A week of mashed potatoes and beer

Amysue

Amysue

Cathlete
Hey everyone,
Last week was tough. My daddy died on Tuesday. Now, I'm feeling like an orphan since my Mom died two years ago on the same day. So, to comfort myself I ate alot of mashed potatoes and gravy and drank beer everyday till Saturday. I'm back on track this week with my clean diet and workouts. But, I'm still feeling guilty about all that nasty, complex-carb food I shoved into my body. Why succomb to your emotions with food? I just can't believe that I am that weak in my mental and physical constitution.
Oh, well. I'm still sad, but at least I have the urge to eat gravy and anything starchy under control.
Amy
 
Hi Amy, My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry for your loss. My father is in hospital now, he suffered a stroke last Saturday after a throat cancer operation on Friday. I'm 38, and although I "thought" I was prepared for the eventual loss of my parents, this is to date the worst pain I've ever felt! The only worse could be not to have him at all. Don't beat yourself up for one week of "not so good" eating, praise yourself for getting back on track so quickly.:)
I know there is nothing any of us can say that will lessen your pain, but know that you will be in my thoughts, and I'll pray that God grant you the strength to endure.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you, take care of yourself, physically and mentally, and remember we're (the forum) here for you,
Donna
 
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

You do what you have to do to get through this very tough time and do not feel guilty about a thing. My heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself as best you can.
 
RE: Please be gentle with yourself

My heartfelt sympathies to you on your loss. The death of a loved one is never easy.

And please, let go of your guilt at needing some comfort foods (and beverages) in those early days after your loss. You're human, Amysue. And you're okay.

Annette
 
RE: Please be gentle with yourself

Amysue,

First, I am extremely sorry about your loss. Losing a loved one is NEVER easy no matter when it happens. I will be praying for you and your family.

Secondly, allow yourself time to grieve and if that means a little indulgence then so be it. This is a tough time for you so don't feel guilty about the past because it is not productive. Good for you for getting back on track so quickly and I hope you feel better very soon!



Kelly http://www.sgtfuzzbubble99.homestead.com/files/Smilies/De_Niro/eeyore.gif
 
Amy,

I am sorry to hear of your father's recent death. From one "orphan" to another, there will come a day when you miss your parents only because you wish you had them so that you could give them more happiness. You will no longer feel poignantly aware that they are no longer here for you. It'll get easier.

Don't worry about the potatoes and beer. So they weren't particularly nutritious.. But you probably didn't eat so many calories anyhow. Forget it, lots of people comfort themselves with food over a lot less.

Be well,
Jeanne
 
Hi Amy!

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that you were there to help take care of him in his time of need and that is pretty SPECIAL!! You'll have EXTRA jewels in your crown! Don't worry about a few days of eating bad. Gosh, we all do it when we have nothing happening sad in our lives! A big hug to you!!!

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, Amy. Give yourself time to grieve and, in time, celebrate his life and your memories with him.

Don't worry about a lapse in your diet; as many have already said, lots of people don't need any excuse to indulge. It's certainly okay to try to find comfort wherever you can when you are so sad.

Take care.

Sandi

PS to Donna: I hope your Dad will be okay. Take care of yourself, too!
 
Amysue, I too am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is really painful. Only time can heal, but exercise can help ease the way. I miss my dad a lot, he's been gone for 7 years. Try to focus on the good memories.

Oh, and mashed potatoes aren't ALL bad. Complex carbs = fuel! You aren't "weak" you are in pain! Don't be so hard on yourself. It's important for us to consume complex carbs anyway, despite what all those "low-carb" fanatics say.

Take care of yourself

marnie
 
Please don't feel guilty....that's why they call it "comfort food." If you need to cry, cry; if you need to eat mashed potatoes, do that, too. You've experienced a major loss and you need to be good to yourself.

Of course, you DO need to get your diet back on track, but you did what you did to make yourself feel better, and that's no reason to feel guilty.

Sounds like your dad wanted to be with your mom since he died on the same day she did two years later. I really believe that happens. My great grandfather died 41 years after his wife did on the same day, too.

Give yourself time to grieve, and don't think of yourself as weak!
 
Thanks so much to all of you. I'm crying just reading your supportive words. Thanks.
Donna, I am praying for your dad. I hope he is doing better.
And as for my dad, I know he's in heaven with my mom and my sister. I'm truly glad that he's not suffering anymore and that he knows exactly who he is. He's whole again.
I'm also proud to say that his death brought about something positive here also. While he was dying and his daughters were setting vigil by his bedside, we tried to ease his obvious pain with cold washcloths, gentle massage, swabs of water. But, the nursing home did a very poor job of pain management. I won't go into details because I want to remember my dad as strong, funny, gardening, farming, visiting friends...etc. But, as a result of his and our experience, the nursing home has changed its policies on managing pain during emminent death. Way to go dad...still making a difference.
Once again, thanks to all of you for your kind words. And if your dad and mom are still alive...give them a hug for me.
Amy
 
Amy, I would also like to express my condolences! The way you describe your, dad-strong, funny, gardening... Wow! You could be describing mine! He died six years ago Thanksgiving. Maybe they can plant a big old garden together in Heaven. Be kind to yourself and if mashed potatoes and beer are comforting to you, then take that comfort and don't beat yourself up about it! God bless and keep you!

