Would you sign a pre-nup?

W

waterlily

Cathlete
I am just wondering if any of you girls out there would be willing to sign a pre-nup or have signed one. It seems like the latest 'thing' to do before getting married. Personally, I would have signed one if my husband had asked (just may have benefited me in the long run ).

I know that when you sign a pre-nup it shows a lack of confidence in the relationship, but shouldn't we all be concerned about protecting our assets? What's your view?

;) Waterlily:)
 
I would never marry a man who asked me to sign a pre-nup. My advice...get to know the person you intend to marry very, very well and don't rush into anything. I can't imagine going into a marriage where protection against divorce is the first order of business.
 
I don't know much but I have learned to NEVER say never! My knee jerk reaction to the question is no but I'm 44 and if on the off chance I ever decided to marry again I would want to protect the property and investments that I have so in all fairness the door should swing both ways. :)

In my life I've learned to 'hope for the best and prepare for the worst', despite the divorce rates I don't believe that anyone goes into a marriage thinking it will end in divorce. I don't think that being pragmatic negates commitment to the marriage, it would be interesting to see statistics on successful marriages that started with a pre-nup.

Take Care
Laurie:)
 
I wouldn't call it a lack of confidence. It really depends upon the situation. In some cases it may be a smart thing to do. It is very hard to generalize the situation. I had some assets coming into our marriage but I decided for it to become joint with my husband (and vice versa for his). For us, it was not something that crossed our mind, period. I am only speaking to our situation, so I can't say this works for everyone. I won't say NEVER to something like this because you don't know what the future may bring in terms of life circumstances.




Live with sincerity, love with passion, and dance like you mean it.

Debbie
 
DH made some noise about one (re: his investment property) when we first got engaged. He mentioned it and honestly I thought it was obnoxious!! But I just basically shrugged and said "sure." He seemed surprised and said, "OK, great." Then he never mentioned it again. Right before we got married I said, "oh honey, what about that prenup? Can't let this gold digger get her hands on your assets." He had the decency to look embarrassed and said, "Forget that, it was a stupid idea." Hmph. :D

That said, I too think it depends on the situation.

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
I would. I've been married twice. The first time, I knew it was a mistake walking down the aisle (he was mentally ill and this only started to surface in a teensy way before the wedding, but my warning bells were going off). The second time I thought it was forever. But people change and situations change and circumstances change. And it wasn't forever. In fact, I was in the throes of the beginning of that relationship when my father passed away and left me a fairly large chunk of money. My brother, the executor of the will, made the two of us sign something that said that if ever we should separate, the money from my dad's estate was mine. I protested mightily, saying that this was forever and we loved each other. But I ended up signing. And now I'm glad my brother was so insistent. When that relationship faltered and eventually failed, I had some money to start a new life. The rest of our assets were, of course, split equally.

Well, that was probably way more than you wanted to know about me:p
 
I'm a realist. Yes, I would sign a pre-nup (I've never been asked to). These things work both ways. When DH and I went into our marriage, we both brought assets in some form into the fold.

I'd view it just as much protection for me, as for him.
 
Well, as an attorney who drafts pre-nups, I have to tell you that I'm surprised at how many VERY YOUNG clients are coming to me for pre-nups lately. They are usually the children of my wealthy clients, or people who have received large gifts from a parent or grandparent and the older family member has asked them to do it or has conditioned the gift upon it.

Young couples who have nothing and are starting out in life together do not get pre-nups, nor do they need them. But if your grandmother says to you that she wants to give you a million dollars but wants it to stay in the family and not go to some divorced spouse, you do a pre-nup and there's nothing wrong with it. The fiances I see are fine with this. The gift or inheritance is not a product of the marriage, and should not be included in the marital assets. Shelley's experience is an excellent example of this, and I'm very glad that her brother persuaded her to sign.

As for older couples with assets, these are the people I expect to see in my office. They have children from prior marriages and so forth. Often, both spouses have assets, pensions and retirement plans that should be protected. They want to pre-empt expensive litigaton and it makes sense.

-Nancy
 
And I hope you send bro a VERY nice gift with a gushy card every birthday!

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mark Twain ;-)
 
I agree with Nancy! Although, DH and I never had a pre-nup, but we didn't have much of anything, all we have accumulated was through working as a team!:) :)

Ann Marie
 
Then you tell him thanks every night when you say your prayers!

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mark Twain ;-)
 
it would depend. if dh and i were to split or whatever and was to remarry i would certainly get one. only for the interst of viola though, b/c anything dh works for i want to protect to leave for viola. but dh and i didn't have one b/c anything we do have we have worked for together so it was felt that we should split 50/50 if anything were to every happen.

kassia

http://www.picturetrail.com/ldy_solana

"And do what thee wilt as long as ye harm none"
 
Well, I would, but only because I'm older and have been married before. I have kids and I want to make sure, above all, that my kids are taken care of should anything happen. I would be devastated if I had to sell my property or divide my 401K (which is significant and my rugrats' primary college fund) because a marriage didn't work out. Particularly since something like 65% of second marriages fail.

I don't think it's assuming the worst, I think it's just being realistic about life.

Marie
 
I would and did sign a pre-nup before my marriage. Both my dh and I are attorneys and we have seen that if a fight occurs over property in a divorce the only people that win are the lawyers who get paid by the hour. It was actually my idea even though dh had substantially more assets than I did. The pre-nup only covers assets that belonged to him before we were married which I strongly believe should be his and his alone. Since our marriage we have acquired several real estate holdings and those are ours together. In case of a divorce, the properties we have together would be subject to equal distribution.

I don't see it as a sign of lack of confidence in our relationship. Both of us feel that we will never split up. But, on the other hand, one can never be 100% sure.
 
Absolutely. Highly unlikely I would remarry but I would want to be sure it would go to my kids.

My ex and I are good friends when we went through our divorce my attny wanted me to go for his father's estate, he had just passed away. His Dad lived on the west coast so I didn't know him well. My attny said I should do it for my kids. I refused - but I know a lot of other people would have done that.
 
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