The woman I saw who I never want to be!

J

jzsnow

Cathlete
I was at wal-mart tonight, feeling really crappy about my eating, when I saw her. I saw the mom that I never wanted to be, yet I was almost there!

I saw a woman, a very large woman, with her son. He had to have been about 10. They were in the isle with bread, sweets, and candy. She was asking her son if he needed more brownies. She then picked up 2 boxes of brownies, a box of nutty butty bars, a box of snack cakes, and a bag of doughnuts. She said "these should last all week." I looked in her buggy as I was passing her to get my whole wheat tortillas and saw she had ALL junk. No fruit, no grains, no veggies. Nothing but frozen meals, soda, candy, snacks, and chips. I wanted to cry for that little boy!

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! Even though I have not been THAT bad, I was going down that slope. Since our move from VA to AL, I have fed my 3 year old nothing but junk. I have eaten nothing but junk.

That is now changing, thanks to the woman I never want to be.

jessica
 
Good luck, it is a slippery slope w/ kids getting in a junk food habit. As a food addict, I can relate to the woman w/ all the junk food. When you are in it, it is the only thing that is appealing. And hard to imagine a way out. At least to me.
: ) But for today I've had lots of dark green leafys and whole grains and fruit.
 
I know what you mean whenever I see those type of people I tell my fiance that I will never and I mean never let myself get like that. I cringe for the children who live like that because more likely than not food will always be a struggle for them and it turns into a vicious cycle of them teaching their children the same unhealthy habits.
All we can do is teach our kids a healthy lifestyle (although I have no children of my own) so that they can do the same for theirs.

nkuangel
 
Yep, it's no mystery why people who are that large get that way - too much junk + not enough moving around = excess weight.
 
I don't buy produce at our local Wal-Mart because most of it is gross, but I do stock up on nonperishables there because the food is cheaper than at other local stores. So, if you saw my cart at Wal-Mart, you would probably see a cartful of junk food and judge me the way you judged this woman. OK, maybe I wouldn't have the same volume of junk, but I still would have had a lot of junk in my cart even though I spend an ENORMOUS amount of money each week on produce at other stores. I have three teenage boys and a DH who insist on having junk in the house. Two of my sons are actually underweight and one is normal weight. My DH also struggles to keep weight on. All of them eat tons of produce, whole grains, etc. in addition to the junk they eat. I eat less junk food than them and workout like a maniac and I'm the only one who is overweight.

I just hate to think that because I'm carrying some extra weight and had junk in my cart that I would be judged as someone you would never want to be. I feed my kids lots of good foods, encourage them to exercise and try to be a good role model for them in many ways - diet, exercise and also not to judge other people.

Erica
 
I am in the same boat. I buy some junk for them and see people looking at me because I struggle with weight.
 
I find myself as of late too busy worrying about my own health and maintaining my own lifestyle to notice what others are putting in their cart. You will likely never have to worry about being that woman because you are fortunate enough to have the tools to make better choices for whatever variety of reasons that those who have been there can relate to.
 
>I just hate to think that because I'm carrying some extra
>weight and had junk in my cart that I would be judged as
>someone you would never want to be. I feed my kids lots of
>good foods, encourage them to exercise and try to be a good
>role model for them in many ways - diet, exercise and also not
>to judge other people.
>
>Erica

Erica,
This post was not meant to be a downer, just a revelation on my part. Maybe I did judge her by the fruit (or lack thereof) but it made me realize things i had let pass. It's ok if I irritated you for 'judging' her, but I'm glad I did because now I can run the other way!

It's also not judging her...just an observation from what she had. Facts tell the story. Fact was she had only junk...lots of junk!

jessica
 
I am now 35 years old and a complete health nut. BUT, I did not grow up that way ... and up until I was about 25-26 years old, my normal day would look like this:

Breakfast: pop tarts or cupcake with milk
Lunch: pb&J on Wonder bread with doritoes and a cupcake
Dinner: regular spaghetti with canned sauce
Snacks: ALL day long with the cupcakes, cookies, and soda

I know it sounds like I am just giving you a quick run-down and I left out saying I also had a salad with my spaghetti ... but I'm not ... this was the typical day's menu .. for more than 25 years! Oh yeah, and I NEVER excercised! I was lucky to have the sort of metabolism where I never weighed more than 115 lbs in my adult years ... so it never caused weight issues ... but now that I know how to be fit and healthy, I think back and now know, "So THAT'S why I never had ANY energy back then!" Makes me wonder about chronic fatigue syndrome, which I used to think I had, but now I know that it was 100% an indication of all the junk I was eating and the exercise I was not doing!

