So do you REALLY know when it's time?

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
Yet another pet post--I'd thought Cosmo was hanging in considering her age & various conditions. But this morning, I guess it was right when she finished eating, she fell on the kitchen floor & couldn't get up. She ended up crapping all over herself. I managed to clean most of it off the floor but she wouldn't let me clean her up & BOY does she stink!

After about 10 minutes of scrambling she did manage to stand (I tried to help but it seemed to upset her even more), so I figured she was OK at least at that point. Not sure what I'll find when I go home for lunch.

Question is, can she keep living this way? I mean, if these problems just happen first thing in the morning & the rest of her day is OK & she's happy, it's not time, right?

I was really hoping she'd make it through the holidays........:-(
 
I am so very sorry!!! It's hard to see them suffering! I was fortunate (sort of), when I was in college, I got a last minute ride home for the weekend. Our dog, Mollie was jumping and leaping around like a puppy, she was so excited to see me! The next day, Mom and I went out on some errands while Dad ran his separately. When Mom and I got home, we found Dad wrapping her up in a shroud and carrying her out to the grave he had already dug! Talk about a shock! He said that he just found her in the kitchen lying there like she was asleep! I was so happy that I was able to get home that weekend!
 
Laura-

Your heart will tell you if it is time. Very dear friends of ours went through this the past year wit htheir 15 year old dog. They couldn't bear the thought of putting her down, but somehow they knew it was time to do it. (Last weekend)

I am praying for your and dear Cosmo.


Judy "Likes2bfit"


If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.



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I know it is hard to let go but you may have to. I have read of Cosmo and I hate to see both of you going through so much pain.

You'll know. Maybe you need to let Cosmo know that if she's tired of fighting it is okay. You think they don't understand but they do.

I had a kitty who needed to be put down a few years ago. I had finally made the decision on a Saturday and we planned to take Pumpkin in on Sunday. We sat with him that night and let him know it was okay and we understood. He passed later that night at home in bed with us.

Of course I wish both you and Cosmo the best.
 
{{{{{Laura}}}}}

It's so hard to define, but you will know when it's time. When DH and I had to put Gunther to sleep last year, we knew it was time when we saw something in his spirit disappearing and we knew it just wasn't going to get better.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this...:(
 
Lauramax,

Ultimately, this is your decision. We have a Chow Chow who is quite elderly. She has hip problems and arthritis. We have put her on the highest dose of Rimadyl we can buy and still worry about her. Recently, she slipped and broke a toenail completely off. She bled like crazy. The vet fixed her up and we asked him the same thing. He said he advises that if the dog can eat and drink, is not lethargic, and can go potty, putting them down is not necessary. When they stop doing any of those things, he usually recommends to folks that the time has come. He told us that Sheena appears happy and should be okay for a few months more.

I have cried many times in the last month and the few words offered by our new vet has put my worried mind at ease. We have bought a child gate and training pads in the event that we must contain her to a room for her safety during the day as well.

Hope this helps; you are definitely not alone.
 
{{{{{Laura}}}}}

I've been faced with this dilemma 3 times in the past 2 or 3 years, with 2 dogs and a kitty, and I still don't know how to answer that question.
 
Well I guess it's the "potty" part that's getting to me. Cosmo is one of those dogs who would explode before she went in the house. But during the last two weeks or so she's pooped in the house pretty much every day (and let me tell you, poop from a 90 lb dog ain't a pretty sight....errr smell either). I know this must be emotionally traumatic for her & I think it's b/c she's just losing control of her bodily functions.

<sigh> I guess the end is drawing near. Thanks for the support & well wishes. She's the best friend a girl could ask for & I guess at this point all I can do is make sure her final time here is as good as it can be.
 
Laura...hugs to you, it's a difficult time, and it brings tears to my eyes. I think it's a combination of all, it's when you determine it's time for you to let go, and when she is no longer comfortable. I had a difficult time with all the pets I've put down, I usually waited until they could no longer eat, hold down food, stand etc, lost weight etc.
Amber
 
Oh Laura, I am sorry for what you and Cosmo are dealing with. I agree with others on this thread that you will know. You might ask your vet, or someone who knows you and Cosmo personally, for guidance on whether she is suffering, but the decision should be yours alone. Only you can see the balance between this kind of episode and how happy and OK she is the rest of the time. Just give her as much love and TLC as you can. (((((((((HUGS))))))))))

MissL
 
Oh, Laura, I'm sitting here at work and just stopping in between assignments. I just read your post and started to cry and I am sitting here in my office wiping my tears away. I'm sure you'll know when the time is right. I'm so sorry.
Nancy
 
Oh I am sooooo sorry... My heart is aching for you. I cry about this so often... 1 of my 3 is 15 this year and I am starting to see the signs of her aging. I do exactly what Kirsten suggested.... I lay with her and stroke her little hips and tell her how much I love her and am grateful for her all these years... I talk to her about letting me know when its time to let go, where she'll be going and that I will be with her again someday. I've read so often that our animals need to be given permission to let go just as our human loved ones do.
I am so sorry for your pain.
 
Sometimes when our pets let us know that it's time, we don't want to see it. I hate to say this, but it sounds like maybe it is close to time for dear Cosmo (if the fall or the getting up was accompanied by wimpering, or she has that pained/clouded look in her eyes, or if this happens repeatedly, then I'd say it's time).

