Oh, Laura, I know how you feel. It will be 3 years on Feb. 17th when we had to put my boy, Kita, down. He was a Samoyed with the greatest disposition. I hated making the phone call; I was bawling on the phone! My DH took him in that day and being the macho type (he's a cop) he bawled all the way to the vet and during the process. A few days later, we received a card from the vet and this poem was included:
If It Should Be
If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done.
For this last battle can't be won.
You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest
Your love and friendship stands the test.
We've had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer?
So when that time comes let me go.
Take me where my needs they'll tend
But stay with me until the end.
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you do for me.
Although my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Do not grieve it must be you
Who must decide this thing to do.
We've been so close we two these years
Remember joy among your tears.
Author unknown.
I was crying while typing this because it brings back so many fond memories. Now, 3 years later, I still miss him and think about him almost daily. We've gotten another dog since then who just turned 2 a few weeks ago. While he's filled the void in my heart in some ways, there will always be a special place just for Kita.
Hang in there,
Terri