BelovedHeather
Cathlete
Beloved Ones:
This is the morning after the long-awaited Cathe Road Trip at 8:00 a.m., and I am still basking in the afterglow and feeling overwhelmed with emotion. There are no words to adequately convey the glory of this amazing experience, but I simply must try because my heart is so full that it will burst if I do not start writing. This was a life-changing weekend for me, and I will never be the same. My heart was bathed in love, and my body was baptized in sweat and tears. I was not expecting this to be such an intense spiritual experience, but it was. I left that place Sunday feeling like I had been to church. I have never been so loved. So much of my experience is too intensely personal to discuss in a public forum. I am not free to share everything, but I am praying that God will help me find the words to express what is in my heart.
I have battled deep insecurity all my life. While I am breaking free, insecurity is still a stronghold in my life. I wrote a long message about my lifelong battles with food and my weight in June, so I will not recount all that again.
I experienced Cathe’s workouts for the first time shortly before the 2005 Road Trip. I started dreaming about attending the next one. I was hoping to get in shape first and have this weekend be a celebration of reaching my goal weight and size. That was my plan. God had a greater plan. Looking back, I can testify that I am so glad I had the blessed opportunity to attend the Road Trip at this size.
My parents divorced when I was a baby, and being abandoned by my father left me feeling rejected and insecure. I was surrounded by many people who valued physical beauty above all else. The message I received from childhood on was loud and clear: if you want to be loved, you need to be thin and beautiful. All I have ever wanted is to be loved. I was willing to die for it. My desperate need for unconditional love coupled with intense insecurity ushered so much hell and devastation in my life and led me straight to the pit time and time again. I got on the dieting roller coaster when I was 9 years old, battled anorexia in high school and weighed 88 pounds when I graduated, binged and purged with laxatives and diuretics in college, gave up in despair and binged my way up to 260 pounds in my 20s, starved off 111 pounds with no exercise in my late 20s, went through a season of personal hell, regained every ounce, and ended up at 260 pounds again. I joined a fitness club, exercised like crazy, and dropped 50 pounds in 6 weeks. I lost my beloved grandpa to cancer, went through a season of intense grief and was not able to keep exercising 3 hours a day, regained every ounce of that weight, and topped out at 260 pounds for the third and last time.
I finally gave up in a good way. I surrendered control to God. I started my fitness journey on July 4, 2003, at 260 pounds in women's size 28 shorts. I wrote a letter to the Lord surrendering food and my weight to Him, tied it to balloons, and released it. Even though I have done some emotional eating, I have been binge free since that day by the grace of God. No more extreme diets for me. No matter how many years it takes to reach my goal, I want to do it in a way that blesses my body this time. I walked by faith and was delivered from 80 pounds in 9 months. I had a childlike faith, and my plan was simple. I ate for the glory of God and exercised as an act of worship. I simply ate less and moved more. Then I joined the FIRM Ya Yas in the spring of 2005. I was searching for intense and fun home workouts that would leave me drenched in sweat and begging for mercy. They affirmed that I would love Cathe, and I do. I started collecting Cathe’s workouts and reading her forums and finally found the courage to join and start writing during her injury because I wanted to encourage her. I felt very insecure about joining. When I read negative comments about Cedie’s size and even comments about Cathe herself, it made me wonder what on earth people would think about me. Cedie is not fat by any stretch of the imagination, and Cathe is most definitely not bulky. Cathe and her crew are some of the fittest and most beautiful women I have ever met.
These forums have been a tremendous blessing to me, and I am so grateful. Certain threads arise from time to time that cause me to feel like someone has taken a giant spoon and stirred up all those old insecurities that are still in me. This is actually a good thing. God does not want me to live in bondage, and the stuff needs to be stirred to the surface so it can be skimmed off.
I prayed when Cathe announced the Road Trip and knew that God wanted me to go and that He had a greater purpose for me than simply enjoying a few fun workouts. I could not have dreamed or imagined what this weekend would be like. It far exceeded my wildest imaginations, touched me in my feelings, rocked me my world, and changed me forever.
I will confess that I was still hoping to get in shape and get as close to my goal weight at possible before the Road Trip. I flirted with gaining and losing the same 10 pounds through the end of June. My focus shifted in July. I started Beth Moore’s Daniel Bible study and a 40-day Daniel fast on the July 1. I bought a pair of size 22 capris that were tight on me. At that point in the journey, I knew that it was not realistic or possible to even get down below 200 pounds before the Road Trip apart from divine intervention. I fasted, prayed, feasted on my Bible study, cried and prayed through sleepless nights, and started getting my game face on spiritually so I could face Cathe and all the Road Trippers at that size. For 40 days, I did not eat any meat, dairy products, eggs, white rice and white flour, sugar, artificial sweeteners, caffeine (including coffee and tea and chocolate), carbonated drinks, processed food with preservatives and additives, convenience food, fried food, high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oil, and extracted fat. This was not about weight loss. My goal was to break free from food-related strongholds. I ate plenty of fresh fruit, organic orange juice, veggies, unsalted nuts, and organic pinto beans. I was not expecting to shed any weight because my calories were high. My body was craving protein like crazy, and I was hungry all the time no matter how much I ate. My heart was breaking for someone I love, I was very emotional, I did not have the energy with this way of eating to properly fuel my workouts, I lost upper body strength, and my overall endurance and stamina definitely decreased.
I shared in my monthly update that July was an intense and emotional month for me. I spent over a week of sleepless and tear-filled nights down on my knees in prayer. I was blessed with a precious private message that was a gift from God. I carried it around with me and cried over it for days. The heartfelt words touched me in my feelings, and God worked through this message to start healing a deep wound in my heart and help me see myself the way He sees me. I am not perfect. I have lost countless battles with my weight, but I am not a failure. I am strong, healthy, beautiful, and intelligent. I am loving, kind, and genuine. I desperately needed the reminder that my heart is what really matters. When all is said and done and this life is over, it will not matter what size earth suit I wore. Little did I know that this message was just the beginning. I would soon be overwhelmed with amazing love in person!
The size 22 capris that I bought for the Road Trip were big on me by the end of the July. I went shopping every night after work and spent hours searching for clothes that fit with no success. It was unbelievable. After struggling for months and spinning my wheels, the weight finally start melting away when I finally stopped striving and shifted my focus to the spiritual. After walking through every store in town and finding nothing that fit and coming home late every night with tired and aching feet, I decided to shrink my capris and make them work for me. Let me just say that this was not one of my better plans. You will soon know why.
My last workout was Body Max 2 the Saturday before the Road Trip, and I knew that I was in trouble. I had to rest after every segment. The Daniel fast, intense emotions, and sleepless nights were wiping me out. For the first time, I started getting concerned about how I would physically endure so many Cathe workouts in one weekend. The last weekend before the Road Trip was stressful and busy as I rushed around getting ready for my trip.
I was hoping to get a good night of sleep before getting on the plane Thursday morning. That so did not happen. I bought gifts for Cathe, Chris, Nancy, and our beloved coordinators and did not consider how I would pack these. My prayer partner came over and prayed for me, Cathe, and all the Road Trippers while I was trying to pack. She gazed at everything on my bed and on the floor and wondered how on earth I was planning to fit it all in my bags. I needed a miracle! I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. doing the suitcase shuffle and finally made it work. I only had room for one pair of workout shoes, so I packed my Ryka Intensity XT cross training shoes and had to leave behind all my Nike Shox. Cathe’s gift was more important, so it was a small sacrifice. (But I have to confess that I was coveting her Nike Shox all weekend!)
I had a hard time moving when my alarm went off at 3:30 a.m. I did not really sleep that night. No, I would say that 90 minutes is more like a nap. I had just enough time to take a shower and wash and dry my hair. My eyes were killing me because my contacts had been in for 24 hours. It was also time for a fresh pair, but I did not have time to change them because I would miss my plane if I did not leave right away. I put the new pair in a bag in my checked bag. My quart-size bag for my carry-on had all my make-up and a small bottle of hair spray so I could finish getting ready at the airport since I was running late. I did not have room for my contacts in there, and I thought they would be safe in my checked bag. I would soon discover that I was wrong.
I loaded my bags in the trunk of my car and rushed to the airport just in time to check-in before boarding. The only parking space I could find was far from the terminal. I knew that I would need to run to make it. Then one of the wheels on my checked bag fell off. I had to carry it, and that bag was heavy. I have a lot of hair care products. Just ask my Road Trip roomies about my Texas hair! In addition to the checked bag, I had a large carry-on suitcase and a tote bag as well as a small purse. Running across the parking lot with all those bags, my capris fell down. Literally! I was so glad I bought new undies that matched my top! If you are going to show your butt to everyone at the airport, you do not want your undies to clash with your top!
As soon as I checked in and dropped off my checked bag, I had a free hand to hold up my capris. I was expecting the rest of my trip to be uneventful. I got flagged for extra security checks. Not only did I have to get patted down, but my bags that I so lovingly packed until 2:00 a.m. were torn apart. The security agent was in awe when she saw how much stuff was in my tote bag. When she got to the bottom of the bag, she pulled out one of Cathe’s gifts and told me that it is what looked like a weapon on the x-ray machine. The woman handed it to me and informed me that I would need to pack everything again because fitting that much stuff in there was beyond her packing ability. Great!
