at what age did you get married or have kids

>Why are you ashamed? you get married when you're ready, not
>because of some preconceived notion about when you're supposed
>to, or what others tell you, or because everyone else does.
>
>I got married at 30 and had my daughter at 33. If I could to
>it over, I'd have my daughter at 33 and get married in my
>60's.


AMEN!!!
 
I got pregnant in October 2002, I was 19. I had my daughter when I was 20. I have never been married, I was getting ready to go off to college when I had her. I did graduate from college and she was there to see me do it. She told me Mommy I am going to graduate from college too (she is only four). She also got to see her aunt graduate from college (my sister). Yes I was young when I had her, would I do it again, I dont know. I love her and she made me grow up and realize what is important in life. I dont desire the things I used to and working hard to me just doesnt seem appealing anymore. Putting in long hours at the job and being stressed isnt my thing. Because life is short and we cant take things with us when we go. In many ways I am glad that I had her young. The only thing I might regret is not having a secure job before I had her. But now I have an accounting degree and things are looking up a lot better money wise.

With God all things are possible. Be blessed
 
I got married when I was 22 I am now 37 and up to this point we had no children by choice.

We are actually starting to talk about kids now 15 years later. My husband is 55 but we are not concerned about what other people may think of us starting our family so late. It's what we want and we are both very active and healthy.

I do not believe there is a magic age one has to get married or have children. I feel it is diffent for everyone based on each situation.
 
Your fine! Here's something about "society" (aka: friends, family, strangers) - no matter what you do, its wrong.

If you get married young - they will talk.

If you get married old - they talk

If you have kids later in life - got something to say about it

If you have no kids - can't shut them up

If you have more than 2 kids - gossip big time

SO, give up and do what YOU want when its best for YOU. And be ready for all the "helpful" comments that will be continually coming forth. Marnie
 
>Your fine! Here's something about "society" (aka: friends,
>family, strangers) - no matter what you do, its wrong.
>
>If you get married young - they will talk.
>
>If you get married old - they talk
>
>If you have kids later in life - got something to say about
>it
>
>If you have no kids - can't shut them up
>
>If you have more than 2 kids - gossip big time
>
>SO, give up and do what YOU want when its best for YOU. And be
>ready for all the "helpful" comments that will be continually
>coming forth. Marnie


Wow!! Very well said!!
 
I wasn't going to comment in this thread but I just thought of a cool saying & I think it applies here:

"Life isn't short. It's the longest thing any of us will ever do."

I think that about sums it up. Do things in your own time & enjoy the ride!:)
 
I know what you mean about not being where I expect to be. I just turned 40, no kids but 3 horrible miscarriages, and almost divorced from a major drug addict. Not what I planned, but I do the best with the cards I have been dealt.
 
Married at 22, first child at 27, second child at 29, happily divorced at 32! Now I'm 39 and, like others on this thread, possibly, maybe meandering towards the idea of a second marriage. (OK, HE's meandering, I'm READY as Spongebob would say :7 )

One thing that life has shown me is that one way or another your most deeply held hopes and plans will be challenged and quite possibly completely trashed. Life will provide you with plenty of surprises and forks in the road. Don't sweat your age and not being married. Be true to yourself, be gentle with yourself. Everything will work out fine.
 
Ashamed ? I am 40, almost divorced from a drug addict, and 3 miscarriages under my belt, but no babies. Boy do I GET LOOKS as to why I have no children.
 
I am sorry if I offended anyone. After reading your posts I feel stupid. It's just when you are surounded by people like that, you forget that the world is bigger. I am considered too old in my parents and their friend's eyes. Even if I am getting married, they still make me feel like it's about time. You guys might come from different backgrounds, families. I really did not mean it to offend anyone. I seriously did feel that 28 is getting old.... after reading your posts, life seems longer.

thank you all
 
>I am sorry if I offended anyone. After reading your posts I
>feel stupid. It's just when you are surounded by people like
>that, you forget that the world is bigger. I am considered too
>old in my parents and their friend's eyes. Even if I am
>getting married, they still make me feel like it's about time.
>You guys might come from different backgrounds, families. I
>really did not mean it to offend anyone. I seriously did feel
>that 28 is getting old.... after reading your posts, life
>seems longer.
>
>thank you all

You have nothing to apologize for ! It is just how you feel and that is ok. I think you were more 'venting' about the people around you, and thats ok. It is awful that we women have these expectations about what we should have done by what age. I am 40, but I still can't believe my younger 'peers' like you are still getting the 'look' and the questions as to why you are not married with children !!!
 
