Am I crazy for not taking the job?

A

aloxx

Cathlete
Hi there:
I need some input because I think people close to me may be too close to the situation. I'm a sped teacher and recently I applied for a job in another school district. They offered me the job at $10,000 more than I make now, which would be great. HOWEVER, I would have to cancel a trip to Disney World with my two girls and my sister and her family in December which we've been planning for months, I'd be working more hours, have added work and would not have the flexibility I have now in terms of taking care of my two girls when they're sick etc. For example, now if either of my girls is sick, I can take the day off and nobody asks me questions, or if I have to run to get my older daughter from school for some reason, I can do that. With the new job I would lose that flexibility.

Anyway, after lots and lots of agonizing over the whole thing, I decided to stay with my current job making $10,000 less per year. I actually felt so much better after I made the decision, but some of my family thinks I'm totally crazy. Can anyone relate?

Thanks,
Alicia
 
Alicia, you did the right thing!! You cannot put a price tag on time with your family!!

Of all of my friends, I make the LEAST money, but I go in later, get off earlier, have lots of paid time off, and I am home with my son when he needs me. That is priceless to me.
 
It all depends on what your long range goals are, in my opinion. If the job itself was better and was "the next step" in the right direction for your career goals, then passing it up could cost you the advancement you seek. However, family is important and money isn't everything. If you can get just as much fulfillment from your current job as you would have with your new one, then taking less money and being there for your kids is right.

But ultimately, this decision was yours to make, and yours alone. Only you know where your priorities lie. And, like I said, money isn't everything. Don't pay attention to what your family says. They aren't you. Their circumstances would dictate THEIR decision, not yours. I'd tell you to politely tell them to butt out, if I were giving advice (hmmm, I guess I am). They need to worry about themselves, and you need to NOT worry about what they think of you. Coz in the end, it's none of their business. :p
 
aloxx said:
Hi there:
I need some input because I think people close to me may be too close to the situation. I'm a sped teacher and recently I applied for a job in another school district. They offered me the job at $10,000 more than I make now, which would be great. HOWEVER, I would have to cancel a trip to Disney World with my two girls and my sister and her family in December which we've been planning for months, I'd be working more hours, have added work and would not have the flexibility I have now in terms of taking care of my two girls when they're sick etc. For example, now if either of my girls is sick, I can take the day off and nobody asks me questions, or if I have to run to get my older daughter from school for some reason, I can do that. With the new job I would lose that flexibility.

Anyway, after lots and lots of agonizing over the whole thing, I decided to stay with my current job making $10,000 less per year. I actually felt so much better after I made the decision, but some of my family thinks I'm totally crazy. Can anyone relate?

Thanks,
Alicia
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Alicia...

I normally don't poke my nose around any posts that involve people and their finances, but I have to say...there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that means more to me than making memories with my wife, and enjoying our time together...we need vacations for our sanity, I really believe that, and not just because I work in hospitality, it's just from personal experience...I can live a good long while off the memories of a good vacation.

You're not crazy, not in the slightest, at least in my book!
 
Thanks everyone! I actually am feeling so much calmer and more at ease now that I've made the decision so I think it was the correct one for me. At this point, I think it's more important for me to find ways to make due with what I have in order to be able to have the opportunity to spend more time with my girls. When the time is right, the correct opportunity will come along.

Your responses have made me feel so much better!

Thanks again!!
Alicia
 
Just another one chiming in that you made the right decision. I don't work outside the home, but dh works for a small company that is very flexible when family/health issues come up and he needs to take a day or partial day off. You just can't put a price tag on that kind of flexibility and family friendliness.

Maggie:)
 
You made the right decision. You really did. There's nothing more valuable than job flexibility for your family. And I echo Sparrow's thought that not every decision needs to be financial. There are much more important things in life!
 
ITA with everyone. you don't need the stress,long hours, and missed time with family. but i do want to thank you for what you do. having a special needs child, the teachers make all the difference in the world and i am sure your kids would have hated to see you go. think of all those little lives you change everyday with your presence.

kassia
 
I agree with everyone else - you'll never get back the years of nuturing your children while they are young enough to need you.

Mine are all nearly on their own (have a 21 yr old living here) and now I am able to do what I need to do for my career. It may be a little later than most since I was lucky enough to stay home the first 13 years I had children, but they are now telling me how much they liked having me around - even when they didn't agree with me.

