Should clean eating do this to me?

Zozo

Zozo

Cathlete
I firmly believe in clean eating. I don't suffer with my Ibs when I eat clean, I have more energy, my workouts go more smoothly, i recover more quickly.. and I think my muscles look more toned.

Yet, I feel I can't explain this to people. My closest friends don't understand that I'd rather eat a plate full of mixed peppers and peanut butter than a hamburger; they don't understand that I'd rather drink water than alcohol, because it's better for me.
Does anyone else feel that wanting to eat clean isolates you? It seems to isolate me when i eat out. My diet is limited enough because of my IBS... but it's further limited by the fact that I try and stay away from chemicals that disguise themselves as food. But I think that there isn't anything wrong in trying to get lots of nutrients, rather than lots of chemicals. And eating at home, I don't have a problem.
How do you deal with the desire to eat right, when you're with friends, or eating out?
 
I find this too. I think the real problem is one faced by so many of us as we try to become more healthy. The truth is that on some level your friends know that drinking alcohol and eating various foods aren't healthy for them. People know what they should be doing with their nutrition and exercise and don't want to be reminded of their bad choices. By making healthy choices you are reminding them (on some level) that they are making poor choices for their health. That takes away their power to complain about their health and threatens their sense of self (hmmm, if she is doing it why can't I).

How do I handle it? Well, I have to say that over time the groups of people I hang out with have changed to people with similar goals and values. The people who were determined to spend every night drinking and binging on pizza, nachos and chocolate ultimately became so uncomfortable with me that I chose to move on. Now I have 2 main types of groups that I hang out with, those who live like me and those who live and let live. And I have to say I am much happier and healthier for it.

What a sad commentary that those people in my life were so threatened by my determination to be healthy that they needed to push me out of the group. It says way more about their need to feel validated in their poor choices than my need to feel healthy. At first it really hurt, but as time has gone on I am go grateful for the split.

Good luck,

Shayne
 
My friends/family have learned to deal with ME! :p

I do not eat completely clean but I do try my best to abide by a generally healthy diet. I have my cheats and admit to having a glass of wine every night because I adore it and it's relaxing for me but going out to eat too much is no good because of the complete loss of control of what I put in my mouth. The selection for someone who is trying to maintain a healthy diet is incredibly limited and even the selections touted as healthy usually leave a lot to be desired. :(

Basically I pick and choose when I will cheat and when I won't. What's worth it and what's not and I have, many times now, turned down an offer to go out to dinner b/c it doesn't work for me for some reason or another. What I really hate are back to back days of eating out. That kills me so I try to avoid it like the plague! :eek:

On the other hand, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that there is a part of me that loves going out to eat. For some (unfortunate) reason, it's one of my fave things to do. Never lost the taste for crap I guess! :p I have just learned not to over-do it.

It's a daily battle but I have been at it long enough that my friends and family pretty much know what to expect from me and have come to accept it. :)
 
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Yes, it can make one feel isolated. And even if other people generally eat more healthfully than the SAD, they tend to indulge when going out.

Definitely make the outings more about conversation and enjoying each other's company rather than the food. If your 'closest friends' make that difficult or continue to make you feel uncomfortable, maybe it's time to find some new friends for these activities, and/or spend time doing other things with these friends.

I used to feel a bit isolated when we had departmental parties and a store-bought cake was the centerpiece. Then one day I realized that I didn't even WANT the cake, so why should I feel left out or deprived? Lightbulb moment! From then on, I pretty much ignored the food, and decided to focus on the socializing that didn't involve 'non-food' food.

(mixed peppers and p.b.? That's something I've never tried.)
 
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My friends and family and I are on the same page when it comes to eating well. I never had a problem with this even when my kids were young. Those were the meals that were served and my kids ate without any argument. They didn't know anything else, Went to McDonald's once, no soda or junk in the house and they never expected there to be any. We had ice cream, birthday cakes and healthy chips but my really big thing was NO soda. I hate that stuff. Who cares what others think and I am not going to defend myself. The diet in this country is crap. It is barely food--really most of it is not even food.
 
