? About a possible job opportunity - need honest answers

andtckrtoo

andtckrtoo

Cathlete
I was laid off of my job 2 months ago, and decided to take the summer off to spend with my kids. I'm now back in the market, and should have two offers by Monday/Tuesday. So, I'm not without resources. However, my DH's boss heard the base(I would get commission too), and said, "Oh, you have to be kidding me - she's worth so much more than that. Maybe we can get her into our company." My DH works for a major networking company and his boss is the SR VP. If I were to take the job his boss offered, I'd make literally twice what I would make elsewhere. But, my performance would affect not only my DH BUT his boss... I know I would do a good job, but DH is the major bread winner in the family. We don't NEED the money, but it would put us in a nice position as the kids are going to college and we would have no debt except for our house - again - the kids will get their tuition paid regardless...

So, my question is would you even consider this, knowing that I can get a job on my own, and what I do would reflect so heavily on my DH and his boss? I know this is sooo trivial compared to a lot of people out there, but I'm really confused as to whether I should even be thinking about this or not.
 
Christine,
I'm like you, I would worry about non-existent things, and would have the same thoughts you're having. So I asked my DH what he thought and he wants to know why you think your performance would reflect on your DH and his boss? He honestly doesn't see a connection. If you don't work out, why should that mean that your DH's job would be in jeopardy?
-Nancy
 
I agree with Nancy...this is tough Christine. I know working with my DH would be not real great. But is twice the salary worth that? I think for me it would really depend on what your DH thinks...:)
 
You know - you're right Nancy and Carole. His boss is the one who mentioned it, and I know I would do a good job. I'll see what the boss says next time we see each other. I really appreciate the gentle whap upside the head with the silly putty hammer...
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

Christine, I agree with Nancy and Carole about talking to your DH. And you have to ask yourself how much you want that particular job. Is it a once in a lifetime opportunity that you would regret passing up in years to come? Or is it just a job that pays pretty well. If it's just for the $$, you have other offers and you hear potential alarm bells going off, don't consider it. Of course, this is just my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

Christine-
as long as DH and potential boss are cool I say take the job that will make you excited to go to work everyday! We all deserve jobs that makes us happy!
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

Christine-
How do you & your DH feel about working together for the same company? If you think it's likely to create stress for both of you or for just you (by stressing out so much bc your work would affect him), then I wouldn't consider it. But if it's a position that really interests you, it sounds like it could be a great opportunity. One thing that impressed me in your story is how highly you are thought of by your husband's boss. He seems like a good guy who already recognizes your worth. If my husband was OK with it and I felt confident I could do the job, I would take it. Why not go for what you are worth?

I went through something similar when I decided to change school districts two years ago. If I stayed at my old school, I would have gotten tenure and a position as head of my department. If I took the new offer, I'd make a lot more money in a forward-thinking district but would be starting all over again. There were lots of other pros and cons and I literally had to make a pro/con list on paper. Toughest decision of my life. The night before I had to give my decision to the new district, I received a cryptic phone call from a colleague in my former school. That call - which indicated a whole slew of personnel problems about to break open - *gave* me, or at least solidified, my answer. I have no absolutely no regrets that I did the right thing. Just wanted to share that bc I know how difficult it is to choose between two seemingly-good options. It was TORTURE for me.

Good luck! I hope you choose the path that'll make you happiest!
-cathy :)
 
Christine, if his boss is the one who mentioned it, then it doesn't even sound like he's offering it as a favor to your DH. It sounds like he just really believes in your abilities. I am VERY happy to give you that gentle whap, because I know that's exactly what I would need.

I want to add, even though it probably goes without saying, that you should choose the position that makes you the happiest. Happiness at a job leads to success, and success attracts money. I would not be overly dazzled by a starting salary. It is of the utmost importance to choose the position that you honestly think will make you the happiest.

Go get 'em! :D
-Nancy
 
Hi Christine--
Just to echo the advice you've gotten here -- which I agree with -- it's a balance between potentially working with DH and more money and which one you'd like better.

This might be stating the obvious, but like Cathy said, it's nice to feel valued and appreciated. Does it make sense to just meet with DH's boss to see what he had in mind. (Maybe that's been done) and maybe his ideas would help you think this through or even come up with new ideas.

You'll do great at what ever you choose to do next. I think these kinds of choices are the hardest to think through and make a decision about.

