Sorry need to vent...(long)

Yeah, exactly! Go Nancy!!!

Don't give in to this kind of wheedling. No it isn't some new trend by parents. If some gift giver were to ask me what they could get my child, then OK, I can make suggestions, but I would never presume they would buy my kid expensive electronics stuff.

I actually think the books are the best thing you could give, because then the boy at least has the wherewithal to get an IQ higher than his mum's!

I like the idea of donating a gift in his name to Katrina victims and informing this "friend" of your intention in no uncertain terms.

Are you sure she is a real friend of yours? She sounds so childish to me.

Clare
 
Hey Nancy, love the new picture by the way. You look great. Must be your new relaxed approach is working for you. Either that or the ice cream diet!

Clare :)
 
Sounds to me like you've picke the wrong friend. Her husband sounds really nice. Bles him.
Your friend need to grow up. How old is she? Behvaing like a child. Pathetic.
 
Lori -

We are just seeing the tip of the iceburg. It's getting so out of control. When are parents going to realize that these are CHILDREN!!! They are giving these kids everything at such a young age that there's nothing for them to actually look forward to growing up for! Like we had to do.

Back this summer when my 18 year was having her senior pictures taken with my car in a park - I also had some pics taken for my husband (long story short - it was a Trans Am that we had restored, so I was wanting a pic for him for a gift) anyway, one of my co-workers noticed that I had my pictures taken with the car also. My youngest was with us and my co-worker asked why she didn't have her picture taken with the car also??? I said, "Because she's not a senior." Her time will come! Then the co-worker went into this whole big bunch of crap about "Oh didn't she get her feelings hurt....blah, blah, blah."

Children need to learn that there are some things that they can't do and accept it! Life is going to be awfully hard for most of the kids growing up today - especially if when they become adults and heaven forbid someone tells them NO!!!

Merry Christmas
Dianne

PS. My youngest told me she wanted to go shopping at the mall and I told her that she was becoming quite a little snob. We shop at Walmart!
 
Okay, I have a new rant that parallels this one. What's up with the new tradition of having to buy a gift for siblings when one sibling is celebrating a birthday!? When we were kids my brothers and sister did not expect to receive a gift on MY birthday, nor I on theirs. Somewhere along the way a new tradition has been started where if one kid is having a birthday everybody gets a gift so no one will feel left out. Oh Pleeeease! Kids are so friggin spoiled today--and no wonder they're so impatient. My SIL always expects us to buy presents for both of her kids whenever there is a birthday and I refused. Her kids are just going to have to get over it!

Michele
 
Thanks, Clare. And I totally agree about the gift to the Katrina victims! I think it's definitely the way to go in this case.
 
Michelle -

This goes right along with the whole "hurting their feelings" crap. Kids don't have to deal with anything these days and are going to make very crappy adults!!!

If EVERYONE is special all the time, then NO ONE is ever special on birthdays and such. Right!!

People need to get a grip!!!!!

Dianne
 
I just want to be counted here as someone who has not noticed that kids are any greedier or any more demanding. In fact, I think the kids today are generally awesome.

My DH's nieces and nephews ALL send him birthday cards on his birthday. I can't ever remember sending an aunt or uncle a birthday card in my whole life. They are all kind, considerate, nice kids.

And my brother's kids are amazing. Their parents are very wealthy, but they are completely unspoiled. They do charity walks and raise money for charities and they still get very excited over the presents I buy for them. They are really kind, big-hearted kids. And all their friends are the same way.

I wish I had been more like these kids when I was growing up. The parents today seem to be to be doing a really great job as far as I can see.

Just my two cents.

-Nancy
 
"He'll be mad if he doesn't get the games he wants". You have got to be kidding? That alone would make me feel it would be better not to "anger" this child by giving him something such as a book which he would not want if you did not intend to buy the little ingrate a video game in the first place. A gift should be graciously accepted or the giver is robbed of the blessing of giving. You've been robbed and he deserves nothing because if you get him a game, he might feel his rude behavior is acceptable and if you don't, you know he will toss the gift aside unappreciated. Since you can't smack his mother for reinforcing his rudeness and having the audacity to call on his behalf, the next best thing is to not buy for him. Being that it has been established that his mother is an idiot to call on his behalf in the first place, it may very well be he cannot read. :) Make an angel tree donation of his gift and let him know you are giving the gift to someone who will appreciate it. :)
Bobbi
Elves rule!"


Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
I'm with you Nancy. I've found kids today MUCH more into volunteerism than I ever was.

In this case.. I fault the mother alot.

I pride myself on not being judgemental - unless it comes to parenting.

Overall I'd say most the parents who put their kids first, and really were there for them end out having pretty darn good kids. The parents who are too busy for the kids or cant be the parent have lots of problems. Not suprisingly so!
 
