Question for SAHMs

Thank you everyone for answering my question. Your comments have really made me think about what I believe. I guess my mom's situation made me think negatively about being a SAHM. However, now I realize that it could be a very positive thing. I'm actually hoping DH gets the job so I can be at home with my kids. I've been wanting DS to take swimming lessons, but nothing is offered at night or on the weekend around here. I would have to pay $40 per 1/2 hour for private lessons. There are so many things available only during the day. This would open up a whole new world of possibilities and when the kids both are in school maybe I could work at their school so I can be off with them. None of this has ever been a possibility before, but if this job comes through then it can be a reality. I guess we shall wait and see what happens.

BTW, both DH and I have life insurance policies. I pray I never need to use this until we are both very very old.
 
Wow...I've spent the past half hour reading everyone's responses and am struck both by the emotion of all who replied!

I have a slightly different situation...my husband is the one who stays home with our girls, ages 6 and 4. I'm a teacher, so my actual hours are not quite as long as some other professions, and of course there is the summer and vacations off with the kids. My husband does work part-time a few evenings a week. I make enough to live a "modest" lifestyle, although the way alot of our friends and family live, it appears to be even more modest! We've always thought that once both girls are in school all day, that my husband would start looking to work full-time again. But now as that day is approaching, we really are starting to change our minds about that. Having one of us home and avoiding day-care has been invaluable. And as I said I do make enough money for now, and my husband had also gotten very serious about being creative with how we spend and save our money. We have decided where our priorities lie with regards to discretionary income (I like my Cathe DVDs, a trip to the salon every couple of months and clothes up to the Banana Republic price limit...and we both like our wine and dinner out once in a while!!) We've learned to live with the fact that we have MAJOR house and property issues to deal with, and we take them one at a time and try not to feel too overwhelmed. Looking at how happy and well-adjusted the girls appear to be helps alot. Sure, I wish I could be the one to stay home. My husband does complain that there really aren't alot of SAHDs like himself in our area and he often gets left out of the Mom Get-Togethers that he overhears them talking about. But I work with middle school kids, and I am grateful that my girls are going to have a strong and positive male influence in their lives.

So anyway, that's my story!
 
Since a lot of my closest friends are male, I was always glad to meet the occasional SAHD. They bring a different flavor to get togethers.

Even thought lots of people go back to work when their children get in school, I found myself busier and busier with school. Maybe it was because I was always volunteering to help with school and the amount of help the schhols need is great, so there was always something.

With my daughter, the worse thing has been leaving her home alone during her pre-teen and early teen right now. Girls this age are starting to make some decisions about sexuality, and there are many boys that are just waiting to take advantage. I have very strict rules when I am not home, and I follow up to make sure they are adhered to, but my daughter is telling me things about what some of her unsupervised friends are now doing.....and EEK.

Stay home as long as you can! For us, college expenses with the older one forced me back to full time, but I still have some work at home flexibility.
 
I've been a SAHM for 7 years and have no regrets. Yep, it's monotonous and lonely at times, but that's true at work as well as at home. Staying at home is pretty much what you make it.

I volunteer for my DD's marching band quite a bit, and my younger two kids have friends in the neighborhood.

DH has a decent life insurance policy in case something happens. More than likely I would have to return to work anyway, but we won't wonder where our next buck will come from.
 
I've been a SAHM for 16 1/2 years and have four children. I don't love it all the time, but am very grateful that I have the opportunity to stay home and wouldn't trade the time I've had with my kids for anything. Even though I do get bored and frustrated at times, I have never regretted my decision to stay home. I do love having extra time for my kids, time to volunteer for their schools and also time to get household things done so that when DH is home we have more family time. It's nice not worrying about childcare if my kids get sick or if we have a snow day. I love being home after school when the kids first get home and also spending the summers with them (most of the time!).

My main financial concern is if my DH loses his job. We have plenty of life insurance, but losing his income from being laid off would be financially devastating for us if he didn't find another job for a long time.

Erica
 
Hi Kristi!

I always wanted to be able to stay home with my children when they were young if it was possible. I am very grateful that my DH and I were in a situation when I got pregnant that afforded me that chance.

In the beginning it was *TOUGH* financially as we basically cut our household income in half when I left my job but since then he has gotten a few nice bumps in pay so it has worked out financially just fine. Now we are not living in the lap of luxury by any means, LOL, but we can pay our bills and basically can afford to live comfortably and happily.

For the first 1.5 years I stayed home with DS exclusively and it was hard on me. I had little to no adult interaction and with DS being so young there wasn't much I could do with him. This was when money was still a struggle so it's not like I could spend my time shopping so I ended up taking lots of walks with him...what else was there to do? I tried to find a mom's group in my area but the search was in vain. :-( My house is tiny so there is only so much cleaning that needs to be done so THAT couldn't even eat up enough of my time! LOL

DS was born in May of 2005 and in Septmber of 2006 I got a part time job in my gym as a babysitting attendant. I was able to bring him with me so it was PERFECT! I continue to work there today. I only work 6-12 hours per week depending on that week's schedule and the pay is minimal but it helps to keep me busy, gives me more adult interaction which I love and puts a little spending $ in my pocket which I also LOVE!!!}( Now that DS is 2 we also can have more fun together. We go to the park alot now that the weather is nice and he also plays in our yard with our dog.

I LOVE being a SAHM now! I feel like I have a great balance in my life at this point.

I am certifying to become a personal trainer so before the end of the year I will be looking for a part time job as such. My goal is to be able to bring him to work with me and leave him in the babysitting room while I work but again...only a few hours a week right now. Down the line once he starts school I will start to put in more hours but would still like to be there for him after school instead of having to send him to an after-care program.

As far as your point about working in order to avert "disaster" should something happen to your spouse...I understand where you are coming from but refuse to let that thought stop me! Terrible things COULD happen but do you really want to live your life in fear of the what if's?? That's no way to live girl! If you want to stay home with your kids and can afford to do so then I say go for it. If you don't like it you can always go back to work.

Anyway...that's my 2 cents on the deal...good luck with your decision!:+
 
I have not read any of the responses...sorry!

But to answer your question...NO, I have never once, not even for a brief moment, regretted my decision to stay home with the kids.

Either way, it is hard. It's hard (in some ways) to stay home and it is hard (in other ways) to stay at work.

The only right answer is figuring out what makes your family dymanic work better and happier...that is what is best for the kids and the family. Takes some experiementing. We can't tell you what will make your family flow better. You need to play with it and find out for yourself.

Best wishes!
 
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