Pregnant again

S

StaceyDeLapp

Cathlete
Well...yesterday I was running up the stairs to my room, and felt my breats jiggling. I'm really thin, and after having 2 kids, I have no breasts left. I go into my bedroom and raise my shirt and say oh my God, I have boobs! I ran into the bathroom to show my husband, who agreed that they definitely had grown. I said what if I'm pregnant? We both thought there was no way because he had a vas in June of last year, but after I had a positive blood test at the doctor's office yesterday, and his sample came back live today...the FIRST one that his doctor has ever seen because he cuts, crimps, ties, and burns...we are now facing the reality of having a 3rd child. My youngest is 3, my oldest is 6. I was so looking forward to next year with my son being in school full-time, and my daughter being in preschool 2 days per week--just feeling like I was getting my life back. Now I am so confused. I just wish this wasn't happening to me. And I feel so selfish feeling this way because children are such a blessing. It's just hard because I have a home-business and my life is so full that sometimes, I don't feel I give enough to the 2 I have, not to mention having to find more for a 3rd.
 
Oh Stacey! What a predictament you're in. First of all congrats! I know it's probably hard to hear this, but you truely are blessed. I'm having my 2nd child soon & our only other child is 9 years old, so I know all about having the 'freedom' of having a child at school. It's nice, but those first few yearrs fly by so quickly. Before you know it your little embryo will be starting school.
Hang in there & your friends at this forum will be here for you, K? Good luck & hope to hear from you very soon.

Melanie
Baby boy due 1/25/04

" Take care of your body like it will last a lifetime. Take care of your soul like it will last for eternity"
 
Thank you. The reality of the situation is starting to sink in now, and I am starting to get excited. I know once the baby is born that it will be unthinkable to imagine our lives without him/her.

Stacey
 
Stacey--here is some food for thought and I hope you don't take it the wrong way--I'm not trying to be preachy.

My in-laws had a daughter and then a son and they were officially finished. Then along came baby # 3 (now my wonderful husband), totally unplanned for and unexpected. Fast-forward 33 years--the oldest son and daughter have no kids and probably won't. The only grandkids my in-laws have are through the child that wasn't a part of their plan. I am not saying that this would happen to you or anything, but sometimes God works in mysterious ways and He always sees the bigger picture.

Congratulations on your little one and keep us posted through your pregnancy:).

take care
Maggie
 
Congratulations, I'm glad your excited. Everything will work out! Hope you are feeling well. Take care of yourself and remember that keeping fit is the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby.
 
Thank you guys for your support. We are starting to accept it more and more as time goes on. It's actually exciting at times. Then my two older ones will fight and I'll think oh Lord, what am I in for? I know it will all work out in the end though, and that the big payoff will come when my kids are older, out of the house, and hopefully, still very close to us.

Thanks.
Stacey
 
God is bigger than life. He will not give you more than you can handle. This is His promise, not mine. Have faith & enjoy your pregnancy!

Melanie
Baby boy due 1/25/04

" Take care of your body like it will last a lifetime. Take care of your soul like it will last for eternity"
 
Hi Stacy,

We had an unexpected pregnancy a couple of years ago also. My youngest (twins) were in first grade and my oldest was in fifth. It was the first year for me where they were all in school full-time and all three kids were more independent and DH and I were just getting more quality time together as the kids could do so much more on their own.

When I found out I was pregnant, it was such a shock and I went through many of the same emotions as you - feeling so selfish and ungrateful for not being happy about the pregnancy. Knowing that so many people would love to be in my shoes made me feel terrible - like something was wrong with me for not wanting another child. My dd is 17 months now and it has been a huge adjustment.

Anyway, I'm glad that you and your husband are feeling excited about the new baby now!

Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy!

Erica
 
Stacey,

I can relate to your story as I was "done" having children after the birth of my second son. Five years later - I discovered that I was pregnant. At first neither one of us were as excited as we felt we should be. But as we got used to the idea of a new baby all that changed. I have to say, I cannot imagine my life without him. He makes me laugh, he drives my crazy and he is my pride and joy! My older boys are now 18 and 20 and are not home very much. Tomorrow is my baby's 13th birthday and I can't believe how fast the time has gone. I will treasure the next few years that I have with him at home. I think back as I read your post and remember when I was thinking about loosing my "freedom" and worry about the years to come when I'll have too much of it.

