Extremely Ripped- from the neck down!

[morningstar]

I also think it's unfair to say Jari has had work done. It's pure speculation.

If you think it's unfair, do you think then that having plastic surgery is a negative thing? Or is it the perception that comes along with that speculation that is unfair?

 

[morningstar]

I'm just trying to stay as youthful looking as I can.

Why is that?

Edited to say: my question is not meant as an attack. I would really like to know why that is important to you.

 

[TeTe]

I don't really care whether anyone does it or not, I just think it's sad that some people (male or female) are that concerned about their looks and are so afraid of aging. Sure, I don't like the idea that I have more years behind me instead of in front of me, mainly 'cause there's so much I want to DO still! For me, the time; money; pain; and effort that it would take to keep myself looking younger than I really am just seem like a waste. I can't bring myself to spend that much time and energy thinking about my looks; there's way too much other interesting stuff to be doing and more important things (okay, and some frivolous stuff, too!) to occupy my time!

I do think that it gets almost pathetic, though, when people just keep doing it and it is so obvious to everyone but themselves that they look like a science experiment instead of a younger version of themselves. They just can never be satisfied with their looks and they keep fighting this losing battle. I worked with a woman like that. I guess she thought she looked better, but her face started to look like a mask. I wanted to ask her what it was she wanted to hide or what the hell she was running away from.

That's just me; as Liann says, "To each her own."

 

[morningstar]

I hear a lot above about taking extraordinary measures to look good for men. What about taking extraordinary measures to look good in order to be financially successful? If Jari did have surgery, it was probably in the hopes of making her DVDs more successful by making her seem younger. By the way, here is a link to the trailer where I noticed it:

http://www.jarilove.com/html/sample-videos.php#video6

 

[LaughingWater]

You can't lump all women into the same group.

You are correct, which is why I don't. If some woman reads this thread and thinks she sees herself in a comment or two, then that's her perception. My comments, however, are aimed at a specific group (not you, not Laura, etc.), a group that does exist out there, though perhaps quietly.

In addition, none of my opinions are expressed with any kind of venom or bitchiness. If anything, I have a good dose of sympathy for one whose self esteem is at the fickle whim of others. It does drive me crazy, but that's only because I recognize how self-defeating this kind of behavior is.

Regarding Jari, I don't know too much about her. I've seen references to her on this forum, but I've never investigated any further.

MorningStar, I love your questions.

1 & 2: For me, looking good is being healthy, as fit as I can manage, and the basics of personal hygiene (clean, neat, smelling nice, etc.). I also love make up and all the different colors we get to play with. I want to look good for myself because I really enjoy how I feel when I'm at my best. I get a kick out of my pink cheeks or my dark hair against white skin. I like smelling like shampoo and soap. I love when my face is clear.

3. No question, we have a baseline presentability we all try to adhere to in society, and it would hurt us socially if we blew that off. Anything beyond that though, like one person getting promoted over another based on looks, is a disappointment, and it's a game I won't play.

 

[LauraMax]

Why is that?

Edited to say: my question is not meant as an attack. I would really like to know why that is important to you.

It makes me feel good about myself, it gives me confidence, which shows on the outside, which makes me feel even more good about myself, which gives me more confidence.......

You get the idea.

I actually try to be fulfilled in all aspects of my life. My job, health & fitness, beauty, educating & re-educating--for me it's a facet of being a well rounded individual. I don't think I'd score "excellent" in any single facet, I'm aiming to score "very good" in all of them.

Edit: I've seen Jari, although I don't do her workouts. I'm pretty sure she had an unnatural look even if/when she was all natural.

 

[MommaPew]

I don't care either way if Jari or anyone else has had "work" done unless they're trying to sell a product that would be a false representation.

With regard to trying to look good, why do you get a haircut, wear makeup, dress nicely? How is this any different then someone who wants to stay looking young longer? In most cases it's b/c we want to look good to feel good. Morningstar - if that's you in your Avatar - then what's the purpose of using that particular picture? How do you want people on the forum perceiving you? Why show skin? How is that any different?

 

[jodijodi]

I must be a huge disappointment to you guys.

Of course not, Laura. I re-wrote that several times before I posted it because I was afraid of how it was going to come across. I really don't want to sound judgmental about it. I really don't think any less of anyone for doing it. It's hard to explain exactly how I feel...all I can say for sure is that it's not something that I personally want to do.

Maybe it's just a wish in the back of my mind that we could all embrace all kinds of beauty without feeling like we have to change ourselves. But even that sounds more critical than I want it to.

And of course I wear makeup, and style my hair, and do lots of other things that I hope improve my appearance, so I don't want to sound like a hypocrite.

Sigh. I guess I'll never be able to explain exactly what I mean.

 

[SirenSongWoman]

I must be a huge disappointment to you guys.

I'm 41, I'm single, & I have every intention of taking advantage of all the advances science has to offer me to stay looking as young as possible. I'm not doing it for anyone but me. It makes me sad that I (and others) am judged so harshly for it.

