this weekend was my bachelor/bachelorette party in the keys. my fiance' and I just had a group of our closest friends down to go fish and hang out. i decided that i was just going to relax and really enjoy myself. as i'm out on the boat and enjoying my surroundings i just started pondering. Will all of this matter in the end? And i'm talking about diet and exercise. Yes, its important to eat healthy and be active but i'm the type of person that is all or nothing and sometimes i'm way harder on myself than i need to be. I schedule everything, workout 5 days a week religiously, rarely cheat and i just asked myself this weekend, for what? why am i trying to be soooo perfect and missing out on enjoying things around me for what i think i should be doing. its so stupid. so after this weekend i have decided that i need to enjoy life just a bit more and not stress over everything. i just want to be healthy and live a happy life. after all, isn't that what we all want? when did i become so regimented and strict with myself? when i'm on my death bed and looking back at my life, i don't want to say i missed out on enjoying things b/c i was worried of putting on a single extra pound. just wanted to share.
will it matter in the end????
- Thread starter kariev
- Start date
april71rn
Cathlete
I know what you mean. My aunt is really chubby and is one of the happiest and most cheerful people I know. She refuses to exercise (I have offered to be her "personal trainer") but she's not interested and she eats terribly. I LOVE to exercise and look forward to it 5-6 days a week, but I have to get it done before I do anything else that day or feel like I'm being bad or actually feel worse when I don't exercise. I also feel like a weirdo when I eat around other people because they eat what they want and I try to eat clean and drink water. My husband also thinks my exercise and diet are silly to him, so yes sometimes I wonder if I'd be just as happy if I did't stress over it so much and maybe gained some weight and learned to live with it. I freak when the scale goes up now.
sparrow13
Cathlete
>this weekend was my bachelor/bachelorette party in the keys.
>my fiance' and I just had a group of our closest friends down
>to go fish and hang out. i decided that i was just going to
>relax and really enjoy myself. as i'm out on the boat and
>enjoying my surroundings i just started pondering. Will all
>of this matter in the end? And i'm talking about diet and
>exercise. Yes, its important to eat healthy and be active but
>i'm the type of person that is all or nothing and sometimes
>i'm way harder on myself than i need to be. I schedule
>everything, workout 5 days a week religiously, rarely cheat
>and i just asked myself this weekend, for what? why am i
>trying to be soooo perfect and missing out on enjoying things
>around me for what i think i should be doing. its so stupid.
>so after this weekend i have decided that i need to enjoy life
>just a bit more and not stress over everything. i just want
>to be healthy and live a happy life. after all, isn't that
>what we all want? when did i become so regimented and strict
>with myself? when i'm on my death bed and looking back at my
>life, i don't want to say i missed out on enjoying things b/c
>i was worried of putting on a single extra pound. just wanted
>to share.
Congrats on your revelation!
I don't know that it will matter in the end. What does matter is the here and now. I think if your health and fitness routine is a wretched burden in your life, then you're wise to change it up. I think we often forget that there's a mental and spiritual aspect to fitness as well. What's the use of being healthy in your body if you are spiritually and emotionally devastated by the pressure you're putting on yourself? There's a middle ground and it seems like you might have found it.
Honestly you sound like me a few years back. I used to be soooo rigid about my diet and exercise and I must say life was not much fun. Every day was about what I had eaten, what I was going to eat, how much exercise I had done, blah blah blah. I too had my personal epiphany and now I find the joy in healthy living, not just the "don't" and "shouldn't." I feel better and look great and no, I'm not just saying that. Letting go of the rigidity allowed me to find a lot more motivation that I originally had.
Good luck to you!!
Sparrow
"The winds of grace are always blowing but it's you who must raise your sail." - Sri Ramakrishna
>my fiance' and I just had a group of our closest friends down
>to go fish and hang out. i decided that i was just going to
>relax and really enjoy myself. as i'm out on the boat and
>enjoying my surroundings i just started pondering. Will all
>of this matter in the end? And i'm talking about diet and
>exercise. Yes, its important to eat healthy and be active but
>i'm the type of person that is all or nothing and sometimes
>i'm way harder on myself than i need to be. I schedule
>everything, workout 5 days a week religiously, rarely cheat
>and i just asked myself this weekend, for what? why am i
>trying to be soooo perfect and missing out on enjoying things
>around me for what i think i should be doing. its so stupid.