Enjoy your new "blessing". He/she was meant to be.

Debbie
 
Thank you all so much for your support. I have really begun accepting everything and know that each and everyone of you are 100% right. It's so good to hear from those of you who had a "surprise" and that you felt the same way I did. Babies are hard. If it wasn't for my business, I'm sure I'd be overjoyed...but I've been working at home now with little ones for over 5 years. It just gets so easy when they can start doing stuff for themselves, be patient for food, and it's so nice when you can leave the room for a couple of minutes, take a shower or whatever and know that they'll still be okay when you get back.

One of the hardest things is going to be my changing body again. I stay really disciplined with my weight gain and with working out when I'm pg, but I've been so on track since fall (after a year of 1-3 workouts per week), and I was so enjoying the results. Right where I want to be. I know I'll get it back, but it's hard having to get back there instead of just keeping it there. And all my clothes I won't be able to wear. At leat it will give me the discipline to lose the shopping bug for awhile. My Bon charge card can sure use a breather! But listen to me with all my selfish talk when something as wonderful as a baby is growing inside of me. I know I will never be able to imagine my life without him or her once their born. It's already getting hard to think of how I would handle it if something happened to the pregnancy.

I didn't fully explain the situation of my pregnancy up above either. My husband and I got pregnant by accident when my daughter was 10 mos old. This was very hard as I knew we weren't ready. I felt it wasn't fair to her to have one so soon, etc. Well...I ended up losing the baby a few weeks later (probably because my uterus just wasn't ready after recent pg and nursing for 10 mos.) It was hard, but I thought for a long time about having a third, and the older she got, the more convinced we were that 2 was enough. Well, after my husband had his vas, we thought we were set. Then, this baby was conceived on Christmas Day and just before I found out I was pregnant (like 2 nights before) I had the most realistic dream that I was pg...about 6 mos. I don't usually remember my dreams, and I didn't remember it right away, but it came back to me later in the afternoon. It was so real to me that I remembered to tell my husband about it Wed night. (the night before I found out I was pg.) We both thought "like that'd ever happen, but if it ever did, we'd be shocked and disappointed at first, but then we'd learn to accept, love, and couldn't imagine our lives without the little one." So many people, especially our family, just feel like it's that little soul we lost coming back to us and that he/she just really picked us. I know it's a blessing.

Thanks for the support guys. Looking forward to checking in with you, and hearing about everybody's birth stories.

Stacey DeLapp
EDD 9-16-04
 
Hi Stacey,

I know exactly what you're going through. I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant with my third. It came as quite a shock. I'm trying to imangine my life with a third child and I just can't picture it right now. I guess it'll take a little while for reality to settle in. Like you, I was starting to enjoy some freedom again, my oldest boy is eleven and my youngest boy is 4. My 4 year old is a real handful, he's very headstrong and stubborn and doesn't listen to anything you tell him. I wonder if I'll have the patience for another child.

I was kind of up in the air and not able to decide if I wanted another baby or not but running out of time if I did(I'm 34 and my husband is 37) so maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

Like you I worry about the pregnancy going okay. And I just found out that our insurance doesn't cover pregnancy so this is going to be all out of pocket costs so I worry about the financial side of it too. I'm also afraid that I'll never fit back into my closet full of clothes (like you I'm a shopaholic) I just discovered Ann Taylor Loft and I love her clothes! I gained over fifty pounds with both of my other pregnancies but was able to lose it all (with the help of Cathe of course, I've been doing her workouts for around 8 years now).

Sorry this is so long. Just writing about it helps it seem a little more real. It looks like I'll be a regular on this board now. I visit Cathe's forums everyday but mostly just lurk. I never paid much attention to the pregnancy forum because I had no reason to but now I'll be a regular. I look forward to meeting all of you.

Jacque
EDD 10-5-04 (seems like forever)
 
Oh, Jacque--CONGRATULATIONS! I am really excited now that I've known for two weeks. And you know what? You're due on my birthday! I know what you mean about your due date feeling as if it's forever away. It will be here in a blink of an eye though, and before you know it, we'll both be amazed that we were ever worried, shocked, scared, dismayed, whatever, about having a third. It will just seem as if it was meant to be. Are your kids excited? My daughter is so sweet, she makes it all worth it.