Thankfully, my flight to Dallas was smooth and uneventful. I had time to fix my hair and make-up. I made a call to one of my Road Trip roomies with my first ever cell phone that I just bought. I was so glad I got one because I definitely needed it this weekend. When I stood up, someone I have never met called my name. It was Gin from the Road Trip check-in, and Jean soon joined us. It was comforting to know that they were on the same flight with me. This whole trip was a leap of faith for me. I was stepping way out of my comfort zone, and I was blessed to have Jean with me after meeting her in June. I love to travel but not alone!
Gayle picked us up at the airport, which was a tremendous blessing. I am not familiar with that part of the country, and I was not looking forward to finding my way around the airport and figuring out how to find Rapid Rover. Gayle is incredibly warm and friendly. I immediately bonded with her and felt comfortable in her presence. The instant connection is one of the things that amazed me the most this entire weekend. Gayle is very fit and strong. She carried my heaviest bag for me. That was nice. She made me walk up several flights of stairs in a hot parking garage carrying my other bags with my capris falling down again. That was not nice! (I still love you, Gayle!)
After checking in at the hotel and getting settled in our rooms, we scouted out the restaurant next door and decided that it would be good for dinner. The Fairfield Inn was lovely by the way. My room was super clean, it smelled like potpourri, and the bed was so comfortable. This is likely the nicest hotel I have ever visited. Cathe and our beloved coordinators, good job on this pick!
Gayle and Jean and I went to Wendy’s for lunch so I could order a plain baked potato then met Amy and drove to Cathe’s club to check it out. I have to be honest. I was not impressed initially. It is full of an amazing array of weight machines, but y’all know that I am not wild about weight training in general or machines of any kind. I could not imagine what anyone would need with all those machines. LOL! When the building was full of Cathe and the Road Trippers the next day, my opinion changed dramatically! I am such a people person. Empty buildings do not make my heart smile. I love buildings that are full of life and fun! People make the places special to me. I have a love for Jersey because of who lives there! I will say that this club is immaculate. I have never been to a club that is so clean. The private dressing rooms are a classy touch as well. It is definitely a nice club, but this cardio queen did not fall in love with the place until Cathe’s class the next morning! We met Ed, Cathe’s maintenance guy. He took us into the studio and took a picture of us. That studio is hot, hot, hot. I cannot imagine how they film those workouts without passing out, and they did not even have all the studio lights on when we were there!
We returned to our hotel rooms for a nap. I could not sleep. I was feeling homesick and nervous about the whole experience. A tidal wave of doubt and insecurity washed over me. I started wondering if I would be disappointed after all the months of anticipation. Would this live up to all my expectations? Would I be able to keep up with all these workouts? Was I crazy for being here? I am an extrovert, so I was fine as soon as other Road Trippers started arriving. My greatest times of insecurity hit when I am alone with my swirling thoughts.
A group of early birds went to dinner at Uno’s Thursday night. It was the 40th day of my fast, so I could not eat anything good until midnight. I enjoyed a few bites of steamed broccoli and ordered a small cheese pizza to take back to my hotel room with me. We had such a good time. Pennie, I love you. Thank you for loving me lavishly and sharing so many kind words. I hope you start posting more! We need more Texas girls around here!
We had an informal gathering in the hotel lobby after dinner. Allison walked in, and I introduced myself as Heather. She blew me away when she joyfully responded, “The Heather?! BelovedHeather!” I was not expecting to meet many people on this trip who knew anything about me other than a few check-in friends. I got this reaction over and over all weekend. People lavished me with love and told me how blessed they are by my posts and what an inspiration I am to them. Me?! An inspiration?! I often feel like such a failure because I struggle with my weight and am only 50 pounds below my top weight after 4 years of this journey! Allison pulled Tracey Staehle out of bed in her pajamas and brought her to the lobby to meet me. She is so nice. Tracey’s passion for fitness is obvious, and I can tell that she genuinely loves helping people. (By the way, I own more workout shoes than Tracey does!) We had such a blast in that hotel lobby. Every time a new Road Tripper walked in the front door, we laughed and had a fit of delight and asked the front desk clerk to take another group picture with one more camera this time! What a sweet guy he was!
I am not a drinker, but I returned to Uno’s with Pennie and Amy and visited with them while they enjoyed a relaxing glass of wine before bedtime. We were all too excited to sleep! We were like kids on Christmas Eve.
I faithfully completed my fast and enjoyed a midnight snack of cheese pizza. Yummy! One of my roomies, Kim, arrived Thursday night. I asked her if it would be okay for me to walk down to the dining room in my pajamas to use the microwave oven. She laughed and told me that I should have read Lorrayne’s packing list, and I would have known to bring a robe. I did not have room for one! I did not have room for all the outfits I wanted to bring (or my beloved Nike Shox)! She handed me a small quilt that on was on the end of the bed and wrapped it around me like a shawl. Down to the lobby I went wrapped in the bed covering and prayed fervently that no Road Trippers would be wandering around in the hall with a camera! Thankfully, everyone was in bed after midnight! The pizza was yummy! Cheese is my favorite food, and it was divine after 40 days of fruit, nuts, and pinto beans! I finally settled down at 2:00 a.m. and woke up at 4:00 a.m. to wash and dry my hair. Yes, it takes me a long time to fix this Texas hair. My Road Trip roomies were amazed!
I had a little crisis Friday morning. I opened my checked bag and found a note that the TSA has searched my bag. My brand new contacts were tossed out in the process. I was so upset! My eyes were killing me, and I do not like to wear my glasses during workouts. Kim and I unpacked all my bags and searched high and low for those things to no avail. I decided to suffer through the day with my old pair.
Friday morning, Kathy G. met us at the hotel. After enjoying a yummy blueberry muffin and a boiled egg for breakfast, we drove to Cathe’s club for her Friday morning step class. I walked into the studio, and Nancy from customer service greeted me by name. I was surprised! She told me that she recognized my picture from the Who’s Who book. I put my step front and center behind Cathe. That is Nancy’s spot, but she graciously allowed me to take her place! I am easily distracted, so I am a front and center girl when I take live classes at home. On top of that, I did not want to miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to enjoy Cathe’s step choreography that close to her! I was a little nervous about making a fool of myself. I am generally good with her step choreography, but I do have a rewind button at home! There was no reason to worry. Cathe is an excellent teacher, and her cuing is stellar.
Cedie walked in, and everyone went nuts. We really scared her! You should have seen the look on her face! Actually, I have pictures to share as soon as I have time to upload them to my PictureTrail. Cathe walked in, and the energy in the room intensified. She is so inspiring. Just being in her presence was worth the trip to Jersey. She is passionate, fun, and friendly. I love her personality on videos, but she is so much more fun in person when she can relax and be completely free. I love the way she interacts with people during her live classes. Meeting Cathe for the first time and enjoying her Friday morning step class was the highlight of the whole weekend for me. She taught a dancy step class that was fast-paced and extremely fun. She cues exceptionally well. In a live class, she can tell when people are struggling and need more practice with a move before adding the next one. Cathe is very attentive and professional. For those who are curious, she watches us in the mirror instead of mirror cuing. Most non-video instructors teach that way in person now. It is actually easier to follow complex choreography when you are behind an instructor facing the same direction. Cathe is very good at what she does, and she was easy to follow even though many of the moves were new. She is great about showing modifications too. She surprised me when she called me by name during the class and made a cute comment about the spin I added to her mambos. I love to spin and turn, and I intuitively add pivots and turns to moves. I did not even realize I did something different until she said something about it! Rhythmic Step is one of my favorite workouts, and it is hard for me to do the base moves without the pivots or spins. Oh, how fun it was to enjoy Cathe’s dancy choreography on a wood floor! I want that floor! It is so bouncy! I was amazed at what I could do on that floor!
I have been telling Cathe for months that I was waiting to give her a big Texas hug. She also knew that I was feeling insecure about this whole experience at my size. During the first water break, she walked over to me and told me that she was ready for a big hug, and she personally encouraged me. I was so blessed and touched that she would do that. Cathe is so genuine and sweet. She is very warm and friendly and super encouraging. She does not act like a celebrity, and she is not impressed with herself. She is very gracious and humble. I can testify that she is who she represents herself to be on video and so much more.
During the cool-down, Cathe had us do basic steps while she previewed the choreography for one of the new workouts. I am really looking forward to these new workouts. That is all I am free to share on this subject. Everyone needs to see these DVDS or at least the video clips before judging them, so I am going to honor Cathe by not attempting to describe them.
After class, Cathe led us to another room so the next class could get started, and she visited with us and hugged us and took pictures with us and signed things for 2 hours. There were 20 of us (including the coordinators) in her Friday morning class, and it was fun to share some more “intimate” time with her in a smaller group. Cathe is a very private person, and I will respect her privacy by not disclosing details of personal conversations. I will say that she is very open and honest in her responses to questions. She has the gift of hospitality too. She knows how to make everyone feel special, loved, comfortable, and right at home. She blessed me with warm hugs and encouragement, and I had a nice conversation with her. When I told her about my contacts, she promised that they would take care of me even if they had to drive me to Pearle Vision. (Nancy in customer service took care of me, and the place she referred me to blessed me with a free pair of contacts later that day!) That was another amazing thing about this weekend. It was like one big family. When a Road Tripper needed clothes and shoes to wear because her luggage was lost, people provided for her. Everyone was so loved and cared for, and I personally felt safe, secure, and at home the whole time.
