andtckrtoo
Cathlete
I just love his irreverent humor. He will be missed.
RIP George Carlin
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andtckrtoo
Cathlete
I heard it on the news. He was only 71.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/06/23/carlin.obit/index.html
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/06/23/carlin.obit/index.html
I wake up to NPR every morning, and this was the first thing I heard. I am so sad! I absolutely loved him, and he was one of my favorite comedians. He was so funny and provocative. I love that he never lost his edge.
Some quotes:
Always do whatever's next.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
Religion is just mind control.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
The status quo sucks.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Think off-center.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
Some quotes:
Always do whatever's next.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
Religion is just mind control.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
The status quo sucks.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Think off-center.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
I remember his 7 dirty words skit! He was such a gifted comic--loved the quotes above. That he was also the narrator for all the Thomas the Tank Engine videos really show his versatility as a performer. For those w/o kids, Thomas the Tank engine was this British TV series about a bunch of steam trains. Clever filmmaking, corny dialogue and zero special effects, and most 3 - 5 year olds love it. My DD and DS loved to watch it and collected the train sets too.
Jonahnah
Chocolate IS the answer, regardless of the question.
Jonahnah
Chocolate IS the answer, regardless of the question.
pepnchar
Cathlete
I saw Jammin in New York on HBO when I was in middle school. It was about the first Gulf War in 1990 -- you can watch that today and it's still relevant. George was the best. There will never be another like him.
Here's my favorite -- about the airlines... "They tell you to get on the plane 'Get on the plane, get on the plane' and I say f*ck you, I'm getting IN the plane! Let Evil Kenivel get ON the plane. I'll stay in here with you folks -- there seems to be less wind in here!
Charlene
Here's my favorite -- about the airlines... "They tell you to get on the plane 'Get on the plane, get on the plane' and I say f*ck you, I'm getting IN the plane! Let Evil Kenivel get ON the plane. I'll stay in here with you folks -- there seems to be less wind in here!
Charlene
ldy_solana
Cathlete
just a classic in the comedy world. my mother's a big fan so of course i was listening to him at an age when i shouldn't LOL. although if you can get passed the language he brought up a lot of points that made you think while having a good laugh. i know he is not everybody's cup of tea but many of us always tuned in to what he had to say b/c you know it was not going to be pretty or boring.
also a kevin smith fan in which george carlin did a few of his movies. some of his better fitting roles IMO.
kassia
http://www.picturetrail.com/ldy_solana
http://jtjulian2003.tripod.com
YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING,WHERE WOULD YOU PUT IT??
http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1307/4842454/16585805/255246443.jpg
also a kevin smith fan in which george carlin did a few of his movies. some of his better fitting roles IMO.
kassia
http://www.picturetrail.com/ldy_solana
http://jtjulian2003.tripod.com
YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING,WHERE WOULD YOU PUT IT??
http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1307/4842454/16585805/255246443.jpg
What a genius - a real "Wordsmith." I was amazed, when I was doing some Carlin research, to find that he was a high school drop-out at age 14! I've been a fan of his for a LOOOOOOOOONG time. I can even remember when he would dress in a suit when he appeared on tv! And he had short hair! Am I showing my age, or what?!
endorphin_junkie
Cathlete
Or Mr. Conductor from "Thomas the Tank Engine".
What a prolific career and dang it I just can't seem to get those 7 words out of my head...
There having a good time in Heaven today I'm sure!!! RIP indeed!
Take Care
Laurie
What a prolific career and dang it I just can't seem to get those 7 words out of my head...There having a good time in Heaven today I'm sure!!! RIP indeed!
Take Care
Laurie