I'm with you. At 47, after having made big changes to my appearance (lost lots of weight, changed hair... all non-surgical/cosmetic "procedures"), I'm like a bird out of the cage and it is FAN-TAS-TIC! I LOVE how I feel about myself now (I love feeling anything, period) and the positive feedback I'm getting is awesome. I see the little lines but I can live with those. I'm not, however, crazy about that deep vertical line between my eyes - and I WILL get taken care of soon, without a single regret. I've earned that right.

I become concerned (not judging or accusing, I promise) whenever a woman says she has a man and doesn't care if anyone else finds her attractive. Repeat that to any man and ask what he thinks and you'll get an earful about why men cheat (i.e., because wives feel like they don't have to try any more... it's also why a lot of hetero men avoid marriage). I understand that cosmetic surgery junkies have issues and are actually putting themselves in danger but there IS a middle ground.

Women today are very lucky to live in a time where something about their physical appearance that makes them miserable can be fixed. And I believe that's a personal choice - which most women do not come to regret. If a shot of Botox in your forehead or a tiny bit of something-something filling in the parentheses around your mouth takes a load off your mind every time you look in a mirror, then hallelujah. When you feel good about yourself you project that confidence out into the world and it comes back to you. I'll never fault a woman for really wanting to FEEL... womanly. If I didn't fully understand that when I was fat, alone, and eating ice cream in front of the tv every night (for years on end), I get it now. And I regret being so judgmental.

I just hate for women to give up on themselves. Caring for yourself is good for you and has a whole host of lovely fringe benefits .

 

[TeTe]

With regard to trying to look good, why do you get a haircut, wear makeup, dress nicely? How is this any different then someone who wants to stay looking young longer? In most cases it's b/c we want to look good to feel good.

Well, all those things are temporary. You mess up a haircut or get a wrong shade of lipstick, no big deal (well, to most people!).

Of course people want to look nice and feel good about themselves. I just don't understand when looks are so important to a person's self worth that they have something as extreme as surgery. It's expensive, it's painful, it takes time to recuperate from, it's risky, and there is no guarantee that you're going to get the results that you want.

Jodi, I know what you're trying to say. I think of the women in my life that have influenced me and whom I have admired the most. They ALL looked their ages, some even older because of their lots in life. They had just enough vanity to make them fun, but it wasn't so important to them that it overshadowed the really important stuff.

 

[LauraMax]

I just hate for women to give up on themselves. Caring for yourself is good for you and has a whole host of lovely fringe benefits .
__________________

Stacey D

​

OMG! That reminds me of that Seinfeld episode (well, almost everything reminds me of some Seinfeld epi) where George wears sweatpants everywhere & Jerry says it's b/c he's given up on life.

I am NEVER giving up! LOL! (although I occasionally wear my sweats to go food shopping )

 

[baylian]

Hey LM and maybe TMI from me but whatever. . .

I must be a huge disappointment to you guys.

I'm 41, I'm single, & I have every intention of taking advantage of all the advances science has to offer me to stay looking as young as possible. I'm not doing it for anyone but me. It makes me sad that I (and others) am judged so harshly for it.

Laura - for once and maybe only this one time - we agree.



I am 48 (49 in May).

I have had my chin done (15 years ago had it reshaped and an implant put it it. It was by medical standards deformed. It was known as a witches chin. Flat, crooked and dimpled).

I have had a tummy tuck (2 surgeries - major appendectomy and a C-section - on my gut took it's toll and when it was time for the hyster I lined up the plastic surgeon to close)

I also had my eyes tweeked (I constantly looked tired.)

I have had braces in my forties (my teeth were not crooked but my bite was a mess - also jaw and chin related - and my gums were receding and after the first gum surgery I said never again and asked if there was another way to fix it and the surgeon said braces. I had the appointment that next week).

I am thinking of having my nose done. I had a really nice, straight English nose. It has now started to droop and hook. It is my Father's nose and he had his done at the age of 72 so I figure I have the go ahead. However - with the economy the way it is - it is LOW on the priority list.

I had plastic surgery also that I will leave for you to figure out. Private area and worth every penny. You can PM me if you wish.

I do botox every six months. Miracle drug in my opinion. If for anything - no more hormonal migraines.

I have my hair colored every six weeks. I do not have my sisters wonderful gray/silver color but have the mousy gray color that does nothing but make one look old.

I used to wear expensive make up but I find with time I wear less make up and worry more about how my skin looks. I use drugstore make up now and find it works just fine. If I spend on expensive make up it is usually Bobbi Brown, Lorac or Laura Mercier. Actually Target has some new lines that are a bit more pricey and are very nice.

If there was one procedure that I would have maybe waited on or done different it would have been my eyes. Not sure if it was all worth it. I think I was trying to get a jump on the issue.

And always, always get a second (or third) opinion.

I did it for me. I have been happily married for 19 years. He wasn't always happy about the money I spent but if momma aint happy with how she feels about herself - then he won't be happy ;-)

I think it's the plastic surgery that LOOKS like plastic surgery that gives it all a bad name. I still have wrinkles and spots on my face, knees creak a bit more, weight gain is easier.

