Should have I ? Or not?

L

lorihart

Cathlete
Bit of a story for you, its been on my mind for a little while.

At work,(I guess I could start with telling you where I work)I work for a refueling stop, for private jets.Most of them going from the U.S to Europe.Over the last couple of monthes these same guys keep returning, they are from Dallas.One is older and is just a pain (b/c we take these people back and forth to their hotels and it seems as if he is constintly wanting something)while the other guy is in his 40's and is more laid back but chatty. I have spent a bit of time with both of these guys so its more informal then if they were strangers.
The 40 yr old keeps talking about how I am just like a "george'in peach", and he keeps telling me that I should really come to Texas sometime. Sure I would like to see Texas but I think we may be on different wave lengths here.
Today I had to do a little running around so he came along and he started telling me about the problems him and his wife are having....etc..all day he spends a fair bit of time with me.
Today was my last day at work until Sunday and these people are suppose to be gone by Sat. He probably won't be back this way for a while b/c he just took another job with an airline. While I was in the kitchen he asks if he could have my e-mail address.At that time one of my co-workers walked in and the topic was dropped.
I then left with the 3 of them to take them to their hotel.On the way to the hotel he doesn't say much and I just say good bye to them.I then go back to work.
I get back to work for about 15 min and the phone rings...this is him again, "yeah, I never did get your e-mail address" So I give it to him. My co-workers were there but they didn't know who was on the phone.

I haven't stopped thinking about it since b/c I feel guilty. I am a married women. Sure I am only young but that doesn't mean I will be ever up for a "good time". And maybe he just wants to keep in touch. Who knows, he probably as a million e-mail address's in his pocket.But he also knew when to drop the subject to.He didn't re ask me when my co-worker was around, nor did he ask me when his co-workers were around. When he called he made it seem as if he had forgotten.
I try to tell myself that I don't have to reply to his e-mails.Its not like I gave him my phone number or plan to meet him somewhere later.But why do I feel guilty? Probably b/c I KNOW that DH would be pissed.
Anyway...someone make me feel better. Tell me I am over reacting!
Lori
 
Just think about how it would make you feel if your husband had given his email address to a women under the same circumstances and you might have the answer to your question.

:)

Elaine
 
"Just think about how it would make you feel if your husband had given his email address to a women under the same circumstances and you might have the answer to your question. "

EXACTLY!!! Is it o.k. if your DH tells some cute little "Georgian Peach" that you guys are having marriage problems and wants to e-mail her?

Not trying to make you mad, just trying to put you in someone elses shoes...your husbands shoes and the other guys wife's shoes. Look at it from their perspective.
 
True, Im not trying to dig myself out of an hole or anything. I just wanted to see someone elses perspective and I have.
Thanks, I would be rotted if DH did that. I am one who finds it hard to get out of tough situations though.If he had asked for my number or something I would have diffently said no way.
I think I will mention it to DH later, I know I will feel better and he will probably shrug it off.
Lori:)
 
Your woman's intuition was telling you everything you needed to know about what was happening, Lori. Learn to trust that little voice, coz for us women, that little voice is usually right on the money!

Don't fret, though. I might have done the same thing, just to keep things from getting "complicated" with a client. Then, I would have started doing what you're doing: Wondering if it was the right thing to do. Then, I would have thought, "You know, if I really didn't want things to get complicated with a client, I would have said something like, 'Oh, I can't give you my email. My husband wouldn't understand or like it.' Then, if he pushed the issue, I would have said, in a sweet little innocent voice, 'Now, are you trying to get me in trouble here? You don't want me to lose my job or make my husband mad, would you?' " If he's a smart man, he'd drop it at that point.

We all do things we regret later, but it just gives us an opportunity to learn from them.
 
Lori, do you live in Georgia? If you do, the fact that he calls you a Georgian Peach makes sense. If you don't, then I don't know what is going through this guy's head.

