will power....where's mine???

T

tknelsen

Cathlete
Is it possible that a person can be born without a single shred of will power? I have been reading some of the eating/food threads over the past several days and I am just blown away by some of you and your commitment to yourselves and your bodies. I just do not have that and I don't know if it's something I will ever be able to acquire. For those of you that have the discipline to maintain a predominantly clean diet, were you always like this, or was there a turning point in your life? I am looking for some inspiration here.

I started thinking about this yesterday as I sat eating not 1 but 2 chocolate/caramel cookies that I just took out of the oven. I didn't even like the cookies that much, but that didn't stop me from stuffing them in. And I thought (even hoped) that perhaps there was something genetically wrong with me (some missing chromosome - let's call it the self control gene).

So what's your secret?

Tracy
 
Well, let me tell ya, if I was taking chocolate caramel cookies out of the oven, I'd be eating them too. And probably more than 2!

Let me ask you this.... do you WANT to eat differently than you do? Or are you really quite satisfied with your diet and eating habits? I think that in order to change it up and start eating more clean, you have to REALLY want to do it. And it's not easy at all. There have been so many times that I've actually had my hand in the cookie bag, and at the last minute stopped myself.

I don't know that there is one single secret. But I do know that once you start eating differently, after a while you won't want those cookies and candies and treats as much. Yes, you'll still have them occasionally, and that's okay too. We're not preparing for competition here. Who the heck wants to go through life eating nothing but oatmeal and egg whites and grilled chicken for every meal? Not me!

Anyway, that probably wasn't helpful in the least, but I tried:p
 
Some people definitely do have more willpower than others! That's for sure.

But in my experience, I think it comes down to your true beliefs. For instance, when I became a vegetarian, I had absolutely no problem when I immediately stopped eating meat. I just quit one day and never looked back. Why? Because I firmly believed that I was doign the right thing for the animals and myself. That's just my opinion.

But when it comes to cutting back on cookies and stuff... I know I need to, but I like them so much! On this, right now I just keep telling myself that if I exercise enough, one little cookie won't hurt, right? But lately I've re-thought my diet and have come up against some truths that have been hidden (or that I have been hiding from....)and so it's a lot easier to watch my eating in the junk food area.
 
I do not have great will power either. However, I know that in order to reach my goals I have to be disciplined. It takes a lot of hard work and unfortunately there is no quick fix. But I just constantly ask myself "how much do you want it?" Because in my opinion, if you don't use any sort of discipline in your diet or exercise program, you just don't want it bad enough. Now I'm not saying that an occassional "treat" is not warranted every now and then, but I was eating pizza several times a week and chocolate and mexican food. I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw.
I look at it this way... eating something "unclean" we'll say, is only a temporary sense of satisfaction, but being and looking fit, and feeling healthy and strong is a satisfaction you have all day, every day. As the famous saying goes "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

The will power and motivation is there. You just have to find it and dedicate yourself to it. How important is it to you? You CAN do it! You have to find it within yourself. It's there!

The best of luck to you!

Katie
 
I do not have great will power either. However, I know that in order to reach my goals I have to be disciplined. It takes a lot of hard work and unfortunately there is no quick fix. But I just constantly ask myself "how much do you want it?" Because in my opinion, if you don't use any sort of discipline in your diet or exercise program, you just don't want it bad enough. Now I'm not saying that an occassional "treat" is not warranted every now and then, but I was eating pizza several times a week and chocolate and mexican food. I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw.
I look at it this way... eating something "unclean" we'll say, is only a temporary sense of satisfaction, but being and looking fit, and feeling healthy and strong is a satisfaction you have all day, every day. As the famous saying goes "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

The will power and motivation is there. You just have to find it and dedicate yourself to it. How important is it to you? You CAN do it! You have to find it within yourself. It's there!

The best of luck to you!

