What do you say to people when...

A

alison13

Cathlete
they tell you you're "too skinny"?????

I have been working out and eating healthier for 10 months now and my husband says I look just right weight wise, but I keep getting other (overweight) people telling me I'm too skinny, or that I'm a "rack of bones" (my plumper sister-in-law's favorite term for me), or that I need to eat more.

I'm super annoyed, and have actually wondered if I am too skinny (if enough people tell you that you have a tail, you start to look for it!) What can I say to get these people to shut up? I certainly can't say "well, you're too fat". Somehow, that is considered inappropriate, while it is totally ok to call someone too skinny!! AHHH the irony....

Well, I'm not trying to complain about a good thing, I just feel so annoyed that I am getting crap for improving myself!!!!!!x( x(

ok, I think I'm done ranting now.

Thanks all,
Alison
 
Hi Alison.

I feel your pain. While most think I look good and praise my efforts and accomplishments over the years, there are a few who think I'm too thin. I don't really know what to say to "shut them up" to be honest. I am built in such a way that I weigh lots more then people take me for. I am short, muscular and solid. When I tell people what I weigh they find it hard to believe so I just tell those few people in my life who think I'm too skinny how much I weigh as proof that I am NOT the skinny little frail thing they seem to think I am.

I guess this doesn't help you but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. :)

Ignore them. I am sure you look FAB!
 
Oh man, Alison, how timely. I am going thru this today and so angry about it. My sister just told me that a bunch of our friends think something is "wrong" with me because at get-togethers i "don't eat normal". So what does that mean? I don't eat saucy, gloppy foods or refined carbs. I do my best to avoid deserts. I fill up on fruits, veggies ( I usually bring cut-up fresh produce platters when its potluck) an dlean protein. What is wrong with THAT!? I could go on and on. Right now I'm peeved that our "friends" were all sitting aroung trashing my eating habits. I don't talk about how gross it is that they eat butter and fat. I clearly do NOT have an eating disorder. I know I used to be "too skinny" but I have put on some weight and DH says I look awesome and athletic.

Keep up the good work!
 
Simply look the person in the eye and respond, "And you're too fat. Vive la difference!"

I'm sorry. That's very acerbic. But I get very, very tired of the sabotage that the unlean try to inflict on the lean, especially when the leanness is through sound lifestyle choices and hard work.

Maybe that can be the grievance that you air on Festivus!

A-Jock }(
 
Or you could say something along the lines of, "You seem to be very concerned with my health and appearance. Interesting. Tell me...why is that?"

Of course, if it's someone who's really been giving you a hard time and is asking for a zinger, you could say, "You know, I think you're right. I'm looking to gain some weight. Do you think you could give me some pointers?"

[font face="heather" font color=black size=+2]~Cathy[/font]

http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee296/runninteach/holidays/th_tomtebart2.gif
 
Alison,

What is your height and weight? Have you checked your BMI? Is it in a healthy range? This will be a check to see if what people are telling you is accurate (that you're a rack of bones). If it is healthy, then just look at this for what it is. Jealousy. I've had people say stuff to me in a similar way (not about my weight though lately - sigh) and it turns out they want to demonize what they cannot attain for themselves. And if you find that you ARE underweight, then you can take steps to change your diet and workout routine to remedy it.

:)
 
I agree that most likely people are just JEALOUS.

I also frequently hear other OVERWEIGHT WOMEN remark on how "skinny" I am, although I know I am not even close to being underweight.

Granted, I'm very small/petite, but that's just my build, and I find such remarks to be just as rude and offensive as if one were to call them "fat".


My husband thinks I look just fine, and definitely better than I when I was heavier. And I know I do too.
 
A-Jock,

Trust me, I'd LOVE to tell some of them that, but I'm not sure that's good when I have to see them on a daily basis...we work with my husband's family, so we see a lot of eachother!

I got a good laugh from your suggestion!

Alison
 
Cathy,

That was FUNNY! I wish I could do that too...I think I'm too afraid of making enemies though!!!

Thanks for sharing my pain!

Alison
 
I love the responses! LOL

The next time someone says that to you, you can always tell them "You know, it's just as rude and offensive to call someone too skinny as it is to call someone fat" and then turn and walk away and go about your business.

My personal favorite, though, was the one about asking for pointers on how to gain weight. That was absolutely hilarious!

I am a petite person and I know I look like I weigh less than I do. I didn't realize that, though, until my husband picked me up one day and said "holy crap, you're a LOT heavier than you look!". I took it as a compliment ;-)
 
I've heard this for years and it gets really old. I told a friend who was overweight and always bugging me about being skinny,, "You know fat people always go around calling skinny people skinny and skinny people don't go around calling fat people fat and I've always wanted to tell a fat person "Oh, You're so fat!" and I did. It's a good thing he was a good friend of ours and he never called me that anymore

I've always wanted to say "Compared to who" when people ask me this all the time.

Now I've decided I'm going to simply smile and say "Thank You!" That should do the trick!

Darlene
 
My BMI is 20.2, which is totally within normal! :D So, I guess they're just jealous}(

I like the response below about just saying "Thankyou!" Or saying "Compared to who?" I'll try those next time!

Alison
 
Oh, OK...so it's mostly family dolin' out the jabs. Well, then I have one other suggestion.

