Save for a rainy day, or live like there's no tomorrow?

E

eaglobo

Cathlete
This is a topic that has always intrigued me. My wife and I have no children, and have pretty much adopted the stance of let's enjoy it while we're here, we have no one to leave it to anyway. I handle out monthly bills, DW hates doing them, and while I'm no fan, either, I can tolerate it a little more than she can.

Our philosophy has always been, if we have enough in the back to cover a few mortgage payments, than we pretty much don't deny ourselves anything.

The RT is a great example of this. I am such a people person..it's the main reason I signed up for the RT, not the classes themselves, though I've never taken Cathe's kickbox class live, so I am really looking forward to that.

I could have saved myself some $$$ by not getting a hotel, and just driving to and from the festivities on a nightly basis. I honestly never thought of doing that...I want the experience of the bus rides to and from...etc.

I guess this post is probably geared toward those of you without the responisbilites that come with being a parent, I'm sure it would change the way we viewed things.

My main reason for this post is that we are coming up on a very unhappy anniversary...a very nice couple we used to socialize with had just retired to the shore, to realize their dreams...two days later, the wife was diagnosed with cancer and passed away soon thereafter, this couple socked all their money away for this moment, and it was gone in a flash. I still drive by their home, with the sign "Jean's Dreamhouse" hanging outside it, unoccupied.

God willing, I have many more years left, and I plan on spending them for the here and now, and not the future.
 
My Dad always said, "Live like you're going to die tomorrow, but save as though you're going to live forever.." I work with the elderly, and as the decades pass these days, ya better be prepared!
 
RE: Save for a rainy day, or live like there's no tomor...

Jerry,

My DH and I have two DDs and we do not save for a rainy day, for several reasons. We don't have the resources, we would rather use any extra money to help others (family, friends, charities), and we want to practice daily trusting God to direct our lives.

I think of just such a tragedy happening as your friends' situation. Saving all that money and doing without (although we do with out a lot now), all to never use it.

We also try to teach our girls that you take care of your family. If my mom gets sick and cannot live alone, she'll live with us. A lesson hopefully we won't have to take them up on someday ;)

Mary
 
Jerry, I'm glad you plan on spending your many years left in the here and now rather than the future. However, many of us who have exercised (pun intended) the discipline to learn how to enjoy life while at the same time saving for a rainy day - or robust old age - would prefer not to have to support the live-like-there's-no-tomorrow types who have squandered themselves into elderly poverty through our taxes. Housing, health care, food and other basic living costs go nowhere but up, and you can't hope to maintain even a minimal standard of living if you don't prepare for it financially.

Life lasts a long time, pal. You might not have seen people who are old and broke, but I have.

Just in passing, DH and I too are child-free, and because we have exercised (there's that darned pun again!) discipline in earning and spending habits we have no mortgage, no consumer debt other than a small car loan, and many, many, many sheckles in investments while at the same time enjoying the best life has to offer - each other's quiet company.

A-Jock
 
RE: Save for a rainy day, or live like there's no tomor...

I don't think it has to be either/or, and depends on what specifically we're talking about. With money, I think it is important to be practical about the future. DH and I have (modest) investments and savings for this purpose, and want to grow them for the future.

But I also don't believe in always denying yourself pleasure, or with having nice things but never using them because they are too good for everyday. My mom has the most beautiful set of dishes she got as a high school graduation present. The other day I ate off one for the first time! At 65 she's asking herself why the hell she hadn't used them over the years. I'd rather use my stuff.

Sparrow

"The winds of grace are always blowing but it's you who must raise your sail." - Sri Ramakrishna
 
RE: Save for a rainy day, or live like there's no tomor...

DH and I also have no kids, and we try to tread that fine line between splurging and saving. (Or rather, you might say we splurge for awhile and then are frugal for awhile). We both have sort of dull jobs (I'm a paralegal and he's a law librarian), and we stick with them for the fairly decents salaries and benefits, medical insurance and retirement plans, etc. However, we do have WAY too much credit card debt, which we justify by "Well, we have a lot of equity in the house, we have good amounts in our retirement plans, people with kids have to spend money all the time on their kids so it's ok if we spend it on travel, some health catastrophe could befall us and it's better to have fun now..." I'm 50 now and he's 57, and every so often we say we do not regret living this way at all - if anything I'm very happy we took the trips we have taken, especially since we're still spry and adventurous travelers, and I don't really regret my tons of "frivolous" purchases, gourmet food, restaurants, etc. We are both the kids of depression-era parents and while they did die with some money in the bank I do NOT want to live in that very frugal way, especially since we don't have kids to leave our money to. I SORTA wish that I had not stayed with my dull career, which I can tolerate but do not like much, and had taken the risk of pursuing my minimum wage dream jobs - Trader Joes employee, book store clerk, etc. BUT if one or the other of us did that, we would not have our trips and nice cars and little splurges and retirement plans, so on balance I do like the life we have.

