Why does food have such a hold on me???

[kbhegrenes]

I just started a 12 week challenge to get a start on the body I've always wanted, and never thought I could ever have. I knew I would have to do things differently than ever before to get the results I've never seen before. I've seen the before and after pictures on here, and that's what I want. I am extremely disciplined by nature and know I can do it. So here I am only two weeks into it, and I totally blow it yesterday and today!!! x(
It's like all or nothing with me. I can't have one brownie, to treat myself for following my eating and excercise routine to a tee the past 2 weeks,,,oh no I have to eat HALF THE PAN!! Only to move on to chips!!x( I't's like once my body tastes it again, it want it more which I heard is true. And eventhough I am disciplined by nature, nothing will talk me out of continuing to eat that whole day!! I am very good at "getting back on track", (thank goodness for Mondays) but I'm so mad at myself. It like I go 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. Why do I do that to myself??
Anyone else out there like this? I guess maybe I shouldn't of eaten one brownie, which lead to 12 and chips. Why does food have such a hold on me?

 

[eminenz2]

I think you'll find a lot of company on this forum regarding this issue.

Our relationship with food is so complicated. We use it for so many other reasons other than nourishment. Other posters can speak more eloquently (and intelligently) on this issue.

On the practical side, may I offer what has worked for me? I try to eat clean as I can Saturday-Thursday. Friday all bets are off. I call it my "Binge Day" (although I know that is a very insensitive name for it). I eat whatever I want, without apology or berating myself. Funny thing is, once I give myself the OK to eat it, the stigma goes away, and oftentimes the craving does too!

I also ripped off a tip from another poster here on the board. She mentioned she had a 'three bite rule'. If I remember correctly, she explained it this way: if she really, really wants something, she allows herself three bites of it, and that's it. If she let's herself eat it, the craving ususally takes care of itself.

Practically - can you get all the junk out of your house and surround youself with healthier munchies like nuts and things? I keep a can of almonds at work for between-class munchies. A few of those can really do the trick - especially before my scheduled lunch time.

But also - this may sound like a psychobabble bit of advice - be nice to yourself. Think of the little kid you use to be. I try to think of it as how I try to treat my students at school - be firm, be fair, and be consistent. That's how I try to treat myself. It doesn't always work, but I try.

Good Luck!

Susan L.G.

 

[neicebug]

OMG...you have just described ME!!!! x( x(

I am exactly the same way! It is all or nothing with me. I cannot resist temptation from food, it has so much control over me. And I confess... I have eaten 1/2 a pan of brownies or 6 kit kat bars or 1/2 bag of peanut M&Ms over a 2 hour span. I am so disqusted while I am doing it, knowing it is wrong, knowing I WILL regret it, but having no sure way to get me talked down off the ledge at the moment.

I work out of my house, which I believe part of my problem. I have easy access to food all the time and I have fallen into the habit of eating chocolate while working. There is a big bowl of fruit in my kitchen at all times, but I zoom right past it to go discover some irrestible chocolate morsel in the pantry. And when the morsel is not there, I can make a pan of brownies, cookies, or cake....shame on me. But, I swear I feel like it is an outter body experience, and the devil made me do it. }( }( }(

My cheat moment leads me to a cheat DAY and I feel lousy, but the feeling is never enough to make me stop. Then when I run the next morning I can tell I ate crap the day before, yuck!

I feel that one of the things that will save me is to get my office out of my house AND the good news is that hopefully it will be finished by Christmas and I will be a good girl again.

Please know that you are not alone. I am here just as frustrated, and willing to admit it is by my own hand.

xoxo, Denise

 

[neicebug]

I agree, I have stopped buying all the bad things and it does help. However, I can seem to make anything bad...like a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips...usually YUCK-o by themselves, but when I need it, they are there! x( x(

 

[delfin]

I'm also a fan of the "cheat day." It's easier to tell yourself, "I can wait a few days," then "No, I can never have this." Also, re: sugar-laden treats, I find that once I have a little, it's very hard for me to stop. (Two pieces of my daughter's ice cream birthday cake last night) I know that sugar is my weakness, so I try to always have a bowl of grapes in the fridge, so I can nibble on a few of them to ward off that sugar craving. Also.... I've discovered a great drink called Postem, that is not coffee or tea, but made from grains. You prepare it the same way you would a cup of coffee, but I add a little cinnamon. At night, when you get that craving for something sweet, it really takes the edge off and satisfies. Just a few little things that have helped me. Hang in there!! Most people I know have issues with eating... it's hard not to in this society.

 

[kbhegrenes]

Denise,
I was laughing while I read your reply, because it was exactly what I was thinking and feeling when I wrote my original post. I don't mind taking a cheat day, but a half a pan of brownies, chips, m&m's, (the list goes on) in one day is so exsessive!! I feel awful while I'n eating it, and even more awaful phsically and emotionally efter I eat it, and wonder why I did it? But somehow, it's never enough to stop me while I'm doing it, or from it from happening again in the future. The three bite rule sounds good, but I think for me once i get started there's no end until bed time, which usually ends up being a bad night, becasue my stomach is rolling and bloated! Where's my happy medium? Will I ever change?

Thanks so much for your repy, it made me feel normal and not like I was the only one. Thank you!