So I am living proof that you eat what you were taught to eat. So it's very very very important to teach kids about nutrition, health and fitness. And in my opinion, maybe having a box of brownies in your cart indicates you are healthy and just want your junk-food item. But having all those boxes of brownies, and cookies, adn donuts, etc., says to me that it goes beyond just innocent junk. And even if those folks were getting all there healthy food elsewhere, that, in my opinion, is just WAY too much junkfood ... even if you still eat healthy otherwise...it's just too much junk period.
 
I just feel great when I get home from the grocery store, unpack all my fruits and vegetables and start washing and cutting them. I feel like I am doing something wonderful for my body. I don't know if other's feel this way or not, but it feels great looking at the beautiful colors and knowing my body will thank me later. I try to stay away from the junk food. I have little one who is 2 now and I think I might be overly, what's the word? protective when it comes to sugar. I try to stay away from sugary cereals and pop just cause my teeth are so weak and I don't want her to have teeth like mine. Plus she wants whatever I am eating. That stresses to me even more that I really need to be an example. I'd be proud if someone noticed what I was putting on the checkout stand- minus a bag of dark chocolate m&m's! But the rest of it, I guess you could say it's very well balanced. Good break through Jessica! You will feel so much better and like others said, lots more energy.
 
Beauty, if someone looked at you during that time at 115, and looked at me during that time at 180, they would have picked you as being the healthy fit one, and me as being the fat unfit one. That is what is wrong with just viewing someone and making assumptions. At 180, I was very fit, ate too large of portions, but was not a junkaholic.

What I dislike is when someone looks at someone overweight and assumes they are in worse health than the skinny person. These threads never say "I say a skinny woman in Walmart with a cart full of doughnuts", yet I bet they are there.
 
I was looking at your pics...you look great! How did you successfully manage to go from your March 2006 to July 2007 pic. I'm stalled at about 10-15lbs of excess fat. I eat clean and workout but my weight doesnt seem to budge!!

Thanks for any help/advice you can offer.
 
dorothyd, I'm not sure I get your point, as I make no reference to fat/skinny in my post. I just make reference to what can be interpreted by the differences in the amounts of junkfood people are buying. In other words ... is someone getting 1 box of cookies? 1 bag of dark chocolate M&Ms? Or is someone piling in multiple boxes of brownies, cookies, donuts, etc?
 
What is so wrong with not wanting to be over weight, unhealthy, and being part of the majority by eating junk food all day???

Show of hands....who DOES see over weight people with junk food over flowing their grocery carts and think "Man, I wish that was me?" Anyone???

As for skinny/thin...whatever you want to call them...I think the reason why we don't see threads about their grocery carts overflowing with junk is because they just aren't out there...the skinny people, that is. The majority of our population is overweight and obese. That means the majority of the people we see outside our house is overweight and obese. Odds are, the person in any given grocery aisle is overweight and obese. Now the skinny people are buying the junk too...the "skinny fat" people (those who fit into smaller clothes but actually have a body fat of 33%.

I don't see any judgment from the original poster, just an observation that has sparked motivation to stay on track for life.

Call me judgmental (won't hurt my feelings a bit) but just hearing about the shopper painted a visual of a woman I never want to be either!
 
>dorothyd, I'm not sure I get your point, as I make no
>reference to fat/skinny in my post. I just make reference to
>what can be interpreted by the differences in the amounts of
>junkfood people are buying. In other words ... is someone
>getting 1 box of cookies? 1 bag of dark chocolate M&Ms? Or is
>someone piling in multiple boxes of brownies, cookies, donuts,
>etc?


Sorry you are right you did not.

When I see these types of posts, it is always about the fat person with the junk food. Your post showed that there ARE skinny people buying the junk food as well. But people's reaction to a skinny person's junky cart and a fat person's junky cart are very different.

The skinny person probably gets the thoughts of, wow, they are skinny and can eat what ever they want.(even though it makes you feel bad as you pointed out, people don't see that)

The fat person gets more disdain(and this is from what you see posted on various threads, not just this one).

