The Obesity Epidemic

I was in a situation like that at my last job....a coworker who was at least 100 lbs. overweight who resented me. My advice is to leave her alone UNTIL she may ask for some hints from you. I never made remarks about her weight, but she was very vocal about me. She is in her mid-fifties and in increasingly poor health, and no wonder. I know for her it's an attention getter. I worked with her 3 years, and couldn't take it any more.
 
RE: Kids and eating issues

Kathy,

Do you work in the childrens museum in boston? I used to live in the area and was so disgusted when we went there to see the mcdonalds there. The museum is there to educate children, and what message is it sending by poluting their bodies with junk.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I know it is hard to get past that stuff. I was anorexic/bulemic in the past and I now realize as an adult that my mothers relationship with food had a huge influence on me. I am so aware (esp with my daughter) that my attitude towards food is going to affect her life. I will NOT put her through the body /self doubt image problems that my mother instilled in me. Ironically, when I got pregnant the first time- and second and third, I think the reason I gained so much (65 lbs each) is because it was the first time in my life I let myself eat freely and I just went nuts.

But the way I look at it is I can't change the past, I can't help how much I gained, but I am in control of what I eat now and it is time to undo the damage I did to my body.

It just breaks my heart when I see obese children and their parents are obese as well, its almost like the children have no choice because they are being taught to eat in an unhealthy way and don't have a role model for healthy eating. My husband is skinny- has great eating habits always has. I realized I not only need to lose weight for my health and self esteem but to set a good example for my kids. Plus I don't want to be the fat mom on the block and at my weight over 200 lbs, I am the fattest woman on my street now. I went from one extreme to the other and want to fall into a healthy medium. I know I will.
 
RE: Kids and eating issues

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Aug-06-02 AT 06:00PM (Est)[/font][p]Hi Amynicole,
I don't work for Children's Museum, but I do work right next door. You'll be happy to know that a Finagle-a-Bagel opened up right across the street this spring! The bagel shop has a good selection of healthy items to choose from. For so long I lamented about that d*mn Mcdonald's because there was virtually NO other place for those visiting to eat. So now people have a choice.

Hey, good for you for overcoming your eating disorders!!!! I know what a struggle it is (by now you know I had disordered eating my whole life, I also had a drastic bout with anorexia at age 19) but my whole attitude regarding food is absolutely in another universe now, ever since I decided I 'was worth it' 2 1/2 years ago and decided to take charge of my health. It was a self-love move, and that has made all the difference :). I so agree with you on 'you can't change the past...'. I'm right there with you.
The thing is, I wouldn't be where I am now if not for my past. I learned a lot of lessons the hard way, and I'm grateful for that because it has made me who I am, personality-wise, and a stronger, more resilient individual in the face of adversity. Also, I have EMPATHY for others in situations that are similar to situations which I've faced in the past, which helps me from being any kind of judgemental :).

As for my mom, well, my moms my mom, I love her, but I know her limitations, you know? People do the best they can, and she just couldn't do any better. She's not at fault necessarily, she just didn't know any better . I've since accepted my mom's craziness, and she leaves me alone in this regard, as do all of my siblings who have seen all my struggles over the years. Now they are all in awe (some in a complimentary way, some not, but that person would NEVER breathe a word, lest I kick his butt, hee hee ;)) of my devotion and discipline to my fit and healthy lifestyle.

Please keep up your workouts and healthy eating. You CAN do it and have a happy medium for the rest of your life! It's so cool to finally break the chain with yourself. Sometimes I feel like I have to pinch myself because I'm just so happy I started taking care of myself and stopped worrying about how it was going to affect every facet of my life. There is trial and error, though, especially at the 'maintenance' stage, but once you get through those rough waters, it's like coming out of a storm and it's sunny on the other side.

Yes, it is a lifestyle change, but I'm still in love and married to the same guy, he still loves me 'just the way i am' (I just don't ask him 'do I look fat?' anymore!!! :) ), he puts up with my eating habits (and, let me tell ya, I put up with his, too) my family/extended family understand that I made a lifestyle change and I'll bring food for myself if all they have is burgers, etc.,
people's feelings aren't hurt anymore, they get over it once they understand that it's not an affront to them but rather something you need to do to maintain health. Also, my husband is absolutely positively generous about my workout time. He knows that it is something I 'need to do'.

I so appreciate you for being so smart and having the wisdom to guard against passing on bad behaviors to your kids. They are so so lucky to have a good mom like you who is so aware!!!
And you CAN and WILL find the happy medium.
XO
Kathy

added: and if you ever want to talk, you can email me at [email protected]. good luck!!!
 
