.... As I understand it, there are many... um... unpleasant side effects that may cause you to not venture too far from the restroom while on it... .
Now, now, Stephanie, Alli does not cause unpleasant side effects!! They are called "treatment effects" on their website, and are described as: "...bowel movement changes (that) may include oily spotting, loose stools and more frequent stools that may be hard to control."
I had to poke around on their website to even find see them admit that!!