Dumbest Criminal stories

L

lesliemarie

Cathlete
Just had to tell a dumb criminal storie that just ran in the new. some guy called the police to report a burglary and told the officers he owed over $1400 in drug money and he thinks the dealers did the stealing so the police ran a check on him and found he was wanted on two warrants himself!!!!
If anyone has a good dumb criminal story please do add it LOL
 
As a paralegal who works in violent crime prosecution, I can tell you what you read in the paper is a tiny fraction of the weird stuff going on out there.

A couple of years ago I got a suspect report (no arrest made at the time of the report) where a woman's ex-boyfriend came over to the house she was visiting, punched his fist through the glass front door, came into the house and threatened her and all the other occupants. He fled the house when the woman called 911.

Unbeknownst to the first responding squad, a second anonymous call to 911 reported a man lying in a street about a block away from this house. The second squad responded, and saw that this man was exsanguinating from severing the radial artery in the hand he used to punch through the glass door. He was DOA at the hospital.

A-Jock
 
My favorites are the ones you hear about where some idiot(s) try to pull an ATM machine apart by attaching it to their back bumper. Then they get in a hurry and end up leaving the back bumper, with license plate attached, on the ground as they attempt a quick getaway.
T.:)
 
LOL that is a good one!! on person got busted for speeding and when the cop pulled him over he had the back seat stacked with Pot all the way to the ceiling!!! no hiding it that way LMAO!!!
 
One that was in my local paper recently...a guy went into a bank branch, handed the teller a note saying he had a gun, and the teller handed over a bag of money. It was all done quietly and discreetly and no one in the bank was aware that a robbery was taking place. As the robber turned away from the teller, something fell from his pocket. A customer waiting in line picked up the item and tried to give it to the man, but he brushed right by and walked away. When the police showed up, the customer handed over the object that had fallen from the robber's pocket -- it was his DRIVER'S LICENSE. The cops drove right on over to the idiot's apartment and arrested him.

I also remember reading about a robbery at a convenience store. The robber brandished a gun and had the cashier empty the cash drawer. The robber grabbed some cigarettes and lottery tickets, then ordered the cashier to get him a bottle of liquor which was behind the counter. The cashier told the robber he was too young and he couldn't give it to him. The robber insisted that the cashier hand over the bottle, and the cashier said, "sorry, I'll get in too much trouble because you're under age." The robber PULLED OUT HIS I.D. to show the cashier that he was of age. The cashier apologized and gave the guy his bottle. I'll betcha that moron was truly surprised that the police found him, too!

Allison
 
A-Jock, something very similar just happened in my neighborhood a couple of weeks ago! A guy broke into a video store by breaking a window and stole some video games. On his way back out the broken window, he cut his leg and ended up bleeding to death on the poor guy's lawn who lived across the street! And all he had stolen was a couple hundred $$ worth of video games--how stupid and sad!

-Marie
 
How about the woman who recently tried to pass a MILLION dollar
bill at Walmart. Arrested on the spot. Don't know if this
qualifies, but the man who decided to nail himself to a cross. After
nailing the first hand, he realized he couldn't nail the other
hand, so he called 911 and wanted them to come and nail the
other hand for him. Aye aye aye. You really have to feel for
the people in law enforcement. :eek:
 
I was thinking the clerk was kind of smart - he must have known the robber was a nitwit and figured he'd try to bluff him to show some I.D. Any respectable robber would have told the clerk to shut up and give him the bottle; this pinhead wasn't even bright enough to figure out that HE had the gun and therefore the upper hand...;-)
 
Ok I just had to add another one, on the news yesterday there was THREE bank robberies in one day, but the funny one was, this guy that robbed the SAME bank just two weeks ago thought he could go back in and do it again. just as he walked into the door and to a tellar and handed her a note the other tellar recogniZed him and called police and just as he was walking out the door the police nailed him LOL.
 
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