>so after this weekend i have decided that i need to enjoy life
>just a bit more and not stress over everything. i just want
>to be healthy and live a happy life. after all, isn't that
>what we all want? when did i become so regimented and strict
>with myself? when i'm on my death bed and looking back at my
>life, i don't want to say i missed out on enjoying things b/c
>i was worried of putting on a single extra pound. just wanted
>to share.
Congrats on your revelation!
I don't know that it will matter in the end. What does matter is the here and now. I think if your health and fitness routine is a wretched burden in your life, then you're wise to change it up. I think we often forget that there's a mental and spiritual aspect to fitness as well. What's the use of being healthy in your body if you are spiritually and emotionally devastated by the pressure you're putting on yourself? There's a middle ground and it seems like you might have found it. Honestly you sound like me a few years back. I used to be soooo rigid about my diet and exercise and I must say life was not much fun. Every day was about what I had eaten, what I was going to eat, how much exercise I had done, blah blah blah. I too had my personal epiphany and now I find the joy in healthy living, not just the "don't" and "shouldn't." I feel better and look great and no, I'm not just saying that. Letting go of the rigidity allowed me to find a lot more motivation that I originally had.
Good luck to you!!
Sparrow
"The winds of grace are always blowing but it's you who must raise your sail." - Sri Ramakrishna
banslug
Cathlete
I am so glad I opened and read your post!
Yesterday I participated in a Mini Relay For Life event that opened my eyes to a LOT of things. Personally, I've been struggling with this "all or nothing" mentality that you talk about. Yesterday's event....seeing these folks speak about their battle with cancer, and to hear my MOM say that what she wants is for her "grandchildren to worry about getting a B+ in science rather than worry about getting cancer". It really had me thinking that we NEED....absolutely NEED to open our eyes and distinguish between what is really important and what IS NOT important. These folks, my mom included, my late DH, ALL THESE FOLKS are fighting (or fought and lost) a battle with something BEYOND their control and here we are (some of us) making ourselves CRAZY by things that we CAN control.
I mean, if/when I reach the comfy size 4 I strive for, will I be happy? Like my mom said, I'd rather much worry about having fun with my kids and teaching them to BE HAPPY with themselves AND enjoy life.
Eyes Wide Open.
Gayle
Yesterday I participated in a Mini Relay For Life event that opened my eyes to a LOT of things. Personally, I've been struggling with this "all or nothing" mentality that you talk about. Yesterday's event....seeing these folks speak about their battle with cancer, and to hear my MOM say that what she wants is for her "grandchildren to worry about getting a B+ in science rather than worry about getting cancer". It really had me thinking that we NEED....absolutely NEED to open our eyes and distinguish between what is really important and what IS NOT important. These folks, my mom included, my late DH, ALL THESE FOLKS are fighting (or fought and lost) a battle with something BEYOND their control and here we are (some of us) making ourselves CRAZY by things that we CAN control.
I mean, if/when I reach the comfy size 4 I strive for, will I be happy? Like my mom said, I'd rather much worry about having fun with my kids and teaching them to BE HAPPY with themselves AND enjoy life.
Eyes Wide Open.
Gayle
I really enjoyed reading these posts!!
One of the things I enjoy most in my life is the challenge of exercise, pushing yourself to do something once thought impossible, in my opinion, makes life worth living!
My exercise routine allows me to enjoy my life in the here and now..It has helped to relieve depression, given me more energy, added more years to my life, and I mean quality years, I don't just want to breathe, I want to live!
I'm going to Disney World from May 5-11, and the last thing in the world I'm going to be thinking about is Pyramid Upper this, Kick, Punch, and Crunch that, and just focus on having fun.
My wife and I are both of the same mind when we say we are living for the here and now...we don't have a whopping bank account, and we don't believe in saving for a rainy day, we are going to enjoy the ride, and for me, exercise is part of the ride, and a pleasurable one at that!
I never focus on the end result, it's the journey that I'm into!
Without exercise, there'd be no Cathe road trip, no 104 new friends to meet...now that is what makes all of this worthwhile in my book...
:7
One of the things I enjoy most in my life is the challenge of exercise, pushing yourself to do something once thought impossible, in my opinion, makes life worth living!
