at what age did you get married or have kids

darine

darine

Cathlete
Hello

I just feel ashamed to tell people that I am not married yet. I know it sounds stupid, but I grew up with the idea that you are a failure until you are married and I know it's not true, but it hard to let that go.

I am 28 and will get married next year, so at the age of 29. As a little girl, I thought I would have at least 3 kids by my age now! At the age of 24, I wanted to be a mom so bad. I've been with my bf since the age of 20. We have a candle manufacturer together and a business requires lots of sacrifices since a manufacture is the hardest business to start and takes lots of time and sacrifices (I honestly think it's not worth it. I was young and ambitious when I started that business).

So just curious to see if I am too old to get married. I mean I will have my kids in my 30's and when I am in my 50's, my kids will be on their 20's. I wanted to be a young mom :( Life is hard and never like what you dreamt as a little girl.

How old did you get married and what age did you have your kids? Just getting info from people with experience.
 
I am neither married or have children and I am 26. I always thought I would for sure be at least married by now..and probably with at least 1 child.

I think my expectation of being a young wife/mom came from my own mother. She was 20 when she married and 21 when she had me. If this is the case with you, maybe you are just going off of your personal influence.

You shouldn't feel ashamed...you are still so so young!!! You took time to learn valuable life and career lessons and there is NO shame in that at all!!! Plus...you say that you ARE getting married next year to someone you have a long standing relationship with! You should be elated for that!!!

I just felt compelled to chime in here because my sister is going through the same thing. She is a year younger than me and feels like she has somehow failed because she is not yet married. I have to constantly convince her otherwise. It is perfectly fine to WANT to be a wife and mother...but don't get into a self defeating situation just because it hasn't happened YET.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of advice, that's just my 2 cents worth! :)
 
I was 2 months shy of 26 when I got married. Had my first kid at 28, then one at 30 and another at 32. You are not old by any stretch of the imagination.

I have a friend that got married at 36 and went on to have 5 kids so you are not alone. Another friend of our got married in her mid-30's and she also has 3 kids.

When I was young I wanted to be married by 25 and have all my kids by 30, well, that didn't happen for me either so you just go with the flow of life and enjoy.:7
 
i'm getting married in may. i will be 26. my fiance' will be 34. we have already decided to hold off with kids for a while so we can travel and enjoy each other. so kids probably won't happy until i'm 30. i too thought i would already of had a family going by now. thats the plan, if it happens differently i wouldn't be upset. just as long as it is after i'm 28 b/c then i will be finished with physical therapy school. no babies until school is over.
 
I am 25 years old, mother of one (boy, Collin, 2 1/2 years old) and I have NEVER been married.

I had Collin - GASP - out of wedlock when I was 23 years old. I never married his father (best move ever, but that's another story). I have been dating the same man for most of my son's life, and we are moving in the direction of marriage.

I always said I would never get married before age 30. And I NEVER, EVER thought I would have a child so young.

All I can say is, children are SUCH a blessing at ANY age!!
 
Well we actually had our first son before we were married. My first child was born when I was 22, married 6 months later at 23, next child at 24, and last child at 30.

Why do you feel ashamed not to be married yet? Not everyone gets married or has children and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Marriage doesn't define who your are.

You are definitley not too old to get married. I hope you have a wonderful wedding next year. I'm sure you will be a wonderful wife and mother.

Diana
 
I was one month shy of 34 when I first married...and that was too young!!!

Please don't allow societal pressure to allow you to feel like a failure. You are the only one who can or should decide what is "too old."

The older I get, the more I realize that life frequently doesn't turn out the way we plan, and that the happiest people are those who can "Improvise, Adapt and Overcome" (my personal motto).

Good Luck!
 
I was young. Married at 20, son at 22. Married about 8 1/2 yrs now, and things are going well. Sometimes I think it was a good idea to get married and have my son so young, so when he's out of the nest hubby and I can have our own fun and will still be young. However I missed a big part of my 20's at home with family. I think either way has it's upsides and downsides. But even if you're in your 50s when the kids leave home, that's hardly old.

Nan
 
I got married at age 24, just 3 months shy of being 25. I had my first baby a few weeks before turning 28 and my second a few weeks before hitting 31. I actually got married younger than planned--I always thought I'd still be single until 30--I was never one of those girls who really wanted to get married and start having kids right out of college. I was working to save money to move to another state and get a graduate degree when I met my husband. Instead I got married, have moved several times (including 2 overseas moves), and have 2 kids. Life is never quite what we expect or plan (maybe it is for some people, I don't know) but it is more exciting that way.