This doesn't make me feel isolated at all. I tend to try to act as a good role model in these circumstances. I don't push what I do on anyone, but when you eat with people who eat healthier, you tend to eat healthier too. I know that sometimes people feel guilty eating crap, so I am sensitive to not making people feel bad for their food choices, as I don't want anyone to feel bad when they are eating with me. I don't apologize for eating healthily, and I don't apologize when I don't. I don't expect anyone to eat the way I do. My suggestion would be if you are in a restaurant with friends that may not eat as healthy as you, try to order first, so your positive choices can gently and subtly influence their choices without anyone saying anything, and so you are less likely to be negatively affected by anyone else's less heathly choices. If people ask me about it, I explain why I make the choices I do from a health standpoint and how it works for me personally, not from a perspective of making "good" or "bad" choices, avoiding the whole guilt thing.
 
I hear you. I have the IBS too. Mostly, I don't eat out anymore. If I do, I take gluten enzymes and papaya enzymes (Trader Joe's has good ones that are cheap and chewable.) If I'm out I order tea, fish and a side salad. Just say, "Thanks but I'd rather feel good." It can be isolating in the beginning but then people get used to it and you also find friends who are more interested in the same things. You might need some new friends.
 
It is definitely difficult trying to eat healthy when everyone else around you isn't. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail.

But, ultimately, if you're good at eating clean when your friends aren't, then it shouldn't matter if they understand it or not. You're watching what you eat and exercising while you're still young and it will benefit you later in life. Your friends might have some physical problems as they get older because of bad habits and things they've ingested that they can't reverse. (Who needs alcohol anyway when you can just drink grape juice?) :)

It does feel a bit isolating, but I think it's something you can get used to. Eventually, your friends will have to get used to the fact that you don't want to eat all of the same things they do. After all...it's your body;you should be able to decide what you feed it.
 
Oh, yes! I am a fitness instructor and when my students me what my biggest secret (besides not eating meat) is I tell them I do not drink alcohol and the room always goes silent. It is like I turn into an alien when I tell them I don't drink.
But, be proud of who you are and how well you take care of yourself. People are going to talk no matter what...And, I say let them! Better for them to judge you on how healthy you are than talking about you being unhealthy.
 
Jennifit said:
Oh, yes! I am a fitness instructor and when my students me what my biggest secret (besides not eating meat) is I tell them I do not drink alcohol and the room always goes silent. It is like I turn into an alien when I tell them I don't drink.
But, be proud of who you are and how well you take care of yourself. People are going to talk no matter what...And, I say let them! Better for them to judge you on how healthy you are than talking about you being unhealthy.
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Jennifit expressed it perfectly. Whenever I mention that I am a teetotaller (read: sober alcoholic) and do not drink at all, people look at me like I just admitted to pedophilia. And when, on those rare occasions, I actually state that I simply do not want one of the home-baked cookies a colleague brought in or didn't gain weight over the holidays or don't eat 3 full plated meals each day or just don't overindulge, "the room always goes silent" and I become invisible.

And let's not even talk about any casual conversation about working out, the fact that I do it consistently 4-5 times per week and that it is my primary enjoyable pastime. That's when people look at me like I've sprouted a third nipple.

AND - try being a 49-year-old who chooses heavy weight-lifting, nosebleed intensity and high impact cardio! THAT always puts me in the Outer Limits, including here on this forum and the Video Fitness forum.

Understand this, Zozo: It is no sign of mental health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. Keep on witcha bad self and your good habits - and learn to live with a smaller sisterhood.

A-Jock
 
I don't have these issues. I do what I do and my friends do what they do. One of them has even come right out and said she likes to eat and enjoys her food, so she's going to eat what she wants. That's great for her and eating clean is great for me. We all accept each other and our individual choices. I don't try to change anyone's diet or move them from being sedentary to being physically active. I do what I do and if my successes inspire one or more of them to change, that's great and if not, to each his own.
 
Aquajock said:
Jennifit expressed it perfectly. Whenever I mention that I am a teetotaller (read: sober alcoholic) and do not drink at all, people look at me like I just admitted to pedophilia. And when, on those rare occasions, I actually state that I simply do not want one of the home-baked cookies a colleague brought in or didn't gain weight over the holidays or don't eat 3 full plated meals each day or just don't overindulge, "the room always goes silent" and I become invisible.

And let's not even talk about any casual conversation about working out, the fact that I do it consistently 4-5 times per week and that it is my primary enjoyable pastime. That's when people look at me like I've sprouted a third nipple.

