Teens and sex

[paxy]

I have never underestimated the power of prayer. I realize that we, and our children all have our agency and how we decide to exercise it is our right alone. When it comes to my kids and I need all the help I can get. As for Bill Clinton; did he cause all the problems in the subject being discussed. No. But as far as I am concerned he was a catalyst in young people going in a direction that is far from productive. He certainly doesn't share all the blame, but certainly has a share in it.

Gotta tell you, my beliefs had a great affect on the way I lived as a teenager and on my children right now in this world. We talk about sex in our home very openly, the negative and the positive. I let my children know the negative consequences along with the positive ones (i.e. the children themselves). I also believe that we have a God, that when you get off the track will do all He can to get you back on. Fear never has or ever will be a great motivater.

The things that are going on in the schools today curl my toes and it is all I can do to try to keep composure when I hear it. I heartily agree that we has parents are role models and teacher. Having said that, I still can use all the "extra" help I can get.

Cheryl

 

[gettingstrong]

I have a 13 and 16 y/o dd and dh. I feel pretty confident that neither is sexually active at this time. I have taught them that sex is a special gift from God that 2 people that love each other can share. I explained that doing a "one night stand" etc would be cheapening a very special gift. (this is abbreviated from what I said to them). I know they may not wait until marriage however! So I have also told them that it is my wish and God's wish to wait until they are married, but if they decide they are just not going to do that they need to use a condom. I have explained that "pulling out early" drinking a beer or counting on certain days of the month will not protect them from pregnancy or std's. I have explained how common std's are and that it can leave them infertile.

I have gone a little further with my daughter and explained a whole bunch about self esteem. I grew up with a mom that believed your ability to attract a man equated your self worth. This really screwed me up for awhile. I have talked with her about that and that if you rely on a guy to measure your self worth you will be disappointed!! I elaborated much more on this with her and still do probably on a weekly basis.

One thing that is probably most important though is the crowd your kid hangs around with. My ds is relatively naive about different sexual activities even though he has been dating a girl for a year. My 13 dd knows much more because her friends are sluts!! One masturbated while talking dirty on the phone with some guy and then he told everyone at school (of course!) She then denied it and the guys got written up! My dd is not allowed to hang out with these girls anymore and I am keeping a close eye on her.

You have to trust your kids - then double check they are going where they say they are, etc. ;-) Just think back to when you were a teen ;-) Marnie