Also, we just had a slab leak in our foundation (West Coast people will know what this is, and be cringing), which is going to cost us, all told, about $10,000 AFTER insurance. SO, now I'm thinking, HEY, the fancy refrigerator we have been wanting and denying ourselves is REALLY not that much compared to this huge amount of money that we are about to pay just to fix a plumbing disaster. So it just confirms my instinct to enjoy life and not be too tight with the purse strings...
 
While I think it's important to be sure to have enough to last throughout retirement, I must admit I did not understand when my DH told me last week about his wish to leave an inheritance to his son. Sure, I would expect there will be something left, and of course it should go to his son, but it's not a major GOAL of mine. My DH took out a life insurance policy and named his son as beneficiary, and that's fine. Anything else he gets to my mind is just icing. I'm not going to work extra years or skip a trip to Europe just to leave an inheritance to a guy (sweet as he may be) who makes a good living and is doing just fine in life.

Okay, I guess you can tell you hit a nerve here. I'll save the rest of this rant for my DH.

I also must admit that I understand how you feel, Ajock. My DH and I often remark to each other that we will probably wind up supporting our fellow baby boomers who didn't save as diligently as we did. I sure hope we're wrong!

Am I a selfish b*tch? Maybe, but that's the way I feel.
 
A-jock and Nancy...definitely food for thought there...the last thing DW and I would ever want is for someone other than ourselves to be responsible for ourselves.

DW recently increased the amount that she has taken out from her work checks for her 401K, so it isn't like we're totally negligent with regard for our latter years, and it certainly isn't like we spend like sailors on leave, either...You won't find plasma TV's, fancy cars, or fine china in our home.

Could we use a new bathroom?? You bet we could..however, the one we have now works just fine for the two of us, we'd much rather spend the cost of a new bathroom having the time of our lives doing what we love!!
 
My dh's grandma just died a few months ago. It was so important to her that she leave something to her 6 grandchildren. she was like your typical senior citizen these days, very fixed income no money at all to bargain with. She died and left her inheritance to them. They each got a check(after lawyer fees, whatever that is) of $1,034. That money could have made her life so much easier, not one of the grandchildren needed it, and felt so guilty about it. I am just mentioning this to anyone out there considering leaving money behind. I know we would have been so much happier watching her spend it to make her life easier.
 
Well said, Mikkia!

ETA: Everyone here is so nice, I always think that when there is silence it's because people are thinking "yup, she sure is a selfish b*tch". ;)

I need to clarify anyway. Our financial adviser wants us to have enough to live reasonably comfortably until we are 100 years old, because you never know how long you will live. Given that, if we die before the age of 100, my stepson is essentially guaranteed an inheritance. I just don't think we need to go out of our way to put away extra just to ensure that he gets a certain amount. Considering that no one in my family or DH's family has ever lived to 100, I think that bodes well for DSS. ;)
 
Nancy - I have seen so many people, Mom & Dad, very good friend and others who have saved and worked hard to wait to have fun at retirement. None of them ever lived long enough.

For those that are happy not doing anything for themselves, as some are home bodies we all know, then fine, leave some inheritance.

For those that have wishes and dreams and things they want to do in their life for self fulfillment and enjoyment - go forth and spend what you earned.

Nobody should have to sacrifice their own lives in order to provide for their children or other relatives. If you really want to help them out then do it while you are alive and take the tax deduction !

Let's put a little onto our children to learn how to live their lives within their means and not expect a handout after we have raised them.

Now this is not to say that I am a selfish B, because I do things for my grown children as I can afford and as I wish. Am I setting up retirement funds in order to leave them an inheritance? No, but they will most likely receive something from the home that we should own by the time we retire. I don't live with debt other than the mortgage and one car payment at a time. The house will be paid for and will be benefitting me in my retirement (God willing I am around that long) and then go on to give them an inheritance when I am gone.

So my vote is really a little of both. Save for a rainy day, which to me is retirement, and live like there's no tomorrow because I just heard of a 23 yr old child who lost her life to cancer last week. One of my DS classmates, sister of my other DS's ex GF, good friend to my DD and daughter of my friend and my husband's classmate.

This comes 25 years after I watched my mother pass away a month before she turned 60, just when she was about to retire and she and Dad were ready to start travelling after a very tough life of caring for and then losing their first born at the age of 13. Watched a co-worker 3 years ago pass away at the age of 60, BUT, he lived his life like there was no tomorrow. He laughed, loved, travelled, golfed, and brought loads of fun and joy to our lives. That opened my eyes as I am now working with his wife who is doing the same.

