Unwanted/unsoliciated advice at gym today!!

M

MadnNatsmom

Cathlete
I can't believe this happened to me!!! I read about this happening to others, but I've never experienced it until today!

I went to the gym on my lunch hour - first time ever. I'm thinking I really like the emptiness of the gym and how most of the free weights/benches are available.

This fat guy comes up to me as I'm using the cable row machine. I am trying to get the most of my workout by alternating with chest presses.

He says I'm using the machine wrong. That I can exercise both my chest and back at the same time. WTH???!!! I wanted to tell him that I can't think of an exercise where you would exercise opposing muscle groups at the same time, but I don't.

I tell him, why don't you show me what I'm doing wrong? He demonstrates by sticking out his chest while performing rows. He says I can work out my chest by sticking it out while I do the rows. He says he's gotten great results from doing this. Never mind that his belly protruded further than his chest.

I told him to look up the exercises in a kinesiology book. He also kept saying "lats". I wanted to say "Do you even know what "lats" is short for?"

Ugh. I hope he doesn't come regularly at that time.

The few times I've been approached at the gym, it's always a fat, ugly guy. What is up with that??
 
That is why I workout at home to avoid guys like that. He knew you had some knowledge by how good you look so to the only way he can justify himself is to "try" to teach you something you don't know but failed.
 
MadnNatsmom said:
The few times I've been approached at the gym, it's always a fat, ugly guy. What is up with that??
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If it was a sexy, ripped guy would the advice be recieved differently? I've had guys who were ripped try to give me advice and that was just as annoying if not more so. You might be surprised, . . he might have been even heavier than before, . . .and lost 100lbs and was just showing you what he "thought" was more effective. Then again he could have just been trying to show off to you.

I also hate it when people don't like to mind their own "p" and "q's" when I'm working out at the gym. A good tip, . . .use an Ipod and listen to your music and just point to your ears like you can't hear them and just keep working out. Trust me it WILL happen again.
 
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He was obviously trying to impress you -- emphasis on "trying" :rolleyes: If he tries it again, you can play nice and say "No thank you, I'm fine with what I'm doing" or you can let him have it - "If I want help or advice, I'll ask one of the trainers." Personally, I think you were already nice and he wasted your valuable time so I'd let him have it if he approaches you again. But...that's me....my workout time is all about me, I don't bother anyone else while they're working out and I expect the same courtesy from them, unless someone asked for my help but that's very different than giving unsolicited (and bad) advice!
 
toughYrun said:
Maybe he just wanted to watch you stick your chest out.
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LOL!!!!

I agree with Janie; bring an Ipod! Because trust me, he WILL come up to you again if he sees you. There was a fat nasty guy who did that to all the women ALL the time at a gym I used to work at. He had no clue what any of the exercises did, had HORRIBLE form, yet he thought he was the ish, barking "pointers" at people. One time he even came up to me in the middle of a session and told me I was training my client incorrectly and told the client "Don't expect results from this one. She's not gonna get you fit, cuz then you'll stop training with her and paying her money." Really?! Sad thing is, he actually thought of this as his game and it was his main tactic for trying (trying is the key word here) to pick up women.
 
I love it! It's inevitable if you workout at a gym that someone, guy or gal, will try to show off to you. The "regulars" get intimidated by others who appear to know more than they do just by how they look and their confidence with the equipment!

I worked out years ago at a muscle head gym and loved it! They guys there, when they spoke to me, only complimented me on my muscles! LOL! :eek:

When they saw that I knew what I was doing, they started asking me to spot them! They were great guys!

toughYrun said:
Maybe he just wanted to watch you stick your chest out.
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toughYrun said:
Maybe he just wanted to watch you stick your chest out.
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BWA HA HA!!! You know what? That is probably dead on right. We women spend waaaaay too much time analyzing men, when in fact they are very simple creatures. They like boobs, sports, and sandwiches. :eek:
 
I thought he wanted you to stick your chest out too! FUNNY!

I've yet to have that happen at the gym. I do wear an ipod all the time. Oh..and I have a small chest. That must be it. :)
 
janie1234 said:
If it was a sexy, ripped guy would the advice be recieved differently? I've had guys who were ripped try to give me advice and that was just as annoying if not more so. You might be surprised, . . he might have been even heavier than before, . . .and lost 100lbs and was just showing you what he "thought" was more effective. Then again he could have just been trying to show off to you.