Have 'the talk' with her (I find that towards the end, it does help me to tell my pet it's alright to let go, and if s/he wants to go to sleep and not wake up in the morning, it's alright....I've already had 'the talk' with Scooter...more than once...he just keeps snapping back!)
 
Laura I am so sorry. ((hugs))

We knew when it was time to have our 15 year old Daize put down. Her back legs gave out and she couldn't get up anymore. She couldn't control her BM's, she would just lay in it and couldn't get up. It was so sad. But it was in her eyes, when you would look at her, when you could tell she was near the end.
 
LauraMax,

I'm so very sorry you & Cosmo are going through this! My situation is still fresh & it brings me to tears, thinking of you & Cosmo. When I told my story on this forum, it really helped. Every single person who responded made a huge difference so I knew I had to respond & tell a little more of my story.

As you know, I just went through a very difficult time with our dear girl, Hippy, & she had similar problems as she aged. My DH had to carry her up & down the stairs & she also got to where she couldn't stand on the wood floor in the kitchen where we kept her food & water. A few times, we found her in there after she had lost control, slid, & simply couldn't get back up. Another time, we let her out while she could still get around & she never came back. So DH had go out in the back yard & find her. When she got back in the house, I discovered she was so weak that she fell when she tried to do her business & it was all over her. Poor little girl seemed so ashamed. So we cleaned her up the best we could & trimmed all the hair around that area of her body. She also lost control of her bladder a lot & like Cosmo, that just wasn't like her at all. Again, this seemed to bother her more than it did us.

But she continued to hang in there & didn't seem to be in pain, so we never made that decision, although we were very close a few times because she was so pitiful. In the last 2 weeks of her life, we moved her dishes into our living room where she could stand on the carpeting. She had a pretty rough time for awhile but she was never hurting so we still put it off. Looking back, I don't know if we should have made that decision or not, as there were very difficult times for all of us, but we did have "the talk" with her as many others have described. We both laid with her, loving & petting her, while we sent thoughts that it was okay to go if she needed to.

For us, it was just that she was never in any pain, no whimpering or noise at all. She never even made a sound when DH picked her up so we feel like she was just old & weak. It was difficult to see her having such a hard time but since she seemed to be okay other than weakness, we didn't feel like it was time & we never took that next step. But if she had been in pain, I know we would have done it.

Sorry this was so long but I guess I just feel like I still have so much to share on this subject. Anyway, I hope this may have helped a little & I will be thinking of you & Cosmo. By the way, I just looked at her picture & she is so pretty. She reminds me of Hippy & I'm sure she is a wonderful friend. So please hang in there & keep us updated. I'll be thinking of you.

Kel
 
Kathryn, she's had these falls before--always first thing in the morning & with the whimpering & elbow-crawling from the bedroom to the stairs. That's why I started sleeping downstairs, b/c upstairs is all hardwood (altho I did put a yoga mat by my bed where she sleeps, the cushioning & traction seem to help) but downstairs I have an oriental w/really thick padding underneath & she seems to have no trouble at all.

When I sleep past say, 8 am, she's just fine when I sleep upstairs. Weird how the later I sleep the easier she gets up.

Yeah, it's the pooping in the house that really worries me. This morning she was scrambling around trying to get up so of course it ended up all over the place. She's only peed once (what I christened "Lake Cosmo") but she's pooped in the house like every day for the last 2 weeks.

She seemed OK when I was home for lunch but the limp is more pronounced and yeah, I'm starting to see that "I'm suffering" look in her eyes. This totally sucks. I had to stop at the vet for more meds & only got half as much as usual b/c.......well, you know. :(
 
Laura,

A you know I'm going through the same thing. Picante has been having some good days since last week, but still has trouble getting up especially in the mornings and not eating much. I thought yesterday that I had finally found a food that she would eat. She gobbled it up yesterday and last night I gave her some more before bed. (She sleeps in the laundry room). She had some trouble getting up this morning, but part of that was because the egg crate pad that I keep on the floor had to be washed because one of the dogs had wet on it night before last. So she was on the vinyl instead of the area that has her padding and bed. Once up she went outside and came back in and seemed hungry. I fed her and left her alone to eat. Right before I left for work I go to get her to put her outside and she has thrown up the largest puddle of goo I've ever seen. She had not hardly touched this mornings food so what she threw up was last night's feeding and the water that she had drank. How or why her food from last night stayed in her stomach without digesting has me really concerned. I'm expecting a call from my vet today. They never did get back with me about the blood results from last week, because they lost her sample. We had to go back and get another draw on Friday. In a way, I'm hopeing they will have found something so they can say, "Well this is what's causing this". I hope they will have some advice on the throwing up, too.

As for knowing when the right time is, here is what I'm basing my decision on for my dog. 1)Does she seem to recovery from her episodes of feeling helpless when she can't get up? 2)Does she have a desire to play and explore? 3)Is she able to play and explore? 4) Does she still seem to enjoy life? 5)Does she appear to be pain? As long as the first 4 questions are answered with yes and the 5th with no, I know we are not ready.

I know this is so very hard for you, but I think when she is ready you will be able to see when she is getting to the point that she can't take much more of it. My heart goes out to the both of you. Keep us posted.


Jean
 
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