Another opportunity will present itself at the "right" time and you'll make your decision then.

So listen to your heart and let the others do as they see fit for themselves.
 
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Alicia,

In my view, the position in the new district might have brought $10,000 more, but it would have meant you working more hours and handling more responsibilities, so it sounds like you're turning down an opportunity to just work more. I'm surprised the new district didn't grant you personal days or at least unpaid time for your already-planned vacation. The zero flexibility all-around would be a big strike in my book as well.

BTW, I can relate...my former boss offered to double my salary before I left to become a teacher...As it was, I took a pay cut from just my regular salary to a teacher's salary...My father, though he was supportive otherwise, told me I was nuts! :) But as others said above, it's NOT always all about the money.
 
jloewe said:
Alicia...

I normally don't poke my nose around any posts that involve people and their finances, but I have to say...there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that means more to me than making memories with my wife, and enjoying our time together...we need vacations for our sanity, I really believe that, and not just because I work in hospitality, it's just from personal experience...I can live a good long while off the memories of a good vacation.

You're not crazy, not in the slightest, at least in my book!
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I completey agree with Jerry! There is NOTHING more important than being with my family....you made the right decision! Good job!
 
The right choice!

Really in the end how much extra would you have really come home with when you are working more hours and the biggest of all...giving up the flexibilty you have now to almost zilch!
 
aloxx said:
I actually felt so much better after I made the decision,
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IMO there's your answer. Regardless of your reasons, you know you made the right decision. During my Twenty something years in the staffing industry I have always felt that people need to go with their gut feeling. Does it feel right? Anytime they went against it they would regret it shortly after. I think you made the right choice.:D
 
There is so much more to life than money. Sometimes people, including family and friends who love us, just can't see the whole picutre and that's o.k. Talking about or sharing opinion's of someone else's decision is so much easier than having to make that same decision yourself. I think you should be at peace with your decsion. It sounds like you made the right one for you and your family.
 
you are not crazy

Alicia-

I have a similar situation where I could easily find another job that makes $10K+ more per year, but just thinking about all the extra stress related to loss in flexibility makes me queasy.

So, I'm doing 2 things to make myself feel better: 1) exploring ways to make more money where I'm at, and 2) putting a $ value on the "intangible" benefits of this job (i.e. time off for appts., kids' activities, vacations, holiday time off, no commuting stress, extra Cathe & gym time, etc.) and adding that $ value to my pay. This has made me realize that the extra money "costs" me a lot in other things that I value.

On another note, you DID take the step to apply for other job, so just keep holding out and you will eventually have the higher pay and the family time that is important to you. The 2 don't have to be mutually exclusive!
 
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Thank youl, thank you

Thanks everyone for all of the input. I feel so much better today about the whole thing. I'm so glad I posted here because it was difficult to really listen to myself when I was getting the message that maybe it would be wise to take the new job. Although I'm not in a great place financially, I can get by, which I'm grateful for. I have the time I need with my girls without a problem and I'm able to fit in my daily workouts, which I need so badly! So, I'm feeling good.

Thanks again to everyone here who posted a response. It really helps so much!!

Alicia
 
I think you made the right decision too.

I had a job that was very flexable and I ended up leaving that position for a better paying job with more hours. I was missing my kids so much, that I would cry everyday. I ended up quiting and going BACK to my old job. I was lucky they took me back. I was there for a couple of years and then I was blessed and found another job walking distance from home with more flexability and more pay.

If you feel good about your decision, then you made the right one for you.
 
I was in a similar position last year. The circumstances of why I turned down the job were a bit different, but it was a teaching position, and the salary was $10,000 more. In the end, I see that my decision was perfect. I switched positions in my own district, and it turned out to be the perfect job, and it really felt like that is what was supposed to happen. I also went through much agonizing and stress over the decision! I know exactly what that feels like.

What I wanted to tell you is that even though the other job (for me) had a higher salary, the insurance and the staff development opportunities basically negated the increase in salary. It really wouldn't have been that much of an increase in the end.

It is invaluable to work in a district that puts family first. That is the most important thing in your life, and that is where you are at right now. I think you should feel good about being offered the job, and be proud of yourself for making the decision that you did. Good for you.

By the way, if you don't mind my asking, why were you interviewing for another job?
 
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