Uhm...my mother has Alzheimer's

Govtgirl

Govtgirl

Cathlete
I'm kinda in shock here. In fact, at the doctor's visit, I wasn't even sure that's what he was saying (my mother was right there in the room). But he talked about her function being "less than average for others her age" and put her on this new medication. It wasn't until after we left that I read the literature,(I had left my glasses at home) and it was medication specifically for Alzheimer's.

I called him back, and said "does this mean early Alzheimer's, because I don't want to freak out my Mom or myself" and he said "yes well there is no definitive test for Alzheimer's but in ruling out other possibilities, that's what it is". I am not blaming him for being a bit vague in the office; my mother is very dramatic and over-the-top; it's best if she never hears the "A-word".

Has anyone had this situation?: Bascially, my mother has never been a "Mom" to me...... let me just say that without airing dirty laundry......still, I am upset and crying. I don't want to see what's coming. We've been through the strokes she had a couple years ago, she got better, but I always suspected tihs was coming too.

Sigh. Just talking here......................
 
Last edited:
I am so sorry this has occurred to you. I have no words of advice as I have no experience here. I took care of my mother in law for the last 5 years and she had mild dementia in the last 6 months of her life. My situation certainly is insignificant in comparison to what you are facing. You have a long and difficult road ahead of you and I will pray that you find the strength and help of your family to see you through this. I will keep you in my prayers.
booboo
 
Your experience is almost identical to what happened when my FIL was diagnosed. My BIL had to call the doctor back and ask if that was in fact the diagnosis. As you know, it is a rough road ahead for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
Last edited:
Govtgirl,

My mother has been diagnosed as having Alzheimer's, and that was about 20 years ago. She is in her last stages now. If you have any questions about it, there is of course the internet, and me with the experience with my mom. Everyone is different and will go through it in their own way.

My sister takes care of her in her own home with her family. They all take care of mom and tries very hard to care for her with the utmost dignity. Prepare yourself for lots of laughter, tears, anger and love.

My mom and I had a great relationship, she was my mother and my best friend. I try to see her at least twice a year or more and send letters to her every month (at this point she doesn't know who I am). We live so far away from each other. What is really wonderful is I found out that all my sisters felt the same way. They all felt as I did, loved, wanted, and special. I am one of nine. How incredible is that? She is my hero, and when she leaves this earth I will miss her with all my soul and grieve as a daughter that has been loved, would.

Now is the time to make amends and forgive. I don't know your story, but perhaps she did the best she could, with what her knowledge was at the time. Let go of the negativity in your life and enjoy your relationship with one another before it's too late. You won't be sorry.

(((((hugs to you)))))

Janie
4760884_bodyshot_175x233.gif
 
{{{HUGS}}} My FIL had Alzheimer's. He developed it kind of late in life, when he was in his 70's. It was hard to see someone so vibrant and fun-loving lose his mind. It was very hard on my MIL, who tried to keep him at home as long as she could. Best wishes...
 
I'm going through this right now with my dad. Although we were told that it's not Alzheimer's but dementia. It started about 2 or 3 years ago. My dad is now 85. He is ok physically. He can get around for the most part but is frail and is not really interested in life anymore. My mom is 11 years younger and is caring for him. My sisters and I are over at their house as much as we can.

It's so hard to see him going through this and I think even harder to see my mom go through it. He constantly wants to go home and is always looking for his mother who passed away 20 years ago. Last night I stopped by on my way home from work and he was out of his head. I'm really not sure what he was taking about but he was mad. My mom and I just sat there and didn't say much of anything because we didn't know what he was talking about. Finally I told him that I would take him home, so I put him in the car and drove around town until he started focusing on the drive and how dark it was. I took him home and mom was waiting for him and told him how much she missed him and he was fine.

Right now we are taking it day by day. I had and still have the best dad in the world but I miss the man he used to be. I trying to find a support group for my mom to attend. I am really worried more about her. They have been married for 51 years so I know this is especially difficult for her.

I can't give you too much advice. We are going through it right now and some days are harder than others.
 