Joanne

You also have to remember that often people see themselves in a certain way and that if they change they may change something fundamental in themselves and that they will become another person.

I know it sounds weird but it is something that I have noticed in people who have particular lifestyles.

We do develop some very funny/unusual ideas.

Just a thought.

Babs
 
RE: Wow, Kathy!

Hi, everyone. Interesting thread. Last night I took my kids for ai Icee at Circle K and I sat in the car looking at all that junk food and I shook my head because it's so bad, so abundant and hard to resist! Not only do we have this ever abundant junk food, we have become so technilogically advanced that we are getting very little activity.

My husband was starting a DVD the other night and searched madly for the clicker rather than taking two steps forward to start the bloody thing. Our bodies can't keep up with the demands placed upon them. Abundant food, and easy lifestyle equals obesity and that doesn't touch on the psychological aspects of food and activity in the modern world. We have bodies that store nutrients just in case there's a famine ahead but we live in a world of abundance. Education is key. And getting our young folks active! I think support like that to be found here is crucial too.

Bobbi http://www.plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif Chick's Rule!
 
RE: Wow, Kathy!

Hi Kathy,

Thanks for sharing your story. You are so worth overcoming it! I know it is so hard, and I still have trouble with the whole food thing. Funny thing is when I was anorexic being overweight was my biggest fear. I am horrified by my current weight and cringe when I look in the mirror but the big difference between me and my mother is I would NEVER verbalize it to my children and I am working on it. I actually have zero relationship with my mother now. It is a long story and I won't go into it here, but she is an alcoholic and just a mean abusive person and after much therapy I realized for my to get better I could not have her in my life. LIke you I have an amazing husband who loves me. He has seen me at 110 lbs and at 240 lbs and he loves me for me :) That is a great feeling!
 
RE: Wow, Kathy!

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Aug-07-02 AT 05:33PM (Est)[/font][p]Right on, Amynicole!!!!!!!
Good for you for taking control of your relationship with your mom. I understand, I understand. You know, sometimes you just have to do what is right for you and it's too bad if other people's feelings get hurt (in response to your non-relationship with your mom). You have to do what is right and healthy FOR YOU and no one else sometimes, especially if you come from abuse where you're basically shown scorn your whole early life, and not love and appreciation.
So then when you become an adult and if you make it to the point where you can be objective about things, that time then is for you to love yourself and put yourself first!!!
:)
Kathy

added: sorry for my mushiness!!
 
RE: Wow, Kathy!

Hey Kathy,

Sounds like we are on the same wave lenth. I agree, I realized that I had to love myself to be there for others. I realized with my mother, she had my whole childhood and again without going into details, the amount of abuse she bestowed on me, she does not deserve to have me or my kids in her life. Last time I saw her I was 24. I met my husband 6 months after I "seperated" from my mother. Coincidence? I think not because before my decision to seperate I was not emotionally open to a long-term relationship. The cool thing is that my husband knows the whole story and is soooooo supportive of me.

I don't know if this is relavent to you so if not, just ignore it, but there is a book called toxic parents that is really amazing. It really helped me a lot.
 
RE: Wow, Kathy!

Hey, I am in complete agreement that you sometimes have to separate yourself from abuse relatives. I was not close to my mother, and 3 years after she left this earth plane, I have a friend who I am about to adopt as my "mother," or whatever she wants to be in my life. They say we pick our parents before we are born, and that may be true, but I know I can pick one now.

Really, you know you're successful as a parent if, when they grow up, you're kids still speak to you. Both of mine do, by the way, and they are ages 30 & 29.
 
RE: Wow, Kathy!

Honeybunch, that is a great barometer. I've never heard that one before. It makes total sense, I love that.
I'm happy for you that you've found a 'surrogate' mom! You're a lucky woman. The 'picking parents before you're born' thing...very weird. I've heard it over and over, too...

Amynicole-I'm looking up that book on Amazon right now. Thanks for the recommendation! I should send a copy to all of my sisters, too ;) We're so lucky our partners are so great, aren't we??? My husband and me have had some very eerie similarities in our own respective childhoods, so we really relate to eachothers' situations. Thanks for the book, I'm checkin' it out!
XO
Kathy
 
http://www.msnbc.com/news/786015.asp
above is the article in Newsweek. The problem with children and obesity is that they are inundated with commercials that reflect food.. EVERYTHING YOU DO IS GEARED AROUND FOOD... and as a rule the food advertised is JUNK FOOD!..
I also must take responsiblity for my children .. i allowed them when they were young to eat the junk... ! Looking back I wish i would have taught them more about nutrition and exercise.. they now call me a fanatic.. but with age comes wisdom ... And education in the 60's 70's was poorly lacking !!!!!! We were basically thin kids growning up .. well i put my two cents in for what it is worth...
I now get up at 4:00 every morning and workout... I follow a similar diet as Body for Life.. and at 47 I am 130 and 5'7" .. not as thin as in my youth .. but actually better shape...!! smiling..
But when my grandchildren arrive I WILL DEFINITELY be proactive about nutrition and exercise!!! .. We all make mistakes BUT WE LEARN FROM THEM and hope to make changes...
I will not go into a fast food place anymore.... the portions are OBSCENCE!!!! i WOULD RATHER HAVE QUALITY than quantity!!
 
