lesliemarie
Cathlete
I am so depressed that I want to resort to taking a whole bottle of laxatives to get rid of the pain. I don't know if anyone else has done this before or not, I have been doing this now for almost a year.
so depressed
- Thread starter lesliemarie
- Start date
lesliemarie
Cathlete
I don't have anyone here at all. I have shut myself off from everyone, I just had to tell my secret, I am sitting here trying not to do it, I went for an hour walk/jog to think things through. I also have been taking pure ephedra daily.
Dear Leslie,
Seems like you've been going through some really rough times recently. I can't believe that you may have to get rid of your dogs. I'd be devastated too. Please, please, please don't take laxatives or ephedra. As a former bulimic, I know how comforting it can be to attain that empty feeling and just completely "cleanse." As you know, it is so so so unhealthy, mentally and physically, and I'd hate to see it become an addicting behavior. It sounds like you do it enough that it may already be. As for ephedra, I think it's even more unhealthy than laxatives. It is so easy to become addicted to that energy "high." I took it on and off for a while until I actually though it might literally be making me crazy. One day, I totally didn't feel like myself, like something was just so wrong in my head, very hard to describe, and very frighting. And of course, the back of thee bottle usually mentions psychosis, and to even think something of that nature could be beginning was enough to make me stop.
You seem like such a nice person, and I'd hate to see you develop even more problems from taking these things. Would you ever consider therapy just to get your feelings out there?
I hope you feel better.
Gina
Seems like you've been going through some really rough times recently. I can't believe that you may have to get rid of your dogs. I'd be devastated too. Please, please, please don't take laxatives or ephedra. As a former bulimic, I know how comforting it can be to attain that empty feeling and just completely "cleanse." As you know, it is so so so unhealthy, mentally and physically, and I'd hate to see it become an addicting behavior. It sounds like you do it enough that it may already be. As for ephedra, I think it's even more unhealthy than laxatives. It is so easy to become addicted to that energy "high." I took it on and off for a while until I actually though it might literally be making me crazy. One day, I totally didn't feel like myself, like something was just so wrong in my head, very hard to describe, and very frighting. And of course, the back of thee bottle usually mentions psychosis, and to even think something of that nature could be beginning was enough to make me stop.
You seem like such a nice person, and I'd hate to see you develop even more problems from taking these things. Would you ever consider therapy just to get your feelings out there?
I hope you feel better.
Gina
T
trevor
Guest
Leslie,
I think you really need to talk with someone. I am no expert of course and am not telling you what to do but I think you should. You cannot go on forever abusing yourself like this. Can you channel that emotion into something positive for yourself? Don't bring your whole life crashing down because one aspect of it is not going right.
Sounds like there is alot of turmoil going on around you right now.
I don't quite understand the dog/car situation. Can you just explain the whole story and perhaps someone in here can give you some suggestions? If you cannot park on the street or on your property, where the heck are you supposed to park? I mean, those are the options right? There MUST be more to this....please just stay calm and explain it further.
Big hug!!
Trevor
I think you really need to talk with someone. I am no expert of course and am not telling you what to do but I think you should. You cannot go on forever abusing yourself like this. Can you channel that emotion into something positive for yourself? Don't bring your whole life crashing down because one aspect of it is not going right.
Sounds like there is alot of turmoil going on around you right now.
I don't quite understand the dog/car situation. Can you just explain the whole story and perhaps someone in here can give you some suggestions? If you cannot park on the street or on your property, where the heck are you supposed to park? I mean, those are the options right? There MUST be more to this....please just stay calm and explain it further.
Big hug!!
Trevor
C
Carol_is_fit
Guest
I'm with Shari on this one, Leslie. Find someone to help you find out why you keep feeling this way. I hope you interpret this post in the way I'm intending it to come across - and that's as someone who cares about you and wants you to get the help you need. Most of your posts are filled with near-catastrophic reactions to things. Then you get a few opinions and a lot of sympathy, then you post you "feel better" and have lots of LOL's and stuff in them. But to come on here now and basically tell us you've been abusing laxatives and ephedra for over a year is a pretty bold statement. I know it took courage for you to write this. But it also tells me - and I'm sure others as well - that you need help. You need it now. You have kids. Do it for them. But do it now.
As for the dogs and the car, I'm sorry but I don't understand it. Why would you not be able to keep your own car on your own property? That makes no sense. As for the dogs, are you violating a barking rule or some other sort of statute? If you aren't, then why do you have to get rid of them? It makes no sense.
Anyway ... please get some help, and please get it now.
Carol
As for the dogs and the car, I'm sorry but I don't understand it. Why would you not be able to keep your own car on your own property? That makes no sense. As for the dogs, are you violating a barking rule or some other sort of statute? If you aren't, then why do you have to get rid of them? It makes no sense.
Anyway ... please get some help, and please get it now.