AND - try being a 49-year-old who chooses heavy weight-lifting, nosebleed intensity and high impact cardio! THAT always puts me in the Outer Limits, including here on this forum and the Video Fitness forum.

Understand this, Zozo: It is no sign of mental health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. Keep on witcha bad self and your good habits - and learn to live with a smaller sisterhood.

A-Jock
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A jock, that's so nice. And EXACTLY what I'm on about. I feel embarassed to admit to regular exercising THAT I LOVE... and people criticise me for it when I do. But you're right.. I won't change, I can't, I love it too much.. so I'll just have to get on with it, and leave it to everyone else to deal . :D Thank you
 
Shayne, it's nice to have someone who empathises. In fact, it seems most people on here know what I'm on about. Which suggests it's not ALL that isolating after all.

I love my friends to pieces... and I KNOW that they don't deliberately make me feel like this. And they are wonderful people. So, I don't want to deliebrately isolate myself from them. I think, I'll just have to sit content in the knowledge that I'm doing nothing wrong. We all can make our own decisions. It makes me feel a lot happier that I'm not alone.

As for the no alcohol thing... i (perhaps hypocritically :eek: ) have absolutely no problem if my friends are drinking/drunk. In fact, I find I can lose my own inhibitions around them, even when I haven't had a drop. I'm about to leave for university (well, a month's time)... and I have been very worried that the no alcohol and clean eating thing would isolate me. I know nobody else my age that is teetotal. Everyone who's replied on here encourages me... I shouldn't be embarrassed by the fact I don't drink! So thank you for all your encouragement.
I take on board all the suggestions... I am not going to distance myslef from my friends.. but if they can't put up with some of my decisions... then it's them that are distancing themselves from me. Luckily, i have a few who I KNOW don't care WHAT i eat or drink. Again, your advice has been great.

Oh, and Kathryn? MY ABSOLUTE favourite snack. Sliced orange bell peppers, with a tsp of peanut butter and a tbsp of low fat greek yoghurt. It's definitely my favourite! YUM :) Beats crisps ANYDAY ;)
 
With all the great advertising on how they sell our food from being nutritious to down right dangerous, people turn a blind eye. Everywhere you turn at the stores (beautifully packaged) yet full of chemicals, at the TV, radio, fairs, amongst each other...are telling everyone that this kind of food tastes really good, is nutritious, good for you...blah, blah, blah.

Food Inc. (the movie) has opened my eyes to all that. They call it a veil. Little by little revealing the food industry and their dangerously unhealthy bad habits, for greedy money. As food is poisoning people (ecol i), recalls (eggs come to mind)...These things are conclusive evidence as part of the veil is revealed layer by layer.

Unfortunately, down the road people are hypnotized again, through advertisements and start to trust the industry again. I use to think that it was tooooooo big for me to do anything about it, one person all alone. How can I make a difference? I wouldn't even be able to begin to know the hows on doing so. But I was wrong. Us, the consumers have a huge vote in the matter. When we buy/purchase, we can either buy chemically filled unhealthy foods, or buy healthy food. By purchasing wholesome healthy food, our receipts from the stores, tells the industries that this is what we want to eat and we together can change it.

Advice:

Continue to buy your healthy food, and talk to your friends as things happen in the news about our food and other things that happen to human beings from all industries, be aware... Tell them to watch Food Inc. and other films that explain what is happening in our industries. Education is powerful. You are amazing for wanting better choices of food.

Alcohol, that is another huge society thing. We all need to think about the choices we make in our lives and try to make ones that are in tune with our minds and bodies, so we can make better choices in every aspect of our lives. I've had devastating experiences with it, and don't want it in my life at all. You are amazing for not wanting it in your life as well.

I think I rambled on to much.

Janie
 
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Good for you for eating healthy, I am working on it to do better. After two years of a sedentary lifestyle due to excessive studying, my goal is to live healthier by eating clean and whole foods plus working out. Fortunately, I didn't gain much during this time frame.

People feel guilty for not doing what they should so to feel better, they put someone down that is. Like the saying goes,"do well but don't do better than me."

Keep on the great path you are on!!
 