One of my best friends is 7 years older than I am and she got married around the same time I did and started having kids around the same time. She's not even done having the kids, so you have loads of time, still.

Oh, and I'll still get around to getting that graduate degree.....


***Lainie***

"The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." -- Mark Twain
 
I got married at 24 but did not have my first son until I was 32. That was by choice. My second son was born when I was 36. Again by choice. Both my sisters-in-law were married at 40 and both had sons when they were 41 or 42. My husband and I travelled and lived abroad when we were first married and looking back at that time I think we were very lucky to have those years alone together.
 
I got married at 27 and had 6 children between that and 39. You are definitely not to old. Don't worry, enjoy your marriage and enjoy the children when you have them.
 
thank you all...

that's the thing, I don't want to rush into having kids too because i want time with him. I feel so tight with time. All these years flew by concentrating on the company. I agree that marriage should not define who I am and should not let society make me feel a failure. It's hard for me to not see it that way even if I understand it.

Annette: WOW 5 kids after 36. I always wanted 5 kids, but with time, I changed to 3 and now 2 but that's something I should decide depending on how I feel. I wish so much I married my bf earlier and enjoyed time with him and then had kids. Instead we stressed for a stupid business. He does not seem to feel so stress about it because for him, the meaning of success is his business, for me, it's different. Men are from Mars and Women From Venus!

Lainie: I wish I could find it exciting like you say. But it's like I need stability and I never really felt it with the business. On top of that, we are thinking that once we are ready to sell the business, to change country (his family is moving to a beautiful place). It sounds good, but right now, all I want is a stable house and don't think about changing country. I find it stressfull while my friends think my life is exciting. Too much risk, changes. I had this idea on my head and nothing is turnning like I thought. I guess, this is life and did not understand that. It's never like we planned and I should take it as exciting and live the moment. So easy to say and to understand but so hard to apply. Anyhow, I am going on and on. Thank you all but if more women want to tell me more stories like that, go ahead. I would love to know.
 
I got married when I was 28...and I had my first (and only) child at 34...which was by choice. We wanted to be able to afford for me to be at home with our daughter and that was very important to us. You have plenty of time. And don't let anyone tell you different!


Debra

we do not remember days....
we remember moments
--Cesare Pavese

http://www.picturetrail.com/aschendell
0101_10009001662.gif
 
I was married at 25 and had my son at age 30.

You are certainly not old to be getting married or having children. My sister had her first child at 35 and her second at 41.
 
I got married young 19. I am now 31 going on 32 next month, and I have 5 boys now. My husband and I will be celebrating our 13th wedding aniversary in Nov. I did get pregnant out of wedlock, but we got married when I was 4months pregnant. No regrets.
Billie TX
 
I got married at 28. A year later we had a son. I am glad I waited to get married. I was able to enjoy being young and carefree. I married my husband a year after we met. We were engaged after 6 months. We just knew early. We are going on 8 years in Sept. You are really not too old to have children! My sister had her first at 38 and second at 39 and they are thinking of having another. Me? I think I can only handle one!;-) But I love him to pieces.
Oh and BTW....didn't you hear, 50 is the new 30 especially if you are working out with Cathe!!!:7
LD
 
>I got married when I was 28...and I had my first (and only)
>child at 34...which was by choice. We wanted to be able to
>afford for me to be at home with our daughter and that was
>very important to us. You have plenty of time. And don't let
>anyone tell you different!
>
>
>Debra
>
>we do not remember days....
>we remember moments
>--Cesare Pavese
>
>http://www.picturetrail.com/aschendell
>
0101_10009001662.gif



hey Debra. I looked at your pics. Wow you look great. I can guess your age by seeing your daughter and knowing you had her at 34. I would have believed you if you would've said you are on your late 20's. I am impressed. You look my age, 28!!!!!! You are beautiful too.
 
I got married at 29, had my first child at 31 and my second at 34. I wanted to get married right after college, and have my first (of 3) at 26. Unfortunately I didn't meet my DH till the week before I turned 27.:)We dated for a year and were engaged for a year. I don't regret being older than I had wanted when I got married or had kids. After my 2 boys we decided 2 kids were good, but if we wanted another, I would have had one at 37 and it'd be fine. Plenty of my friends had their 3rd or 4th at 37/38. My SIL was married at 26 and just had their first child (and prob. only) at 36 years young.
Just enjoy your soon to be hubby and when you have kids, enjoy them! Don't be in a hurry:) Good luck with everything!

Deanie
 
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