Carol
lesliemarie
Cathlete
as for the car they don't like it there because it makes their ugly city even more ugly which is nicely painted and restored and parked nicely with no garbage around it, my neighbor complained because it blocks her nosey view of the neighborhood!!! as for the dog I am not so upset about that because I was getting rid of them anyway, I am so upset because no matter what we do here our neighbor calls the police for every piddly thing, last year it was because we parked our car the wrong direction. And it goes on, she complains about EVERYTHING!!! and she doesn't like me mowing the lawn in my Bikini top and shorts!! she called on that also!
Houses here are not selling, there are houses for sell here that have been on the market now for a year.
As for the laxatives I like the empty feeling I get, I know it is hard to explain, as for the ephedra it is another way of self punishment, the less I eat the better I feel and the less hungry I am the better it is. All that I do is a way to relieve some of the stress and anger I feel inside.
I have no family and I keep my self away from people just for the reasons that are happening now. But then that really isn't working either LOL.
I have not slept but two hours last night and don't feel like I can sleep at all. The more I think about what she did the more angry I get.
Houses here are not selling, there are houses for sell here that have been on the market now for a year.
As for the laxatives I like the empty feeling I get, I know it is hard to explain, as for the ephedra it is another way of self punishment, the less I eat the better I feel and the less hungry I am the better it is. All that I do is a way to relieve some of the stress and anger I feel inside.
I have no family and I keep my self away from people just for the reasons that are happening now. But then that really isn't working either LOL.
I have not slept but two hours last night and don't feel like I can sleep at all. The more I think about what she did the more angry I get.
Leslie, I'm gonna do some tough-love here. Nobody here is going to save you from your problems. The drugs feel good to you. So you have a choice to continue with the drugs for a superficial high or get your butt to a counselor, doctor, or rehab. It's easy to have a drug habit and complain about what's wrong with the rest of the world. It's much harder to find yourself, your real self, in all this garbage. It's a known fact that it can't be done while using any kind of drugs.
So the question for you is, do you really want to get better? If the answer is yes, then seek out the people who can really help you. They will support you until you can support yourself. We are always here as the "extra" ears but nothing will change if you just chose to talk to us. You can email me anytime to discuss what you're doing to help yourself. Blessings, Alexis
So the question for you is, do you really want to get better? If the answer is yes, then seek out the people who can really help you. They will support you until you can support yourself. We are always here as the "extra" ears but nothing will change if you just chose to talk to us. You can email me anytime to discuss what you're doing to help yourself. Blessings, Alexis
T
trevor
Guest
Sounds like the...
neighbor from hell. Jeez, why can't people just mind their own business. She called the cops because you had a bathing suit on? The cops must've thought that was a joke. Man!!
T.
neighbor from hell. Jeez, why can't people just mind their own business. She called the cops because you had a bathing suit on? The cops must've thought that was a joke. Man!!
T.
Bobbi
Cathlete
Leslie, you cannot control your neighbors but you can make choices about how you treat yourself. Abusing your body isn't going to make this situation go away. It could damage you irreparably. Stop that! That's an order. Throw it away. Get it out of the house and start fighting your neighbor!
You don't feel like you have any control but you do. But to find it, you must treat yourself like the tresure you are! I agree with Alexis, you might want to find someone to talk to. I'll bet at times you feel as if all your energy is used toward your family and all the situtions that arise but save something just for you. Focus on your diet and exercise and finding time to relax and throw off those responsibilities if only for a short time. Laxatives rob your body of nutrients and do nothing to slim you down. Ephedra, wasn't it banned? Pitch it and dig in your heels and don't do that to yourself or your family. Start replacing these negative behaviors with postitive ones. Pick up your barbell! The more positives you have in your life, the easier it is to deal with BS! Sit down and make a list of 5 ways you can deal with this that are better than laxatives and ephedra. See your doctor, get on an anti-depressant but don't hurt yourself to get even with your neighbor! It doesn't work that way. E mail me too. When I think of you, I smile. You are gentle, warm and lovely. Try to see yourself through my eyes. Treat yourself better!
Big fat hugs to you, Leslie! You CAN take control of this!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
You don't feel like you have any control but you do. But to find it, you must treat yourself like the tresure you are! I agree with Alexis, you might want to find someone to talk to. I'll bet at times you feel as if all your energy is used toward your family and all the situtions that arise but save something just for you. Focus on your diet and exercise and finding time to relax and throw off those responsibilities if only for a short time. Laxatives rob your body of nutrients and do nothing to slim you down. Ephedra, wasn't it banned? Pitch it and dig in your heels and don't do that to yourself or your family. Start replacing these negative behaviors with postitive ones. Pick up your barbell! The more positives you have in your life, the easier it is to deal with BS! Sit down and make a list of 5 ways you can deal with this that are better than laxatives and ephedra. See your doctor, get on an anti-depressant but don't hurt yourself to get even with your neighbor! It doesn't work that way. E mail me too. When I think of you, I smile. You are gentle, warm and lovely. Try to see yourself through my eyes. Treat yourself better!
Big fat hugs to you, Leslie! You CAN take control of this!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
C
Carol_is_fit
Guest
Leslie, read Alexis's and Bobbi's posts to you. I agree with them. YOU are the only one that can help yourself, and it's a choice YOU have to make. If you self-destruct, it won't only be yourself you hurt. YOU HAVE KIDS. The choice is yours, but it doesn't only affect you. Your kids shouldn't have to suffer because of your poor choices, but they will, and are probably doing so already. I'm done now. Please go get help.