Katie
 
My will power has gotten better with practice like anyting else.
I sometimes have conversations with my self. They sort of go like this: Do I want this "whatever" more than I want to be fit and healthy? Will this "whatever" make my body better and fitter or fatter and more tired etc. If so why eat it? Yesterday it went like this..."people in other countries would consider themselves to be eating like kings if they ate half of what I eat in one day" (yeah I know the old people are starving in China discussion).
But having said that, I have to also treat myself once in awhile. Today I am having a donut! But I try to make sure that I watch it the rest of the day, or work out a little more, whatever it takes.
Balance and making my body and it's nutrition a priority is the key for me. Good luck.

Paula
 
>Well, let me tell ya, if I was taking chocolate caramel
>cookies out of the oven, I'd be eating them too. And probably
>more than 2!
>

I'd do the same!

One 'trick' is to just not have the foods around.
I just went to the health food store yesterday, where they sell these luscious chocolate-mint cookies (vegan, but not 'whole foods" !). I was thinking of buying a bag, but I KNOW if I buy a bag, I will eat the bag in a short period of time. So, yesterday, at least, I had the willpower to say 'no' to the cookies. And since they aren't in my house, I can't gobble them down (which I would have done at that time!).

This is an example of having willpower AT THE RIGHT TIME! Usually, that's when grocery shopping. It helps to eat something satisfying before you shop, or have a tasty, yet nutritious, snack available in your car, so you can tell yourself (*I* can tell *myself* !) that I don't need the (tempting trigger food), I have (tasty healthy food) in the car.

Or change your definition of "treats." A perfectly ripe mango, for example, is a treat for me.

Really all 'clean eating" (a term I really dislike because it is so jugemental and not clear: I prefer the term "whole foods eating" ) is about choices. Do you choose to satisfy your jones for sweets withh a candy bar or fruit? With something nutrient poor but calori dense, or something nutrient dense that is actually what your body craves (nutrients, not sugar, etc.).

I plan on being around for a whle, and this is the only body I get, so I feel it's my responsibility to take care of it the best I can (some, if not MOSST, people take better care of their cars than they do their bodies! I prefer to fuel my body with 'premium" and not some cheapo fuel!).
 
> I think it comes down to your true
>beliefs. For instance, when I became a vegetarian, I had
>absolutely no problem when I immediately stopped eating meat.
>I just quit one day and never looked back. Why? Because I
>firmly believed that I was doign the right thing for the
>animals and myself. That's just my opinion.
>
>But when it comes to cutting back on cookies and stuff... I
>know I need to, but I like them so much!

I agree!

And as for "eating 'clean'" (have I mentioned I hate the term?;-) ), it does take retraining your taste buds. If my 15-18 year-old-self looked at my current self, I'd probaly say "yuk! how can you eat that!" (Of course, the present me looks back with the same disgust!)

I grew up on Pepsi and chips and potatos fried in bacon grease (withh some bread crumbs added at the end to soak up the extra greasee, and make it crispy!), candy (which my many, many fillings and crowns can attest to!), bags of doritos (usually to satisfy a case of alcohol or pot-induced 'munchies'). I used to hate 'dark' bread (white bread rocked!).

And I used to use sugar almost like a supplement (on grapefruit, tomates, even oranges and celery sticks). (while typing this, I notice I have a "Mr Icky" look on my face, so I'd better stop soon, or my face will stay that way!!)

On the other hand, my stepmother always prepared fairly healthy meals (though she overcooked veggies a lot) and we ate at home most of the time (except for some oocasional greasy burgers from a local bar that my dad would pick up once in a while). And we had a garden every summer, and I liked the fresh veggies. So the basis for good eating was there. I just didn't appreciate it. (SM even made a meal chart where she gave me a gold star for eating well, a silver star for good but not great, etc. because I often refused to eat the good stuff, and instead gravitated to the junk dad brough home).

Since I've seen the effects of a lifetime of eating the Standard American Diet (my father diet of colon cancer, which is very much linked to diet and almost predictable, had I known then what I know now, seeing his diet of fatty meats, processed foods, luch meats, etc.).
 