Cathe is so friendly and lovable. She is not hard to talk to at all. Being with her feels like being with a good friend. I will not share most of her responses to my questions, but I am confident that Cathe would be okay with me sharing one thing. I asked her how she stays so humble when so many people adore her. She told me that she does not think she is all that and is not impressed with herself because she loves people and believes all people bring special gifts to this world. Cathe is just being herself and doing what she does best. She is actually a little “shy” about all the attention, and I sense that she is a little uncomfortable with people making a fuss over her. I believe with all my heart that she does what she does out of love for fitness and a sincere desire to help people. She is not seeking to make a name for herself. Based on what I discern, she is not seeking fame or fortune. She does not market herself. Most of the members of her club still do not know who she is or that she owns the place! She is that unassuming.
When Cathe asked the Friday morning class what we were planning to do Friday afternoon, they told her that we were planning to find some clothes for me that fit! LOL! I showed Cathe and everyone there my before picture at my top weight and the shorts I was wearing in that picture. They were amazed. It is only 50 pounds, but the transformation so far is pretty remarkable. I cannot imagine what I will look like when the last 80 pounds melt away! Cathe asked me if I submitted my success story to any magazines. I gave her a crazy look and told her that I still have a good 80 pounds to go. Her comment made me realize that other people see how far I have come while I focus too much on how far I still have to go. I am really hard on myself.
Cathe is radiantly beautiful. She absolutely has the best physique I have ever seen. She is in amazing shape too. That is all superficial and not what I love about her. People do a great disservice to her when they reduce her to that because she is so much more than a strong and beautiful body. If Cathe suffered a career-ending injury and was never able to film another workout or gained weight or lost her beauty, she would still be a treasure. I would still love her. She has a true beauty that radiates from within, and she is intelligent and gracious and loving and kind. She is absolutely the kind of person I want for a friend. I do not want to focus on the superficial, but I will say that cameras do not do her justice. She is way prettier in person. Her look is not the result of make-up or lighting. She really does look that good in real life. She is also smaller than she appears to be on film. Cedie is too! Wow! All her crew members are captivating! They radiate health and life. Did I mention how warm and friendly and full of life they all are?
I was higher than a kite after my first Cathe class and glowing with energy as you will see in my first picture with her when I get those posted. I was running on something, and it was not sleep. I soared all day!
A large group of us went to Friendly’s for lunch and ice cream. I enjoyed a grilled cheese sandwich and an ice cream sundae with mint chocolate chip ice cream, Oreo cookies, hot fudge, whipped cream, and a cherry on top. Yummy!
Phyllis was my official shopping assistant Friday afternoon. She drove me to Pearle Vision to pick up my free pair of contact lenses. They gave me a new brand that feel so much better than the kind I have been wearing for years. This was a blessing in disguise. We had an hour left, and I needed capris and lifting gloves because I forgot to pack mine. Okay, I confess that I read Lorrayne’s packing list on the plane to see what I forgot and needed to buy in Jersey. LOL! I am the queen of procrastination. Note to self. If I am blessed with the opportunity to return next year, I need to take packing lessons from Lorrayne first. We went to Macy’s and found a cute pair of capris that fit beautifully! Phyllis kept bringing capris to me while I was dressing and undressing as fast as I could. The pair she found was on a clearance rack by mistake. They were on sale but not as low as she thought they were. The clerk asked if I still wanted them and I exclaimed, “Of course, I do. I do not care how much they cost. I am having a clothing crisis!” Everyone in line laughed. Phyllis and I made a quick stop across the street at Dick’s. I tore my favorite Nike lifting gloves last year and have been searching high and low for the same kind. They had one pair left in my size, and they were on sale. I was delighted! Free contacts, capris that fit, and a replacement for my favorite Nike lifting gloves in less than an hour! We had just enough time to return to the hotel and get ready for the big meet and greet.
We piled into school buses and had a wild ride with loud music to Cathe’s club. Was it my imagination, or was that driver going fast? When 105 women started filing into Cathe’s club, the guys who were working out asked what we were doing there. When we told them that we were there to meet Cathe, they asked who Cathe is. Hello! It is one thing for people in my real life to be clueless, but this still blows me away!
When we registered Friday night, the coordinators handed us a beautiful black and orange Cathe Road Trip tote bag filled with a brown and turquoise “Put Your Game Face On” tee shirt, a Cathe Road Trip towel, a Who’s Who book with bios and pictures of all the Road Trippers, a Cathe calendar, a catalog, and a Luna Bar. They rolled out the red carpet and treated us to a delicious and satisfying meal. I ate cheese and Pepperidge Farm butterfly crackers, part of a roast beef sandwich with pickles and mustard, hot roast beef, roasted potatoes, a rich brownie with chocolate fudge icing, and a sugar cookie.
I was so thrilled to finally meet Kathy (who was my other roomie) and Cheryl. Both of them encourage me daily in my Ya Yas journal. Kathy lives less than 2 hours from me. We have been talking on the phone for 2 years, and we had to fly all the way to Jersey to finally meet in person! It was such a joy to meet these precious women and give them a big hug. I was so disappointed about not meeting Dawn A. and was concerned about her when she did not register Friday night. I learned the next night that her flight was cancelled. There were a lot of travel issues with this Road Trip.
After dinner, the coordinators introduced Cathe’s crew to us. We waited and waited for Cathe. She did not want to be introduced. I think Nancy had to drag her in there. Cathe clung to Nancy and quickly made her way to the front of the room. Cathe is not about fanfare. That is one of the things about her that is so very endearing to me. After we took pictures of Cathe and the crew, Chris shared about the deal with Altus and the new iPod workouts. He gave a live demonstration and shared video clips from the recently filmed kickboxing workout. Wow! Cathe’s form is stellar. I can see why he was so excited when he wrote the blog update on that workout. By the way, Cathe used the music from the new series this weekend. It rocks!
We moved to the studio for a fitness relay race. I handed my camera to my friend Cheryl to hold while I was participating. She stood behind me the whole time and took a dozen pictures of my butt! Cynthia walked over to me after I finished my leg of the race and told me that the crew wanted to meet me. Crew? What crew? Cathe’s crew?! Oh my stars! What do they know about me? I shared my before pictures with them, and they were so encouraging. I was surprised and taken aback by the attention to my body transformation since I am still very obese. I was greatly encouraged by Brenda, Cedie, Jai,and Lorraine and had my picture taken with them. After the relay race, we ate chocolate cake and white cake for dessert and had time for hugs and autographs. I got the crew to sign my Cathe calendar. We climbed on the buses again and returned to the hotel.
Friday was an intense high for me. The roller coaster of emotions was about to get wild. First, we met in the studio for the official Cathe Road Trip group picture then kicked off the party with a kickboxing class. The step and sculpting classes she taught this weekend were less intense than her videos, but this one kicked my butt. I knew that it would. My first clue was when Cathe stood in front of the room and asked us to jump up and down and wave our arms if anyone around us went down during class. Oh my! The music was great, the energy in the room was through the roof, and I pushed myself much harder than I do at home. For one thing, I can jump higher and handle more impact on her suspended wood floor. Adding all that impact kicked up the intensity for me. Not to mention, I went from 40 days of fasting to eating all that rich and decadent food. My system was in shock. It had also been at least 6 weeks since I slept more than 4 hours a night, and I was averaging 2 hours of sleep a night all week. That class was a real test for me. I definitely had to put my game face on! Cathe had us get in a circle and run laps around the room. I am not a runner! When she told us to start running faster, I thought I would die! I think she could tell because she put her arm around my waist, ran part of the last lap with me, and said, “You are running, baby!” I replied, “Yes, but I think I saw Jesus!” I definitely walked out of that room on an endorphin high.
There was only one place to go from that highest high, and that was down. After 30 minutes of rest, it was time for the sculpting class. Cathe kicked my butt with nothing but a stability ball and a band. It was fun, but I was tired. I took a break to take pictures during pikes and levitations, which are way out of my league. I crashed and burned after my intense high during that class. I came down hard, and it was not pretty. I did not think I had enough energy to walk upstairs to the locker room. I grabbed a yoga mat, rolled it out in a dressing room, and took a nap. I skipped both of the lectures, so someone else will need to share notes from those. When I woke up from my nap, I was still too tired to think and had a mental and emotional breakdown. I lost it! I cried for an hour and hated myself for getting so fat and not being able to keep up with everyone. I am a morning glory girl all the way. I naturally crash during the afternoon, but this was more than that. I could feel a tidal wave of depression washing over me and did not think I would make it through the rest of the day. Step is my favorite workout, so I was determined not to miss the last class that day. Lorrie and Pennie came to the locker room, dusted me off, and gently encouraged me. I am so thankful for those angels. I went to lunch and thought I would feel better after eating something. I am not a big meat eater, but I do enjoy a hamburger on the grill every now and then. It tasted good but sat in my stomach like a rock. I ate a few roasted potatoes, a few bites of a soft pretzel, a few bites of leftover cake, a few bites of a sugar cookie, and a few bites of lemon Italian ice. Everything was good, but nothing really satisfied me. I knew that I was in serious trouble emotionally and mentally. Much of this journey is a mind game, and I was about to find out what I was made of.
