Wedding present - cash

Ok I live in MS so I don't think I can really help. I would give $25 and that would be alot here. Most people around here give $15 gift cards. I do live in a very rual area of MS so we don't have that per plate cost and stuff like that. And most are Baptist so the reception is just cake and punch sometime there is a little more food but not much. Except when the guy marries a girl from out of town. We had one a month ago who got married in Hattiesburg. Our church threw her a shower so I went and picked here up a $20 bathmat she had registered for. Did not attend the wedding but the ones who did did not take another present. My main point of this post was for you to be amused by backwoods rednecks.

Farrah
 
My bottom line belief on this topic is...most importantly- give ONLY as much as you can AFFORD and what you feel in your HEART is appropriate.

Some people just don't have alot of money to hand out as a wedding gift even to thier closest relatives and friends!

If the couple getting married have an expectation as to what size gift is in your envelope then they don't deserve ANYTHING!

The amount of money spent on a wedding is on the couple getting married, not the guests! If I want to get married at a place that charges $200 a head then fine. That's MY problem though and I am NOT going to lay out the money for the reception ASSUMING I will make it all back in gifts. That is horribly rude. When I got married, we shopped around for a place that we liked and could afford. We got a FABULOUS place with GREAT food and it did not cost nearly as much as other places. Had we not gotten a dime of it back, we would have been fine. We spent what we could afford.
 
Wendy, ITA with you!!

And another thing, I rather resent getting wedding invitations from people I barely know. It makes me feel like I was invited for the gift.
 
Gayle said:
LOL, Farrah!

I think DH and I had a redneck wedding...our reception included a horseshoe pit and "His" and "Her's" kegs. :p
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LOL my mom always thought I should have my reception in the backyard with keg and wearing shorts!:D

It probably would have been just as much fun as my "traditional" reception...perhaps MORE fun even!
 
Well i left out the fact that after most weddings we light a bonfire and drink alot of beer. And there are also alot of partys at a house after the wedding and the church reception. Weddings are laid back and alot of fun here.

Farrah
 
This is such a timely topic. I have two weddings to go to in the next two months. Does anybody have any ideas what is appropriate for co-workers? I don't see either of them outside of work or work related functions, so I really have no idea. One of them has only worked for the company 6 months - I probably won't be going to her wedding due to other obligations, but I know an invite is coming.
 
Keep the dialog going!

Many interesting and well-taken perspectives here (please note I'm a cheapskate, as is probably evident from my own response).

I think a lot of it has to do with the age and socioeconomic circumstances of the marrying couple, as well as what the gifter can and wishes to gift. When DH and I married back in spring 1995, I was coming up on age 34 and DH had just turned 49; we both had good jobs and our main problem when combining households was that we had so much duplicate stuff to get rid of, not what stuff we needed. In fact, we almost put on the invitations something that would elegantly say "No gifts please", but my sister and father almost took my head off when I mentioned that possibility.

If the couple is just starting out in life, with promising prospects but little more than dorm room leftover furniture and garage-sale household items then a larger gift would make more sense. However, if they're a couple of financially fatted calves, how much do they really need?

It is a tad demoralizing, however, to see how much life-marking events (confirmations, bar / bat mitzvahs, graduations, weddings, baby showers) have become a consumerist arms race. I kind of wish the tide would turn in the direction my (now sadly late) cousin and her husband took: their wedding was on a grassy hill at the Sturgis Bike Rally, with both of them in tee-shirts and full leathers. I think someone donated a keg, and that was it.

A-Jock
 
This thread makes my head spin. I was under the impression that the bride/groom/parents or some combination set the budget for the wedding. It was up to them to determine what they could or could not afford - whether through savings, debt or the pilfering of some asset like their home or retirement accounts. However now it seems as though the happy couple-to-be are looking toward their guests as co-financers of their wedding!

I have always believed that as a guest, I give a gift that I can afford and that reflects my relationship with the couple, not based on the venue or what's for dinner. I would give the same amount whether the event was at the Ritz Carlton or in someone's backyard.

I am sorry if I offend any couples-to-be, but I spent last week watching bridezilla and platinum weddings with my god daughter (she is 19 and well, you know).

Just my 1/2 cents on the matter.

have a good day,
Debbie Russo
formerly javajane
 
I think things are very different in different parts of the country. For my stepson's wedding, most of the guests were quite wealthy. For those few guests who really could not afford what others were giving, we made no judgments. For example, my stepson's groomsmen who were friends and college roommates just starting out in life gave meaningful gifts like photos, and that was just perfect. No one expected them to spend money, and I was relieved that they didn't because I knew their circumstances. But when my brother, who is a gazillionaire, came with his family of five and gave very little, I was deeply hurt. To me it signified that he did not consider my stepson to be a real part of our family. Gifts really do signify a lot. I know how my brother really feels. He makes up a beautiful family calendar every year, with pictures of family members on their birthdates, etc., and to this day he does not include my stepson or my DIL. It is so hurtful, I can't even begin to tell you. But if it's just a question of what someone can afford, no problem! That's not an issue for me.
 
Thanks to everyone who chimed in! I "himmed and hawweed" over it for a week and in the end, I checked in here before leaving yesterday and went with $150. My bf wanted to give $100 and I wanted to give $200 and since I still wasnt sure, I split the difference and went with $150!
 
swimnfit said:
This is such a timely topic. I have two weddings to go to in the next two months. Does anybody have any ideas what is appropriate for co-workers? I don't see either of them outside of work or work related functions, so I really have no idea. One of them has only worked for the company 6 months - I probably won't be going to her wedding due to other obligations, but I know an invite is coming.
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IMO, for someone that:

1. you've only worked with for six months
2. don't know outside of work
3. and don't plan to attend their wedding

I don't think I'd even bother getting them a gift, and if I did, it would be small ($25 or less). Also, if there are other co-workers in the same boat, you could all go in together on a gift - everybody pitch in a few bucks.
 
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