Bobbi http://www.plaudersmilies.de/natur/twinkle.gif http://www.plaudersmilies.de/natur/twinkle.gif http://www.plaudersmilies.de/natur/twinkle.gif http://www.plaudersmilies.de/natur/twinkle.gif http://www.plaudersmilies.de/natur/twinkle.gif
 
Yes, Amy!

Seconding that suggesion to give your parents a BIG hug!!! I lost both of my parents at a young age and wish they were here to hug!! Another big hug to you too!!!

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Feb-06-02 AT 11:19AM (Est)[/font][p]I am kind of late in this but I just wanted you to know you have my prayers too.

My Mom has been gone 9 years and my Dad just passed away this summer.....so I can relate to your feelings. I had my comfort foods too. It is a blessing to know your loved ones are freed from their sick and tired bodies and happy in heaven....but it does take some time to get used to them being gone...not that we completely get used to it.

Time is a great healer.

May God comfort you and bless you.

Susan
 
>Hey everyone,
>Last week was tough. My daddy
>died on Tuesday. Now, I'm
>feeling like an orphan since
>my Mom died two years
>ago on the same day.
>

Amy, when a parent dies, that is exactly the feeling. You feel so alone. The memories flood back and it's hard to put any of the loss in perspective. I, and everyone else who has lost a parent, know how you are feeling at this time. Don't be too hard on yourself - beer and mashed potatoes were'nt such a back choice of comfort food. It will eventually come back together for you. In the meantime, feel free to put your feelings in to words...everyone is here for you.

D.
 
My heart goes out to you on your loss.

don't let yourself feel one bit of guilt about eating comfort foods. You are feeling enough pain already. We do what we have to do to get through tough times - You'll be okay because you have already made the effort to get it under control.

God bless.
 
Amysue,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My mother passed away back in August and know the feelings your going through. I just wished I could have chosen mashed potatoes and beer for my comfort food instead of ice cream,cookies, and cokes! ;-) That's not mentioning the 6 months eating them compared to your 1 week. I admire your spirit! My prayers will be with you.

Melody
 
Don't worry

My dad died 2 years ago (I'm only 23), so I know how tough it is! Just remember all of the wonderful memories you have with him! There are times when you'll just want to cry and eat, and that's fine. It was so recent that I wouldn't worry at all about what you eat! (If it's 2 years later, that's different!) Do what soothes you, and even though it's not the "perfect" solution, if mashed potatoes will make you feel a bit better, eat them- there are worse foods out there!! (Besides, one alcoholic drink a day can be beneficial!) So don't feel guilty- I douby you gained much weight and if you did, it's probably just bloat.

Good Luck- this just makes you stronger
 
Hello Amy. I'm sorry about your loss. I couldn't possibly imagine that happening to me. My dad had a stroke last year and I got very scared then my mom needed emergency surgery on her arm and at that moment I realized that eventually I'm going to lose my parents, but when that day comes I wouldn't know what to do. When they were sick I also got sick. It was really horrible. My heart goes out to you and you are very brave to start back on track after one week of your loss. Don't feel guilty about that little slip on your diet. That's understandable. And thanks for reminding me to hug my parents while they are still here with me. My eyes got teary when I read this message. It's really hard to lose a loved one. I remember when my grandmother died (that was yeeeeeeears ago) and I still see her in my dreams. I guess that's what we have... the nice memories and if we're lucky enough we see them when we dream. But I think that they always watch us on their side and if we do ok they smile.
 
RE: Don't worry

You guys are the greatest. Thanks for the support. I need it. Who needs grief management? We have the Cathe forum and our Cathe friends! Thanks!
My heart goes out to all of you who have lost loved ones. I'm only 36 and almost cringe at the thought of living the rest of my life without my parents. But, I at least had wonderful, caring, generous, loving parents for as long as I did. They are an inspiration to me. Watching them die made me realize that life is too short to dwell on anything other than the positive. Why waste my time with depression, anger, jealousy and other useless, hurtful emotions? I think about what I loved most about my parents and sister and try to emulate that on a daily basis. It's not always easy, but a little voice inside of me always chides me for those moments of self-pity and selfishness. I have a choice about how I live today. I choose to be good, to be brave, to be strong, to be positive.
Thanks for all your support!
Amy
 
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