I was so blessed by everyone’s concern for me. Thank y’all for asking about me. It was obvious by my red face that I had been crying, and I was greatly moved by all the compassion in that room. Kathy S. is another angel. I am so thankful for the tender and encouraging words she offered. This is another area that is too personal to share, but she told me exactly what I needed to hear. Kathy, your words turned me around. You made me believe that I could pull myself up out of that pit and make it through the rest of the day. The temptation to give up and call a cab was overwhelming. I love you dearly! Thanks for helping me find my game face again! I was almost certain that I was losing it completely.
After my little pep talk with Kathy S., I bought Rhythmic Step on DVD and had Cathe sign it. I got my iPod filled with praise music, my Bible, and my cell phone (so I could call my prayer partner if I needed her), and decided to walk and get back on track again. I listened to praise music and walked around the track and read my index card binder filled with my favorite Scriptures and encouraging words people have written for me through the years. I have a note in there from Beth Moore (my favorite Bible study teacher), and Cathe signed one for me Friday morning. This journey from fat to fit is long and tough, and the mental part is so much harder than the physical. Of course, I was pushing the edge physically too.
I walked into the lecture late, and Cathe pulled up a chair for me next to her. I actually walked in for a bottle of water and was not planning to stay, but I could not turn down her kind gesture. Another lady walked in a few minutes later and Cathe went and found a chair for her too even though she was perfectly content standing in the back of the room. Cathe is such a good hostess. She is so nurturing. I just know that Eric and Kyle have an amazing mother. By the way, Cathe wore shorts to lunch Saturday. She still has great legs even after her injury and surgery last year.
Cathe taught a step class similar to her Friday morning class with a few new twists. It was fun but much harder for me to follow in the afternoon. I was tired both mentally and physically. It was definitely not my best performance, but I did it! Oh, she wore my favorite outfit from the new series (the nautical one) and cute pigtails! The navy blue outfit from Lower Intensity Step is not bright like the pictures on the website where it is sold. We saw all the new outfits this weekend, and Cathe’s blog pictures are true to the actual colors. The black outfit with the yellow trim is sharp! It looks even better in real life than it does in the blog.
We returned to the hotel and got ready for dinner then drove to Adelphia’s for our fitness feast. Yummy! The setting was beautiful, and the food was delicious. We had tiny treasure chests on the table with Cathe Road Trip printed on M&Ms! We were also given an envelope with a print of the official group photo from Saturday morning! I ate a dish with pasta and veggies in an alfredo sauce. Unclean but oh so yummy! The bread with real butter was yummy too! Dessert was vanilla ice cream. Our table won the trivia contest. I knew the winning question which was Cathe’s birthday because I mailed her a card and just started the thread last month. Table 11 and Table 12, I hope y’all still love me. It sounds like y’all had fun back there. I wish I had more time to visit with everyone. Our table must have been boring because Ed brought a drunk wedding guy to our table to liven things up a bit! Jared. Single. Very cute. He stayed for dessert! He told my friend Kathy that she is hot, but she knew that he was too drunk to see straight!
I finally got to meet Dawn A. She is a beautiful and inspirational woman. Her amazing transformation story is featured in the August issue of Shape if it is still available for sale. Check it out! I had a picture taken with her as well as Tracy who held her own during her first trimester of pregnancy. I also had a “clean” picture taken with Cathe while both of us were not drenched in sweat. Ironically, the best picture that I chose for my avatar was taken Sunday morning after class when my hair was a total mess! I sat down and remembered that I still wanted to meet Cathy and Wendy from the Cheetahs check-in. They promised to come to Adelphia’s and hang out at the bar, so I walked over to the table with all the Cheetahs and asked if they had arrived yet. I was so surprised when I saw them sitting there that I had a screaming fit and almost blew their cover. Sorry! I was perfectly calm when I met Cathe. I only made a fool of myself over Cheryl and y’all! Are you feeling the love?
Speaking of Cathe, someone told her that I cried for an hour Saturday afternoon. She pulled me aside at Adelphia’s to make sure I was okay. When Dawn A. arrived after a travel nightmare, Cathe personally welcomed her to the party. She is so loving and nurturing. Did I mention that her boys are blessed to have such a wonderful mother?
When we returned to the hotel and settled down after midnight, my roomie Kim thought I was insane when I called for a 3:30 a.m. wake-up call. She called her husband and told him! I had to break it to her that our other roomie actually set the alarm for 3:00 a.m. Kathy and I are morning girls. Kim, not so much!
After grabbing a bite to eat, it was off to Cathe’s club for the final time. Sniff. Sniff. She decided to toss the high step class and do kickboxing, boot camp, and special requests instead. Fun, fun, fun. And glory to God, I did not touch a weight all weekend! This cardio lover was thrilled! I love Cathe’s high step and circuit workouts, but I could not imagine doing leg presses as tired as I was. The class was over way too fast. Cathe dimmed the lights and led us through a nice soothing stretch. There was no time for me to shower. I quickly changed clothes and headed to the Five Points Diner for a plate of pancakes. It was a big plate too. I was sure it was for the whole table when I saw it! I wish I had been sitting closer to Cathe to see how much of that meal she ate. I cannot imagine her eating this kind of food and looking like she does! Speaking of Cathe, she stopped and visited with us when she arrived at the diner. I had always wondered if she was a cheerleader in high school. She was on the dance/drill team. I knew it! With her personality, she just had to be! I can totally see her dancing around with pom poms!
I got to share breakfast with Laura from Africa and took more pictures. I am sad that I did not get pictures of everyone. I am hoping that Cynthia covered me in that area! I spent most of my time hugging and talking to people. I did take well over 200 pictures. I need to crop and correct redeye and all that good stuff before I post them. They are likely repeats of what has already been shared. I am still trying to decide if I am bold enough to post my before pictures in my PictureTrail. They are bad, bad, bad.
I did get a good picture with Cathe before I started crying. See my avatar. I also got her to sign my Cathe calendar. Before I knew what hit me, it was all over but the crying. And cry I did. I think I was the only one crying, but that is okay. Michelle got teary-eyed on the way out the door and got me started. Once the tears started flowing, it was all over for me. I wanted to take Cathe and these precious women home with me. I felt like I had all these sisters that I did not want to leave behind. I have never been so loved in all my life. This is why I praise God for blessing me with the opportunity to attend this Road Trip before I reached my goal weight. If I had lost all this weight first, I would have thought like I always have that people only love me when I am thin. Okay, I am crying again. Y’all love me now. You treat me with respect now. I know from experience that there are people who will start being nicer to me when as I get closer to my goal weight. Dawn A. shared a similar experience, so it is not just me. God knew that I needed to experience being loved at this weight. He did such a healing work in my heart this weekend, and so many of you were His vessels of love and grace. Yes, I felt like I had been to church when I left that place. Instead of striving for love and acceptance, I can rest in the truth that I am loved and simply enjoy the rest of this amazing journey.
I hope and pray that Cathe is able to host more than one Road Trip next year. I want to return and will cry if I am not able to do so. I also want everyone who has not experienced this to have a opportunity to go, and I am still disappointed about not meeting Shelley and Kathryn and others this year and hope I can attend the same Road Trip they do. I am trusting God to work it all out.
Cathe, I am not sure if you will read this, but I want you to know that your sweet smiles and gentle words of encouragement carried me through those classes when I did not think I had the strength to take one more step. Thank you for being such an inspiration every day and such a gracious hostess for us this weekend.
Chris, thank you for all your hard work and for answering all my business and technical questions this weekend.
Nancy, thank you for welcoming me to the studio Friday morning and helping me get some new contacts so I could see!
Debbie, Kathy, and Lorrayne, thank you for going above and beyond the call of duty and making this a weekend to remember and cherish forever. Your hard work produced eternal fruit in me. I wrote this in the Road Trip forum on July 9, 2007: “This Road Trip for me is about stepping way out of my comfort zone and facing my insecurities and fears. It may turn out to be a healing experience for me. I just know in my heart that there is a greater purpose for me being there than simply enjoying a few live workouts.” Wow! I had no idea how prophetic that would be. Love and big Texas hugs to all of you.
Cathe and my beloved Road Trip sisters, y’all have captured my heart. I love you more than words can say! By the grace of God, I will finish this race and reach my goal weight. And I want you to know that each of you owns a little piece my future success. I will hold the memories of this weekend in my heart always. I experienced more healing in 48 hours than I have in years of counseling. Thank you for loving me. You are gifts from God, and I pray that He will bless you beyond measure. I am speechless and do not know what else to say. I feel a tremendous release, so I think I can stop writing now. It just dawned on me that I have been sitting at this computer for 10 hours without a break. I have not stopped to eat or go to the bathroom. I have not unpacked my bags or even washed my face or brushed my teeth. I am so hungry! As soon as I post this, my friend Rebecca is going to Cracker Barrel with me for dinner. I cannot wait to share all the details about this weekend with her. I ate a Krispy Kreme donut at the airport in Dallas yesterday. I am getting Cracker Barrel out of my system tonight. I am not sure what I will eat tomorrow because I did not get to the grocery store today, but I need to get back on track with clean eating until my birthday later this month.
Glory! I dropped 3 pounds in Catheland! Praise God for live Cathe workouts and yummy food! Eating like that and coming home lighter is a first for me!
Now I need to copy this to my personal journal and add all the details that were too personal to share publically. Can you imagine?! LOL! Do I win the prize for the longest post in forum history?
P.S. Coordinators, this thread is payback for the Who’s Who word limit. LOL!
Blessings,
Heather B.
