TTC/ Post-Miscarriage Support 1-4-08

yes, I believe a d/c would be necessary if levels never dropped.
I have no clue how to contact Anne other than here. I was hoping she was just on an extended vacation!
 
Awww...thank you so much Melanie! It feels so good to have someone "have my back". I will probably call them today but I was just so angry that I didn't want to risk saying something I regretted. The dr's office and the girls ARE really nice and professional and I'm sure it was just overlooked but still.....You are right. This is a stressful time and it was very unprofessional of the lady at the lab. Oh well. It is what it is, right? You right about the spotting too. It is a constant reminder and I am just ready to move on.

They do want to make sure the HCG levels return to normal to make sure everything is out of there. But I would feel better with a follow up U/S which I think my dr wanted to do also once the levels were at 0. I think they would probably do a D&C to get the last little bit out. I don't think it would warrant another metho shot for just a little bit of stuff.

Well I do feel better but I still want a nice long run and heavy weights! Too bad I am stuck at work. It's rainy and humid here in Florida also so it makes the day more miserable.

I wish I were a horn dog right now. I was about a week ago and then it disappeared. DH and I are off this weekend and I am not on call so I can drink so maybe we will have some crazy drunk BDing! LOL :)
 
Why not get a D&C now, if they're going to do it anyway? I'm sorry, if I seem pushy...just curious more than anything.

I have found the natural vs D&C decision during a m/c is a very personal option. For me, I couldn't wait, I completely shut down. But I've heard more stories of women who have opted to let things happen naturally. We live in a very rural area & I have thrombocytopenia (low platelet levels). Even if I didn't "shut down" it would have been a wise choice to have the D&C in my situation.

I feel optimistic about this year. I'm so rollarcoaster-ly though. Sometimes I'm like, "yeah, whatever it takes!" and other times I'm like, "Who am I kidding, this is too stressful & isn't going to happen". I've never been so ambivalent.

This has been a super learning experience as well. I've never dealt with jealously before...and I don't like it. I don't like to be jealous/envious of other women just b/c they're pg and I'm not. During my m/c recovery I've learned of many women who have conceived (and I was horribly jealous), then to sometimes find out they go on to miscarry (and then I feel guilty). Most recently with my brother & his wife's miscarraige (I was most jealous of them, their due date was my D&C date PLUS they weren't even trying).

I need to remind myself that the bottom line is we're all in this together. I have no control over anyones uterous (even mine, and I'm a control freak). It's comical how I think: why is she pregnant? she's not even married? she's too young. she wasn't even trying.... or I'm so happy for so-and-so she's been trying a long time,... she'd be a great mom,.... Who do I think I am? God? Seriously. That's just ridiculous.

I, too, am eager to get all healed up and on with my life!!!!!! I think that a pregnancy would do this for me, but am I kidding myself?

Anywho,...thanks for letting me vent. or journal. or whatever it was that I just did.

Wow, and I'm not even PMSing yet!!!!

:confused::confused::eek::D:p
 
No I totally agree with you Melanie. I work in the social work field so I am constantly in contact with young mothers and/or mothers having numerous children who are living off of the government. It has become very easy for me to take all of this personally but I realized that I can't. I am so blessed to have a job and be in a wonderful marriage so I cannot say who deserves a child and who doesn't. It doesn't mean the thoughts still don't go through my mind (because I am human too). It sucks because lately I have had two cases with mothers talking abortion for different reasons and its hard to advocate for them. But I plug on and get through it. This whole experience has actually shown me what a strong person I am and I am so grateful (at times) for it. But I still have moments of "Why me" or "Why not me?" I am not terribly religious but I believe God has a plan for all of us and I just have to let life unfold.