http://www.msnbc.com/news/786015.asp
above is the article in Newsweek. The problem with children and obesity is that they are inundated with commercials that reflect food.. EVERYTHING YOU DO IS GEARED AROUND FOOD... and as a rule the food advertised is JUNK FOOD!..
I also must take responsiblity for my children .. i allowed them when they were young to eat the junk... ! Looking back I wish i would have taught them more about nutrition and exercise.. they now call me a fanatic.. but with age comes wisdom ... And education in the 60's 70's was poorly lacking !!!!!! We were basically thin kids growning up .. well i put my two cents in for what it is worth...
I now get up at 4:00 every morning and workout... I follow a similar diet as Body for Life.. and at 47 I am 130 and 5'7" .. not as thin as in my youth .. but actually better shape...!! smiling..
But when my grandchildren arrive I WILL DEFINITELY be proactive about nutrition and exercise!!! .. We all make mistakes BUT WE LEARN FROM THEM and hope to make changes...
I will not go into a fast food place anymore.... the portions are OBSCENCE!!!! i WOULD RATHER HAVE QUALITY than quantity!!
 
hello everyone! i lurk way more than i post but was very interested in this thread. Donna, your post especially caught me eye when you shared how much you weighed and how much weight you've lost by doing the proper and smart things. i have a friend i've known since college. she's never been thin, but when we first met, she was smaller than what she is now. i don't know her exact weight but i suspect its over 200lbs. she has never really ate properly or exercised until recently. in the spring she joined a gym, started lifting weights, and was noticing some changes. she also plays softball about 5x a week. so what's the problem you say? the problem is that on sept. 4th she is having the bypass surgery. i'm totally against it because i think its a cop out. now before anyone gets mad, i've seen alot of specials on the requirements for the bypass surgery and how it has to be medically shown that your obesity has affected your life and your health. for her it hasn't done that, granted it could in the future. the sole reason for her having this surgery, IMHO, is she's seen several people in her office who were approved for the surgery, whether it was medically necessary or not. the insurance denied her request twice until she made it clear to her doctor that he has to say its "medically necessary". he did and she was approved. she never once before this spring actually started an exercise program at all. hence, i'm against it because she is more than capable of taking the weight off herself instead of taking the easy way out. does she know i feel this way? no. am i going to tell her? probably not because i already think she's in for a big realization once the surgery is over. i have told her that she still needs to work out once the surgery is over and she's able to. i've ALWAYS told her to significantly change the way your body looks, one must lift weights-PERIOD. i would have more respect for her if she worked her a** off to get the weight off instead of taking the easy way out.

donna, congratulations on your hard work that you did. i commend you very much. i've never been overweight and i hope my whole spiel (sp) didn't sound horrible, i just have to vent to someone. i will be there for her surgery and be supportive, but again, i don't agree with her choice.

Luz
 
I'm sure many of us have wanted to say something to a very heavy friend or family member, but did not want to hear the angry response.

From your experience, what kind of warning (put in a kind way, of course) would you have REALLY listened to? Was it something someone said that was your wake-up call?
 
RE: The Obesity Epidemic - more musings

Maybe we should spend less time working and chasing the almighty dollar so we can have a big house and expensive SUV's and less time in front of the computer or TV and more time enjoying a simpler life. I've often wondered what it would be like to NOT have to work constantly to pay bills and what it may be like to not crave all the 'stuff' we're expected to have in order to fit in society as a 'decent' American.

What if we spent more time w/our children in activities that required us to move more, sit less? What if we had more time to cook nutritious, healthy foods instead of being harried after a 10 hour workday and just stopped at the deli or a fast food place to pick up dinner?

These are things I think about and I wonder if there's a way out of the circus! But now I have a mortgage and bills to pay so off to work I go. LOL
 
I really like the idea of mandated exercise breaks during the workday. It will improve employee morale and boost productivity/creativity, reduce depression and illness related absenteeism!

Paresh
 
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