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV).
This is the morning after the long-awaited Cathe Road Trip at 8:00 a.m., and I am still basking in the afterglow and feeling overwhelmed with emotion. There are no words to adequately convey the glory of this amazing experience, but I simply must try because my heart is so full that it will burst if I do not start writing. This was a life-changing weekend for me, and I will never be the same. My heart was bathed in love, and my body was baptized in sweat and tears. I was not expecting this to be such an intense spiritual experience, but it was. I left that place Sunday feeling like I had been to church. I have never been so loved. So much of my experience is too intensely personal to discuss in a public forum. I am not free to share everything, but I am praying that God will help me find the words to express what is in my heart.
I have battled deep insecurity all my life. While I am breaking free, insecurity is still a stronghold in my life. I wrote a long message about my lifelong battles with food and my weight in June, so I will not recount all that again.
I experienced Cathe’s workouts for the first time shortly before the 2005 Road Trip. I started dreaming about attending the next one. I was hoping to get in shape first and have this weekend be a celebration of reaching my goal weight and size. That was my plan. God had a greater plan. Looking back, I can testify that I am so glad I had the blessed opportunity to attend the Road Trip at this size.
My parents divorced when I was a baby, and being abandoned by my father left me feeling rejected and insecure. I was surrounded by many people who valued physical beauty above all else. The message I received from childhood on was loud and clear: if you want to be loved, you need to be thin and beautiful. All I have ever wanted is to be loved. I was willing to die for it. My desperate need for unconditional love coupled with intense insecurity ushered so much hell and devastation in my life and led me straight to the pit time and time again. I got on the dieting roller coaster when I was 9 years old, battled anorexia in high school and weighed 88 pounds when I graduated, binged and purged with laxatives and diuretics in college, gave up in despair and binged my way up to 260 pounds in my 20s, starved off 111 pounds with no exercise in my late 20s, went through a season of personal hell, regained every ounce, and ended up at 260 pounds again. I joined a fitness club, exercised like crazy, and dropped 50 pounds in 6 weeks. I lost my beloved grandpa to cancer, went through a season of intense grief and was not able to keep exercising 3 hours a day, regained every ounce of that weight, and topped out at 260 pounds for the third and last time.
I finally gave up in a good way. I surrendered control to God. I started my fitness journey on July 4, 2003, at 260 pounds in women's size 28 shorts. I wrote a letter to the Lord surrendering food and my weight to Him, tied it to balloons, and released it. Even though I have done some emotional eating, I have been binge free since that day by the grace of God. No more extreme diets for me. No matter how many years it takes to reach my goal, I want to do it in a way that blesses my body this time. I walked by faith and was delivered from 80 pounds in 9 months. I had a childlike faith, and my plan was simple. I ate for the glory of God and exercised as an act of worship. I simply ate less and moved more. Then I joined the FIRM Ya Yas in the spring of 2005. I was searching for intense and fun home workouts that would leave me drenched in sweat and begging for mercy. They affirmed that I would love Cathe, and I do. I started collecting Cathe’s workouts and reading her forums and finally found the courage to join and start writing during her injury because I wanted to encourage her. I felt very insecure about joining. When I read negative comments about Cedie’s size and even comments about Cathe herself, it made me wonder what on earth people would think about me. Cedie is not fat by any stretch of the imagination, and Cathe is most definitely not bulky. Cathe and her crew are some of the fittest and most beautiful women I have ever met.
These forums have been a tremendous blessing to me, and I am so grateful. Certain threads arise from time to time that cause me to feel like someone has taken a giant spoon and stirred up all those old insecurities that are still in me. This is actually a good thing. God does not want me to live in bondage, and the stuff needs to be stirred to the surface so it can be skimmed off.
I prayed when Cathe announced the Road Trip and knew that God wanted me to go and that He had a greater purpose for me than simply enjoying a few fun workouts. I could not have dreamed or imagined what this weekend would be like. It far exceeded my wildest imaginations, touched me in my feelings, rocked me my world, and changed me forever.
I will confess that I was still hoping to get in shape and get as close to my goal weight at possible before the Road Trip. I flirted with gaining and losing the same 10 pounds through the end of June. My focus shifted in July. I started Beth Moore’s Daniel Bible study and a 40-day Daniel fast on the July 1. I bought a pair of size 22 capris that were tight on me. At that point in the journey, I knew that it was not realistic or possible to even get down below 200 pounds before the Road Trip apart from divine intervention. I fasted, prayed, feasted on my Bible study, cried and prayed through sleepless nights, and started getting my game face on spiritually so I could face Cathe and all the Road Trippers at that size. For 40 days, I did not eat any meat, dairy products, eggs, white rice and white flour, sugar, artificial sweeteners, caffeine (including coffee and tea and chocolate), carbonated drinks, processed food with preservatives and additives, convenience food, fried food, high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oil, and extracted fat. This was not about weight loss. My goal was to break free from food-related strongholds. I ate plenty of fresh fruit, organic orange juice, veggies, unsalted nuts, and organic pinto beans. I was not expecting to shed any weight because my calories were high. My body was craving protein like crazy, and I was hungry all the time no matter how much I ate. My heart was breaking for someone I love, I was very emotional, I did not have the energy with this way of eating to properly fuel my workouts, I lost upper body strength, and my overall endurance and stamina definitely decreased.
I shared in my monthly update that July was an intense and emotional month for me. I spent over a week of sleepless and tear-filled nights down on my knees in prayer. I was blessed with a precious private message that was a gift from God. I carried it around with me and cried over it for days. The heartfelt words touched me in my feelings, and God worked through this message to start healing a deep wound in my heart and help me see myself the way He sees me. I am not perfect. I have lost countless battles with my weight, but I am not a failure. I am strong, healthy, beautiful, and intelligent. I am loving, kind, and genuine. I desperately needed the reminder that my heart is what really matters. When all is said and done and this life is over, it will not matter what size earth suit I wore. Little did I know that this message was just the beginning. I would soon be overwhelmed with amazing love in person!
The size 22 capris that I bought for the Road Trip were big on me by the end of the July. I went shopping every night after work and spent hours searching for clothes that fit with no success. It was unbelievable. After struggling for months and spinning my wheels, the weight finally start melting away when I finally stopped striving and shifted my focus to the spiritual. After walking through every store in town and finding nothing that fit and coming home late every night with tired and aching feet, I decided to shrink my capris and make them work for me. Let me just say that this was not one of my better plans. You will soon know why.
My last workout was Body Max 2 the Saturday before the Road Trip, and I knew that I was in trouble. I had to rest after every segment. The Daniel fast, intense emotions, and sleepless nights were wiping me out. For the first time, I started getting concerned about how I would physically endure so many Cathe workouts in one weekend. The last weekend before the Road Trip was stressful and busy as I rushed around getting ready for my trip.
I was hoping to get a good night of sleep before getting on the plane Thursday morning. That so did not happen. I bought gifts for Cathe, Chris, Nancy, and our beloved coordinators and did not consider how I would pack these. My prayer partner came over and prayed for me, Cathe, and all the Road Trippers while I was trying to pack. She gazed at everything on my bed and on the floor and wondered how on earth I was planning to fit it all in my bags. I needed a miracle! I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. doing the suitcase shuffle and finally made it work. I only had room for one pair of workout shoes, so I packed my Ryka Intensity XT cross training shoes and had to leave behind all my Nike Shox. Cathe’s gift was more important, so it was a small sacrifice. (But I have to confess that I was coveting her Nike Shox all weekend!)
I had a hard time moving when my alarm went off at 3:30 a.m. I did not really sleep that night. No, I would say that 90 minutes is more like a nap. I had just enough time to take a shower and wash and dry my hair. My eyes were killing me because my contacts had been in for 24 hours. It was also time for a fresh pair, but I did not have time to change them because I would miss my plane if I did not leave right away. I put the new pair in a bag in my checked bag. My quart-size bag for my carry-on had all my make-up and a small bottle of hair spray so I could finish getting ready at the airport since I was running late. I did not have room for my contacts in there, and I thought they would be safe in my checked bag. I would soon discover that I was wrong.
I loaded my bags in the trunk of my car and rushed to the airport just in time to check-in before boarding. The only parking space I could find was far from the terminal. I knew that I would need to run to make it. Then one of the wheels on my checked bag fell off. I had to carry it, and that bag was heavy. I have a lot of hair care products. Just ask my Road Trip roomies about my Texas hair! In addition to the checked bag, I had a large carry-on suitcase and a tote bag as well as a small purse. Running across the parking lot with all those bags, my capris fell down. Literally! I was so glad I bought new undies that matched my top! If you are going to show your butt to everyone at the airport, you do not want your undies to clash with your top!
As soon as I checked in and dropped off my checked bag, I had a free hand to hold up my capris. I was expecting the rest of my trip to be uneventful. I got flagged for extra security checks. Not only did I have to get patted down, but my bags that I so lovingly packed until 2:00 a.m. were torn apart. The security agent was in awe when she saw how much stuff was in my tote bag. When she got to the bottom of the bag, she pulled out one of Cathe’s gifts and told me that it is what looked like a weapon on the x-ray machine. The woman handed it to me and informed me that I would need to pack everything again because fitting that much stuff in there was beyond her packing ability. Great!
