Extremely Ripped- from the neck down!

dorothyrd said:
So my question for those who are getting all this done for themselves. If you see someone like ....me....who really has no desire, or need to get rid of the wrinkles, do you think, oh she should have work done? Because if the answer is no, than why do you see it in yourself. Truly not slamming anyone, I really just do not understand it(except maybe the hair, mine is still dark at age 47, but when I go grey I will color it, at least for a awhile, because color can be fun).
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My answer to that is no. Can't really explain it. Once in a while I might think it but not in the way that says "oh - they would be so much prettier" type . .

I was teased relentlessly about my "pointed, crooked" chin growing up - so when I was an adult I choose to change it.

I worked my arse off trying to get rid of my "pooch" tummy and it didn't work so I choose to change it.

I hated gum surgery so I choose to fix it another way - braces. And it worked like a charm.

I got tired of buying every eye cream/concealer to brighten my eye area and choose another route to alleviate it.

I get botox now more for the headache issue. I would probably just let it go if it wasn't for that but migraines in general are awful - even if you suffer from them only once in a blue moon like me.

And if the tip of my nose keeps hooking down further and starts touching my upper lip - I'm in.

I doubt a facelife is for me. I remember seeing a patient come in for a followup while waiting for my dad to come out of surgery. Bride of Frankenstein. Scared the crap out of me.

I actually have to see a PS this Thursday to have two moles removed from my neck and ear. That is scaring me due to the fact my Dad just passed away from skin cancer.
 
Jari still looks natural to me, maybe if she just had botox it's hard to tell. Now Debbie Siebers and Tamilee Webb it is pretty obvious they had a face lift, they don't even look like the same person in their older videos, when they don't look the same person it's kinda scary!

I think it would be hard to find a video instructor who hasn't had anything done, it seems to just come with the business they are in to sell their workouts. I'm sure most have had tummy tucks, skin removed, etc.. Even Cathe keeps looking younger and younger each workout series. Exercise and eating will keep your body going, but can only prevent the outside aging so much.
 
dorothyrd said:
So my question for those who are getting all this done for themselves. If you see someone like ....me....who really has no desire, or need to get rid of the wrinkles, do you think, oh she should have work done? Because if the answer is no, than why do you see it in yourself. Truly not slamming anyone, I really just do not understand it(except maybe the hair, mine is still dark at age 47, but when I go grey I will color it, at least for a awhile, because color can be fun).
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No, I wouldn't say that. I "do it to myself" (actually someone "does it to me") b/c it makes me feel pretty, & feeling pretty on the outside makes me feel pretty on the inside. Without it, I feel ugly & I feel less confident on the inside.

Look at Diane Lane. She's about my age. In most movies I see her & think "OMG she looks fabulous for her age!" I saw her in a movie recently (I think she plays some kind of computer detective or something) w/o botox & I thought "jeez, she looks much older than I do." I didn't think "she looks ugly" or "she looks tired" or "she needs more needles in her face."

Listen, there are very few women past the age of 40 who don't have "the 11s" or "the parentheses." If you see one who doesn't, & think to yourself "wow, her skin looks amazing for her age," chances are she has a cosmetic derm to thank for it. ;)
 
To each his own, but for me, I want to look as good as I can for as long as I can. When I think I look good that makes me feel good and that feeling goes a long way. I got breast implants a little over 6 years ago and love them. Nope, I'm not huge. I look very natural. I used to be flat and it made me uncomfortable so I finally decided to do something about it. I did not do it for a man. I did it for me. I work out for me. I do it all for ME! My DH supports it all but has never pushed me to do any of it and if I stopped doing it all tmrw that would be fine with him too. :)
 
jodijodi said:
Of course not, Laura. I re-wrote that several times before I posted it because I was afraid of how it was going to come across. I really don't want to sound judgmental about it. I really don't think any less of anyone for doing it. It's hard to explain exactly how I feel...all I can say for sure is that it's not something that I personally want to do.