About the D&C, I honestly don't think that there is anything left in there. I guess my doctor has different ideas. He was certain that I was early enough to where the metho shot would take care of it all. It's not pushy and its an honest question. :)

It's funny because I get a little envious of women that are getting BFPs but then when I think of getting my own BFP again, I get really nervous. I really thought alot about it this morning and I am scared to death to get pregnant again and go through a miscarriage again. And it definitely isnt the physical part of the miscarriage, it is the emotional/mental. But my yearning for a child is too strong and I know that everything will be ok. I think I've mentioned before that I am on another forum and some of the girls have recently gotten their BFP's and now a week later, two have miscarried. And I cry for them as if I know them. It is a horrible thing to have to deal with and I can now say I genuinely feel for them. I guess you just don't realize how common it is until it happens to you. And I should know this, working the child abuse field. I never realized just how common sexual/physical abuse is until I chose this job and it can really scare the heck out of you.

Oh well......I just wanted to reply to your vent or therapy session. It helped me too to write some of that stuff.....
 
Jen, I don't have a doubt in my mind that I'm going to be nervous if/when I conceive again!!!! I try to tell myself that I won't be a wreck,....but realistically,...how could I not be? I made it through the "high risk" first trimester,...I was at the beginning of the 4th month,...it just wasn't suppose to happen!!

It will only be through God's grace that I'll enjoy another pregnancy. If I've learned anything, it's that I'm not in control of this situation. And,...since God is All-Knowing, I have to believe that He has my best interest at heart,...and in His timing I will be whole again. :)

I finished Cathe's KPC. I haven't done that one in soo long. It was a favorite when pg with #2,...and i actually did that one on the day I delivered him. :)

I work tomorrow, but have Friday off. Chat later. :)
 
Ha Ha. I just realized that I put the wrong year on the title of this post. 1-1-08. Too funny. :D:D

I'm off to work, have a good day!
 
Wow Melanie! I'm jealous! I wish I were gettin some! :) I am really happy that you guys are DTD again.

I love KPC! It's one of my favorites! I am waiting on Amy Bento's two workouts to get here so I can try them. I rented one from Netflix and one from Blockbuster so I am waiting for them to come in the mail.

Today is a much better day so far! I think I am actually going to O soon! I have CM again! Woo hoo! I never thought I would be so excited for CM! I still am not sure if I am going to try for a BFP this month or wait until next cycle. My heart says go for it but my brain says wait. I don't know.... I think deep down I am going to wait.

Well I have trainings and things to attend at work today so I don't think I will be able to check back until later!

Hi to Lainie and Bethany! Hope you guys are doing well! Bethany- Did you talk to your dr yet?

Jen
 
Isn't it just human nature to be jealous of those who have what we want?:p I've been drilling my coworker about every aspect of her daughter's pregnancy bc it's almost like I'm trying to live vicariously through her. Sometimes I also read the pregnancy threads on here too. I had a miserable pregancy, but now knowing how truely wonderful the end-product is...I can't wait to do it again!

Melanie, that's great to hear things are picking up the the sex dept.;) Any tips?

The OB's office did end up calling me back. I have an appointment set up for Feb. 2nd. I'm just happy that I'll be seen. By that time if I don't have a period, it will have been over 3 months.

So I'm off today bc my schedule wasn't full enough to warrant me coming in; however, I'll be 5 days/week from now on. I only see Taylor in the mornings when I get her ready for daycare, then in the evenings when I pick her up, she goes to bed immediately. It SUCKS!:(

Jen, yay for ovulating soon! Like I said before, I don't think I could wait another cycle if I knew that I was fertile. Do you think you'll decide beforehand, or just when the time comes?

Lainie, anything new???
 
I’m making it a priority to post here today! I’ve been way busy lately. Today I was supposed to go to the orthodontist (I have braces) but I postponed it to next week so I feel like I have a little more breathing room. I’ve been spending lots of time working on my blogs (ack) and the new www.befitathome.com website.

Aunt Flow is due any day now. I went ahead and tested last night and got a Not Pregnant reading. Oh well.