Thankfully, my flight to Dallas was smooth and uneventful. I had time to fix my hair and make-up. I made a call to one of my Road Trip roomies with my first ever cell phone that I just bought. I was so glad I got one because I definitely needed it this weekend. When I stood up, someone I have never met called my name. It was Gin from the Road Trip check-in, and Jean soon joined us. It was comforting to know that they were on the same flight with me. This whole trip was a leap of faith for me. I was stepping way out of my comfort zone, and I was blessed to have Jean with me after meeting her in June. I love to travel but not alone!
Gayle picked us up at the airport, which was a tremendous blessing. I am not familiar with that part of the country, and I was not looking forward to finding my way around the airport and figuring out how to find Rapid Rover. Gayle is incredibly warm and friendly. I immediately bonded with her and felt comfortable in her presence. The instant connection is one of the things that amazed me the most this entire weekend. Gayle is very fit and strong. She carried my heaviest bag for me. That was nice. She made me walk up several flights of stairs in a hot parking garage carrying my other bags with my capris falling down again. That was not nice! (I still love you, Gayle!)
After checking in at the hotel and getting settled in our rooms, we scouted out the restaurant next door and decided that it would be good for dinner. The Fairfield Inn was lovely by the way. My room was super clean, it smelled like potpourri, and the bed was so comfortable. This is likely the nicest hotel I have ever visited. Cathe and our beloved coordinators, good job on this pick!
Gayle and Jean and I went to Wendy’s for lunch so I could order a plain baked potato then met Amy and drove to Cathe’s club to check it out. I have to be honest. I was not impressed initially. It is full of an amazing array of weight machines, but y’all know that I am not wild about weight training in general or machines of any kind. I could not imagine what anyone would need with all those machines. LOL! When the building was full of Cathe and the Road Trippers the next day, my opinion changed dramatically! I am such a people person. Empty buildings do not make my heart smile. I love buildings that are full of life and fun! People make the places special to me. I have a love for Jersey because of who lives there! I will say that this club is immaculate. I have never been to a club that is so clean. The private dressing rooms are a classy touch as well. It is definitely a nice club, but this cardio queen did not fall in love with the place until Cathe’s class the next morning! We met Ed, Cathe’s maintenance guy. He took us into the studio and took a picture of us. That studio is hot, hot, hot. I cannot imagine how they film those workouts without passing out, and they did not even have all the studio lights on when we were there!
We returned to our hotel rooms for a nap. I could not sleep. I was feeling homesick and nervous about the whole experience. A tidal wave of doubt and insecurity washed over me. I started wondering if I would be disappointed after all the months of anticipation. Would this live up to all my expectations? Would I be able to keep up with all these workouts? Was I crazy for being here? I am an extrovert, so I was fine as soon as other Road Trippers started arriving. My greatest times of insecurity hit when I am alone with my swirling thoughts.
A group of early birds went to dinner at Uno’s Thursday night. It was the 40th day of my fast, so I could not eat anything good until midnight. I enjoyed a few bites of steamed broccoli and ordered a small cheese pizza to take back to my hotel room with me. We had such a good time. Pennie, I love you. Thank you for loving me lavishly and sharing so many kind words. I hope you start posting more! We need more Texas girls around here!
We had an informal gathering in the hotel lobby after dinner. Allison walked in, and I introduced myself as Heather. She blew me away when she joyfully responded, “The Heather?! BelovedHeather!” I was not expecting to meet many people on this trip who knew anything about me other than a few check-in friends. I got this reaction over and over all weekend. People lavished me with love and told me how blessed they are by my posts and what an inspiration I am to them. Me?! An inspiration?! I often feel like such a failure because I struggle with my weight and am only 50 pounds below my top weight after 4 years of this journey! Allison pulled Tracey Staehle out of bed in her pajamas and brought her to the lobby to meet me. She is so nice. Tracey’s passion for fitness is obvious, and I can tell that she genuinely loves helping people. (By the way, I own more workout shoes than Tracey does!) We had such a blast in that hotel lobby. Every time a new Road Tripper walked in the front door, we laughed and had a fit of delight and asked the front desk clerk to take another group picture with one more camera this time! What a sweet guy he was!
I am not a drinker, but I returned to Uno’s with Pennie and Amy and visited with them while they enjoyed a relaxing glass of wine before bedtime. We were all too excited to sleep! We were like kids on Christmas Eve.
I faithfully completed my fast and enjoyed a midnight snack of cheese pizza. Yummy! One of my roomies, Kim, arrived Thursday night. I asked her if it would be okay for me to walk down to the dining room in my pajamas to use the microwave oven. She laughed and told me that I should have read Lorrayne’s packing list, and I would have known to bring a robe. I did not have room for one! I did not have room for all the outfits I wanted to bring (or my beloved Nike Shox)! She handed me a small quilt that on was on the end of the bed and wrapped it around me like a shawl. Down to the lobby I went wrapped in the bed covering and prayed fervently that no Road Trippers would be wandering around in the hall with a camera! Thankfully, everyone was in bed after midnight! The pizza was yummy! Cheese is my favorite food, and it was divine after 40 days of fruit, nuts, and pinto beans! I finally settled down at 2:00 a.m. and woke up at 4:00 a.m. to wash and dry my hair. Yes, it takes me a long time to fix this Texas hair. My Road Trip roomies were amazed!
I had a little crisis Friday morning. I opened my checked bag and found a note that the TSA has searched my bag. My brand new contacts were tossed out in the process. I was so upset! My eyes were killing me, and I do not like to wear my glasses during workouts. Kim and I unpacked all my bags and searched high and low for those things to no avail. I decided to suffer through the day with my old pair.
Friday morning, Kathy G. met us at the hotel. After enjoying a yummy blueberry muffin and a boiled egg for breakfast, we drove to Cathe’s club for her Friday morning step class. I walked into the studio, and Nancy from customer service greeted me by name. I was surprised! She told me that she recognized my picture from the Who’s Who book. I put my step front and center behind Cathe. That is Nancy’s spot, but she graciously allowed me to take her place! I am easily distracted, so I am a front and center girl when I take live classes at home. On top of that, I did not want to miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to enjoy Cathe’s step choreography that close to her! I was a little nervous about making a fool of myself. I am generally good with her step choreography, but I do have a rewind button at home! There was no reason to worry. Cathe is an excellent teacher, and her cuing is stellar.
Cedie walked in, and everyone went nuts. We really scared her! You should have seen the look on her face! Actually, I have pictures to share as soon as I have time to upload them to my PictureTrail. Cathe walked in, and the energy in the room intensified. She is so inspiring. Just being in her presence was worth the trip to Jersey. She is passionate, fun, and friendly. I love her personality on videos, but she is so much more fun in person when she can relax and be completely free. I love the way she interacts with people during her live classes. Meeting Cathe for the first time and enjoying her Friday morning step class was the highlight of the whole weekend for me. She taught a dancy step class that was fast-paced and extremely fun. She cues exceptionally well. In a live class, she can tell when people are struggling and need more practice with a move before adding the next one. Cathe is very attentive and professional. For those who are curious, she watches us in the mirror instead of mirror cuing. Most non-video instructors teach that way in person now. It is actually easier to follow complex choreography when you are behind an instructor facing the same direction. Cathe is very good at what she does, and she was easy to follow even though many of the moves were new. She is great about showing modifications too. She surprised me when she called me by name during the class and made a cute comment about the spin I added to her mambos. I love to spin and turn, and I intuitively add pivots and turns to moves. I did not even realize I did something different until she said something about it! Rhythmic Step is one of my favorite workouts, and it is hard for me to do the base moves without the pivots or spins. Oh, how fun it was to enjoy Cathe’s dancy choreography on a wood floor! I want that floor! It is so bouncy! I was amazed at what I could do on that floor!
I have been telling Cathe for months that I was waiting to give her a big Texas hug. She also knew that I was feeling insecure about this whole experience at my size. During the first water break, she walked over to me and told me that she was ready for a big hug, and she personally encouraged me. I was so blessed and touched that she would do that. Cathe is so genuine and sweet. She is very warm and friendly and super encouraging. She does not act like a celebrity, and she is not impressed with herself. She is very gracious and humble. I can testify that she is who she represents herself to be on video and so much more.
During the cool-down, Cathe had us do basic steps while she previewed the choreography for one of the new workouts. I am really looking forward to these new workouts. That is all I am free to share on this subject. Everyone needs to see these DVDS or at least the video clips before judging them, so I am going to honor Cathe by not attempting to describe them.
After class, Cathe led us to another room so the next class could get started, and she visited with us and hugged us and took pictures with us and signed things for 2 hours. There were 20 of us (including the coordinators) in her Friday morning class, and it was fun to share some more “intimate” time with her in a smaller group. Cathe is a very private person, and I will respect her privacy by not disclosing details of personal conversations. I will say that she is very open and honest in her responses to questions. She has the gift of hospitality too. She knows how to make everyone feel special, loved, comfortable, and right at home. She blessed me with warm hugs and encouragement, and I had a nice conversation with her. When I told her about my contacts, she promised that they would take care of me even if they had to drive me to Pearle Vision. (Nancy in customer service took care of me, and the place she referred me to blessed me with a free pair of contacts later that day!) That was another amazing thing about this weekend. It was like one big family. When a Road Tripper needed clothes and shoes to wear because her luggage was lost, people provided for her. Everyone was so loved and cared for, and I personally felt safe, secure, and at home the whole time.