Also, men who travel are the worst kind to cheat on their wives. They are very good at making up stories to get women in the sack. I speak from experience here. I've heard many a line or two from these types of guys...I've learned to read between the lines quite well. I would bet that this guy has a woman "in every port", so to speak. So, even if you are ever-so-slightly tempted to engage in hanky panky...don't. It doesn't sound like you want to, but just in case you are, I want to save you some heartache later.
 
You can't change the past; you can only change the from this moment on. Don't beat yourself up. You were put in a terrible situation and you made a mistake - just a mistake. It's only a really BAD mistake if you fail to deal with it right from this point on. That would be great if you could talk to your dh - that's one sign of great communication - and you'd get it off your chest and the 'secret' wouldn't hold any power any more. You should also have a plan firmly entrenched in your mind in case this guy does email you. I'll end as I began - you can't change the past; you can only change from this moment on. Don't beat yourself up - it was a mistake.

Trish
 
Southern slang for a woman, a man considers luscious, ripe, firm & juicy and ready for the picking. He's a smooth talker with the ladies, obviously (or so he thinks). That would have me rolling my eyes to the back of my head.

Marla
 
Thanks so much.
Catwomen- I wouldn't dream of the sort. I am in an awesome relationship. And I also made that quit clear today.When he was whining about his wife, I was telling him how we never fight and so on.
My post wasn't to stop me from any hanky panky, thats not the problem, for a few reasons. If I were single I wouldn't bother.Im not at all intrigued by this guy nor do I care if I ever lay eyes on him again.I love DH very much.
Men who travel are the worst, I know that. Thats why I said he probably as a million e-mails in his pocket.
I have no idea why he calls me a peach.He says I am just like one.I was just wondering what that was.

I just really didn't know how to deal with it at the time and the first time he asked, I thought the problem was solved. Never in a million years did I think he would call me at work to ask again.
Thanks again,
Lori

:)
 
Lori, you obviously didn't know what it meant, 'cause you spelled it just as he pronounced it. Like a southerner. Cheers!

Marla:)
 
Lori,

In your defense, you were put on the spot! Sure, now we can think of a thousand things that would have gotten you out of the situation. The nice thing is, if he does e-mail you (and he will), you won't be put on the spot. You will have time to consult us before you respond:7 :7 :7 LOL! You may choose to never respond to the e-mails and next time you see him, if he asks why you never responded you could say "Oh, I never check my e-mail!"
 
I think you should tell your husband about it - not in a way that would annoy him, but just mention it in a light hearted way.

I've been chatted up occasionally on the train to/from work. I'm just polite, but make it clear that I'm in a relationship. When I tell my boyfriend, I say it in a jokey way, eg "I've still got what it takes!" I think he's pleased that I'm attractive, but he knows that he has nothing to be jealous of.
 
Yeah,DH is used to it as well. I think he is happy that he as an attractive wife but not so happy when we go out and people are hitting on me. I don't see it so much though.I also made it quit clear yesterday that I was in a very good relationship but he as nothing to lose right? So why would he care so much about my life.
Lori:)
 
I think everyone here is right on the money. I think it was pretty clear what the guy wants when he stopped talking to you about getting your email address in front of your coworkers and his. Obviously he does not want anyone to know what his intentions are or why would he have cut the conversation short when others are around. Asking for your email in a friendly way would not have been a big deal in a social/work setting otherwise. My thoughts are that he wants to possibly have a fling with you and try to coerce you through the emails where he wife can not keep tabs on him.

Telling DH is a very good move especially since you would not want some woman doing this with him.
 
Lori,

Some advice from someone married almost 24 yrs and been thru some stuff. You need to tell your husband that you gave your email to this man. You shouldn't have ANY secrets from him, because if it does come up later its gonna cause problems.......
Just some words of wisdom for ya.... Rhonda:7
 
I wouldn't have given it to him. If he emails you, don't respond. Put his address in the SPAM filter.
 
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