I’m extremely sleepy this morning. I have been staying up too late and my puppy still has to get up in the night and go out so it’s interrupted sleep. I started Body for Life on Monday and it’s going well (granted, it hasn’t been long). I’ve not been in the mood for my DVDs lately (which is nuts because I have a ton of them) so it’s nice to at least do the weight workouts without using a DVD. Today is a DVD day, though—cardio. I think I might do 4DS HIS cardio premix (for BFL you do HIIT for 20 minutes only—not sure if that workout qualifies but that’s the plan).

Bethany, good that you have that OB apptmnt set up. I have been living vicariously through friends who had a baby a few months ago. He is so adorable, but he’s in St. Louis so I just see pictures and videos of him on their blog. I love the videos—babies do such adorable little things—makes me want one again so much. My pregnancies were o.k. (except I itched too much with the first time) but my labors were tough so I don’t look forward to that again. I’m sorry you miss seeing Taylor more. :( Just try to focus on how you’re working for her and not just for yourself.

Jen, which Amy Bento workouts did you order? I have a lot of her stuff—love her step workouts. Hooray for ovulation! (sounds weird, doesn’t it?)

Melanie, you go girl! Keep having sex! That’s the basic way to get a baby after all (besides other benefits, of course. ;) ).

Susan, 42 is still young enough! One of my best friends didn’t start having babies until she was in her late 30s and she ended up having 4 of them. I think she’d still be having them if her husband didn’t decide he was done (he already had 2 teenage kids as well from a previous marriage).

OK, gotta go change into my workout clothes and do some stepping!

Lainie
 
Lainie, sorry to hear about your negative result. Do you have regular cycles? Is there any chance that this cycle could just be a long one?? Only doing 20 min of HIIT is what turned me away from BFL. Then again, more isn't always better I guess. I don't get a 'high' unless I push myself really hard.:p You're right about remembering that I'm working for Taylor too - I just have to remind myself of that more often.
 
Lainie- I am sorry about the BFN. Maybe it was too early? It's not over until AF shows. I got the two kickboxing ones that she has...I don't remember the names of them. I'm not a step girl so those are the only two that looked interesting to me. I'm just trying to keep mixing up my cardio so I don't get bored.

Bethany- I think the smartest thing is for me to wait one cycle. This cycle is proving to be long and weird anyway so I don't want to go through the stress. It is hard for me not to try especially when I want my BFP so bad. I'm sorry you don't get to see your baby more. It must be a huge change for you. I'm happy to hear that you have a dr's appointment. Maybe you will get some answers and can move forward.

Tonight I did CC V3 and I absolutely loved it! It was my first time doing that one and it was so much fun! I can't believe I actually finished the whole thing too! It just makes me want to go and order them all. But I promised DH I would be good about ordering all the fitness stuff. I also did B&G abs.

Melanie- You busy gettin some action? :p
 
Hi ladies. I have the day off, working on downloading/upgrading my antivirus software.

No noogie for us last night. Maybe today. I've been having fun,....to bad it isn't our "fertile time". Oh well, I'll take all the lovin' I can get!

My Clearblue Monitor & supplies arrived yesterday. I think it'll be a fun way to monitor ovulation. I'll begin it on Day 1 of next cycle.

Anything new happening with you folks?
 
Melanie- Yea for receiving the O kits! Now you can get down to business!

Nothing new here....I did Power Hour last night and boy I forgot how much I love that workout! It doesn't hit my legs like I want but boy my UB was struggling. Today is another run and some sort of abs. DH and I have the weekend off together and are hoping to go out with some friends tonight and let loose. It is much needed.

Still haven't O'd.....I'm starting to get a little frustrated and feel a little down about this. I was really hoping to have O'd already so AF would start and we could get this show on the road. I'm really trying hard not to be impatient and tell myself that body is just healing and getting ready for my next BFP but its hard. I'm hoping this weekend of relaxation will help.

I hope you ladies all have a great weekend! I'll check in soon!
 
