Questions to ask before entering into a serious relationship

[mrsmel]

If I'm on the market again, which I may very well be soon, I'm going to ask:

"Are you an emotionally stunted d**kwad?"

That's what I'm dealing with now.

anne

 

[Carmen829]

I think its important to ask if they have a current girlfriend or a wife. Some guys forget to mention that.

Carmen

 

[Liann]

These questions are great! Especially A-Jocks list! This may have been mentioned, but I would add - "Describe your upbringing and your family's religious and political views?" Not that is would have stopped me from marrying my DH, but man was I blindsided by his family! It's taken years to deprogram him!

 

[aproudfit]

I think its important to ask if they have a current girlfriend or a wife. Some guys forget to mention that.

Carmen

LOL - funny stuff.... I end up with issues about guys saying they are 'divorced' when really they are just separated. I have a strict 2 years divocred rule - and it has never failed me... it amazes me how fast people jump into serious relationships after getting single - it takes time - you HAVE to learn how to be alone and be yourself again....

ETA - this last guy I met on match.com was telling me they had been separated for a year - come to find out he was still sleeping in the same house until 3 months ago - ummmmm SORRY dude - sleeping in the house is NOT technically separated.... whatever... NEXT.....

 

[nancy324]

On our first date, I asked my DH what he thought of Howard Stern on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the best. He said zero. It was all I needed to know. Thirteen years later, we're happy as clams.

 

[TeTe]

I didn't ask any of those questions; but, then again, I wasn't looking for a serious relationship when we met. I found out everything I needed to know from dating him for a while. And goals? Heck, I didn't have any goals, so I sure didn't know how to judge his or care whether he had any or not. We've been married almost 20 years, so I guess we did something right!

 

[toughYrun]

Just a little off topic, but this thread reminded me of something I had not thought of for years. A guy asked me out on a date and I accepted. I didn't know much about him other than he was divorced, had a couple of kids and that he seemed nice enough. We were planning on meeting somewhere neutral, but as it turned out, something came up and I was not going to be able to make it. I found his phone number in the book and called his house to let him know. Well, his wife answered! I asked to whom I was speaking and whether or not "Joe" was at home. She asked who I was. I told her my name and asked that she have her husband call me. When she asked what it was about I told her to ask "Joe". (I don't remember his exact name but do know it was one of those three letter ones.)

He returned my call and when I confronted him about being married he said that he was technically divorced because his wife was a lesbian!

I just told him that in the future he should really take care of his personal problems rather than making attempts to drag innocent bystanders into them.

 

[Aquajock]

Actually, a good way to learn a great deal of valuable information about a prospective partner whose background is unknown to you is to hire a service to perform a background check. Again, I know that sounds cold and clinical, but safety first should be the cardinal rule in this day and age. I worked as a paralegal for almost eight years for a team of prosecutors on domestic violence crimes (ranging from simple assaults and protective order violations to stalking and near-homicides, from simple property damage to outright burglaries, etc.); that experience forever changed my viewpoint about social relations. (It should be noted that I did nothing from my list when I started dating the man who became my DH over 14 years ago.)

At the minimum, take a trip to your local courthouse and learn how to do a simple civil and criminal history check in your jurisdiction. And if there are any - and I mean ANY - criminal charges involving domestic violence, or civil domestic restraining or protective orders, run like hell.

A-Jock