Any advice????

G

g_lynn

Cathlete
I'm depressed, hate my job, hate my life, no money, no friends! I may be fine for a few days, have great motivation then all of sudden I hit rock bottom. I work with all guys at a manufacturing plant (Im the only female) and I can't stand being around them anymore (it's been 11 years). Upper management thinks they are better than us lil people. I've had enough! My husband and I live paycheck to paycheck and stay home every weekend because of no money. I have a 1st grader, senior and sophomore in hs...in which I'm about to go get a part-time job just to pay for their extra school expenses. I'm the one who helps them with everything not my husband. My husband is the father to my 1st grader...the two older ones are from my first marriage. My husband drinks everynight and becomes mentally abusive and is non-supportive about my fitness. I currently just finished doing the 3 1/2 mo STS rotation for a second time (it took about 4-4 1/2 mo to actually finish due to my motivation and life). I'd like to find work in the health field but I have to work full-time and within a year I have to start paying for my son's college education. I'm just in a hole and can't figure out how to get out I've been on antidepressents for a few years now and I really don't think they are working anymore. Does anyone have any advice? I just don't know how much longer I can take this lifestyle.

g_lynn
 
Holy moly girl, . . . I just want to give you a big giant hug. I can totally relate with the hating the job thing. I hate my job with a passion, been working there for 5 years and it just depresses me. My advice, . .by the sounds of it your husband is an alcoholic, . .or at least he acts like one. No one and I mean no one, including my worse enemy deserves to be abused verbally or physically and you should work on fixing that ASAP. Not just for you but for your children. Look around for a new job, . . .look into financial aid for night time schooling. Change can happen but I know how difficult it is to get motivated to make a change, . . not when humans are creatures of habit. You CAN do this and you have friends here. I consider some of the people here my friends even though I've never laid eyes on them. They motivate, support, have true loving and caring hearts and give honest advice. This forum is great for the support you need. Keep us posted and take care of yourself.
 
Ditto what Janie said! Know that you have support and friends here! I wish there was something I could do! {{{hugs}}} Think positively, look for the good in your day each and every day and think about your kids! If you have to, find a shelter, worse comes to worse, but I agree that you should look into night school. There are tech jobs that you can get certified/degrees for in 18 months to 2 years at most. It's not easy. I know from experience! Working fulltime and going to school is difficult, but if you are dedicated and really want it, it can be done!

Good luck, hang in there and keep us posted!
 
As Janie1234 says, change CAN happen and it IS difficult. If I were you, the first thing I would do is go see my doctor about trying a different antidepressant if you feel the one you are on isn't working for you. Second, if I were you, I'd tell my DH he has two choices: he goes to counseling either alone or both of you together or he can move the f*** out. He treats you like that because YOU ARE LETTING HIM. STOP. Think of how his behavior is affecting your children as well. Then start looking for a new job where you won't be quite so miserable all the time. And if your HS kids require more money for extra expenses--let them get the pt jobs! they're old enough to work a few hours on the weekends and after school. Otherwise, they can do without. There is financial aid available for people like you. You should also look into financial aid for your son's college education and again...he can get a pt job for that too, lots of kids do it. I didn't even start college until I was 31 and I worked a full time day job the entire time. It took me 6 years of nights, weekends and correspondence and online courses but I have my BA. :D It CAN be done.

Change doesn't just happen by itself, you have to make it happen. Good luck, you can do it.
 
{{{HUGS}}} to you. There are several items in your post I can relate to! Here are my random thoughts after reading your post:

1. I personally prefer to work with men because working with women (as I do now) can be a royal pain...too many hormones, cattiness, etc. However, if you really don't like your job, start looking for another. Just don't quit until you have another one! Unfortunately, everywhere you go the higher-ups feel they are better than the worker-bees. It is a royal pain but is the way of the corporate world.

2. I agree with the previous posters that you will need to have a chat with your husband. Counseling would certainly be advised. If he isn't willing, maybe start going to al-anon. It might teach you coping skills.

3. I also agree that maybe your high school children need to get part-time jobs to pay for extra expenses. What type of expenses are you needing to cover? Maybe they need to make sacrifices as well. Can you look at expenses and cut out some things? Maybe split finances with DH and each cover certain household expenses and then each have your own money. In regards to college education for your son...how about he attends a community college for two years or a more local college that is less expensive? I know parents want to give their children every advantage, including a college education but sometimes it just isn't in the cards.

Above all take time to BREATHE! Find things you can do to help you relax. Meditate, do yoga, listen to music you like, etc. I also agree that you should talk to your doctor about changing your meds. It may be that the anti-depressant you are currently on no longer works for you.

Good luck to you and please let us know how you are doing.

Carrie
 
I'm so so happy and estatic that there are people out there who care. Thanks for all the {{hugs}}. The four of you just made my evening by responding and putting your two cents in. Your awesome!

I do want to add that my senior works 2 part-time jobs in addition to going to school full-time. My hat is off to him! Secondly, my daughter the sophomore has turned in a few applications but haven't heard anything. They are willing to help financially if they have the money but I feel that announcements, cap, gown, senior pics and my daughter's class ring is up to me to buy. My mom didn't buy those things for me because we didn't have the money so that is the least I can do for my kids.

As for employement, I'm half way done with my resume...just need to finish it. I'll work on that this weekend. I agree that working with men is easier than women but I really need to move on. My husband also works there too!

I been meaning to call my doctor about the meds...I think I need to do this next week.

As for my husband, he's drunk again tonight. Yes, he's and alcoholic but won't admit it. All he says is that he likes his beer. I have talked to him when sober and expressed what he does and how he makes me feel when drunk but he never changes his ways. This subject is hard to fix....

Again, I appreciated the advice. I'll get up in the morning, exercise and work on improving my life one day at a time.

I really do feel a lot better knowing I have cathe friends who I can talk to.

g_lynn
 
More hugs. My heart goes out to you. Coping with crappiness in any one area of your life is so much easier when other parts are doing well. For instance when the job is bad but you can come home to a considerate and supportive spouse. I have been through phases when challenges and issues swamp multiple parts of life. It doesnt seem like there is any light at the end of the tunnel, but you must try to remember that change is certain. Life will change. You will find options. You will find answers. Sending wishes that it happens soon.
 
Thank you Vee and hokypoky. Yes, I love my kids too death...they are my world! I couldn't imagine life without them.

g_lynn
 
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