spyrosmom
Cathlete
In my gut, I know the answer is yes, but this has been driving me batty since yesterday, and I feel awful about doing it.
Yesterday morning when I got up, I poured my coffee and stumbled downstairs to check my email and FB. I had a FB msg from my BIL, which was also addressed my DH, my other BIL and his wife. My 3rd BIL and his wife we not addressed in it, but 3rd BIL had a very nasty post on his wall. It was basically a suicide note with a threat to make it a murder-suicide by taking his father (my FIL) out with him, perhaps blowing up the house.
I called the cops, and they went over there. BIL agreed to go to the ER, and as of today, he has been placed in a state mental facility for the next 2 weeks, after that (to my understanding) he will be back at an halfway house/inpatient intensive alcohol rehab program. He is a recovering alcoholic who has been back sliding for a while, and has started smoking pot again. From what I heard, he is using his unemp checks to support these habits.
I found out afterwards, he had drank a 30 pack of beer, left suicide notes all over the house (he lives w/ FIL who has a very negative attitude about EVERYthing - I don't think he should live there) went to sleep or passed out, woke up an hour later, and went around an gathered up his notes and threw them out before FIL saw them.
FIL was pissed that someone had the cops beating on his door at 7 am yesterday morning. The way I see it better to wake up to the cops than to wake up dead, right? I don't really think BIL would have done anything, but it freaked me out. Apparantly, 2nd SIL saw the message after I did, and she called the police about 10 or 11 am and they told her they had already been out there.
The consensus between DH, his brothers, SILs and I is that calling the police was the right thing to do. FIL is pissed, but he's always pissed at the world. I personally think he needs to get his head out of his backside, stop wallowing in his own misery and see what is really going on under his roof. FIL has been in a funk since his wife died 10 years ago and still hates the world, but refuses to seek help. All he has done is push everyone away, which is why I don't think BIL should be there, but he doesn't work, can't find a job, and has no where else to go. Sadly, given BIL's track record (and it's a long one) I will not allow him to stay at our house, and DH agrees.
Why do I feel so awful about this???? Poor BIL spent all day yesterday and the night at the hospital to detox from the beer and wait to get transported to the state facility - he has no insurance, so can't stay at the hospital - has to go to the state. I know it was the right thing to do, he needs the help, and he knows he does. But at the same time, I feel like he is telling us what we want to hear. Although from what I understand, he was brutally honest w/ the Drs he spoke with at the hospital yesterday. SIL was there with him most of the day and the evening. FIL was there for a bit, then said he "had to go to work" WTF????????? You work at a flippin' hardware store. Try being there for your son, jerk!!! The hardware store will get along without you. You are not the CEO of the world!!!! It will keep on turning. Also, from my understanding, when FIL saw what was written to us (which included a murder threat to him) he had no reaction, and just kinda blew it off. Shock, maybe? Didn't know how to react?
I just feel like by calling the police on him, I was kicking while he was down. I really didn't want to do it. In fact, I took DH to Kindercare, and was going to go to work, but just couldn't shake a bad, bad feeling so I went home and called the police. I don't rattle easily, but it really got to me. And I feel like he will hate me forever for this. I'm not sure he knows which one of called, but he knows it was one of us.
Ah, I'm rambling, DH and I have been over and over this, and while we both know it sucked to do it, we know it was right, but I feel so awful for doing it. But I didn't want to end up on the evening news as the person who had the message and didn't prevent an awful occurrence.
The only thing positive I can think of is that hopefully this is BIL's rock-bottom moment, and he will really will try to get it back together. He's tried before and is good for a week or 2 and then the real world bites him the butt and he is back in drowning in the drink.
*sigh* Thanks for listening.
Nan
Yesterday morning when I got up, I poured my coffee and stumbled downstairs to check my email and FB. I had a FB msg from my BIL, which was also addressed my DH, my other BIL and his wife. My 3rd BIL and his wife we not addressed in it, but 3rd BIL had a very nasty post on his wall. It was basically a suicide note with a threat to make it a murder-suicide by taking his father (my FIL) out with him, perhaps blowing up the house.
I called the cops, and they went over there. BIL agreed to go to the ER, and as of today, he has been placed in a state mental facility for the next 2 weeks, after that (to my understanding) he will be back at an halfway house/inpatient intensive alcohol rehab program. He is a recovering alcoholic who has been back sliding for a while, and has started smoking pot again. From what I heard, he is using his unemp checks to support these habits.
I found out afterwards, he had drank a 30 pack of beer, left suicide notes all over the house (he lives w/ FIL who has a very negative attitude about EVERYthing - I don't think he should live there) went to sleep or passed out, woke up an hour later, and went around an gathered up his notes and threw them out before FIL saw them.
FIL was pissed that someone had the cops beating on his door at 7 am yesterday morning. The way I see it better to wake up to the cops than to wake up dead, right? I don't really think BIL would have done anything, but it freaked me out. Apparantly, 2nd SIL saw the message after I did, and she called the police about 10 or 11 am and they told her they had already been out there.
The consensus between DH, his brothers, SILs and I is that calling the police was the right thing to do. FIL is pissed, but he's always pissed at the world. I personally think he needs to get his head out of his backside, stop wallowing in his own misery and see what is really going on under his roof. FIL has been in a funk since his wife died 10 years ago and still hates the world, but refuses to seek help. All he has done is push everyone away, which is why I don't think BIL should be there, but he doesn't work, can't find a job, and has no where else to go. Sadly, given BIL's track record (and it's a long one) I will not allow him to stay at our house, and DH agrees.
Why do I feel so awful about this???? Poor BIL spent all day yesterday and the night at the hospital to detox from the beer and wait to get transported to the state facility - he has no insurance, so can't stay at the hospital - has to go to the state. I know it was the right thing to do, he needs the help, and he knows he does. But at the same time, I feel like he is telling us what we want to hear. Although from what I understand, he was brutally honest w/ the Drs he spoke with at the hospital yesterday. SIL was there with him most of the day and the evening. FIL was there for a bit, then said he "had to go to work" WTF????????? You work at a flippin' hardware store. Try being there for your son, jerk!!! The hardware store will get along without you. You are not the CEO of the world!!!! It will keep on turning. Also, from my understanding, when FIL saw what was written to us (which included a murder threat to him) he had no reaction, and just kinda blew it off. Shock, maybe? Didn't know how to react?
I just feel like by calling the police on him, I was kicking while he was down. I really didn't want to do it. In fact, I took DH to Kindercare, and was going to go to work, but just couldn't shake a bad, bad feeling so I went home and called the police. I don't rattle easily, but it really got to me. And I feel like he will hate me forever for this. I'm not sure he knows which one of called, but he knows it was one of us.
Ah, I'm rambling, DH and I have been over and over this, and while we both know it sucked to do it, we know it was right, but I feel so awful for doing it. But I didn't want to end up on the evening news as the person who had the message and didn't prevent an awful occurrence.
The only thing positive I can think of is that hopefully this is BIL's rock-bottom moment, and he will really will try to get it back together. He's tried before and is good for a week or 2 and then the real world bites him the butt and he is back in drowning in the drink.
*sigh* Thanks for listening.
Nan
Hopefully they all get help.