I don't believe in will power. I believe in habit. Look at what Paula said..."My will power has gotten better with practice like anything else". She's not gaining will power, she is creating a habit of eating healthy and not eating junk. It is all about forming a habit....which takes 21 days, btw.

It also takes drive and determination. Shelley mentioned being elbow high in the cookie bag yet STILL put it away without having a cookie (GREAT JOB, btw). She knew that eating the cookie (or cookies) would not make her feel better, but probably worse. She may have known that 1 cookie leads to 2 cookies, then to 3, then to..."oops, we are out of cookies"....whereas NO cookies leads to, well...no cookies. She knew that she wanted her goal way more than that cookie! I am sure she felt great putting them away without demolishing the bag.

You have to talk to yourself and you have to start on a day that is a good eating day, when you are eating well and have no cravings. Write your goals down and remind yourself of the frequently. Control your environment. If chips are a problem...no chips in the house. Keeping them around for other family members is an excuse...they don't need that crap either. Besides, they need to support your efforts and agree to healthier cupboards. My DH keeps treats in his desk at work, not in the house. He can eat Halloween candy all day at work, if he wants to but that crap doesn't need to be in the house. That way, if I have a weak moment...it's just not in my path.

So, set goals, control your environment and form healthier habits.
 
Well I can't add much more to the advice you've already received but it would be interesting to ask everyone on this forum...what did they eat when they were growing up?

In my family, we only ate meals that my mother cooked herself. We didn't eat junk, not that there was that much junk to be had back in the 60's, but my mother never bought pop, candy bars, packaged cookies or anything like that. She baked at home and we ate appropriate portion's. Even my father was not a big eater like my husband is. But my H grew up in a house where everything they ate came from a can or a box and they ate gigantic portion's. They drank pop day and night, never water. My H also grew up on a steady diet of potato chips. In my family, we never had potatoe chips or any of that type of stuff. My mother grew popcorn in the garden and that was such a treat for us! So was her homemade fudge that we would eat with a spoon.

So, I think bad eating habits are learned eating habits. And good eating habits are also learned eating habits.
 
I'm not sure will power is the issue with most eating problems. Note that I said eating problems, not disorders. I am in no way capable of addressing eating disorders.
I have struggled with overeating most of my life. I frequently fall into the dark pit of despair caused by the belief that what I eat determines whether I am good or bad. Some days I have no problem eating just one small Nestle treasure after dinner, while other days I eat half the bag. Sometimes I can stick to a diet plan for months and come within reach of my goal weight. Other times I can't get past breakfast without overeating. I'm sure there are issues here that I am either too afraid or too lazy to address, but I don't think it's simply a matter of will power.
It isn't difficult for me, on the other hand, to make a workout plan and stick to it. Maybe it's easier to make myself do something (workout) than to make myself NOT do something (overeat). And it probably helps that I actually like to work out.
Don't beat yourself up or try comparing yourself to others. The women here are an inspiration and very supportive, but you are not them. You are you. Try to be the best person YOU can be, and when you feel you've fallen short, try, try again.
 
>I'm not sure will power is the issue with most eating
>problems. Note that I said eating problems, not disorders. I
>am in no way capable of addressing eating disorders.
>I have struggled with overeating most of my life. I frequently
>fall into the dark pit of despair caused by the belief that
>what I eat determines whether I am good or bad. Some days I
>have no problem eating just one small Nestle treasure after
>dinner, while other days I eat half the bag. Sometimes I can
>stick to a diet plan for months and come within reach of my
>goal weight. Other times I can't get past breakfast without
>overeating. I'm sure there are issues here that I am either
>too afraid or too lazy to address, but I don't think it's
>simply a matter of will power.


You are singing the story of my life!!!

Thanks for the words of encouragement from everyone.
It's not so much the what I eat that is the problem, but the how much. I don't eat processed food or snacks like chips, soda,etc. It's just that sometimes my brain and body don't connect when sending those messages like "gee, you just ate more than enough - stop now before it's too late!" I really, really, really like to eat food, and lots of it. I just wish I didn't like it so much so I could drop the extra 10 lbs. I've acquired through all the overeating. I wish I wanted to be lean more than I wanted to have the homemade cannelloni and glass of red wine (that I had last night for dinner, after the cookies, and I didn't even mention the two scoops of cookie dough that preceeded the baked cookies!)