You will do great with your pregnancy. I just try to say no to treats more often. I am really good rewarding myself when I stay within my appropriate weight gain, I'll allow myself my favorite treat of the moment. I wish I could be so disciplined when I'm not pregnant! But I worked out with Cathe the entire time with my second (I hadn't found her yet with my first) and I only gained 28 lbs. It comes off fast too. If you're already set with working out, and especially with somebody as challenging as Cathe, you're going to be just fine.

Have you even looked at the maternity clothes online yet? At least they've gotten cute, but they are so expensive! I love to bargain shop at Bon Macy's. They have the best sales with 50% off and then an additional 30% off. Ann Taylor is good about doing the additional 40% off redlines. I just picked up a great pair of shoes and this great black belt with silver links (before I found out I was pg). The belt was $8.00! Maternity clothes just don't go on sale! I dress so cute when I'm not pg that I can't stand the thought of not dressing cute when I am pg. I'm really going to improvise and see what I can do. It's just such a waste to spend the money on a $100 shirt that I'll wear for 3-4 months.

Take care, glad to have you on board!

Stacey
EDD 09-16-04
 
Stacey -

I just had to write in and say "Congratulations!" I'm sure your initial shock reaction will fade into "what did we ever do without you!" My husband and I are currently debating about having a third, and though we're not NOT trying, I'd love to have the decision just taken out of my hands and find out that I am pg.

Just consider this baby as a true GIFT from God (like they all are!), but in your case, this one was meant to be!!!

Good luck!
Michele
 
Hi Stacey,

I just reread my post and it must of sounded awful! I really am excited about this baby even if it didn't sound like it. That's so neat that my due date is your birthday. It's actually a few days before my birthday too. My oldest son is excited but I don't think my 4 year old quite understands yet.

I'm determined not to gain so much weight this time, 25 to 35 pounds would be perfect. I just preordered Cathe's new DVDs. I figured by the time they come out I'll be needing something a little easier.

Yes, I've already been online not just looking but ORDERING maternity clothes! I can't believe I already bought some and I'm only a few weeks pregnant! I bought some clothes from gap online and just won an auction on ebay for some gap maternity clothes. I saved all my clothes from my last pregnacy but still couldn't resist. I remember hating those clothes by the time my pregnancy was over. I know what you mean about spending so much on something you'll only wear a few months. Especially since I don't plan on having any more kids after this. Have you checked on ebay? There are alot of clothes on there, many are brand new for a lot cheaper than retail.

Jacque
EDD 10-5-04
 
Jacque:

I didn't think your post sounded awful at all. You should have read the post that I left at first. I went back and modified mine the next day. And I still think it sounds awful. I am excited about the baby, I'm just not excited about what he/she is going to do to our lives (the no sleep part and the all that stuff). I'll take the great stuff everyday of the week. They are so sweet and cute and you love them and want to protect them type of feelings. Just the exhaustion and worrying about choking hazards, and the stairs, and on and on and on. But I know, as you do, that it will all be worth it in the end.

That's so funny that you're already ordering maternity clothes. I am really hoping to look pregnant chic this time around and see how creative I can get with regular shirts that have a lot of give and really show off the belly (while still covering it of course). Those low-rise maternity jeans look pretty cute. I have NOTHING left from my prior two pregnancies. Not maternity clothes, not many baby clothes (just my favorites), not a swing, or an infant car seat, not even a high chair. Oh well...

I'm just tired of being tired right now. I have a bulk mail business that I run from my home and it keeps me really busy. I'm so tired of working today and even though I took a 1 hour nap, I'm already tired tonight and can't wait to crawl into bed. I'm leaving work undone which means tomorrow will be hectic, and so the cycle goes. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping...can I just eat out?

Take care.
Stacey
EDD 09-16-04
 
Michele:

Thanks for your congratulations. Everyone here has been so thoughtful. It has really helped me feel better.

Good luck with whatever you decide with regards to having a third, and thanks again for your words of encouragement.

Stacey
 
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