I think people think you are missing something if you are not married and/or don't have children. My father passed on when I was young so I was taught from the beginning to be independent. I grew up believing that a husband/best friend would be nice but is not required for me to live life to its fullest.

Combine that with people saying "having children is my greatest accomplishment" etc etc Well, that may be so for some, but for others there are other adventures and accomplishments to behold (and btw, people without children can be just as busy and have just as many responsibilities).

So, keep a few copies of Sex in the City of hand for pesky relatives and people who insist upon asking questions that are none of their business.
 
All I can say is just be sure that he is the right one, and don't feel pressured by anyone (including yourself) to get married. As I'm sure others will tell you, getting married and then divorced, especially when there are kids in the picture, stinks.

From personal experience, I was pressured by my mother to get married at 21, which was a HUGE mistake. I was definately not mature enough to make that kind of decision (I know some people are) and ended up in a horrible marriage. After years of financial, emotional and physical abuse I finally called it quits. I always wanted childen, but was smart enough not to have any with that guy (thank God). Fast forward 7 yrs and I am married to a great man and am pregnant with #3 at 37 yrs old. I couldn't be happier with my family and my husband.

I too wanted to be a "young" mom, but life doesn't always work out the way you think it will. Just a bit of advice I should have thought about before my first marriage! Good luck to you! :)
 
I got married two weeks short of being 35, and am getting ready to celebrate my first anniversary next weekend. No kids, and no regrets!

I think MUCH more important that fulfilling a childhood dream is to wait to be sure you have the right person to spend your life with! Just my two cents...
 
I was 24 when I got married. Had dated my husband for 9 years at that point (high school sweethearts) so I totally understand the "when are you going to get married?" thing. We waited until we finished college and had a couple of years of our career under our belt. Best decision ever. We were able to save money and by the time we got married were able to buy our first house.

I'm 28 now and have no plans on getting pregnant anytime soon. DH and I will re-evaluate when I'm 30. Yes the in-laws ask EVERY time we see them when we'll give them grandchildren and my reply is they can go adopt a kid if they want one so badly. Having kids is our choice not theirs. I may have one at 30, maybe at 40 or maybe never. Either way it's our decision, our lives and that's the bottom line. Don't let anyone make you feel badly because you aren't married or have children.
 
I was married at 18, my husband was 21, and I had my children at 22 and 24. In the 12 years we've been married we've been through nine moves, two undergraduate degrees, two Master's degrees, a CPA, the building of a house, six miscarriages, two births, and currently live in Russia for my husband's job. We've never regretted a moment of our adventure together.
We all have different timetables in our lives, and 18 was the right age for me. Next year will be the right time for you. Don't waste precious time feeling guilty or bad about the things that haven't happened for you yet. Enjoy the ride for what it is! And, no, you're never too old to get married. Since when did 30 become old?!!
 
I am 33 and unmarried. There have been times in mid 20's that I really wanted to get married, but I have grown and changed and learned so much about life by being single. I have the desire to be married, but have not been fortunate enough to meet the right person yet. I think you should change your perspective. You are blessed to have met a wonderful man that you are going to marry. You have a successful career. I am sure you will have children in time and that will bring you a lot of joy. The thing about life is you don't always get what you want, when you want. But, you think about how you are different and better for experiencing life in a way that was unexpected. I am sure you will be a better wife and mother for having been single longer that you may have wanted!

Jessica
 
I wasn't going to respond to this thread because you've gotten so much good advice already, but I had to add this. Cathe just celebrated her 43rd birthday and her 2 sons are 3 and 5! Clearly, you don't have to be 20-something (or even 30-something) to be an active mom. Your physical age at becoming a mother doesn't matter as much as how old you feel! Best of luck to you in your wedding plans!

Jonahnah
Chocolate IS the answer, regardless of the question.
 
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