I also hate it when people don't like to mind their own "p" and "q's" when I'm working out at the gym. A good tip, . . .use an Ipod and listen to your music and just point to your ears like you can't hear them and just keep working out. Trust me it WILL happen again.
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This was my first reaction as well. We don't always know a person's story. It isn't always good to judge a present by the wrapping paper!

Carrie
 
carres1973 said:
This was my first reaction as well. We don't always know a person's story. It isn't always good to judge a present by the wrapping paper!

Carrie
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Okay - I am humbled now - you guys are so right! We really don't know what his story is or what his intentions are. My initial response was a knee-jerk reaction to what my experience has been with men 9 times out of 10. I have become cynical!!! :eek::p

Melissa
 
"If it was a sexy, ripped guy would the advice be recieved differently?"

Doubt it, but it would have been easier on the eyes.

Oh, trust me when I say this guy did not have good, "helpful" intentions. He was very condescending. And, I don't give a crap what your story is. We've all got 'em. You can be helpful without being condescending.

I find it interesting that I said this guy was "fat" and I'm being judged as being judgmental. If I'd said he was skinny, tall, Asian, etc. am I being judgmental? Sheesh.

My chest is small, too! So, it wasn't that, but that made me LOL.
 
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pink_fortitude said:
I have become cynical!!! :eek::p

Melissa
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Hi Melissa, . . .trust me you'll never meet a bigger cynic/sarcastic person than me. Just ask my kids and my husband who never know when I'm joking or not. :)

I didn't mean for this to start a flame war, . . this is only my opinion but for some reason the words "fat" and "ugly" strike me as being hurtful. I've never met a person who has never had their feelings hurt when someone called them "fat" and "ugly." I have a son with autism and because of that I've met a whole lot of kids with disabilities, . some with downs syndrome, . .some medically retarded, . . some missing limbs, . .and parts of their faces that have been called "ugly", . . .and "fat" "stupid" these words can hurt and if someone just tried to get to see them for who they really are you'd find people with a lot of love to give and feelings that get hurt.
 
MadnNatsmom said:
"If it was a sexy, ripped guy would the advice be recieved differently?"

Doubt it, but it would have been easier on the eyes.

Oh, trust me when I say this guy did not have good, "helpful" intentions. He was very condescending. And, I don't give a crap what your story is. We've all got 'em. You can be helpful without being condescending.
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ITA--I've had hot guys do this, I've had not so hot guys do it, it doesn't matter, it's still annoying. I've had kids who were potty training when I was learning how to squat give me *ahem* pointers.

I've learned to brush it off. My ex told me they do it b/c they're just looking for an excuse to talk to you. So take it as a compliment if you can. :)
 
pink_fortitude said:
Okay - I am humbled now - you guys are so right! We really don't know what his story is or what his intentions are. My initial response was a knee-jerk reaction to what my experience has been with men 9 times out of 10. I have become cynical!!! :eek::p

Melissa
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And your initial reaction may very well have been correct! One never knows why guys do things...and they say we are hard to understand:p!

Carrie
 
MadnNatsmom said:
"If it was a sexy, ripped guy would the advice be recieved differently?"

Doubt it, but it would have been easier on the eyes.

Oh, trust me when I say this guy did not have good, "helpful" intentions. He was very condescending. And, I don't give a crap what your story is. We've all got 'em. You can be helpful without being condescending.

I find it interesting that I said this guy was "fat" and I'm being judged as being judgmental. If I'd said he was skinny, tall, Asian, etc. am I being judgmental? Sheesh.

My chest is small, too! So, it wasn't that, but that made me LOL.
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I apologize for jumping to conclusions. Like Janie says above, there are certain words that I view as hurtful. Fat and ugly certainly fit into that category. If he was condescending (maybe because you are a woman??), that is a different matter. You are correct. He could have given pointers without sounding condescending. I do have to agree...not sure how you work the opposing muscles at the same time. That is like my "sculpt and stretch" class instructor saying we are going to work chest and proceed to do lat flies. HUH??

Carrie
 
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