My exercise routine allows me to enjoy my life in the here and now..It has helped to relieve depression, given me more energy, added more years to my life, and I mean quality years, I don't just want to breathe, I want to live!
I'm going to Disney World from May 5-11, and the last thing in the world I'm going to be thinking about is Pyramid Upper this, Kick, Punch, and Crunch that, and just focus on having fun.
My wife and I are both of the same mind when we say we are living for the here and now...we don't have a whopping bank account, and we don't believe in saving for a rainy day, we are going to enjoy the ride, and for me, exercise is part of the ride, and a pleasurable one at that!
I never focus on the end result, it's the journey that I'm into!
Without exercise, there'd be no Cathe road trip, no 104 new friends to meet...now that is what makes all of this worthwhile in my book...
:7
yes, it does.
My Dad is a cancer survior, age 71, cause he took very good care of himself nutritionally and physically all his life. He survived a very nasty bone cancer (aggressive b cell lymphoma or Burkett's).
A friend of mine, age 51, is an aerobics instructor and high school teacher, she survived ovarian cancer with only one round of chemo.
Both of them know what they did in their younger years will affect them when they got older. Thank GOD, they're both here today.
It may not prevent you from getting the disease but it will help your chances for a better quality of life after treatment.
After my Dad was diagnosed with cancer and confirming my grandparents (his side) both died of cancer, my doctor told me my chances of getting some form of the disease was over 50%. He told me to keep working out and eating right.
My Dad is a cancer survior, age 71, cause he took very good care of himself nutritionally and physically all his life. He survived a very nasty bone cancer (aggressive b cell lymphoma or Burkett's).
A friend of mine, age 51, is an aerobics instructor and high school teacher, she survived ovarian cancer with only one round of chemo.
Both of them know what they did in their younger years will affect them when they got older. Thank GOD, they're both here today.
It may not prevent you from getting the disease but it will help your chances for a better quality of life after treatment.
After my Dad was diagnosed with cancer and confirming my grandparents (his side) both died of cancer, my doctor told me my chances of getting some form of the disease was over 50%. He told me to keep working out and eating right.
JT - what kind of nutrition plan does your dad follow now? My mom had breast cancer that was "treated" with a lumpectomy and chemo. They said it had not spread. Later they determined it had spread. It's now in her bones. One doc has her on chemo, but a doc at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta says she does not need chemo. She is trying to focus on nutrition now, but we here so many different opinions about what she should do.
banslug
Cathlete
Natalie-I just thought I'd tell you: I checked out a really good book from the library when my mom was first diagnosed last summer. I think it's called Eating Well Thru Cancer. We found it very VERY helpful. The book was broken down my symptoms...each symptom was its own chapter and it went into detail about why certain foods and combo of foods was good or bad for that symptom.
Gayle
Gayle
berry99
Cathlete
kariev, I know what you mean. I have been thinking the same thing lately. So, I have changed some things. I have 5 workouts scheduled for each weekday. I finish them all in 60 min and never workout longer. That leaves the 2 weekend days free for anything that I want to do. Also, it helps to workout those 5 days knowing that I have 2 days off on the weekend. I have started being less strict with diet too. I just wish that I didn't obsess about this stuff all the time.
Hello Natalie.
My Dad was a vegan prior to his treatment. He had not eaten beef in over 30 years. He was thin before he got cancer, and during treatment, it got scary cause he was not putting on weight. My suggestion from a Catheite, he got a nutritionist on his medical team at Mayo. Then, things turned around for him.
Now, one year post cancer, he eats beef. There is a former Dairy Queen in their small city that only buys local from the farmers. Plus, just about anything he wants. He doesn't indulge with fries still. Being a retired physcian and missionary, he is now truly loving life.
For your Mom, I would find out if the cancer did masticize or not. What stage she is at and what treatment options are out there for her too. Make sure she has a nutritionist working on her case and determine her patient advocate, if she's not her own. Before my Dad got transferred to Mayo, we were faxing his test results to them for second opinon on treatment. The hospital that he was at wanted to treat him but the family determined otherwise.
Hope your Mom gets better soon.
My Dad was a vegan prior to his treatment. He had not eaten beef in over 30 years. He was thin before he got cancer, and during treatment, it got scary cause he was not putting on weight. My suggestion from a Catheite, he got a nutritionist on his medical team at Mayo. Then, things turned around for him.