Sorry for the long post, but this one touched a continuous raw nerve for me.

As I watched another 65 yr old coworker with two teenagers and 3 other adult children lose his life to cancer - the song came out that brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it:

Live like you are dying. It says it all . . .
 
So true, Jacque. My father was just about to retire at the age of 71, and my mother was looking forward to their golden years of travel and fun, when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. 6 months later he was gone. You just never know.
 
Jacque and Nancy - I've been the recipient of two inheritances - one from my mother and one from my father (passed away a month before his 65th birthday). Trust when I say that I would much prefer to have both of them back spending their own money on their retirements. Someone once said to me "you're so lucky to have so much money to put down on a house" to which I replied "you're so lucky to have your parents". 'nuff said.

I save some of my paycheque every month, and another chunk goes towards DD's college education fund. I have to fight with myself, but I've finally got to a place where I will spend money but I first have to tally up all the savings I have in my head and reassure myself that I'm not gonna go broke if I buy whatever it is I'm looking at:p
 
I'm with you Shelley - no inheritance for me since Dad remarried, but I really wish they were still here. My life is so fun now and my kids never knew my Mom - she was the bestest ! And they only knew Grandpa when he was getting sick and grumpier.

I get so upset when people don't take advantage of having their parents around, even if they aren't perfect !

Mother's Day and Father's Day are still hard for me 'cuz I had great relationship's with both of mine. I really miss the fact that Mom died when I was 25 - never got to really have fun with her as a friend ! These could be some of the best years for them.

UGH - I'll stop again !
 
Jerry,

My family consists of my wife (28 yrs July 12!) and two 20 year olds, one of whom I'll have to provide for after I'm "in the box" (he's autistic).

We save, we both work and we are comfortable. There haven't been many elaborate vacations but we'll order out dinner in a pinch.

Enjoy the now but prepare for the future. The quest for material items will make people unhappy. So enjoy that road trip, that dinner (with dessert!).

Who knows with the price of gas it might be cheaper to stay at the hotel instead of commuting.
 
I watched a couple who worked all their lives to save for retirement. Unfortunately, they retired and passed away soon after. I believe that I need to save for the future but at the same time enjoy the hear and now. It's what gets you through those tough days, weeks, and months.

Colleen
 
RE: Save for a rainy day, or live like there's no tomor...

Cool thread.

We have two girls (ages 13 and 9), and we invest in both college and retirement funds. We record our monthly expenses and try to keep it under a specific number. However, if we really want something (like my Cathe DVDs :7 ), we don't deny ourselves. We DO give each and every purchase some hard thought.

I had a teeny breast cancer scare a few months ago, which sent my brain running in different directions. It reminded me that no matter how much I plan, the future I like to visualize is not promised to me. I enjoy little things now: A day spent gardening, 2 days at the Dells with the kids, a new exercise purchase (Cardio Coach!), a birthday party. A trip to Hawaii would be cool too, but it's not necessary. If it happens, awesome. If it doesn't, I won't feel cheated in the least.

Spend here, save there. I think the trick is to not miss the cool moments that come our way each and every day. :)
 
I think it's entirely necessary to save for the future. The cost of everything is going up too fast to think otherwise. I can't depend on Medicare or Social Security - the odds are, those programs simply won't be around.

But I also seriously doubt that the amount of money I'm saving now will end up being enough to support me after "retirement age," whatever age that might be. Honestly, I expect that I'll be working until I drop. But hopefully, my small retirement fund will at least allow me to work part-time instead of full-time.

I'm afraid to live big. I've taken a few neat vacations that actually mean I leave home. But for the most part, I'm too nervous about spending that extra money. I do enjoy my life though, and I'm very comfortable.

I'm single with no kids. I could probably live it up a bit more, but I just don't feel comfortable doing that.
 
RE: Save for a rainy day, or live like there's no tomor...

I loved your post!
As a critical care nurse I have talked with many a patient or family who said they worked their assess off for years to have money to retire, travel, etc. and then come down with an illness/health problem which prohibits them from doing so. Their message to me has been to live and enjoy your life daily. I don't think that means being foolish, but not to work every moment for something we aren't promised. I am a saver, worrier, my DH is a spender, happy-go-lucky. Hopefully my planning balances out his non-planning. I think what you said about enjoying the seemingly insignificant things (gardening, a walk at sunset, waves on the beach, laughing at a funny movie, doing dishes with someone you love, etc.) is key.
Lynn
 
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