Maybe it's just a wish in the back of my mind that we could all embrace all kinds of beauty without feeling like we have to change ourselves. But even that sounds more critical than I want it to.

And of course I wear makeup, and style my hair, and do lots of other things that I hope improve my appearance, so I don't want to sound like a hypocrite.

Sigh. I guess I'll never be able to explain exactly what I mean.
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I feel the same, so I get what you are trying get across. Alot of women that do get work done looked great before, and I wonder why did they feel they had to have work done.

I think we are told that having a wrinkle here or there is ugly and having a nose like some famous person is the ideal beauty, so we get it changed. Beauty doesn't just come on the cover of a magazine.

It doesn't mean letting yourself go, getting unhealthy and out of shape, you can take care of and be happy with what you have.
 
Thank you all for the wonderful conversation on a difficult subject. It is clear, if nothing else is, that how we feel about how we look, and what we are willing to do to attain that look, is complicated, emotionally charged, and fraught with implications that are difficult to examine without seeming judgemental. It is an important conversation to have, not necessarily to come to any conclusions, but to be willing to look at our reasons for making the choices that we make and even why this issue is such a hot button for so many of us. Something we spend so much time, money and energy on is worth thinking and talking with our sisters about.

I appreciate all of your truthful responses and willingness to jump in to dangerous waters.
 
OK, I get it I think. I think it comes down to how we are so much harsher upon ourselves than others. We see something on ourselves, and we don't like it, for me it is weight, but see someone else the same size as me, and I would probably think, hey, they look OK, or I would pick a good thing about them to focus on. We tend to focus on the bad things in ourselves and want to "fix" it, and hence it makes us feel better.
 
morningstar said:
Thank you all for the wonderful conversation on a difficult subject.
I appreciate all of your truthful responses and willingness to jump in to dangerous waters.
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This sounds so much like the end of the thread. Am I allowed to post?

I think there is nothing wrong with wanting to prolong youth (or life for that matter) through things like looking after yourself well - exercise, eating right, countering stress. Coloring hair, using age defying moisturizer, spa treatments are part of the same over all effort of "maintaining" oneself to delay "aging". Some people's definition includes botox and face lifts. As long as it is balance (not dispropotionate, nor at the level of an obsession), it is a healthy pursuit. It is appreciating and taking care of the gift from mother nature. My personal definition excludes surgery and needles. But that is just for myself.

Not caring about looks is not exactly a virtue. It is a personal choice. I like people with a healthy dose of vanity regarding appearance. I like looking at pretty scenery, and people, especially women (I am straight) who make an effort to look nice. Women are beautiful creatures.

Caring to look attractive to the opposite sex is not bad either in my book. As long as a person does not define themselves by their ability to be "hot", it is harmlessly morale boosting to see appreciation that is never going to amount to anything. Enjoying "visual apprecaition" is the most non-flirtatious, safe form of flirting.

I like what Laura said about appearance being one facet of the whole.

I also see the point of view that excluding wrinkles is a narrow definition of beauty. My mum is seventy, has never had anything done and is still breathtakingly beautiful. Ditto for appreciating that aging is inevitable and that there is far, far more to life than looking good. Looking good is just one of life's frivolous, but still enjoyable pleasures.
 
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dorothyrd said:
OK, I get it I think. I think it comes down to how we are so much harsher upon ourselves than others. We see something on ourselves, and we don't like it, for me it is weight, but see someone else the same size as me, and I would probably think, hey, they look OK, or I would pick a good thing about them to focus on. We tend to focus on the bad things in ourselves and want to "fix" it, and hence it makes us feel better.
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Well said Dorothy. Thank you.

Vrinda, I think the word "balance" is appropriate. Whatever your opinion of cosmetic procedures, I think we can all agree none of us want to look like this:

jocelyn-wildenstein-ba.jpg
 
jodijodi said:
I am a bit disappointed when women I admire turn to plastic surgery.
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I feel the same way, especially when they are in the 'fitness' industry. What about chemicals and surgery and implanting fake things in your body is 'fit'? I just don't get it.