 

[kbhegrenes]

thank you all so much for your supportive words, advise and encouragement!! I will try the 3 bite rule next "binge session" and see if it works! And I will try to be nicer to myself,,,when I'm done being mad! HAHAHAH! :7

 

[rgs424]

I feel the same way...that whole 'rationalization' process kicks in that tells me its ok to eat whatever because tomorrow will be "different" and i will get "right back on program". Tomorrow is never different and so I learn to live WITH the cravings rather than dreading them and fighting them off (well, I am successful half the time...but still trying!!).

But I can tell you this...I can not remember a time that I resisted a craving and said no to junk food, only to regret it later !!

I think journaling every bite that you eat and sharing with friends, as you did with this post, is VERY helpful !!

Hang in there !

 

[nancy324]

IMHO, you should not discount the physical aspects of what's going on. Eating something high in simple carbs, even if it's just 3 bites, raises your blood sugar and causes cravings for more simple carbs to keep the blood sugar level up. I find that if I never eat the first bite, I'm craving-free all day, every day. Once or twice a month I'm in a social setting and I can eat bread or starve. So, I eat the bread and get the cravings. But it doesn't happen often enough to matter much.

I don't know if you're like me, but it sure sounds like you are. If it helps, just think of it as an addiction. An alcoholic can't have just one drink, and you can't have just one bite. Choose your days, like when you're going out to eat, to let go. But don't even go near the stuff the rest of the time.

Works great for me.

 

[meredith]

You've gotten great advice. I also wonder if you're feeling too deprived. Instead of focusing on all the things you're taking away, focus on new things you're GIVING to your body. Try some berries or some other healthy but wonderfully tasty treat. I would rather eat fresh blueberries than brownies any day.

 

[jdawnc]

I have just been doing a 12 week challenge of hard training and six small meals a day high on protein. It was going really well but last week someone brought in cookies and donuts, the resturant next door was having sausage, cabage rolls, and perogies for their special. I thought the same thing and said to myself it's one day whatever go crazy and enjoy yourself. Going from clean easy digestible foods to that amount of fat and grease, let's just say I was on the toilet most of the afternoon with severe cramping! Feeling like crap after work I went to the grocery store and picked up some comfort food to make me feel better...no rime or reason...peanut butter, fresh nut bread, baked chips, and low fat dip...carb city here I come. Three PB sandwiches and half the chips and dip later I felt so bloated. The next day had 2 PB sand and more chips and dip for dinner. I had to through everything in the garbage! I have no will power when it comes to food in the house. The days following I had the biggest appitite you would imagine!

I really think that those cheat days are a must to avoid cramping and a five day bender. I also think that I am working out very hard and not eating enough to keep my body fueled which in turn led to a week of eating and not ever feeling full. I think I will add some nut mix to get the cals up.

I am back on track today and will take it one day at a time!

 

[lederr]

Some random thoughts come to mind when reading your post.

First, it may be that once you at the brownies, thus having broken your clean-eating rule, you may have felt what the heck and continued to break it. Kind of like, if I am going to break it, at least I'll make it a good one.

You also have to allow yourself slip-ups knowing that it's not a runaway train that you can't get back on.

That said, I always tell the kids I work with, "Can't equals won't." It's not that we can't stop ourselves, it's that we choose not to. All behavior is purposeful and for whatever reason, we choose not to stop certain behaviors (or choose to engage in certain behaviors) because it is reinforcing. We don't do things that don't reinforce us in some way! Sometimes, it's hard to look at what the reinforcers are (for example, an abused woman could actually be staying in the relationship because being treated poorly reinforces her negative views about herself and that she is unworthy of love. She felt that she deserved to be treated poorly-a real example from a case of mine a while ago). So, ask yourself what reinforcement you are getting from eating things that won't help you achieve your goal.

That said, I am not one for drawing definitive lines in the sand. Never say never, because you just don't know. Don't think that you can NEVER have a certain food again. Just think that you will choose to have that food(s) in moderation.

Okay, taking off my psychologist hat and stepping off my soapbox.

 

[elsie3]

You and Denise have described me to a "T"!

Nancy hit my particular nail on the head with her reply. I'm fine as long as I don't have any simple carbs--but that first bite starts an almost uncontrolable avalanche. I feel awful--starting with an instantaneous headache and ending with a sugar hangover the next day. The 3-bite rule doesn't work for me. The only thing that works is staying completely away. If necessary, I let myself have a "binge" day and then get back on track the next day. Otherwise, I'll go on indefinitely--I have to get the stuff out of my system or I want it all the time. BUT total deprivation doesn't work for me either--it just ensures that one bite will turn into a binge. The longer I've gone without it, the more out-of-control I feel when I do have something.}( And I can totally relate to the bathroom scene.

I went years without allowing myself to have any treats--but it does take all the fun out of life sometimes.

I've settled on something which works pretty well for me. Once a week I have a day when I can eat whatever I want in whatever amounts as long as it's "clean" and I've eaten my veggies (and I don't go past feeling full). Peanut butter, nuts, berries, and whole-grain bread are my favs. Satisfying my body seems to help keep me away from the really dangerous stuff.

I've also "allowed" myself to enjoy treats on special occasions and when we go out to dinner--which isn't very often. Psychologically speaking, it's been helpful. I still have to pay for it, but allowing myself in advance keeps the situation under control.

But those brownies sure are good, huh?

You're absolutely not alone,

Carol