Venting- How would you react?

You know, I'd only worry about her if whe was butt ugly and had a terrible body and said such things! If she's gorgeous and she dresses to show off her assests, all you can do is decide which is more important: your sanity or her ego. Because if you tell her how you feel, she will think you are possessed by the green-eyed monster.

I doubt if anything you say would change her behavior. . If she's truly insecure, she may be hurt AND think you are jealous but her way is ingrained in her because, as Clare said, our culture objectifies women. She's getting something from her self-display. She wants those reactions. Do you want to keep her as a friend and put up with her irritating, narcissistic ways or speak out and validate your feelings toward her and perhaps lose her friendship?
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
 
Thanks for your input Bobbi- you guys always make me feel better. For now, I'm going to go with the keep my distance- ignore and laugh off method! We'll see how that goes.

Gina
 
Gina, just wondering ... do you ever hear guys calling her, or hearing her getting compliements all the time? Just wondering??? Perhaps she just say's it for "attention" when in reality she doesn't get half as much as she thinks? I have friend that is very attractive, and says all the time "i got hit on today, and this and this ... etc..." and i'm like, (in my head) "whatever" ... but whenever we've been out together i've never heard anything, so perhaps she's just telling a few white lies? x
 
You know there are people out there who are pathologically narcissistic. These people are NOT insecure, but truly do believe they are wonderful! It's actually a personality disorder and depending on how pervase or severe could be a mental illness. The symptoms are contained in the DSM IV which is the Psychology Diagnostic manual. There are several levels of this illness and the pathology can be at several levels. You could confront someone with Narcissism and it would go right over their heads. Basically, the world revolves around them.
 
Names and Psychosis

Please, don’t fry me here, but … it seems nowadays everything has a name. If your vein, you now have a disorder. If you worry about the six of your tighs its disorder. If your child is overactive, it’s a disorder. Whatever happened to, “your child is a bloody pain in the arse and needs good slap!”. I sometimes think we have too many names and psychosis and not enough real talk.
 
RE: Names and Psychosis

Gee, I hardly ever get use what I learned in Psychology. Paid a lot of money for that degree and once in awhile I like to show off. Didn't mean to offend. Didn't mean to hit a nerve.

p.s. I don't believe in slapping children and my daughter turned out just fine, thank you!
 
RE: Names and Psychosis

Oh Candi,
I'm glad you used what you learned in psychology. You can show off to me anytime.

Although I agree with Wayne about so many simple things being a 'disease', This is one I KNOW is true. I had a BF a long time ago and he was a textbook CLASSIC!
(Now what was wrong with me that I hung on to him for so long??? - that's another psych lesson :) )
-joy
 
RE: Names and Psychosis

Candi,

I didn't mean to offend you. I really didn't. I think you're points are very valid, and it was not a personal attack towards you. I'm sure you have a lovely daughter and my remark about slapping children was only that, a remark, and was tongue in cheek. I do not believe in slapping children (well not often or that hard! again, i kid!!!). I do believe that we have far too many names for things that don't requrie naming. We live in a generation (it seems) that require us to "talk too much"... i have to ask myself sometimes ... is being right or being in love/friendship, etc... more important here? I know many points you made are valid.
 
RE: Names and Psychosis

Oh, Wayne, you didn't offend me and I didn't take it as a personal attack. I just didn't want to start a Monday morning pissing someone off.

I understand what you mean about categorizing. In the field of Psychology, however, just like physical illness, in order to come up with the best treatment, a diagnosis is imperative. I, for one, am fascinated with people and how the human mind works and how we are all so very different. One of the wonderful mysteries of life.

Yes, my daughter is lovely, but during her teenage years...now, that's another story. I didn't slap her, but just don't ask me if I felt like it from time to time.

Now, about a friendship with someone who is constantly talking themselves up. The point I was trying to make was that if this person is truly narcissistic, it isn't going to matter what is said to her, she will continue to have an inflated opinion of herself and won't understand the constructive criticism.
 
RE: Names and Psychosis

Stargazer,

That must have been quite the experience for you. As long as you learned something from the experience, I'm sure the time you had with him wasn't a waste.

I was married to someone for 21 years who had similar qualities and turned into a functional alchoholic and drug abuser. He still doesn't know he has an addiction problem but he's almost 50 and living with his parents cause he can't find a decent job cause he can't pass a drug test... man, glad I got out of that one. But, I sure did learn a lot about myself during those years so I prefer to never think of them as wasted. And let me tell you, I really appreciate the DH I have now. Live and learn...right?
 
Hi,

No, I've never actually heard these things, but then again, I haven't seen her in a while. In my head, I'm like whatever too lol.

Thanks for responding,
Gina
 
RE: Names and Psychosis

Hi Candi, Stargazer, and icklemoley-

Candi- you are too funny. Thanks for sharing your psych knowledge- she is very narcissistic and I suppose I do think that there's something odd going on in her head.

It does seem that everything has a name these days. While she may fit into a personality disorder, I think I'll just refer to her as a plain old pain in the butt!

Thanks guys!

Gina
 
Has your friend got a boyfriend? Maybe when she settles down with the right man (a long term meaningful relationship rather than shorter term flings) then maybe, just maybe the attention she gets from other people will no longer be so important and then she'll probably grow out of her ways.
 
Hi Cheshire Cat,

First, congratulations on your pregnancy!!!

Yes, my friend has a boyfriend who just about worships her for about four years. She would have been the last person I'd ever expect to cheat, but she did, twice in the past few months, and her eyes continue to wander. Unfortunately, I don't think being in a supposedly committed relationship will help!

Gina
 
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