It was a shock to me when Karen Voight went from an "A" cup to what looks like a "D" cup.

I'm sure many instructors have stuff done that's not as obvious. I don't dare get into it here (flame-worthy comment for sure), but one of my most-used instructors looks like she may have had lip collagen, botox and maybe some breast augmentation: all very subtle (which makes me not 100% sure--could be some lip plumping lipstick, a padded bra and a really-smooth-for-her-age forehead).

I do relate to the 'wanting to look as young as one feels' comments, but I also wonder about the 'wanting to look good,' since it seems to define 'good' as 'young.' It seems like a reflection of our society not valuing older women (especially) unless they don't LOOK older.
 
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Vee said:
As long as a person does not define themselves by their ability to be "hot"...
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That's my beef right there.

When I say I don't care if other men find me attractive, I do not mean that I don't put an ounce of effort into my appearance. Quite the opposite. But any effort I extend is done with me in mind, no one else. At the most, I'll wear a certain color eyeliner because I know DH thinks it's pretty. Otherwise, it's all about what I like. Whether or not another individual appreciates me is unimportant. I'm gracious if a compliment comes my way, but I'm not anxious for one. I'm much more interested in good conversation.

By contrast, I've known women who were bitterly disappointed if they didn't turn every head in the room. It wasn't enough for them to look in the mirror and be pleased with themselves. All others, men especially, had to offer sufficient approval.

How women view themselves, especially as they get older, is of great interest to me for a couple of reasons. Being a woman myself is the most obvious, of course. I also have 2 daughters who will have to wrestle with this crap. It's important to me that they have a realistic, healthy view of themselves, and that they don't tie their self worth into their looks.
 
Well, since I originally posted this morning, there have been 54 posts and 1600 views of this thread. So I thought I'd stir the pot a bit more :D

Is looking "old" synonymous with looking "bad"?

I have a friend that is turning 60 this year. She is in excellent shape, a beautiful woman by most people's standards, one hell of an education and a great career behind her. She spent a year looking for a job, and feels that the reason it took her so long to find one is prejudice against her age. So she refuses to give her age to anyone and is extremely touchy on the subject. She feels that her age is a detriment to her, rather than the natural result of staying on this earth for a while, allowing her the opportunity to gain wisdom, experience and learn from a lifetime of mistakes.

Thoughts?
 
All I know is I work out sooooo hard and eat well and I still have dimples on my a$$. :mad: If I could afford to get rid of them tomorrow I would. However, I have two girls that I will have to put through college one day. Maybe I'll get the PS in 20 years or so. I say go for it if you can afford it!
 
I'm with you, Morningstar. I'm all for looking my best, but that doesn't necessarily mean looking younger. My body and face are a gauge to me of what's going on inside. If I'm eating right, taking good care of myself, and controlling my stress, it shows in my face and in my skin. If I'm not, then I don't look well. I'm not judging what's right for others, just for me. It's important for me to be able to look in the mirror, see the "real" me, and know what's up.
 
I had DIEP flap breast reconstruction to replace the breast I lost from my mastectomy. The payoff? A tummy tuck. Do I admit to having enjoyed that one "perk" of breast reconstruction - hell yeah. But on reflection, trying to find meaning in what I experienced, I reallized the body part I always hated - my big freakin' belly, the belly that was so big people would ask me when I was due, the belly I would even (gulp) punch with my own fist because I hated it so, was there to be my new breast when the original breast was gone.

My belly, big for reasons I never imagined, now covers my heart. I love you, belly. I'm sorry I disrespected you so. (Sniff!)

-Susan L.G.
 
After battling breast cancer and working through reconstruction (which I hear is NOT easy), I think you've earned as many perks as possible. :) And may I say...you look fantastic!
 
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