Cathe is so friendly and lovable. She is not hard to talk to at all. Being with her feels like being with a good friend. I will not share most of her responses to my questions, but I am confident that Cathe would be okay with me sharing one thing. I asked her how she stays so humble when so many people adore her. She told me that she does not think she is all that and is not impressed with herself because she loves people and believes all people bring special gifts to this world. Cathe is just being herself and doing what she does best. She is actually a little “shy” about all the attention, and I sense that she is a little uncomfortable with people making a fuss over her. I believe with all my heart that she does what she does out of love for fitness and a sincere desire to help people. She is not seeking to make a name for herself. Based on what I discern, she is not seeking fame or fortune. She does not market herself. Most of the members of her club still do not know who she is or that she owns the place! She is that unassuming.
When Cathe asked the Friday morning class what we were planning to do Friday afternoon, they told her that we were planning to find some clothes for me that fit! LOL! I showed Cathe and everyone there my before picture at my top weight and the shorts I was wearing in that picture. They were amazed. It is only 50 pounds, but the transformation so far is pretty remarkable. I cannot imagine what I will look like when the last 80 pounds melt away! Cathe asked me if I submitted my success story to any magazines. I gave her a crazy look and told her that I still have a good 80 pounds to go. Her comment made me realize that other people see how far I have come while I focus too much on how far I still have to go. I am really hard on myself.
Cathe is radiantly beautiful. She absolutely has the best physique I have ever seen. She is in amazing shape too. That is all superficial and not what I love about her. People do a great disservice to her when they reduce her to that because she is so much more than a strong and beautiful body. If Cathe suffered a career-ending injury and was never able to film another workout or gained weight or lost her beauty, she would still be a treasure. I would still love her. She has a true beauty that radiates from within, and she is intelligent and gracious and loving and kind. She is absolutely the kind of person I want for a friend. I do not want to focus on the superficial, but I will say that cameras do not do her justice. She is way prettier in person. Her look is not the result of make-up or lighting. She really does look that good in real life. She is also smaller than she appears to be on film. Cedie is too! Wow! All her crew members are captivating! They radiate health and life. Did I mention how warm and friendly and full of life they all are?
I was higher than a kite after my first Cathe class and glowing with energy as you will see in my first picture with her when I get those posted. I was running on something, and it was not sleep. I soared all day!
A large group of us went to Friendly’s for lunch and ice cream. I enjoyed a grilled cheese sandwich and an ice cream sundae with mint chocolate chip ice cream, Oreo cookies, hot fudge, whipped cream, and a cherry on top. Yummy!
Phyllis was my official shopping assistant Friday afternoon. She drove me to Pearle Vision to pick up my free pair of contact lenses. They gave me a new brand that feel so much better than the kind I have been wearing for years. This was a blessing in disguise. We had an hour left, and I needed capris and lifting gloves because I forgot to pack mine. Okay, I confess that I read Lorrayne’s packing list on the plane to see what I forgot and needed to buy in Jersey. LOL! I am the queen of procrastination. Note to self. If I am blessed with the opportunity to return next year, I need to take packing lessons from Lorrayne first. We went to Macy’s and found a cute pair of capris that fit beautifully! Phyllis kept bringing capris to me while I was dressing and undressing as fast as I could. The pair she found was on a clearance rack by mistake. They were on sale but not as low as she thought they were. The clerk asked if I still wanted them and I exclaimed, “Of course, I do. I do not care how much they cost. I am having a clothing crisis!” Everyone in line laughed. Phyllis and I made a quick stop across the street at Dick’s. I tore my favorite Nike lifting gloves last year and have been searching high and low for the same kind. They had one pair left in my size, and they were on sale. I was delighted! Free contacts, capris that fit, and a replacement for my favorite Nike lifting gloves in less than an hour! We had just enough time to return to the hotel and get ready for the big meet and greet.
We piled into school buses and had a wild ride with loud music to Cathe’s club. Was it my imagination, or was that driver going fast? When 105 women started filing into Cathe’s club, the guys who were working out asked what we were doing there. When we told them that we were there to meet Cathe, they asked who Cathe is. Hello! It is one thing for people in my real life to be clueless, but this still blows me away!
When we registered Friday night, the coordinators handed us a beautiful black and orange Cathe Road Trip tote bag filled with a brown and turquoise “Put Your Game Face On” tee shirt, a Cathe Road Trip towel, a Who’s Who book with bios and pictures of all the Road Trippers, a Cathe calendar, a catalog, and a Luna Bar. They rolled out the red carpet and treated us to a delicious and satisfying meal. I ate cheese and Pepperidge Farm butterfly crackers, part of a roast beef sandwich with pickles and mustard, hot roast beef, roasted potatoes, a rich brownie with chocolate fudge icing, and a sugar cookie.
I was so thrilled to finally meet Kathy (who was my other roomie) and Cheryl. Both of them encourage me daily in my Ya Yas journal. Kathy lives less than 2 hours from me. We have been talking on the phone for 2 years, and we had to fly all the way to Jersey to finally meet in person! It was such a joy to meet these precious women and give them a big hug. I was so disappointed about not meeting Dawn A. and was concerned about her when she did not register Friday night. I learned the next night that her flight was cancelled. There were a lot of travel issues with this Road Trip.
After dinner, the coordinators introduced Cathe’s crew to us. We waited and waited for Cathe. She did not want to be introduced. I think Nancy had to drag her in there. Cathe clung to Nancy and quickly made her way to the front of the room. Cathe is not about fanfare. That is one of the things about her that is so very endearing to me. After we took pictures of Cathe and the crew, Chris shared about the deal with Altus and the new iPod workouts. He gave a live demonstration and shared video clips from the recently filmed kickboxing workout. Wow! Cathe’s form is stellar. I can see why he was so excited when he wrote the blog update on that workout. By the way, Cathe used the music from the new series this weekend. It rocks!
We moved to the studio for a fitness relay race. I handed my camera to my friend Cheryl to hold while I was participating. She stood behind me the whole time and took a dozen pictures of my butt! Cynthia walked over to me after I finished my leg of the race and told me that the crew wanted to meet me. Crew? What crew? Cathe’s crew?! Oh my stars! What do they know about me? I shared my before pictures with them, and they were so encouraging. I was surprised and taken aback by the attention to my body transformation since I am still very obese. I was greatly encouraged by Brenda, Cedie, Jai,and Lorraine and had my picture taken with them. After the relay race, we ate chocolate cake and white cake for dessert and had time for hugs and autographs. I got the crew to sign my Cathe calendar. We climbed on the buses again and returned to the hotel.
Friday was an intense high for me. The roller coaster of emotions was about to get wild. First, we met in the studio for the official Cathe Road Trip group picture then kicked off the party with a kickboxing class. The step and sculpting classes she taught this weekend were less intense than her videos, but this one kicked my butt. I knew that it would. My first clue was when Cathe stood in front of the room and asked us to jump up and down and wave our arms if anyone around us went down during class. Oh my! The music was great, the energy in the room was through the roof, and I pushed myself much harder than I do at home. For one thing, I can jump higher and handle more impact on her suspended wood floor. Adding all that impact kicked up the intensity for me. Not to mention, I went from 40 days of fasting to eating all that rich and decadent food. My system was in shock. It had also been at least 6 weeks since I slept more than 4 hours a night, and I was averaging 2 hours of sleep a night all week. That class was a real test for me. I definitely had to put my game face on! Cathe had us get in a circle and run laps around the room. I am not a runner! When she told us to start running faster, I thought I would die! I think she could tell because she put her arm around my waist, ran part of the last lap with me, and said, “You are running, baby!” I replied, “Yes, but I think I saw Jesus!” I definitely walked out of that room on an endorphin high.
There was only one place to go from that highest high, and that was down. After 30 minutes of rest, it was time for the sculpting class. Cathe kicked my butt with nothing but a stability ball and a band. It was fun, but I was tired. I took a break to take pictures during pikes and levitations, which are way out of my league. I crashed and burned after my intense high during that class. I came down hard, and it was not pretty. I did not think I had enough energy to walk upstairs to the locker room. I grabbed a yoga mat, rolled it out in a dressing room, and took a nap. I skipped both of the lectures, so someone else will need to share notes from those. When I woke up from my nap, I was still too tired to think and had a mental and emotional breakdown. I lost it! I cried for an hour and hated myself for getting so fat and not being able to keep up with everyone. I am a morning glory girl all the way. I naturally crash during the afternoon, but this was more than that. I could feel a tidal wave of depression washing over me and did not think I would make it through the rest of the day. Step is my favorite workout, so I was determined not to miss the last class that day. Lorrie and Pennie came to the locker room, dusted me off, and gently encouraged me. I am so thankful for those angels. I went to lunch and thought I would feel better after eating something. I am not a big meat eater, but I do enjoy a hamburger on the grill every now and then. It tasted good but sat in my stomach like a rock. I ate a few roasted potatoes, a few bites of a soft pretzel, a few bites of leftover cake, a few bites of a sugar cookie, and a few bites of lemon Italian ice. Everything was good, but nothing really satisfied me. I knew that I was in serious trouble emotionally and mentally. Much of this journey is a mind game, and I was about to find out what I was made of.