Robyn -

You're so right - like anything else - you get out of parenting what you put into it. And I think it's so important for parents to realize that they are not their kids' friends. They are parents. Act like it.
 
That's great, Robyn and Nancy. Robyn, I appreciate your disclaimer and I would have to 2nd that. The kids who have a lot of parental involvement ARE much better all the way around. However, many of the kids I know are severely lacking it.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I was raised in a home where good manners were demanded and charity was demonstrated, expected from us (me and my siblings), and given in abundance. It was a major focus all around me--home, school, and church. I don't see that today near as much. Of course, most kids today are raised in homes where 1 or both parents are working and they don't have the time to commit to their children that the parents of my generation had. Just my .02.

Again, I know some kids that have great parents who are involved and commited to giving their children a good and decent upbringing, and those kids ARE great!!

ETA I agree with Christine 100%. Many parents I know behave more like friends than parents and their kids have zero respect for them.

Michele
 
I think that child may have too much parental involvement. She's involved to the point she's willing to call a friend and insult her to try to have her child's wants met. That's how monster children are created. My kids can certainly be monsters but they do know how to say please and thank you, particularly when receiving gifts and I don't think any of them would ever complain about something they received or ask for something different if they didn't like a gift. Mom shows poor common sense and child has poor manners because mom's not teaching them. Since he's ten, it is really she who should be taken to task. He has learned that his behavior is okay with mom and she's even in on it. :)Besides, can you think of a better gift than a book? :)
Bobbi
Elves rule!"


Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
Nancy, I've been pretty impressed with the kids my girls grew up with. Many were very caring and compassionate individuals with no fear of hard work or responsibility. But they're all grown up and having kids of their own so...

I've had one too many folks tell me so-and-so's children are so well-behaved and when I meet these little darlings, they are decently well behaved, but there's this undercurrent of disrespect I sense from these children. They talk to adults like they're equals (I'm sorry, they aren't...yet!) at least in knowledge and experience. And you have to be careful how you talk to the children...the parents expect you to treat their kids like they're extra special...I'm just not comfortable with these modern youngsters...not like I was with the kids my girls grew up with...maybe it's just me.

Sparrow, I don't know about anyone else, but I was lucky with my kids. A lot of the worst behaviors I've seen in other children, my two girls never exhibited:) At least in public, (where to me it really counted because the whole world sees what they do and hears what they say) they were pretty well behaved. And yes, seen but not heard. Not too much.
 
As a teacher, I was shocked at the behavior of some of my fifth graders regarding gifts, prizes, rewards, etc. From many, I heard variations of "Is this all I get?" or "Oh" (in an obviously, even exaggeratedly, disappointed voice), or "Can I trade this for something else." I used to be angry and hurt by this behavior until I realized that they really don't know any better and need to be taught.

Now, I tell my children right off the bat how it will be. If you receive a gift, whether you like it or not, you say thank you --enthusiastically. If you do not, you lose the gift. Period. Some of them lose the gift. That's the way it has to be. I feel like a real Grinch McScrooge, but I only have to do it once or twice before the rest learn a very valuable lesson.

I think of it this way -- you have to love your children (your own or those in your charge) enough to let them hate you for a while. They'll see the truth when they grow up. The alternative is much harder. I grew up as the center of my own small universe. Boy did life slap me in the face! I want my son and my students to be a little better prepared.

Shari
 
I love your post, Shari.

I agree with others about making making a donation to Katrina victims in the family's name. I believe the father would approve of this idea, too.
 
Same sorta thing has happened to me in the past. I was told by one friend to not give her 3 year old girl any more books because she couldn't read yet. Duh! The whole point was for you to sit with her and read it to her. I got the reply "Who has time to read to their kid?". Don't send books anymore was the bottom line.

Then this year my husband informed me that my sister-in-law said to just give money because her boys don't like the stuff I usually buy. Fine, I get into brainlock every year searching hard for something nice for them, so cash this time is MUCH EASIER.

So much for the giving season being a joy. I admit I don't enjoy gift giving anymore. I only do it because I feel it is required of me. Can't wait until January 2 is here and it's all over!
 
I got the reply "Who
>has time to read to their kid?". Don't send books anymore was
>the bottom line.
>

i'm sorry to hijack here but what garbage. everybody has at LEAST 10 mins. before tucking their kids in to read ONE or TWO books. my mom was single mom of 4 kids before meeting my now DAD and she took the time to read to us. in fact when my mom asked for a good gift for viola this year, i told her books and i told her what level viola can read at. she also got those "I SPY" books. i don't know maybe b/c teaching my child to read help with her speech therapy but i never see a child love books as much as my little girl.


kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
It's one of the most important thing to do to turn them into readers. I just placed A Christmas Carol beside my 8 year olds bed so we can enjoy Mr. Dickens before Christmas arrives. :) He still prefers being read to over reading on his own.
Bobbi
Elves rule!"


Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
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