Younger Men

[jennifer-in-mi]

Hello Friends of the Forum.

Lately and a lot, any man that even notices that I'm alive is young enough to be my kid. Last week Friday, I was at a bistro with a friend for dinner and for drinks. We come out of the restaurant and this cute young guy says with the nod, "well, Hello There." My friend starts laughing and says "I believe he was talking to you." Last night, I decided on Italian take out. The minute I walk in the door, a young man just starts hitting on me. During the wait for my larger sized stromboli I received from the all male all age kitchen, I get the attention from other male customers and kitchen staff (a lot of them much younger than I). First, I am flattered by the attention. Second, I prefer to date someone my own age with similiar interests, etc.. Third, I work full time plus a full time grad. student so dating is not an option. Before school started, I felt invisible to men my own age. Sorry, I just had to vent my frustration with the whole matter.

 

[wendybdh]

Frustrated? No way. What a huge compliment because they probably don't realize you're that much older than they are. They think you're a young hottie. You go girl!

 

[SirenSongWoman]

I totally get what you're saying. I'm 47 and ever since I went from 224 to 177lbs (still losing), changed my hair and become much more confident the attention from very young men has been over the top, kind of scary and exhilarating at the same time. I think it's just one of those weird things that's become popular for young men to do... going after older women (MILF... hello). Come to think of it, I think the movie American Pie probably made it fashionable. I'm okay with younger men as long as they're mature for their age and past that whole clubbing/party till dawn faze.

As I re-enter the dating scene after a very loooooong hiatus I'm finding every type of man offers advantages and drawbacks. But because good men are hard to find (you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince) and because I always thought I'd be traveling and having a lot of fun with someone by now, I'm learning to be glad taboos have lifted and that there are a lot more options. It wasn't all that long ago that if a woman hadn't found a mate by 35 it meant a life alone.

Finally, If you are half as cute as your avatar (fresh face, gorgeous smile), I totally get it. Go for it!

 

[dss62467]

Don't knock it. I absolutely adore my "kid" BF. I noticed this whole phenom too when I hit 40. All the guys hitting on me were in their 20s. Dated one on and off for a few months, but he wanted more than he was going to get with me (marriage, kids). Then about a month after we stopped seeing each other, I started dating the guy I've been with for over 8 months. His age isn't even the tiniest factor anymore. I'd love him even if he was 40.

I don't think it actually has to do with the MILF factor, this is nothing new. I think it's more about them wanting women who don't play games and know what they want, and have confidence. I remember what I was like in my mid-twenties. It was all "is he gonna call? Should I wait until he calls before I make plans? What is he doing right now?" They like women who don't act like their happiness depends on a guy.

 

[Amy Steppe]

My husband is 14 years my junior and we have been married for 20 years.

 

[Reese777]

My husband is 14 years my junior and we have been married for 20 years.

...you little cougar you....LOL

 

[dani21496]

Frustrated? No way. What a huge compliment because they probably don't realize you're that much older than they are. They think you're a young hottie. You go girl!

Totally agree!!!!

 

[tneah]

You are complaining....why?

 

[LauraMax]

Happens to me pretty frequently too. Tiffany, I can tell you why it bothers me. It's b/c I'm pretty sure they're not hitting on me b/c of my sparkling personality. I'm almost 41, I want a real relationship w/a mature, responsible guy who appreciates me for who I am, not for what I look like. I don't want a bed buddy. Well, I don't want JUST a bed buddy.

 

[dss62467]

Happens to me pretty frequently too. Tiffany, I can tell you why it bothers me. It's b/c I'm pretty sure they're not hitting on me b/c of my sparkling personality. I'm almost 41, I want a real relationship w/a mature, responsible guy who appreciates me for who I am, not for what I look like. I don't want a bed buddy. Well, I don't want JUST a bed buddy.

Some of them...definitely! Others, not really. Amy and I can attest to that.

 

[netsnotes16]

Honey take all the compliments you can from any man! As long as they are positive. Some men are actually trained to speak kind words to a woman. I try and rear my children to say something nice to people, ie hair etc.