I was so blessed by everyone’s concern for me. Thank y’all for asking about me. It was obvious by my red face that I had been crying, and I was greatly moved by all the compassion in that room. Kathy S. is another angel. I am so thankful for the tender and encouraging words she offered. This is another area that is too personal to share, but she told me exactly what I needed to hear. Kathy, your words turned me around. You made me believe that I could pull myself up out of that pit and make it through the rest of the day. The temptation to give up and call a cab was overwhelming. I love you dearly! Thanks for helping me find my game face again! I was almost certain that I was losing it completely.
After my little pep talk with Kathy S., I bought Rhythmic Step on DVD and had Cathe sign it. I got my iPod filled with praise music, my Bible, and my cell phone (so I could call my prayer partner if I needed her), and decided to walk and get back on track again. I listened to praise music and walked around the track and read my index card binder filled with my favorite Scriptures and encouraging words people have written for me through the years. I have a note in there from Beth Moore (my favorite Bible study teacher), and Cathe signed one for me Friday morning. This journey from fat to fit is long and tough, and the mental part is so much harder than the physical. Of course, I was pushing the edge physically too.
I walked into the lecture late, and Cathe pulled up a chair for me next to her. I actually walked in for a bottle of water and was not planning to stay, but I could not turn down her kind gesture. Another lady walked in a few minutes later and Cathe went and found a chair for her too even though she was perfectly content standing in the back of the room. Cathe is such a good hostess. She is so nurturing. I just know that Eric and Kyle have an amazing mother. By the way, Cathe wore shorts to lunch Saturday. She still has great legs even after her injury and surgery last year.
Cathe taught a step class similar to her Friday morning class with a few new twists. It was fun but much harder for me to follow in the afternoon. I was tired both mentally and physically. It was definitely not my best performance, but I did it! Oh, she wore my favorite outfit from the new series (the nautical one) and cute pigtails! The navy blue outfit from Lower Intensity Step is not bright like the pictures on the website where it is sold. We saw all the new outfits this weekend, and Cathe’s blog pictures are true to the actual colors. The black outfit with the yellow trim is sharp! It looks even better in real life than it does in the blog.
We returned to the hotel and got ready for dinner then drove to Adelphia’s for our fitness feast. Yummy! The setting was beautiful, and the food was delicious. We had tiny treasure chests on the table with Cathe Road Trip printed on M&Ms! We were also given an envelope with a print of the official group photo from Saturday morning! I ate a dish with pasta and veggies in an alfredo sauce. Unclean but oh so yummy! The bread with real butter was yummy too! Dessert was vanilla ice cream. Our table won the trivia contest. I knew the winning question which was Cathe’s birthday because I mailed her a card and just started the thread last month. Table 11 and Table 12, I hope y’all still love me. It sounds like y’all had fun back there. I wish I had more time to visit with everyone. Our table must have been boring because Ed brought a drunk wedding guy to our table to liven things up a bit! Jared. Single. Very cute. He stayed for dessert! He told my friend Kathy that she is hot, but she knew that he was too drunk to see straight!
I finally got to meet Dawn A. She is a beautiful and inspirational woman. Her amazing transformation story is featured in the August issue of Shape if it is still available for sale. Check it out! I had a picture taken with her as well as Tracy who held her own during her first trimester of pregnancy. I also had a “clean” picture taken with Cathe while both of us were not drenched in sweat. Ironically, the best picture that I chose for my avatar was taken Sunday morning after class when my hair was a total mess! I sat down and remembered that I still wanted to meet Cathy and Wendy from the Cheetahs check-in. They promised to come to Adelphia’s and hang out at the bar, so I walked over to the table with all the Cheetahs and asked if they had arrived yet. I was so surprised when I saw them sitting there that I had a screaming fit and almost blew their cover. Sorry! I was perfectly calm when I met Cathe. I only made a fool of myself over Cheryl and y’all! Are you feeling the love?
Speaking of Cathe, someone told her that I cried for an hour Saturday afternoon. She pulled me aside at Adelphia’s to make sure I was okay. When Dawn A. arrived after a travel nightmare, Cathe personally welcomed her to the party. She is so loving and nurturing. Did I mention that her boys are blessed to have such a wonderful mother?
When we returned to the hotel and settled down after midnight, my roomie Kim thought I was insane when I called for a 3:30 a.m. wake-up call. She called her husband and told him! I had to break it to her that our other roomie actually set the alarm for 3:00 a.m. Kathy and I are morning girls. Kim, not so much!
After grabbing a bite to eat, it was off to Cathe’s club for the final time. Sniff. Sniff. She decided to toss the high step class and do kickboxing, boot camp, and special requests instead. Fun, fun, fun. And glory to God, I did not touch a weight all weekend! This cardio lover was thrilled! I love Cathe’s high step and circuit workouts, but I could not imagine doing leg presses as tired as I was. The class was over way too fast. Cathe dimmed the lights and led us through a nice soothing stretch. There was no time for me to shower. I quickly changed clothes and headed to the Five Points Diner for a plate of pancakes. It was a big plate too. I was sure it was for the whole table when I saw it! I wish I had been sitting closer to Cathe to see how much of that meal she ate. I cannot imagine her eating this kind of food and looking like she does! Speaking of Cathe, she stopped and visited with us when she arrived at the diner. I had always wondered if she was a cheerleader in high school. She was on the dance/drill team. I knew it! With her personality, she just had to be! I can totally see her dancing around with pom poms!
I got to share breakfast with Laura from Africa and took more pictures. I am sad that I did not get pictures of everyone. I am hoping that Cynthia covered me in that area! I spent most of my time hugging and talking to people. I did take well over 200 pictures. I need to crop and correct redeye and all that good stuff before I post them. They are likely repeats of what has already been shared. I am still trying to decide if I am bold enough to post my before pictures in my PictureTrail. They are bad, bad, bad.
I did get a good picture with Cathe before I started crying. See my avatar. I also got her to sign my Cathe calendar. Before I knew what hit me, it was all over but the crying. And cry I did. I think I was the only one crying, but that is okay. Michelle got teary-eyed on the way out the door and got me started. Once the tears started flowing, it was all over for me. I wanted to take Cathe and these precious women home with me. I felt like I had all these sisters that I did not want to leave behind. I have never been so loved in all my life. This is why I praise God for blessing me with the opportunity to attend this Road Trip before I reached my goal weight. If I had lost all this weight first, I would have thought like I always have that people only love me when I am thin. Okay, I am crying again. Y’all love me now. You treat me with respect now. I know from experience that there are people who will start being nicer to me when as I get closer to my goal weight. Dawn A. shared a similar experience, so it is not just me. God knew that I needed to experience being loved at this weight. He did such a healing work in my heart this weekend, and so many of you were His vessels of love and grace. Yes, I felt like I had been to church when I left that place. Instead of striving for love and acceptance, I can rest in the truth that I am loved and simply enjoy the rest of this amazing journey.
I hope and pray that Cathe is able to host more than one Road Trip next year. I want to return and will cry if I am not able to do so. I also want everyone who has not experienced this to have a opportunity to go, and I am still disappointed about not meeting Shelley and Kathryn and others this year and hope I can attend the same Road Trip they do. I am trusting God to work it all out.
Cathe, I am not sure if you will read this, but I want you to know that your sweet smiles and gentle words of encouragement carried me through those classes when I did not think I had the strength to take one more step. Thank you for being such an inspiration every day and such a gracious hostess for us this weekend.
Chris, thank you for all your hard work and for answering all my business and technical questions this weekend.
Nancy, thank you for welcoming me to the studio Friday morning and helping me get some new contacts so I could see!
Debbie, Kathy, and Lorrayne, thank you for going above and beyond the call of duty and making this a weekend to remember and cherish forever. Your hard work produced eternal fruit in me. I wrote this in the Road Trip forum on July 9, 2007: “This Road Trip for me is about stepping way out of my comfort zone and facing my insecurities and fears. It may turn out to be a healing experience for me. I just know in my heart that there is a greater purpose for me being there than simply enjoying a few live workouts.” Wow! I had no idea how prophetic that would be. Love and big Texas hugs to all of you.
Cathe and my beloved Road Trip sisters, y’all have captured my heart. I love you more than words can say! By the grace of God, I will finish this race and reach my goal weight. And I want you to know that each of you owns a little piece my future success. I will hold the memories of this weekend in my heart always. I experienced more healing in 48 hours than I have in years of counseling. Thank you for loving me. You are gifts from God, and I pray that He will bless you beyond measure. I am speechless and do not know what else to say. I feel a tremendous release, so I think I can stop writing now. It just dawned on me that I have been sitting at this computer for 10 hours without a break. I have not stopped to eat or go to the bathroom. I have not unpacked my bags or even washed my face or brushed my teeth. I am so hungry! As soon as I post this, my friend Rebecca is going to Cracker Barrel with me for dinner. I cannot wait to share all the details about this weekend with her. I ate a Krispy Kreme donut at the airport in Dallas yesterday. I am getting Cracker Barrel out of my system tonight. I am not sure what I will eat tomorrow because I did not get to the grocery store today, but I need to get back on track with clean eating until my birthday later this month.
Glory! I dropped 3 pounds in Catheland! Praise God for live Cathe workouts and yummy food! Eating like that and coming home lighter is a first for me!
Now I need to copy this to my personal journal and add all the details that were too personal to share publically. Can you imagine?! LOL! Do I win the prize for the longest post in forum history?
P.S. Coordinators, this thread is payback for the Who’s Who word limit. LOL!
Blessings,
Heather B.
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV).
Maybe I will get to go next year.