Carol
Carol
lesliemarie
Cathlete
I am taking care of that found one home with a veterinarian student and another to a good breeder. Still looking for homes for two more and that is all. I am not so upset about the dogs I was selling them off anyway and getting out of the dog thing. I am more angry that my neighbor didn't have the balls to come to my face and discuss it with me I would have told her I am taking care of the situation. as for the suburban I am going to be her worst nightmare come true LOL she is really going to hate life by the time I am done with sweet revenge!!!!! I am so over trying to hurt myself now I am going to focus on sweet revenge}(
found one home with a veterinarian student and another to a good breeder. Still looking for homes for two more and that is all. I am not so upset about the dogs I was selling them off anyway and getting out of the dog thing. I am more angry that my neighbor didn't have the balls to come to my face and discuss it with me I would have told her I am taking care of the situation. as for the suburban I am going to be her worst nightmare come true LOL she is really going to hate life by the time I am done with sweet revenge!!!!! I am so over trying to hurt myself now I am going to focus on sweet revenge}(
Bobbi
Cathlete
Ah, Leslie, I said POSITIVE things! LOL! Kill her with kindness! Go talk to her! Open the lines of communication and see if this isn't all just a huge, silly misundestanding. You sound better. Vengeful but better!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
lesliemarie
Cathlete
Oh yeah I am better but angry and can't help but feeling like revenge LOL sweeeeett revenge.
Leslie,
I am in agreement with many others who have written - you need to get some help from a counselor. From reading your posts I feel like your emotions go from one extreme to the opposite. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to control our emotions we can't. Our chemistry may be all messed up. Sometimes we need help, in the form of anti-depressants, counseling, therapy... etc. I have been at those "extreme" moments and did go for counseling, and took an anti-depressant for awhile. I will never regret that. The counseling helped me to heal and learn to better cope with life and what it hands me. Please do this for yourself! You have nothing to lose, and much to gain. I hear your pain and desperation, but no one can change any of it, except you. Revenge is not the answer.
You are in my thoughts and prayers,
Lynn
I am in agreement with many others who have written - you need to get some help from a counselor. From reading your posts I feel like your emotions go from one extreme to the opposite. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to control our emotions we can't. Our chemistry may be all messed up. Sometimes we need help, in the form of anti-depressants, counseling, therapy... etc. I have been at those "extreme" moments and did go for counseling, and took an anti-depressant for awhile. I will never regret that. The counseling helped me to heal and learn to better cope with life and what it hands me. Please do this for yourself! You have nothing to lose, and much to gain. I hear your pain and desperation, but no one can change any of it, except you. Revenge is not the answer.
You are in my thoughts and prayers,
Lynn
macska
Cathlete
Hi there
Just a bit of warning in here -- the use of laxatives with ephedra is extremely dangerous. The laxatives can dehydrate you real bad, while the ephedra will raise your blood pressure and increase your heart rate. On a bad day one has a good chance for a cardiac arrest.
Take care
Mari
Just a bit of warning in here -- the use of laxatives with ephedra is extremely dangerous. The laxatives can dehydrate you real bad, while the ephedra will raise your blood pressure and increase your heart rate. On a bad day one has a good chance for a cardiac arrest.
Take care
Mari
Leslie:
I agree with Alexis that you are in need of professional help. If you have been taking a whole bottle of laxatives now and then in order to feel empty and regain control of your life, you are either suffering from clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder or an eating disorder.
The truth is that acting in this self-destructive way is not, ironically, giving you control again. Quite the opposite. You are losing it and hurting youtrself, which as a busy mother with a child with AHDD, you really can't afford to do. You have to get healthy and get help: because if you don't, you will not be able to care properly for your children. They need a healthy, emotionally balanced mother.
This is a problem beyond the scope of advice from some kind hearted Cathe forum friends.
First stop on Monday is to see your PCP. Talk it over with them. They can help you put your life back in order without you having to take it out on your own body. You are not a punch bag. Please don't treat yourself like one. Get your self esteem back. Fight back.
All best wishes,
Clare
I agree with Alexis that you are in need of professional help. If you have been taking a whole bottle of laxatives now and then in order to feel empty and regain control of your life, you are either suffering from clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder or an eating disorder.
The truth is that acting in this self-destructive way is not, ironically, giving you control again. Quite the opposite. You are losing it and hurting youtrself, which as a busy mother with a child with AHDD, you really can't afford to do. You have to get healthy and get help: because if you don't, you will not be able to care properly for your children. They need a healthy, emotionally balanced mother.
This is a problem beyond the scope of advice from some kind hearted Cathe forum friends.
First stop on Monday is to see your PCP. Talk it over with them. They can help you put your life back in order without you having to take it out on your own body. You are not a punch bag. Please don't treat yourself like one. Get your self esteem back. Fight back.
All best wishes,
Clare