Now, one year post cancer, he eats beef. There is a former Dairy Queen in their small city that only buys local from the farmers. Plus, just about anything he wants. He doesn't indulge with fries still. Being a retired physcian and missionary, he is now truly loving life.
For your Mom, I would find out if the cancer did masticize or not. What stage she is at and what treatment options are out there for her too. Make sure she has a nutritionist working on her case and determine her patient advocate, if she's not her own. Before my Dad got transferred to Mayo, we were faxing his test results to them for second opinon on treatment. The hospital that he was at wanted to treat him but the family determined otherwise.
Hope your Mom gets better soon.
Connie12
Cathlete
Hi kariev,
I've been struggling with finding a balance with exercise and eating heathfully too. Actually, for quite a while! x( :7 About 5 years ago I lost 75 pounds, felt great, did scheduled workouts usually 6 days a week, kept an immaculate food log, and basically my whole life revolved around my health. I was happy with that- most of the time. I still needed to lose another 70 pounds to reach my goal weight, but I knew I was on the right track.
About 2 years ago I started having some family issues and began to eat emotionally- and regained about 10 pounds. Then I uprooted myself from Memphis, TN to Naples, FL last August. I found out 5 months later that I had uterine cancer. That kind of cancer is fed by excess estrogen. One of things that causes excess estrogen is excess fat. Luckily, my gyn found it very early and it was cured by a hysterectomy. My gyn told me that losing that much weight a few years back is probably what made the cancer so easy to treat. He also said that losing the rest of the weight would, of course, be best for my body. So, I definitely believe all that "extreme" focus 5 years ago definitely made a positive difference in my life and my health.
Now, I am getting down to the business of losing these "last" 70 pounds in a more balanced, self-loving, and fun-focused way. I feel quite sure that balance is what I missing 5 years ago...and that makes me wonder if I had found it back then if I could have avoided that cancer all together... I don't dwell on it, though, because it turned out okay. ;-)
Thanks for reading!
I've been struggling with finding a balance with exercise and eating heathfully too. Actually, for quite a while! x( :7 About 5 years ago I lost 75 pounds, felt great, did scheduled workouts usually 6 days a week, kept an immaculate food log, and basically my whole life revolved around my health. I was happy with that- most of the time. I still needed to lose another 70 pounds to reach my goal weight, but I knew I was on the right track.
About 2 years ago I started having some family issues and began to eat emotionally- and regained about 10 pounds. Then I uprooted myself from Memphis, TN to Naples, FL last August. I found out 5 months later that I had uterine cancer. That kind of cancer is fed by excess estrogen. One of things that causes excess estrogen is excess fat. Luckily, my gyn found it very early and it was cured by a hysterectomy. My gyn told me that losing that much weight a few years back is probably what made the cancer so easy to treat. He also said that losing the rest of the weight would, of course, be best for my body. So, I definitely believe all that "extreme" focus 5 years ago definitely made a positive difference in my life and my health.
Now, I am getting down to the business of losing these "last" 70 pounds in a more balanced, self-loving, and fun-focused way. I feel quite sure that balance is what I missing 5 years ago...and that makes me wonder if I had found it back then if I could have avoided that cancer all together... I don't dwell on it, though, because it turned out okay. ;-)
Thanks for reading!
Gayle and Jennifer - thanks for the info. She has worked with a nutritionist, but sometimes it seems like this guy is just out to sell supplements. I have suggested she get a 3rd opinion from possibly the Mayo Clinic or MD Anderson.
Kariev - I'm sorry - I didn't mean to hijack your post. I think you should have a regular cheat day - once a week or once every two weeks. That helps me a lot! If I had to exercise every day and could never have the occasional dessert or cheeseburger, I would not be able to stick to my (relatively) clean eating.
Kariev - I'm sorry - I didn't mean to hijack your post. I think you should have a regular cheat day - once a week or once every two weeks. That helps me a lot! If I had to exercise every day and could never have the occasional dessert or cheeseburger, I would not be able to stick to my (relatively) clean eating.
I agree with Jerry; you have to have fun in life, but if you're constantly thinking about what you're eating and whether you're working out enough, well, how much fun is that?