Hi everyone. I have some news—still no period so I tested again today and this time it was positive! Of course, I’m trying to remain calm and not get too over-excited since I just now found out and haven’t heard a heartbeat or anything yet. I’d still like to check in here if I may, since anything can happen still and since I like it here.

Bethany, my main problem with 20 minutes of HIIT is trying to figure out workouts I can do with bad knees. I’ve been trying to get DH to agree to us getting a stationary bike but no luck yet. It’s no the kind of thing I’d just go out and buy myself. Anyway, I think that would be a way to do HIIT without hurting my knees. I used to jog some but not so much since having knee issues. My orthopedist told me not even to do step but I kind of ignored that because I love step so much. I only do it on a wimpy 4 inches, though. I know doing a blast premix of one of the Imaxees would qualify for HIIT but again that makes my knees creak just to think about it! Anyway, I’m just doing other cardio at the moment and watching my portions.

Jen, I personally like Amy Bento’s kickboxing workouts, but she’s more complex than most (except her Rumble workout, I guess). I think her kickboxing is usually more of a hi/lo and kickbox combo. Speaking of hi/lo, she’s the only one who makes hi/lo workouts that I like (and I still don’t do them often).

Melanie, is the ClearBlue monitor one of those digital things that you use long-term? I looked at one at the drugstore recently and was about to pick it up when I saw the price. Then of course I didn’t realize until after I left how freakin’ expensive the digital ovulation kit I’d walked out with was. Yowza.

Well, I hope I don’t make anyone else sad with my happy news. I know how it is. I miscarried between my boys and it took me a long time to get pregnant with Ewan. I hope that my pregnancy works out and I hope we are all pregnant together soon!
 
Congratulations Lainie! Woo hoo! You are the first one of us! Of course you can check in here with us! You silly girl, it doesn't make me sad....just hopeful now! I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy!

Well I did CC V3 again today but no abs. My back was bothering me a little so I took it easy and stretched really good. Tomorrow might be a rest day depending on how I feel. I wanted to do KPC until I get the Amy Bento workouts to try.

Well I got laundry and grocery shopping done so that is good. I'll probably clean tomorrow. I think I am going to treat myself today though and take a nap. We might be out late tonight so I need my rest beforehand. :)
 
HOW EXCITING LAINIE!!!:D:D:D I'm sooo excited for you! So you tested positive just a few days after testing negative? And you used the digital ovulation kit? Was this your first time using a kit? (sorry so many questions:eek:). I know it's super early so it's hard not to be cautious and worried...but how wonderful anyway!!!:) I remember when I got pregnant I didn't quite believe it so I'd take a test every week for about 12 weeks(not knowing that if I miscarried it would still test positive for awhile anyway) - I went through a lot of home preg. tests!:p

I'm just waiting for my appointment and trying to be patient about it. I keep thinking that I must be ovulating based on CF, but then it doesn't ever dry up anymore. It's like that infertile pattern of CF described in TCOYF, which worries me. Like my body is TRYing to ovulate but doesn't have enough estrogen or whatever to get to that threshold. And with working FT now I'm exhausted coming home so we haven't had sex all week.:(

Jen, are you still tracking temps? Could the stress of the m/c be delaying things, too?

Melanie, I hope the Clearblue monitor works well for you. Do you have fairly regular cycles? Hope you can start using it soon!

Today we drove out to the beach and met up with DH's uncles who came in from out of town, then got some of my favorite pizza ever - Alpha Pizza - it's a local restaurant here in FL. The weather was gorgeous but Taylor really couldn't play much bc any time we'd set her down she'd just eat the sand.:p Have a great weekend ladies!
 
Lainie, you had me feeling hopeful too so I went ahead and took another test. Negative, of course. I wouldn't know if I WAS pregnant bc I don't get my period! Oh well, less than a month until my OB appt.
 
Oh Fig! I"m so happy for you. "I am not envious. I am not envious. I am not envious. I am not envious. I am not envious"....that was just a little chat within myself.

I'm improving. I'm honestly happy for you AND envious. :p:p:p:p
 
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