If someone calls you skinny, I would simply smile and say, "Thank you." However, if you're told you're TOO skinny, I would turn the tables by saying (enthusiastically), "Actually, I'm not a rack of bones. Feel this! Check this out!" Then flex your guns for them and make them feel your muscle. Then go on and on "earnestly" about some aspect of your workout routine and/or diet. Really corner 'em and bore 'em to death. Do that a couple of times, and it won't be long before the comments cease. I would do the same if you're told to eat more. Blather on about what you ate yesterday, today, whenever, calories, carbs, etc. You could have fun torturing these people. }(

[font face="heather" font color=black size=+2]~Cathy[/font]

http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee296/runninteach/holidays/th_tomtebart2.gif
 
Oh Alison...I am right there with you! I feel your "so called" pain! LOL
I was always 128-130 lbs but after having DS almost a yr ago I have exceeded my prepreg weight and am now 116-118. Making my BMI 19.9...but alot like Wendi, people think I weigh even less b/c I have a lot of muscle. People think I only weigh about 100-110! I had my babysitter tell me last night that I need to gain some weight over chritmas.
It was a constent pain having my MIL ask me if I ate, and then watching me at meal time.She as stopped it now. But my mother likes to tell me on a regular basis that I am to skinny and sick looking.
When I see people that haven't seen me in a while they will make comments but usually add "you look good though" but then I am left wondering if I am to skinny and no one is telling me I look awful:) But at the sametime at 5'4" I know that Im not skin over bones.
I have learned that people are going to have their comments regardless. Some people are probably waiting for me to gain it back b/c they assume I am following some strict eating plan that I won't be able to follow forever. But then I think...ah...they will get use to it. My mother will get use to it and eventually stop her comments and so will everyone else.
Im happy and thats all that matters! I like the way I look, I love the fact that I can fit into anything in my closet, I love shopping for new clothes and feel confident and good when I go out.

Lori:)

P.S but with all this being said it is a little uncomfortable when people make comments when there is a crowd. I don't like everyone looking at me, waiting for me to explain. Sometimes I brush it off anf change the subject.
 
Boy, it was good to read all of this. Now I've got a good arsenal of comebacks - thanks to everyone who took the time to post!
 
I know this is mean, but a reply that would shut them up would be, "You know it's funny, but fit, healthy people NEVER say that to me. Why is that?" But then of course, you'd be a pariah which is not the best way to spend the holidays...:p

Jonahnah
Chocolate IS the answer, regardless of the question.
 
Yeah, why is it that people can say "your to skinny, you need to gain some weight" and its o.k...even though, its quit rude. But its not o.k to say "you have couple of pounds on, would you like for me to give you some tips to get rid of it". The person would be appauld,mouth drop open and never speak to us again. Its a very strange world we live in!~
Now that my MIL is certain that I eat, when people make comments to her she tells them that Im the only person she knows that eats super healthy and works out. I guess she is excepting it after all.
Lori:)
 
Yes, I too am very open about telling people with such audacity that they are fat. No problem :)
I hate how "fat is the new skinny" and I find it just as detrimental to be "brainwashing" people and youths that skinny is bad and that "real women" don't look that way -- BUT INSTEAD !! Look like a fat slob, overeat and let yourself go after you land yourself a mate and pop out a few and THAT'S what REAL WOMEN LOOK LIKE..
No one will ever make me feel like im, what? a FAKE woman? A MAKE BELIEVE woman (extreem sarcasm here) because Im not fat or overweight.
Hmm.. then I get my friends that are several inches taller than me that would give anything to look like me telling me I don't have to worry. First off, I will never look like them because i am short and petite and they are not, so BIG for us is very different than BIG for them.
Also, older women tend to think that girls like me are only skinny because we are young.. thus the "you don't need to worry" stuff.. " I know I shouldn't worry until my doctor has to tell me too" (more sarcasm hehe)
Im not actually "skinny" BTW.. or at least, not by standards and porportions :)
I have always found that most people with the audacity to dish out stupid comments with the intent to either hurt someone or just show ignorance (there are a LOOOOT of people out there that live by the "real women" rule lol), retorting with something equally as degrading always helps them to snap out of it.. they kind of "get" the analolgy better.. judgmental people always want to point out the things they don't like or moreso, DON'T UNDERSTAND in others and never see the things in themselves that others might see as faults or weaknesses. I don't think that reminding them once in a while after they feel they need to remind YOU is such a bad thing..
good luck :)
 
I could always say:

"Actually, my Body Mass Index is 20.2, which is quite normal. What's yours?"

Wait, that's mean! Crap, well, I'll just be thinking it on the inside!

Or I could say, "I'm considered normal, just not average!"

Alison
 
I'm especially tired of FAT being the new CURVY, and hearing overweight women constantly refer to themselves as CURVY, or that "real women have curves," and implying that all thin women are NOT curvy.

"Curvaciousness" has absolutely NOTHING to do with what size dress a woman wears. Rather, it means a woman has an hourglass shaped figure with a small waist-to-hip ratio.

Therefore, one can wear a size 2 and still be very curvy, as it's a matter of proportion.

I would consider Jai from the Cathe videos to be notably "curvy" - with her teeny waist and rounded hips, even though she is obviously petite. :)
 
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