I'm a true believer in enjoying life and taking advantage of those vacation-from-realty moments. How often do you get to go to the Keys?? So, you let go a little--you'll be back in the "real world" soon enough. It's not like you're going to undo years of hard work and dedication in one vacation.
And you can still exercise without making it "work." When DH & I go on vacation, we make our exercise conducive to where we are: Italy? We walked A LOT. The Beach? Walking, biking, kayaking. NYC? Walking(like over the Brooklyn Bridge for PIZZA!!!!) The last thing I want to do on vacation is to be cooped up in a hotel room working out when there's all this new scenery outside to be taken in.
So the answer (for me) is: "yes, it matters, but it shouldn't control your whole life." Let go, girl!!! ;-)
I'm a true believer in enjoying life and taking advantage of those vacation-from-realty moments. How often do you get to go to the Keys?? So, you let go a little--you'll be back in the "real world" soon enough. It's not like you're going to undo years of hard work and dedication in one vacation.
And you can still exercise without making it "work." When DH & I go on vacation, we make our exercise conducive to where we are: Italy? We walked A LOT. The Beach? Walking, biking, kayaking. NYC? Walking(like over the Brooklyn Bridge for PIZZA!!!!) The last thing I want to do on vacation is to be cooped up in a hotel room working out when there's all this new scenery outside to be taken in.
So the answer (for me) is: "yes, it matters, but it shouldn't control your whole life." Let go, girl!!! ;-)
kathryn
Cathlete
> She is trying to focus
>on nutrition now, but we here so many different opinions about
>what she should do.
Check out "The rave diet and lifestyle". www.ravediet.com . The DVD has several testimonials of people (two of them doctors) who followed the diet to help with cancer recovery.
>on nutrition now, but we here so many different opinions about
>what she should do.
Check out "The rave diet and lifestyle". www.ravediet.com . The DVD has several testimonials of people (two of them doctors) who followed the diet to help with cancer recovery.
tamaralnorton
Cathlete
Karley,
Can't agree with you more. It must have been in the air this weekend because my fiancee and I went to San Antonio to get away for the weekend and I was dead set on sticking to my nutrition plan as I have been. But then I started thinking, "when am I going to be able to enjoy myself with my fiancee like this again? We're finally away, alone together and enjoying the weekend in a beautiful city." So, I didn't go *crazy* crazy, but I had some ice cream, ate at Hard Rock Cafe, had a few drinks and said to myself, "Monday's right around the corner!" And here we are! I think we all need to "loosen our belts" every once in a while - especially us Cathe-ites! We are so strict with ourselves and really work hard to get what we want - a treat every now and then is just what we need, so, no worries! I really hope you were able to enjoy your weekend afterall
Can't agree with you more. It must have been in the air this weekend because my fiancee and I went to San Antonio to get away for the weekend and I was dead set on sticking to my nutrition plan as I have been. But then I started thinking, "when am I going to be able to enjoy myself with my fiancee like this again? We're finally away, alone together and enjoying the weekend in a beautiful city." So, I didn't go *crazy* crazy, but I had some ice cream, ate at Hard Rock Cafe, had a few drinks and said to myself, "Monday's right around the corner!" And here we are! I think we all need to "loosen our belts" every once in a while - especially us Cathe-ites! We are so strict with ourselves and really work hard to get what we want - a treat every now and then is just what we need, so, no worries! I really hope you were able to enjoy your weekend afterall
gogigi
Cathlete
I also think exercising for health and exercising for purely cosmetic purposes gives one a different focus and mindset. I agree that there needs to be balance in life. My hubby and I were talking about some major fitness purchases, thinking about the money, and how much of our life we really wanted to devote to this and we determined we really weren't going after that perfectly, cut beach body and that we wanted to be healthy. That being said, there are times I follow a rotation b/c I have a specific cosmetic goal in mind but a lot of times, I'm just working out to what I enjoy to keep my heart pumping and my muscles working. I need to eat healthier and continue working out and some cosmetic changes have and will take place but it will do so without my obsessing over it all the time. I think what matters is health and doing the best you can to take care of yourself but that doesn't mean be-moaning or feeling guilty over a missed workout or two or enjoying a dessert then feeling like you have to make up for it with a marthon workout (I've never done that...no, not me... ). I really do enjoy working out for the most part and I do enjoy finding and following different rotations to shake up my routine and to prevent boredom and at times I stress over the fact that I couldn't get in all my scheduled workouts for that week, but I've definitely gotten more relaxed in that area.
