Why men are never depressed

JennieR

Cathlete
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it


*♥´¨)
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(¸.•♥´ (¸ ;.♥•Jennie•♥
 
I have a real issue with this post!!!!!!!! As a male...I can honestly tell you the following....

Chocolate is not a snack, it is a MEAL...get it right!

I see wrinkles in my clothes all the time, you'd think by now the little woman would know how to iron...sheesh!!!:7

people stare at my chest all of the time...Note to self...time to lose that t-shirt that says...Hey You, Stare at my chest, or else!

Who feels like opening their own jars, my wife does most of the cooking, she can handle jar opening while I lie around in my underwear that cost a heck of a lot more than $8.95 for a 3 pack!!

If someone forgets to invite me somewhere, they're toast.

Oh yeah, one more thing, most people hang up on me a lot quicker than 30 seconds, so there!

Time to go splash on some Old Spice and go find an arm wrestling contest...:p
 
Beavs, 2 of my favorite things!! I just love it when DW tries to rassle the remote from me...she's actually a bit strong for a woman...must be from opening all those jars...;)
 
>That is hilarious!
>
>But here is something for us to think about - Men go bald.
>
>Anyone want to trade places?
>

I would LOVE to be bald. I would shave my head in a minute if it was socially acceptable for women to have shaved heads. Yes, I have bad hair days on most days.

This article was funny and dead-on except for a few things: DH has a shoe fetish and he packs more clothes than the kids and me put together.

Oh, he also irons his own clothes because I miss some wrinkles. ;-)
 
I don't know, I've had people stare at my chest.

Reminds me of the movie "The Pacifier" when the little girl asks Vin Diesel if he has to wear a bra because his "boobs" are so big.

As far as going bald, I would not miss my hair, it would save having to cut it. I wear a hat outside anyway.

If a guy and a girl ever go winter camping together you'll see "penis envy". After years of backpacking I've learned to camp with two water bottles...one I'd never drink out of. I don't have to leave my nice warm sleeping bag.

Smiling and scratching....
 
I love boys, they fascinate and repel me at the same time. Its a wonder how both sexes get together at all!:) Opposites truly do attract don't they?

I like the one about the fingernails and the pocket knife...:D

You forgot the one about men wearing socks with sandals, paired with shorts and no one thinks twice about it...yes, I have seen this more times than I like to count.


And no one notices the extra hair growing out of their ears, their noses, etc...or if they do..who cares? They are guys!:) But a stray hair on a woman? Gross!
 
You didn't mention that they can get ready for work in less than 30 minutes! Or that they can get their hair cut for $12! Or that they don't have to pay attention to fashion and can just wear the same clothes to work year in and year out! x( x( x( ;)
 
And also, if a guy wants to lose a few pounds, he just cuts out that third beer and walks around the block a couple of time, POOF, all gone, back to the "maintenance level" of 2500 plus calories per diem...
 

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