wedding gift for co-worker

dr.mel_PT

dr.mel_PT

Cathlete
My boyfriend and I were invited to my co-worker's wedding. I'm not super close with her but we talk and text here and there; we're also "cubby mates." I was thinking $200 for the 2 of us, is that good?
 
That seems like a lot to me...but if you can afford that I guess it would be okay. In these economic times, I personally would buy her a crock pot as most of my liquid income goes to food storage or work which needs to be done to the house. Maybe I am just cheap? Good luck to you!
 
I think partly it depends on where you live. Here in the Midwest I would not spend more than $50 for a co-worker's wedding gift. But, I also make it a point NOT to socialize with co-workers, so I wouldn't go to the wedding either. I know, I'm a downer, but I just prefer to keep my social life and my work life separate.

anne
 
I don't think you are a downer. I have found that mixing social and work lives can lead to BAD things. :) I make it rule to NOT socialize with coworkers from past experience. :)
 
$200 seems like a lot to me too. That is what I gave my assistant at work for her wedding and she does a lot for me. I thought it was generous. For someone I just work with I would do about $50, possibly more if I planned on going to the wedding and knew she was forking over a lot...maybe $100 then.
 
I agree with everyone else. $200 seems like an awful lot for a coworker. $50 seems perfectly adequate to me, and I probably would not attend a coworker's wedding either, unless we were pretty close.
 
I figured I'd give enough to (almost) cover 2 plates, since I'm bringing my BF. Halls are expensive up here (I live in Westchester, NY), where the going rate is easily $100-$150/head.
 
Another NYer here - $100 per head if you're attending is the going rate. Although I don't think you're obligated to give cash (although it does seem to be the standard - both weddings I've attended I gave $100 for just myself to attend). You could give a nice regular gift (there is a gorgeous pair of intertwining candlesticks I love on Red Envelope). Do you have to attend the wedding? You could opt out and then send a gift instead. Damn, weddings are expensive. The last one I went to, between gift, car service to and from, accessories, etc. cost me $400. hmph Honestly, I would just come up with some "other engagement" that prevents you from attending and give a nice gift.
 
I agree, I think it has a lot to do with where the wedding is, maybe even more than how close you are to the people, and in this neck of the woods, I think you have to go with $100/head. That's really the starting point, then I would increase from there depending on the relationship.
 
Wow, either I am showing my age or really out of touch. $100/head! I cannot even fathom spending that much on a wedding! It is just one day for Pete's sake. DH and I spent what we could afford (which was not very much), didn't borrow from our parents, made all of the decorations, found a free spot to wed, and remain debt free to this day. I cannot imagine going into a new marriage with a bunch of piling up debt.
(stepping off box now) :)
 
Melissa, you are totally right and if you're old fashioned then so am I!! I'm in my late 20s and watching all my friends around me (some without jobs, btw), pile up GINORMOUS amounts of debt just so they could have a huge wedding. They wind up moving into their parents' basement afterwards because they can't even afford rent!! To me, spending all that on 1 day isn't worth it. I would much rather have a simple wedding with close friends and family, have fun and celebrate the day with some $$ left over in my account to buy something worthwhile like a house. I think the concept of getting married has been lost in that now it's all about the show and not about what you're really celebrating.
 
I am glad someone is asking about this - I have been invited to the daugher of a co worker's wedding. I have been thinking about gifts and wanted to give the couple something without putting money in a card. What would be an impressive looking but inexpensive wedding gift I could give?

$200 sounds like a lot to me. If I couldn't find something to give I was doing $100.
 
You know, the gifts that I appreciated the most from our meager wedding were things for the house...crock pot, pans, sheets, towels. I have no idea what young engaged couples want these days. Like I said, I must be out of touch. :)
 
I guess I don't get this $100/$150 a head. I think it is incredibly tacky to have expectations for gifts (can we say greedy!). So much for "it's the thought that counts."

I have a wedding to attend this summer in Snobbs Ferry, and after reading this, I think I'll be bringing them some Wild Bill's beef jerky and a six pack of PBR.
 
I think $200 is about right. I live in the Hudson Valley NYS and weddings are expensive. It really does depend on what part of the country you live in and I think the idea is to give a gift that covers the cost of the 2 plates. At least that is what I have always understood.
 
PhyllisG said:
I think $200 is about right. I live in the Hudson Valley NYS and weddings are expensive. It really does depend on what part of the country you live in and I think the idea is to give a gift that covers the cost of the 2 plates. At least that is what I have always understood.
Click to expand...

Seems like a good time for peeps to scale back and get their priorities straight.
 
Seriously? Since when are guests expected to pay for the wedding? A wedding gift is that a gift. Not an attempt to pay for some extravagant party. I just don't get it. If you choose to have an expensive wedding that is your deal, don't expect the guests to pay for it.

So I guess my answer is $200 is way too much.
 
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Sheesh, I live in the Hudson Valley, too but have never been to a wedding here and now I'm glad about that. However, I'm in Rockland County so maybe it's not so bad over here in my hippie town.

I say, sure, pay $200 if that's easy for you. If it's not, then pay what is easy to afford, period. I agree with others that it's not the guests' job to give gifts to pay for the wedding. (I have to admit I had a relatively inexpensive wedding back in Houston 10 years ago and I guess we made off like bandits because we got some awesome freakin' gifts.)
 
You are absolutely right--give a gift that you can afford--no question. I also live in a "hippie" town tho it is rapidly turning into a town of "second home owners'--Woodstock NY.Most weddings that I have been to in the last few years are friend's children and they all had gift registries at various stores. Their lists were pretty varied so you could choose something that was within your price range.
 
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