Just adding my support as well. :)

I started exercising and eating well at 15 and never looked back. I hung out with people who drank and did drugs, but I just did my own thing and didn't bother thinking twice about it.

Some of my friends and family teased me. It was usually done with affection though. Now, at the age of 40, most have given up. :p I still have one family member who bugs me to have a drink, "Come on...just one!" I smile and move on.
 
Zozo said:
As for the no alcohol thing... i (perhaps hypocritically :eek: ) have absolutely no problem if my friends are drinking/drunk. In fact, I find I can lose my own inhibitions around them, even when I haven't had a drop. I'm about to leave for university (well, a month's time)... and I have been very worried that the no alcohol and clean eating thing would isolate me. I know nobody else my age that is teetotal. Everyone who's replied on here encourages me... I shouldn't be embarrassed by the fact I don't drink! So thank you for all your encouragement.
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Zozo, I want you to print up your own words and read them at least once a day when you get to college. Isolation - if indeed you find yourself isolated, which may or may not be the case (more on that in a minute) - is survivable. However, binge drinking has reached epidemic dimensions on college / university campuses nationwide, and if my own home state of Minnesota is any example, an entire generation of undergraduate-aged students is being severely compromised and killed because of alcohol consumption.

I'm tired of reading about college-aged students dying because their BAC was over .40. I'm tired of reading about students getting drunk, staggering and falling down an embankment, and drowning in the Mississippi river. I'm tired of reading about students getting drunk and dying in car crashes. I'm tired of reading about young women getting raped while drunk. And I'm tired of knowing that even if the binge-drinking generation doesn't get itself killed while in college, scores of thousands of today's college-age partiers are tomorrow's detox denizens and revolving-door rehab peeps.

If I sound a little off the rails about this, please forgive me. In the earlier days of my sobriety (we're talking about early '90's here) I spent a fair amount of time doing 12-step work at youth chem-dep treatment centers. And despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that I myself used alcohol (A LOT) in my teens and early 20's, the youth of these patients tore my heart. Especially when I knew what the odds were for their sustained recovery, which wasn't that hot.

I'm 49 now, and with the benefit of hindsight, I wish I'd made the commitment you appear to have made: stay away from booze.

Do what you need to do to find college-aged friends who share your values about clean eating and teetotalling. (Not sure how that word is spelled.) I bet you a dollar you find a few. You may want to set up your own Facebook page once you're in school; that would put FB to its highest and best use!

Thanks for letting me ramble.

A-Jock
 
NRG Woman said:
How do I handle it? Well, I have to say that over time the groups of people I hang out with have changed to people with similar goals and values.


Shayne
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I read this somewhere that we are the *average* of our five closest friends. I completely agree with you on this, but it sure is hard to pass on a beer after a group ride.
 
I was thinking about this more, and I think sometimes the no-alcohol thing can be even more isolating if you are with a group of people who are 'going out for a drink" (rather than just a group who are having a glass of wine with a meal, for example). When the main purpose is to drink (to 'loosen up' or even 'to get drunk'--the latter of which seems to be the goal with a lot of college-age people!) and someone is not participating, they can be seen as a wet blanket (and IMO, it's not that pleasant for a non -drinker to be around people who are drinking a lot, as the drinkers can tend to seem annoying, like finding things funny that really only are if you're three sheets to the wind).
 
Aquajock said:
Zozo, I want you to print up your own words and read them at least once a day when you get to college. Isolation - if indeed you find yourself isolated, which may or may not be the case (more on that in a minute) - is survivable. However, binge drinking has reached epidemic dimensions on college / university campuses nationwide, and if my own home state of Minnesota is any example, an entire generation of undergraduate-aged students is being severely compromised and killed because of alcohol consumption.


A-Jock
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Totally agree! I went to a party school, was in a sorority, was "popular", all that junk and I didn't drink. I tried, hated it, and it made me sick. When you are sober and your friends are drunk, you will REALLY love yourself. You won't gain the extra "15" because booze is what really stacks the weight on. I learned early to do what the heck I wanted to do, not because of what society or someone thinks I should do. It leads to a much better life. In high school I worried, worried what others thought and was a misery case. Life is too short.
One day you might have a girl and what would you tell her? Wouldn't you be proud if she had enough self-esteem to do what she wanted to do? Good luck in school and have a blast.
 
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