Hello everyone!!! I wont beat around the bush.. Can you believe my mom went and took my 15 year old daughter for a tatoo!!!!! My daughter spent the whole day with her grandmother yesterday (my lunatic mother)and came home with a damn tatoo. Boy am I livid. I know my daughter is half to blame but I blame mostly my mother. She should know better she's the adult here. I dont even know what to say. When my daughter first told me she was crying sobbing and she couldnt even speak so I thought that she was going to tell me that she was pregnant so when she told me that it was a tatoo it was almost a relief because I couldnt imagine her being pregnant at 15. Anyway here it is the day after this all happened yesterday evening and I still havent called my mom because I dont even know what to say. Im still in shock. I dont even have any tatoo's. Not that there's anything wrong with it but I always told my daughter that if she wanted to get one she would have to wait til she was out of high school. We've had this conversation before my daughter and I about tatoo's cause she wanted one and I said absolutely NO. But anyway any thoughts anybody?????? And my mother told her "dont tell your mother cause she will kill me..." Like I said before my daughter was crying hysterically and told me when she came home yesterday she was apologizing for having gotten the tatoo.
TATOO AT 15!!!!!!!
- Thread starter messyjess
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Matiana
Cathlete
That is shocking! I cannot believe your mother did that. I too would be livid especially since she very well knew that you would not be pleased. What was she thinking?! And to tell your daughter to make sure she kept it from you is all sorts of wrong. Who in their right mind allows a 15 year old to get a tattoo? You really should confront your mother. Be strong and tell her how you feel, and you have every right to have these feelings because this is totally unbelievable. 
horseshowmom
Cathlete
Yikes! I'm sorry to hear about *grandma's surprise*. I can't begin to suggest what you should say to your mom, mostly because I rarely talk to mine, so can't direct anyone in that relationship.
However, I do have 5 teens, almost 20, 19, 18, 17 and 15, so I've had a few *shocking * experiences and conversations.
It sounds as if your daughter is really, really sorry for her decison. Unfortunately, it's one of those more grown up choices that have lingering consequences, but it's also (in the big picture) a great opportunity for her to learn and grow.
Make sure she knows how much you still love her and although you're disappointed in her choice, you STILL love her! I'd have a talk pointing out (gosh, I hate to say it!) but, that her regret is the reason you wanted her to wait until she was older to make such a permament decision! And you can use that as a springboard into other areas about waiting to make life choices.
Good luck with your mom. and I swear I'm not making light, but I am really, really happy it's only a tattoo and not a baby!
Becky
However, I do have 5 teens, almost 20, 19, 18, 17 and 15, so I've had a few *shocking * experiences and conversations.
It sounds as if your daughter is really, really sorry for her decison. Unfortunately, it's one of those more grown up choices that have lingering consequences, but it's also (in the big picture) a great opportunity for her to learn and grow.
Make sure she knows how much you still love her and although you're disappointed in her choice, you STILL love her! I'd have a talk pointing out (gosh, I hate to say it!) but, that her regret is the reason you wanted her to wait until she was older to make such a permament decision! And you can use that as a springboard into other areas about waiting to make life choices.
Good luck with your mom. and I swear I'm not making light, but I am really, really happy it's only a tattoo and not a baby!
Becky
crazystepr
Cathlete
I have no idea what to say. That was incredibly deceitful of your mother to do that. I can't even imagine what I would say or do in your situation.
I'm sorry this happened. You are in the right though. Don't let your Mother think or try and tell you that you're wrong. I would recommend calling her asap, though. Don't let this linger any longer than it already has.
I'm sorry this happened. You are in the right though. Don't let your Mother think or try and tell you that you're wrong. I would recommend calling her asap, though. Don't let this linger any longer than it already has.
LauraMax
Cathlete
I'd be royally pi$$ed! No 15 YO is mature enough to make a decision about something that permanent. Jesus! It's not like a piercing (which would've been much less traumatic IMO), that you can remove & have it heal on its own.
I'm so sorry your mom did this to you! I hope your daughter was crying b/c she decieved you & not b/c she was regretting the tattoo so soon. Poor thing.
I'm so sorry your mom did this to you! I hope your daughter was crying b/c she decieved you & not b/c she was regretting the tattoo so soon. Poor thing.
ShyWolf
Cathlete
I'm sorry but I think your mother was totally out of line here and for her to tell your DD to not tell you she knew it too!
You are the parent and should have been consulted. I don't blame you for being livid you have every right.
Getting a tattoo is something major, a permanent marker that will be with you for always and one that needs to be thought out.
Getting a tattoo should not be done on a whim.
With that said I have tattoos and piercings (and not just on my ear lobes), my DH also has had piercings he's not been inked. So we know the pain and all that it involves.
I got my 1st tattoo on my 35th birthday!
It took me that long to decide what and where to have it at. My ink all means something. My piercings besides my ears have all been done when I was finished having my kids starting at age 31 I'm 41 now.
My 18 yr DD has wanted tattoos and piercings also; as her mother I went and took her on her 17th birthday (after much begging on her part) and signed the consent form to allow her to get her navel pierced only after DH & I sat her down and told her how important this decision is and also about after care which is crucial.
She knows that getting ink done is a very big decision and a permanent one and I have told her to just wait until she is absolutely positive what she wants. She has yet to get inked.
I am just truly sorry that your mother went over your head and allowed a 15 yr old to get inked. I'm just appalled.
I think any one under the legal adult age really should wait and be sure what exactly it is they want done.