Perhaps the disdain should be that the cart was full of junk, and no mention of the person's size, because we all know the junk is bad for us.

I have really proven that to myself this month, as I have not had junk for 4 weeks, and feel tons better. I will say this though, it cost a whole lot more than it does for some of the convenience and junkier foods. It takes a whole lot more effort to pack healthy lunches instead of going out, and plan and cook healthy meals each night. So I have sympathy for the busy Mom who caves to the less healthy alternatives.
 
"I will say this though, it cost a whole lot more than it does for some of the convenience and junkier foods. It takes a whole lot more effort to pack healthy lunches instead of going out, and plan and cook healthy meals each night..."

This is SO TRUE and it drives me BONKERS!!!! Peppers...to get 3 of them is going to cost me 5 bucks!! On my way to the register, I will see bags of oreos for $1.79, family size Doritoes 2/$4.00, boxes of crackers, bags of chips, buy this and get a free 1/2 gallon of ice cream...

You never see the huge deals on the healthy foods! Strawberries, during certain seasons. I wish I could afford organic...

It IS expensive.

Now, don't even get me started on how long it takes me to pack snacks up for an afternoon at the pool! The ice packs to keep it all cool, it's like packing for an over nighter! But it is pretty darn rewarding to have my two kids devour the grapes, apples, carrots, cheese and homemade bran muffins after an afternoon swimming!
 
I can see Erica's point about judgmentalism. I myself have been a vegan and a clean eater for years. I don't take sugar, alcohol, caffeine, boxed goods, canned goods, frozen goods, fast foods, etc. Everything in our household is prepared from fresh whole foods. I exercise regularly, and maintain an ideal weight and muscle tone for my age and height. Not surprising, I confess that I can't help but notice and be appalled by the junkfood and toxins that some people pile into their buggies.

I confess that I judge their lifestyle. I feel bad about this judgmentalism, however, and try to curb it, as I want to be a more compassionate person, and I find being judgmental makes that hard. Also, people are so much more than their bodies.

Life can be hard and full of suffering and loss. Naturally, people take shelter in all kinds of substances and activities that are no good for them. It is nothing more than human weakness really, of which I too have my share. Hell, even exercise or working too much can become an unhealthy habit/obsession, albeit more culturally acceptable. As far as food goes, we live in a culture of plenty where addictive, high-carb, low cost foods are constantly being offered to us, so it's understandable how people might cave in again and again to this, particularly if they're feeling "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" or experiencing "the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to." As for me, I am just trying to be grateful that I have developed strength in this one little, insignficant, and fleeting area of my life. My higher goal in life is to learn to forgive people for their human weaknesses (still a long way to go), which is why I cringe when I feel that judgmental spirit rising up in myself in the checkout line.

Please forgive me if I sound preachy here. Actually, I'm preaching to myself. I don't want my success in healthy eating to be achieved by finding fault with and feeling better than others--people whose stories or situations I don't even know. That, to me, feels unhealthy and creepy in another kind of way. And still I cringe in the checkout line. Obviously, I have a long way to go.
Manmohini
 
I don't think it is being judgemental but a "spark" to keep us motivated. Not that I occassionaly don't eat junk food, especially during that time of the month. I think after awhile one becomes not only compassionate but passionate about health and fitness. It drives me nuts when Dave doesn't get healthier food.

I once saw a woman with her daughter at Food Lion purchasing white bread, pop tarts, and I just wanted to take their hands and ask why and what can I do to help. Yes I realize sometimes there are deeper issues with eating. The older I become the more I really would enjoy
helping women with eating issues as well as working out. You could probably say perhaps one day it would be a calling.

But on the flip side of this, I was shopping at Walmart when women would roll their eyes at me. Even though I have about 10 more to go, I fill my cart with healthy food (okay I just had to get that vanilla ice cream :D) and get eat s**t, die and go to h*ll looks. All because of my life style changes. I look it as this. Hopefully my example of my buggy would inspire them as well for a life style change. As St. Augustine (or attributed to), preach when necessary and sometimes use words.

I believe showing by example w/o words sometimes is one of the best gifts we can give to others. Just my 2 1/2 calories worth :D Annette
 
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