"You're Big"

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pnx1

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[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Jul-08-02 AT 07:32AM (Est)[/font][p]I have a girlfriend who has a big frame, tall (5'9"), lost weight through strict diet. I have convinced her to go with me to to go to the gym. I created a program "copied" from the PS tapes,except for the legs tape. In 3 months time, her posture has improved, she got some mass on her chest,back,shoulders, arms, and her waist got smaller.

Lately, she always gets comments like "You look BIG!!!". But they didn't call her fat that she used to be. Maybe because she got muscles, I thought. Sometimes,she get discouraged by these remarks.

Is she on the right track?

She is thinking of having a toned look, like Cathe's.Should I change her program to endurance type workouts (moderate weight, high reps)? I am thinking of giving her a new program like Slow & Heavy but I'm afraid she might get more muscles mass.
 
RE: "And your point is . . .?"

No one should be afraid of getting more muscle mass, and no one should tailor their fitness program to the stupid comments of others.

The Slow and Heavy series would be an excellent addition to her program.

Annette Q. Aquajock
 
My humble opinion is yes she is on the right track.

I get told all the time that I'm very strong. Sometimes people (male and female) will come up and grab my bicep or tricep and squish them. They don't even get near my legs because of what they look like, solid muscle.

I'm larged frame too and weigh a ton, but it doesn't bother me. Why? Because my goals are not to be skinny or tiny. I will never be that way unless I starve myself and with my physical activity regiment, I would never survive to achieve my goals.

Those strong statements bug me too from time to time. When I’m in those moods, I’m always looking for what the “hidden” meaning is. Then I start to think that there is something wrong with being strong. There isn’t. Strong is good. Muscles are sexy. Healthy is beautiful.

She is who she is and her body is what it is. It’s time to stop trying to achieve what others say and achieve what she wants out of life. Because happiness isn’t where those people are coming from, there will be other things that others will say, be it too skinny, too mousy, to whatever. It’s truly about what she wants to achieve and the heck with what others want or think.

Again, just my humble opinion.

Keta. :D

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I think it is important to realize that Cathe IS very muscular. She simply doesn't look "big" because she has no fat sitting on her muscles. That is also why she looks so "toned."

Perhaps your friend is being told she looks big because she does in fact have some of both. (I suspect that is the case really.) If that is the case, then she should keep working on losing the fat. This is of course helped by having muscle to burn calories even when at rest. As she gets leaner, she and everyone else will see that she is not as "big" (fat or muscle) as they think.

Personally, after only 3 months of weight training, I would probably still want to gain more muscle--and more strength. But if your friend is lean enough to see the real size of her muscles, and she still thinks she is too big then maybe an endurance rotation is the way to go. While I feel generally knowledgeable, I don't feel confident saying what is best for any one particular person.

Aquajock has a point that we shouldn't worry about what others think, but it isn't always so easy. More power to you if you can ignore unwanted comments!

Jeanne
 
And I have to wonder what the person who said "you look big" looks like! Anyone want to guess?
 
I have never met nor seen Cathe in person, but even though she is tremendously muscular, she still looks quite petite to me. I have never thought of her as big.

Your friend is doing more for herself than most of the population. I hope she continues to have the confidence to carry on with her exercises and ignore the ignorant comments of other people.

People who make comments like that I think subconsciously harbor a little envy towards people who keep fit becuase we serve as a reminder for everything they're NOT doing and they can't stand it!!! Ha-Ha! ;-)
 
"...Anyone want to guess?"

Calista Flockhart? Compared to her, a gnat would look big.

If you don't mind a newcomer saying so, I agree with eminenz. And I can identify with the "big" girl who's a little self-conscious, but probably in better shape than me, although I am improving thanks to Cathe and her wonderful videos.
 
Don't sweat it!

Hey, don't sweat it, and your friend shouldn't either. Keep with the weights!

Someone told me this weekend that I looked "big" in the upper body, but I decided I didn't care! I've lost a lot of weight in the last couple of years, I wear a size 6/8, but I have MUSCLES and I love it! Nothing will come between me and my weights. I'm in the middle of a slow/heavy routine now and am pushing myself hard. If my muscles get bigger, that's cool. I simply love being strong and after many years of letting other people's opinion rule my world, I've finally decided I'm happy bein' me.