(((hugs))) I'm very sorry:(

My oldest brother was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of Alzheimer's at the age of 59. The doctor told him it was most likely caused from a severe trauma. We assumed it was from a seizure(he was epileptic) He passed at the age of 60 from a blood clot to the lung after knee surgery. He was in the beginning stages of the disease when he passed.
 
I'm so sorry! How wonderful for you to be "there" for her! Big hugs to you and lots of prayers! Cynthia, I am sorry about your brother. How YOUNG he was!
 
:( Hugs! I understand. My MIL has this as well and with in the last year really took a turn for the worst. The most important thing for your Mom is to keep active physcially and mentally if she is in the early stages. There is great evidence that exercise helps to fight the disease. Your Mom needs to keep mentally stimulated as much as possible, games, cross word puzzles, card games....anything to get her mind thinking....it does help slow things down but not prevent it.

If you have any questions feel free to pm me and I can tell you what I know.

Therese
 
Oh, GovtGirl, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis. I volunteered at an Alzheimer's Respite Center for about a year (we took people in all stages of the disease a few times a week to give some relief to their caretakers), so I have an idea of what's ahead for you.

If you don't have any family (or, really, even if you do) who is able or willing to help you in the months/years ahead, please don't hesitate to contact the Alzheimer's Association to see what they can help you with. They offer some great services.

I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your mother, too... I sense a small amount of resentment in your post, like she was never there to take care of you but now you're going to be forced to take care of her. I wish I could say she'll appreciate it, but in the toughest parts of this disease, she might not even be cognizant of your sacrifices for her. Unfortunately, a lot of what Alzheimer's patients' caretakers put themselves through is so that they're able to look at themselves in the mirror and sleep at night, even if the Alzheimer's victims themselves don't realize what their families are going through.

Also, in this process, don't forget yourself. Caring for an Alzheimer's patient is incredibly hard on caretakers, so please don't neglect your own physical and mental health. And, having seen families go through a lot of these cases, let me just say: there will probably be a point where you can no longer care for her yourself, and there is NO SHAME in admitting that and getting her to a facility that can give her the round-the-clock care she will need. Please don't flagellate yourself with daughter-guilt when that time comes.

Lastly, if you need to talk... you know where to find us. We'll always be here for you.

MC
 
I'm so sorry for all of you going through this. It runs in my DH´s family and it can be really devastating, but as Therese mentioned, there are things she can do to take care of herself and slow the progress.

We got MIL a Nintendo with Brain Age for Xmas for this very reason :)

Also, I've been reading about Alzheimers at work and they have made many huge advances in understanding it recently. Hopefully this will translate to some great treatment options. It's great that they caught her early and got her on medication.

My heart really goes out to you. It's going to be difficult for sure and I hope you and your mom take great care of yourselves.

-Hannah
 
I really don't feel very wise on this subject, but I will give you what I have learned. My dear MIL didn't have Alzheimer but more of a dementia brought on by high levels of CO2 in her system. She behaved differently at the start about 5 years ago and then she behaved erratically the last 2 years. I think the hardest thing for us as a family was accepting that our dear mother wasn't there anymore. We had to accept that she was gone and we needed to deal with the person in her place. I don't know if I explained that well enough...
She died in August of this year and the last six months of her life she spent mostly in the house and she was very paranoid and quite vicious verbally. It took a lot out of me to not take her words personally but once I did that it was easier to care for her.

I wish you the best and believe it or not, some of my best information for dealing with her dementia I found online. There are blogs, discussion boards, just about everything you can imagine on the subjects of dementia and Alzheimer's. I found many support groups in my area and they provided good solid information when I most needed it.

Hugs,
 
My Mom is in advanced stages of dementia. She has been in a nursing home for three years and has no functions of any kind. Enjoy whatever time you have with your mom. It also helps to talk to people with similar problems. They really can understand what you are going through.It is extremely difficult and I send all my best wishes your way.
Ellen
 
Govtgirl, so sorry to hear of this. My dear BIL has early onset Alzheimer´s (well, the best diagnosis) he´s not even 60. They live about a 6 hour drive from us, so we don´t get to see them much, but I know it´s hard on my SIL. You have gotten some good advice, just want you to know that you are not alone.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top