As we all know things we have done as teens are sometimes regrettable as adults.
I wish you well.
You are the parent and should have been consulted. I don't blame you for being livid you have every right.
Getting a tattoo is something major, a permanent marker that will be with you for always and one that needs to be thought out.
Getting a tattoo should not be done on a whim.
With that said I have tattoos and piercings (and not just on my ear lobes), my DH also has had piercings he's not been inked. So we know the pain and all that it involves.
I got my 1st tattoo on my 35th birthday!
It took me that long to decide what and where to have it at. My ink all means something. My piercings besides my ears have all been done when I was finished having my kids starting at age 31 I'm 41 now.
My 18 yr DD has wanted tattoos and piercings also; as her mother I went and took her on her 17th birthday (after much begging on her part) and signed the consent form to allow her to get her navel pierced only after DH & I sat her down and told her how important this decision is and also about after care which is crucial.
She knows that getting ink done is a very big decision and a permanent one and I have told her to just wait until she is absolutely positive what she wants. She has yet to get inked.
I am just truly sorry that your mother went over your head and allowed a 15 yr old to get inked. I'm just appalled.
I think any one under the legal adult age really should wait and be sure what exactly it is they want done.
As we all know things we have done as teens are sometimes regrettable as adults.
I wish you well.
Nadja Z
Cathlete
Wow. I think livid is the only available response for something like that. Just so you know, you don't owe her a perfectly articulated response. You don't have to justify your feelings. Tell her exactly what you've told us- that you feel so hurt and deceived and disrespected that you don't even know what to say.
There really is nothing to even argue about here. All you can do is get it off your chest and let her know how you feel. Accept her apology if she offers one and leave it at that. I'm not a bitter person, but wow, it would take me a while to build up trust again in a situation like that.
There really is nothing to even argue about here. All you can do is get it off your chest and let her know how you feel. Accept her apology if she offers one and leave it at that. I'm not a bitter person, but wow, it would take me a while to build up trust again in a situation like that.
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L Sass
Cathlete
Oh - I share the sentiments here. 2 other points -- you said you will call your mom on the ride home -- I hope you don't mean while YOU are driving, like on a cell phone. That would be way too emotional or angry of a conversation to have when you should be driving safely -- please stay safe.
Secondly, I would contact the tatoo parlor and ask for a copy of the consent form that I would assume an adult had to sign. Calmly ask the tatoo parlor owner if ANYBODY there inquired as to whether g'ma had ANY kind of parental authority for such a decision (like a legal paper establishing guardianship of your DD). And when they say they did not, ask them how THEY plan to correct their oversight. Just a thought. My heart goes out to you for your situation.
Secondly, I would contact the tatoo parlor and ask for a copy of the consent form that I would assume an adult had to sign. Calmly ask the tatoo parlor owner if ANYBODY there inquired as to whether g'ma had ANY kind of parental authority for such a decision (like a legal paper establishing guardianship of your DD). And when they say they did not, ask them how THEY plan to correct their oversight. Just a thought. My heart goes out to you for your situation.
Not that this makes it any better but the tatoo is the number 36 very tiny right on her bikini line so that the thought of a strange man touching her private area repulses me UGH!!! My daughter is sooo private she doesnt even undress in front of me I could only imagined how she must have felt.
kathryn
Cathlete
I agree: you mom was WAY out of line, giving her permission to have that done, especially when it was against your wishes. She got some stones on her, that woman! She should have absolutely gotten your permission to do it first, and gone along with whatever your decision was.
It's not like she bought her something that can be easily taken back. What WAS she thinking!
I'm not sure if it can be easily done, but I agree: have her pay for tattoo removal.
LIVID is definitely the right way to feel about it.
It's not like she bought her something that can be easily taken back. What WAS she thinking!
I'm not sure if it can be easily done, but I agree: have her pay for tattoo removal.
LIVID is definitely the right way to feel about it.
L Sass
Cathlete
Jess - here is a link: http://www.aaatattoodirectory.com/tattoo_regulations.htm to tattoo regulations by state. Check to see what your state regulations are - some absolutley prohibit tattoos for minors and others require consent. I would let neither g'ma nor parlor off the hook, though I do think your DD is now caught in the middle. Ugh.
crazystepr
Cathlete
WTH does the number 36 mean to your daughter? And what made her get it in that spot? How innapropriate for a 15 year old! OMG, this is the most outrageous situation. I would kill my mother if she ever did such a thing.
celestialtimes
Cathlete
OMG...this is something my adopted mom would do...She is so good at buying ones affection.
My real mom is totally against tatoos, but she would surely take the youngsters out for a beer or a few...
Oh, man...I wonder if she'll even pick up the phone...ugh.
Nadja Z
Cathlete
Okay, so I had to check urbandictionary. And yeah, I'd classify that as inappropriate for a 15 year old. I would have to refrain from smacking that tatoo artist silly if he were in front of me. Since your daughter is obviously feeling apologetic towards you now I would use the opportunity to find out what in the world is going on that would motivate her to get that. Let her know that she messed up, but you forgive her, and get the communication lines open stat!
celestialtimes
Cathlete
OMG...I was just there too! That's very inappropriate for any age...it's more like a tramp stamp...sorry...I can't believe a grandma would do this...no matter how out of her mind.
sparrow13
Cathlete
WOW! I just checked too and totally agree with Nadja. What's in the 15 year old head that she wanted that?! Gosh I was thinking hearts or maybe the Grateful Dead bears.
Sparrow