Why do they think they know best??

E

exercise forever

Cathlete
Why do kids think they know more than we do, when we have been on this earth longer than them? My daughter and I were in the drug store last week to get her some acne medicine. She used proactive before and her skin looked better. Well she decided that she want these pads that I knew would not help her. She said how her cousin had these and she wanted to try them. Well I was looking at this kit that is compared to proactive. It has the different bottles and steps. To make a long story short, we were arguing which one to get. I was going to get it anyway, but then let her make her decision and find out that you have to live with your decisions. I told her if it didn't work to not come to me about it. Sure enough she come to my room this afternoon and told me I was right about the pads, and it actually has gotten worse. I told her that she will use her allowance to get the other treatment instead of using it on vacation. I need to let her know that we do not tell her things for nothing.


Sorry this is so long.

Have any of you had an experience of a child thinking they know better and proven them wrong?


kim
 
Hi Kim,

I don't have any children and I don't know if this is relevant or not but I remember ALWAYS thinking I knew everything and my mom didn't. And she did prove me wrong several times. When I got older and into college I really had a change in attitude. Now I always go to my mom for advice and right/wrong situations. So I guess I'm just saying that I grew out of it and maybe so will she.

Kimbra
 
My daughter is only seven, but occasionally she comes to me with things that her classmates have told her. When I tell her that they are incorrect and that it's actually something else, she says "but Ausha (or whoever, but it's usually Ausha... never thought I could despise a third grader, but I digress) says!!! And I just look at her and say "who are you going to believe, me or Ausha?".

Soon she'll learn that I'm always right and it's useless to fight it. Everyone else has.}(
 
Hang in there. Do you remember how as a teen you (may have) thought your parents were clueless and by the time you became an adult, you were astonished by how wise in the ways of the world they truly were? We all like to learn by personal experience, conviced we know the best. It starts early and s deeply ingrained by the time teen age comes along. My mother is the wisest, kindest and most generous human I know. But as a teen, I couldn't see that. The older I got, the smarter my parents became. Youths are invincible. Thye explore and rebel by being what they think parents are not. It's part of the dynamics of growing and discovering who they are. There will come a day when you child will value your knowledge and realize how life has taught you so many things that might have smoothed the way. But they want to figure it out on their own, little buggers. Be there and communicate and they come back to you! :)
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
Yeah shelley,

My daughter has a friend that whatever she says is the gospel. And they are going in the eighth grade! This girl will tell my daughter that she has a modeling agent that gets work for her. Well I know this child and she has serious issues. And I find me and daughter arguing over this. I ask her how can she be so gullable. I know this for a fact that her friend is lying. This girl couldn't be model no more than my grandmother. I'm afraid she is going to believe everything she is told.

Another situation is her and her friend both went out for cheerleading. My daughter didn't make it and her friend said she didn't because she didn't want my daughter to feel bad. Gag me!

my daughter stood me down and said it could've happened that way. My DH and I thought about this and thought how would her friend know she didn't make it when they all were finished and got the results at the same time. My daughter said Oh!


Sorry this is long again

kim
 
Hey there Kim,

I saw this billboard recently for an insurance ad, it had a picture of a middle aged dad and his teen daughter and it said, "We know insurance. Your teenager knows everything else."

Gotta live with one to really get the humor of it! I live with two of 'em!

: ) Bella:p

http://www.picturetrail.com/bella652005
 
Oh yeah, I have 2 teenage girls and they definitely think they know more than me! Occasionally they will come back and tell me I was right about something, but not too often. Now that my oldest is taking driver's ed, I am constantly getting nit-picked about my driving habits. "You're supposed to turn in the closest lane." "You didn't look over your shoulder before you changed lanes." She is grounded from driving for awhile because she didn't LISTEN to me when I told her to STOP and we almost had an accident. I try to pick my battles but in the car, due to experience, I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.

And Nancy, my parents are still clueless! LOL!! :7


Angie
 
My daughter is 7 and half, she seems already has all her head set on the living rules. I can't believe she has her own fashion view, not from anyone advice. We always have a fight in the morning because she did not want to dress the clothes I picked up for her, even she agreed with me the night before...But she would come back to me to admit that the one she chose was not appropriate for the weather...

She learnt that I am always right. But she still likes to insist on her own opinions:) I guess that is typical children growing path...

WantFit
 
I disagreed with my teen and she said I "condescended" her. But I only had a different opinion. She's prickly. I quit letting her get to me. She knows everything and will continue to until she gets smacked on the head by life. Ah, cosmic revenge! :) I can't wait until she has kids!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
My son and I battled quite frequently when he was a teenager. When he was a senior, he moved out to live with my DH's mother and stepfather. My DH is an only child and these are their only grandchildren.. well you get the picture. My son thought he'd have it made. He moved back home within two months. Apparently he didn't like the way things were run down there either. He worked for about three years after he graduated HS and lived at home. He paid rent and things were relatively smooth. I still required him to tell me around what time he'd be home although I didn't make him come in any certain time. After three years of this, he decided to go in the military which was the best thing that could have happened to him. He is out now but loves to come by, will call and talk on the phone many times a day. He has told me one more than one occasion he doesn't know how I put up with him. Ahhhhh... music to an embattled mother's ears. He got a dose of his own medicine when he made sgt (E5) in the army and had to put up with new recruits!! He is a wonderful person, responsible, makes his own way. I sure am lucky.

My daughter, who is 22 now, was never as much of a problem. She was the typical overachiever, cheerleader, leader in school. Of course, she still thought she knew more than me, she still does...LOL... she is about to start teaching 9th grade (three classes, so about 90 ninth graders!!)... She is about to meet 90 people who know more than her!!!!
 
Kim, you did the right thing. You found a way to deal with the problem without having to nag or scold, and at the same time teaching her that are consequences to her actions (such as not listening to Mom). Sometimes my 4-year-old insists he's right by hitting his head against the wall. I tell him to keep at it, that I'll just take him to the emergency room when he starts bleeding. This doesn't stop him, of course, but he will hit his head against the wall more gently.

Psychologists call this "individuation". Whatever. I call it "major headache".:) I also call it karma. I was once a stubborn child myself.:eek:

Hanging my head in shame,
Pinky
 
Not a mom nor a teen anymore (thank goodness!) but I have worked with teens. They're a pain!
A coworker had an interesting perspective once, that I've kept with me. She said something like, the teens really know they don't know anything, yet they're supposed to, and all their friends are acting like they know everything, and it makes for a scared kid! So the immense ego teens have is just compensating for all the grief they're really going through. A necessary part of growing up and establishing an identity outside of your family.
Good luck!! Good job not caving.
 
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