Did you change your name when you got married?

Did you change your name when you got married?

  • Total voters
    1,748
Yup, and I kept his last name when we got divorced. Much easier to spell than my maiden name and I wanted to have the same name as my son. When SO and I finally get married I plan to take his last name and he is planning on adopting my son.
 
I think it's pathetic that someone would ridicule a man for taking his wife's name or hyphenating his name.
 
Yeppers. I'm traditional that way. It wasn't really hard at all.


Debbie



I'm not gaining weight. I'm retaining food.
 
I wanted our family to be a unit with one last name, so I definitely changed mine. I do use my maiden name as my middle name though. I dropped "Marie", which is the middle name I was given at birth, so everything reads Jeanne Smith Jones.
 
>
>My husband quickly replied, "Huh? I don't remember a Mr. &
>Mrs. Moses." I knew then why I married him.


That's priceless!! What a great comeback.
 
I changed my name and it was a very easy, smooth process. I had everything done in one day. Even the transition from maiden to married at work was very smooth. They had my email and everything changed over within a week.
 
I changed my name and was thrilled to do it. I became half of a whole, and I'm proud! Love my old family, love my new family, and a name is a name. I'm still me!:)
Deanie
 
Wow...am I in the minority here that I just didn't see it as that big of a deal?
It was a pain to do, yes. But I kept a copy of my marriage certificate with me in my purse, and that solved any issues that came up.
I also don't see it as an act of giving up my identity or making me his property. My husband and I are equals and have always treated each other that way.
I know lots of women that did not change their names with marriage. I'm just surprised at the strong reaction that some people have to it, I guess.
 
It's interesting to read about those that didn't change their names and the reasons. Some of you say that you didn't because of the trouble involved. I think that it depends on several things as to how much trouble it was... 1) how old you were when you married. 2) how long ago that has been.

I was 24 years old, and it has been 25 years ago. I didn't have but one credit card. My career was just starting. It was a breeze. I don't even remember having to do anything other than change my checking account and driver's license. So... those of you who are getting married later in life, already have careers, established credit, even children.... I can see where it would be a major pain to do it.

Even so, I think I still would change my name if I were to marry today. I don't see my name as changing who I am inside, so becoming a family unit with one name would still be important to me.
 
I didn't. It never crossed my mind and it would have been too much trouble. I don't even like my surname but I'd lived with my, kind of unusual, full name for 34 years and got used to it.

Also, my DH was married before and she hasn't changed her name back so I didn't want to be the second Mrs Doodad and she has the same initial as me which would have been even worse!

Our daughter has his name though because I think that's easier.

Ronne
 
>Wow...am I in the minority here that I just didn't see it as
>that big of a deal?
>It was a pain to do, yes. But I kept a copy of my marriage
>certificate with me in my purse, and that solved any issues
>that came up.
>I also don't see it as an act of giving up my identity or
>making me his property. My husband and I are equals and have
>always treated each other that way.
>I know lots of women that did not change their names with
>marriage. I'm just surprised at the strong reaction that some
>people have to it, I guess.

Well I guess we're a minority of two. I never felt like I was defined by my last name & it was no big deal to me either (other than the hassle of actually changing it). I certainly didn't feel like a piece of property when I did it--it was my choice, & I made it with absolutely no pressure from my ex. My maiden name was impossible to spell & pronounce, & my ex's name was common, easy to spell & almost impossible to mess up. For me it was simply a matter of convenience, although my family was pretty pi$$ed when I didn't change it back. They felt much more strongly about it than I did. Go figure.
 
Some questions:

1.) Why are men insulted by the concept of changing their name to that of their wife? (has anyone been denuded of their masculinity by doing this?)

2.) Why would a woman be considered a "piece of property" by changing her name to that of her husband's (and no, I am not picking on the person who stated this. It's a valid feeling, at least in my book.)

3.) Why should anyone feel obligated to defend their choice to other either way (I see nothing wrong with being "traditional")

4.) Why should anyone feel robbed of their identity by changing their name (again, a valid feeling, but why?)

Just some things to consider since we all come to this concept with our own opinions, ideas, and maybe baggage. Interesting discussion and food for thought (and hopefully no one is offended!)
 
"Why would a woman be considered a "piece of property" by changing her name to that of her husband's"

Because, that's pretty much how the whole concept of a woman changing her name started; back in the good old days when women were, indeed, the property of their spouses.

I figure, do what you want. It just didn't make any sense to me. It just seemed like a tradition whose time had passed. I don't have kids, but I'm friends with five couples who do, and the woman not changing her name was never an issue. Their children are just fine and they are still families in every sense of the word.

I was fortunate that my husband felt exactly as I did. I've talked to women who said that they had big arguments with their husbands-to-be over it, and they went ahead and changed it to appease their husbands. I know it's not the same for everyone, but that would have been a big red flag for me.
 
I did not change my name when I got married. However I had a feeling it was not right and was divorced less than a year later.


If I was ever to get married again I probably would change my last name. I am pretty feminist about most things but I just can not stand my last name. If I end up meeting and marrying a guy with a last name I like I do not see the point in jumping the chance to lose it. However I will never answer to "Mrs. *husband's name*". Any mail that has that on it will get a return to sender mark on it!
 
I just added his last name to my last name. In Brazil you either add a name or don't change at all,(you can't switch one last name for another),we got married first there. When was time to get married here, (yes, I married the same guy twice:p ), we did the same thing so I would not have a bunch of different names.
 
One good thing about not changing your name is that when solicitors call and ask for Mrs. Husband's-Last-Name, we know that it's not someone we know or that we've ever gotten in touch with. When we hear them say that on our answering machine, DH always yells out, "My mom doesn't live here!"
 
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