I can tell you that these were MY choices. If my husband would have suggested something I may have slugged him and asked him if he has snuck up on a mirror recently!

 

[LaughingWater]

I become concerned (not judging or accusing, I promise) whenever a woman says she has a man and doesn't care if anyone else finds her attractive.

Why? I don't care if anyone else finds me attractive.

Repeat that to any man and ask what he thinks and you'll get an earful about why men cheat (i.e., because wives feel like they don't have to try any more... it's also why a lot of hetero men avoid marriage).

Ah, I'm going to have to disagree here. People cheat because of something THEY lack. The blame does not belong on the spouse.

I just hate for women to give up on themselves. Caring for yourself is good for you and has a whole host of lovely fringe benefits.

I agree. Just because I'm not interested in what other men think of me doesn't mean I don't take care of myself. It means their opinion does not matter to me.

My opinion, however, matters. DH's opinion ranks up there too.

 

[fit44]

If you think it's unfair, do you think then that having plastic surgery is a negative thing? Or is it the perception that comes along with that speculation that is unfair?

I think it's unfair because you are judging Jari by her looks. You do not know her personally, but you started a thread about her appearance. That is unfair and sad.

 

[fit44]

I do botox every six months. Miracle drug in my opinion. If for anything - no more hormonal migraines.

Baylain, I'm getting my first botox injection tomorrow for migraines.

 

[baylian]

It works - at least for me.

 

[cataddict]

JMO, but I interpreted the OP comment as intended to open a discussion about why women do or do not choose to use surgical/chemical means to alter appearance, whether to look prettier, younger or somehow different.

I don't know whether Jari has had "work" done but she is in the public eye and I'm sure feels a different kind of pressure due to the necessity of "marketing" herself in a youth obsessed world. I've never chosen her as a role model or a "goal model" but I use her work outs and have seen benefits.

There are a lot of risks (including physical) as well as rewards of a choice of surgical changes. One can look good without it and I don't know that "taking care of oneself" necessarily has to include surgery or injections of botox. It's a personal choice but making that choice does say something about the chooser. Exactly what, I'm not really sure as it depends on the circumstances and the reason for the choice.

I never say never but surgery/botox is not for me. I'm in my 50s now. Felt more pressure to "look young" in my 40s but now it's just more important to me to be healthy and fit regardless of the wrinkles.

 

[Gayle]

Beyond the issue of feeling like we are not good enough just as we are and the psychological ramifications of that feeling, I'm not sure why looking younger is a compliment - okay, you look more fertile and therefore, from a biological point of view, hotter- but younger also can equate with being naive, stupid, ignorant, unseasoned, powerless and easy to manipulate. I think women get more powerful the older we get as we get to know who we are, where our strengths lie and what we want. Perception sometimes becomes reality. I wonder why we are so willing to give away the perception of the kinds of power we have earned just to have the perception of being fertile. I understand the biological imperative of wanting men to find us hot, I just wonder if we are paying too high a price for it.

Morningstar - I think this statement is brilliant!!

Finding happiness in yourself and who you are places you in an incredibly powerful state of being. It's unfortunate that so many women give that power away by caring too much of what others think of their appearance.

Feeling powerful in your own right also emanates to those around you. Let's face it, it's not hard to recognize a confident person, and confidence is attractive...male or female.

I've had own bad experiences with body image and all the crap that goes with it. I can't pinpoint what changed me, but I'm glad I changed. Those were the most unhappy years of my life. I think TeTe's quote was 100% on target.

For me, there's no way I can spend money on plastic surgery for matters that gravity will win in the end anyway. I'd rather take the cash and travel.

Also, I'm really bothered that the risks of PS appear to be trivialized in general (not here specifically, but in the media and society in general).

BTW - I don't equate PS with reconstructive types of surgeries or those that alleviate health problems...i.e. breast reduction, deviated septum...

But as Liann said "to each her own"...

 

[morningstar]

I don't care either way if Jari or anyone else has had "work" done unless they're trying to sell a product that would be a false representation.

With regard to trying to look good, why do you get a haircut, wear makeup, dress nicely? How is this any different then someone who wants to stay looking young longer? In most cases it's b/c we want to look good to feel good. Morningstar - if that's you in your Avatar - then what's the purpose of using that particular picture? How do you want people on the forum perceiving you? Why show skin? How is that any different?

Sorry, that's not me in my avatar. That's a postcard from Post Secret (www.postsecret.com) that really spoke to me. It's the words on the stomach, not the stomach itself.

 

[dorothyrd]

So my question for those who are getting all this done for themselves. If you see someone like ....me....who really has no desire, or need to get rid of the wrinkles, do you think, oh she should have work done? Because if the answer is no, than why do you see it in yourself. Truly not slamming anyone, I really just do not understand it(except maybe the hair, mine is still dark at age 47, but when I go grey I will color it, at least for a awhile, because color can be fun).