Oh well, every day is a new one! There's always hope for the future.

Tracy
 
>Oh well, every day is a new one! There's always hope for the
>future.


That's the right attitude. And all things in moderation. I know what you mean about the quantity thing. My brain also seems to turn off until whatever is in front of me is all gone, whether I was hungry or not. And I can make all kinds of excuses about why I should eat something. I worked hard today, I don't feel good, I do feel good, etc etc. I'm really trying to focus on not belittling myself anymore for being "bad." In fact, I'm trying to over come the whole bad-day/good-day mind set. I keep telling myself that I look pretty good compared to all the rest of the 50-somethings I know. Of course, that doesn't include the truely awesome women here. As Wendy (fit mom) said one day when I was feeling low "Don't ever give up."
 
Of course, one can't be expected to do things in moderation when on vacation, right???

I am so glad that I'm not the only one who tries to rationalize every morsel of food that enters my mouth!

I am trying to pull myself out of a several-month long slump of feeling really, really bad about myself. It really takes a toll on the spirit and self-esteem to be on what feels like a never-ending roller-coaster ride. So, I too am trying to embrace the "everything in moderation" mindset. Unfortunately, I don't think they have a word for that in German. However, I am familar with *"noch ein bier, bitte!!!"

Tracy



*"another beer, please!"
 
Another beer? Darn, did I miss the first few????!!x(

Tracy, as you can tell, right now my will power sucks (PMS) so I really shouldn't be posting here, huh.:p
 
For me it comes down to "Do I want the cookies more than I want to weigh 128?" I like being the weight where I'm at now, and wearing the size that I wear, so I'll take that over the cookies I'd much rather be eating than the big salad I have every day for lunch.

It's a trade off, which may be over simplifying it.
Just Do It! :)
 
Hey....I am farrrrrr from being full of willpower, but I am very proud to say that three boxes of gilr scout cookies are sitting in my pantry and not one has touched or will touch my lips. Since I visited my friend Amy(my wonderful nutritionist)my cravings for that kind of stuff has slowly but surely gone away. But that being said, if I really, really wanted one, and I thought I could handle the one, I would go for it.....ya only live once.....but just remember: the first few bites are the best anyway....then get rid of the rest. But I really think it is all about making sure you are giving your body enough of the good stuff....then it doesn't crave.....

Donna
 
Gosh, it's not a mortal sin to have a cookie, especially if you eat well most of the time....if it is then I really don't want to be a saint.

I have to go now....I think I have a box of Newman O's Hint'O Mint Creme Filled chocolate cookies calling me from the pantry.

Robin
 
I've recently come across a book that I'm just starting to read which I've found quite interesting. I'd thought I'd share the link in case you're interested. http://www.amihungry.com/

I've only read the website and just got the book the other day, but it seems to address this issue of eating when you're really not hungry. I've really liked the article on their site, so I ordered the book.

One quote from the author's story (who is a Dr.):
"She felt discouraged and ashamed. How do you help someone do something you haven't been able to do yourself? She knew it was time to try again but it didn't seem fair--- her husband and children never dieted and they never struggled with their weight. In fact, they ate whatever they wanted, but they rarely ate more than they needed.

Did they just have a better metabolism? That was probably part of it. She knew hers was a mess after years of overeating and dieting. Did they have more willpower? No. It seemed unlikely that they would have been able to follow a diet for very long either. But there was something else, something fundamentally different about the way they thought about food. In fact, they didn't really think about food at all---unless they were hungry.

One thing that I found kind of fun is this list
http://www.amihungry.com/pdf/101_things_to_do_besides_eat.pdf

Any way, I just thought I'd post it because it's given me some useful information that I thought was helpful.

Good luck!
Lindzebird
 
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