If your friend is OK with the idea of being strong and fit and healthy, I hope she (and you!) won't let the judgmental opinions of others come between you and the goal. Eyes on the prize.:)
 
Sorry, I disagree

I respectfully have to disagree with the above comments. If you are large boned and have short limbs, hence short muscle bellies, your muscles will start to bulge out if you lift heavy. If I lift heavy I start to look like a football player or power lifter with massive shoulders and traps. Muscle is great to have, but for asthetic reasons, I just don't want to look like that, so I've reduced my weights and increased my repetitions and am much happier with the results. As with anything else, try it and see.
 
RE: Sorry, I disagree

But how can the original poster's friend have short limbs if she is 5'9"?

And, respectively, for the record, I also admitted that perhaps this friend was indeed happy enough with her muscle size--I just wanted to make sure it was muscle and not just fat contributing to size.

Jeanne
 
Attn: Keta

Loved your comment: "Sometimes people (male and female) will come up and grab my bicep or tricep and squish them. They don't even get near my legs because of what they look like, solid muscle."

Betcha any money if people (male and female) came up and "squished" your legs for a feel, they'd be up for sexual harassment in no time (or you'd kick-box them to Mars). Interesting isn't it? It's OK to touch another person's arm but not a leg.

I know, I know -- silly observation time!

Patricia
 
RE: Sorry, I disagree

>And, respectively, for the record, I
>also admitted that perhaps this
>friend was indeed happy enough
>with her muscle size--I just
>wanted to make sure it
>was muscle and not just
>fat contributing to size.
>
>Jeanne

I checked it out. She still has fats. ;-) Especially on her hips. She only does 1x a week of cardio. I asked her to do more cardio since her weight training works, now she needs to burn those fats.

BTW, thanks for those who gave those motivating remarks. I printed out this thread and now she's lifting more weights than ever.

I just want to share this:

Whenever I ask her to increase the weights, she always asked me - Can I lift that? I said- Sure, you can. And she did. }> I always tell her- it's all in the mind.

I am her "guardian angel". I always make sure that she doesn't miss a workout. I call her when she didn't show up. Just to motivate her to keep on going. Two days ago, I lend her 1 step video for her to start on home videofitness workout.

I showed her some of Interval Max's moves (my favorite, I guess I should be posting on the thread for exercises for men). And whenever I tell her that she'll be doing that, she always change the topic. LOL!!!
 
RE: Attn: Keta

Hi Patricia,

I forgot to add that it's when I'm in martial arts at the dojo. They are like a family there. I've got mom and dad of the dojo and twenty big brothers. They all treat me like I'm their little sister. And the higher ranking ones get highly upset if someone hurts their strong little sister.

So, I'd better add that in. Nice observation. ;)

Keta. :D

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RE: Attn: Keta

I agree with some of these posts that it doesn't really matter what other people say or think. It only REALLY matters what you feel and think. I have recently lost 18 lbs. through ww and Cathe's wonderful programs. I was very muscular before, but had fat too, so no one saw the muscle. Now I get comments all the time on my muscle definition. Some people tell me I shouldn't lose any more weight as I might look "haggard", or that I shouldn't be doing so much exercise. These are usually the ones who aren't doing a darn thing for themselves and are jealous. I bulk up very easy with weights, and I LOVE it! If I didn't have to work, I'd consider professional body building. I think muscle and definition beats "skinny" "flabby" and "mushy" by far. Your friend might consider more cardio, as that has really helped my weight loss. But I've also kept my weight work outs for the definition that looks so sexy and sleek! Most of the time it's women who make those negative remarks to me, and men are complimenting me on how good I look! Go figure!
 
Next time someone says, "you look big", or "your arms/legs look really muscular", just smile at them and say in a very pleasant tone of voice, "Thank You."

This is a great response for those who are complimenting you, and an even better response for those who are trying to be rude. I find that for these people, it's no fun for them to be petty if you don't get offended.

There is nothing wrong with being fit and healthy. Keep up the good work!
 
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