Good luck,
Barb
:) :)
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

You gals are wonderful!! The opportunity is actually exactly what I would love to do, but because my resume is so heavily sales based, most companies overlook me for these positions (even though I worked at one for 4 years and was promoted every 8 months...). DH's boss knows me (we go out with him and his wife often - they're friends) and knows that I understand the business and can do the job. Plus, just the flexibility is a big draw - this is a job where as long as I get the job done, it doesn't matter where I am or when I do it (my old job was like that- I'm up at 4 working, do a good workout, then get to work around 9). DH and his boss have "meetings" at the gym on the machines... The funny thing is, it really has nothing to do with the money. That's just a really nice benefit. I think my main concern was DH and his boss. DH is a little leery - he jokes that I'll see he's never in the office and start accusing him of things. But I know he's never in his office - he's Mr Social Animal - and he knows I know that. So, anyway, if his boss offers the position again, I think I'll take it. I'd be stupid not to.
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

Christine, it has been interesting to read this thread this morning. Yay! I'm glad to see you relax a little over this, as it seems like a great opportunity. It sounds like your DH has had the same reaction of "it must be too good to be true"... but he'll come around, LOL.

I do think you should try and talk to his boss before accepting some other offer... because I've found if you work just a little bit at making some "perfect scenario" actually work out, you can have amazing results! (I asked my bootcamp boss for my evening class 4 months before the old instructor left, and she never thought to offer it to anyone else!)

Don't forget to pat yourself on the back that you've got people clammoring over each other to get to you! :7
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

Just a comment that you probably know the answer to - is the company stable so that both of you wouldn't lose jobs at the same time?

That always worries me with some of the Silicon Valley based businesses.

Otherwise, how cool could that be?

Good luck with your new endeavour, whichever you choose ;)
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

Good point, Jacques... Yes, the company is very stable. Thanks!

Amy - you're just too sweet! I do agree that it could be a perfect opportunity. We'll play it by ear for now. I don't want to push his boss, so we'll see.
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

As one who's been "on the market" several times after layoffs (and always landed better on my feet afterward), here's my advice:

Forget about the money for a minute. It doesn't sound like the money is an issue in your situation, so let's put it aside.

Now, where does your heart want to go - again, don't think about the money. Get your brain out of the picture here and stop listening to what your brain is rationalizing and listen to where your heart is pulling you. What I'm saying is this: You have to love/like what you do! If money isn't the issue, then do what you love (like) instead. You can't go wrong.

I was in the job market a couple years ago, and ended up getting two offers. One was substantially more than the other -- a lot more, in fact. But the other one was more appealing to me on so many levels! The lower-paying position looked like the perfect fit for me, but my brain kept saying "Oooo, take the money, take the money!" But when I listened to my heart, it said, "If you take that higher-paying job, you're going to get more of the same that you got in your last job, and you left that job because you didn't want to deal with that crap, anymore! Now, that lower-paying job has so much more to offer you: Growth, a great boss, better opportunities, your own office, a better fit for your skills and what you like to do, you'll actually like working there...take that job!!"

I ended up listening to my heart and took the lower-paying job and I'm so glad I did. That's not to say that the higher-paying job isn't where your own heart lies in your situation. If it is, then take it - forget about the money, forget about the fact that your husband works there (he'll do fine, and anyone who measures his success by your performance is opening themselves up to legal action - I think they're smarter than that).

And if you still don't know what to do, answer this question: If you lived alone and had no one to take care of but yourself, and you had won the lottery and could live comfortably without a job, which job would you take? That's the job you should accept.
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

Christine:

stop second guessing ourself. You have been thought of for the job on merit. What you do has no reflection whatsoever on your husband, you will have separate contracts for godsake. Don't spend your life thinking every company out there is about to go belly up. Why do you need such negative thinking? And why shouldn't you have the extra money? You don't even have to justify it along the lines of "oh I can get x, y, z for the kids". You deserve the money, others recognize that, go with it and accept your due.

If you want the job and you like the contract/package, then take it and be happy. Don't sell yourself short. there's no honour in taking a low paying, second rate job just for the "thrills" of saying "i got it on my own." This is not a case of nepotism. Go get that job.

Clare
 
RE: ? About a possible job opportunity - need honest an...

I so love the smart, intelligent women on this board. I have gotten much better and more thorough advice than even I was hoping for when I wrote this. I cannot tell y'all how much I appreciate it. I am definitely planning on thoroughly researching each option before making a decision. And the money, while it would be nice, is not going to be a deciding factor (to follow what I love to do, is such great advice, thanks). Even though I know I can do the job at DH's company, there is something to be said about proving yourself to a different company and working your way up the ladder. I know I am desperately needed (another good factor - and one of the reasons I'm such a sucker for volunteer work - I love to be needed) at both of the other companies, and I could go in there and do something that really makes a difference. DH's company won't offer that opportunity as it's too big and there are already many, many capable people. I've spent the entire day thinking about this (and hiking, and enjoying the afternoon by shopping and lunching with DH - not to mention a great glass of Zinfindel) so I'm going to take it out of my head tomorrow and enjoy the day as is. Then I'll think about it again on Monday - withonly positive thoughts, and no self doubt!

I know this is so sappy, but I really love these boards. Where else could I find the caliber of women who read this and understand what I need? I mean, I love the whap upside the head that many of you have given me, and I love the confidence boosters others have (most have done both!) So {{{HUGS}}} to all of you!
 
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