I think you've come to a good place in your observations and I say good for you! Enjoy your new found mindset and freedom from obsessing over every morsel of food and every minute of workout!:7 Angela
). I really do enjoy working out for the most part and I do enjoy finding and following different rotations to shake up my routine and to prevent boredom and at times I stress over the fact that I couldn't get in all my scheduled workouts for that week, but I've definitely gotten more relaxed in that area.I think you've come to a good place in your observations and I say good for you! Enjoy your new found mindset and freedom from obsessing over every morsel of food and every minute of workout!:7 Angela
intensityjunkie
Cathlete
I agree with some comments here in that I want exercise to enhance my life not RULE it. My sons birthday was yesterday and I ate PIZZA and CAKE. felt kinda sick afterwards since I never eat like that (lol) but I allow myself splurges and don't let myself feel guilty about it. I just do good "most of the time" and it makes me feel better and enjoy life better. I also take time off of workouts if on a trip or busy with other things.. then just try to jump back in when I can. I'm not going to loose sleep over it. It's not my goal to be the most fit woman in the world.. just to be in good shape and generally healthy.
And I do have more important things in life than fitness/eating clean.
and it makes me feel better and enjoy life better. I also take time off of workouts if on a trip or busy with other things.. then just try to jump back in when I can. I'm not going to loose sleep over it. It's not my goal to be the most fit woman in the world.. just to be in good shape and generally healthy. And I do have more important things in life than fitness/eating clean.
Fit_mommy
Cathlete
Working out, eating right, being fit and being healthy....
They are all great things that I wish everyone in this country would strive for BUT you don't have to work out every day for an hour+ a day, never eat a cookie or a piece of candy, never miss a work out, never have a drink, etc in order to achieve all of the above things. Moderation will get you there. Perhaps you won't be quite as lean or quite as cut as you might be had you NOT eaten that cookie, or NOT taken that extra rest day, or NOT had those 3 drinks when you went out with your girlfriends on a friday night but you have to decide what is more important to you. You are absolutely right that you need to allow yourself to ENJOY LIFE a little bit! I am quite regimented with my work outs and my diet MOST of the time but I allow myself plenty of leeway in order to enjoy life too. If I didn't, I'd be miserable and it's just not worth it.
Congrats on making this decision now go out and ENJOY IT!:+
They are all great things that I wish everyone in this country would strive for BUT you don't have to work out every day for an hour+ a day, never eat a cookie or a piece of candy, never miss a work out, never have a drink, etc in order to achieve all of the above things. Moderation will get you there. Perhaps you won't be quite as lean or quite as cut as you might be had you NOT eaten that cookie, or NOT taken that extra rest day, or NOT had those 3 drinks when you went out with your girlfriends on a friday night but you have to decide what is more important to you. You are absolutely right that you need to allow yourself to ENJOY LIFE a little bit! I am quite regimented with my work outs and my diet MOST of the time but I allow myself plenty of leeway in order to enjoy life too. If I didn't, I'd be miserable and it's just not worth it.
Congrats on making this decision now go out and ENJOY IT!:+
MadnNatsmom
Cathlete
Yes, absolutely. I see it all around me - my friends I've known since we were in our 20s are now in our 40s and I see a HUGE difference in the way they look, their complexion, their energy level, the level of activity . . .
We went hiking on one of the smaller trails at Yosemite last summer. I was the only one who was able to keep up with the younger kids.
You don't have to be so regimented and I think that as you grow older and gain more wisdom you'll "loosen up." And, if you decide to have children, that will REALLY loosen you up.
You have to find a balance between "I might as well live it up because I can die tomorrow" and "I'd better be careful of everything since I'm going to live another 50+ years."
We went hiking on one of the smaller trails at Yosemite last summer. I was the only one who was able to keep up with the younger kids.
You don't have to be so regimented and I think that as you grow older and gain more wisdom
you'll "loosen up." And, if you decide to have children, that will REALLY loosen you up.You have to find a balance between "I might as well live it up because I can die tomorrow" and "I'd better be careful of everything since I'm going to live another 50+ years."