Pet Lovers - Anyone experienced this?

R

RhiannonW

Cathlete
I just lost my dog of 12 years VERY suddenly on Friday. Just found out 9pm Thursday the night before and we had to have him put to rest the next morning. I haven't been able to workout since. Everytime I try I get this pit in my stomach and I begin to cry, thus I don't have the energy to continue. Plus, I've been eating tons - for comfort I guess. I've been letting myself do this, cutting myself a break, but I fear it will get out of control. Has anyone experienced this sort of thing? How long until the hurt starts to lessen? I didn't realize how much I did around this house related to him(filling his water dish, closing the basement door, keeping the kid's food out his reach, taking him on a walk everyday, ect.). I don't have to do that any more so there's this void and I don't know what to do with myself. We gave him a wonderful life and he's out of pain now, why do I hurt?

Thanks everyone, for reading - just letting me share.
 
I don't know what to say- I'm dreading this experience myself. I'm so sorry! I'm glad you know you gave him a wonderful life, and it sounds like you were very involved on a daily basis with him as a part of your family.

You hurt now because you miss him, and you got something out of your walks together, too. It's just Sunday now, so the pain is still really fresh.

I wish you well with your grieving process, and again, I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye so quickly.

Take care,
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, you gave him the best life and a painfree ending, and this is a wonderful gift! He also gave YOU a gift in companionship, love & devotion. He was a part of your life and a member of your family and you should grieve and miss him! All of my life I've had animals, and each and every one has given me far more than I've done for them, and I still cry years later when I remember having to put several down to relieve their suffering.

Time will pass and you'll remember the good years you had with him, and the pain will be less but won't completely go away. You'll realize that you've done the right thing above all in putting aside your desire to keep him alive at any cost so he wouldn't suffer. Don't beat yourself up for feeling the loss, it's okay!

Leslie
 
I am so sorry...:(..I also have experienced this pain. It'll be painful for a few days but it'll get better. Our pets are so wonderful and give us the most unconditional love. Just do what you want right now. It can be awful remembering all the things you did that revovle around him, but remember you gave him an awesome life and he loved you for that. I know they can't tell us when they are in pain but it has always comforted me to know that when there has been pain that is finally gone for them. All my animals have always held a very special place in my heart...sending hugs and thoughts your way...http://cybergifs.com/hearts/hbare-hug.gif[/img] ...Carole
 
So sorry to hear about your loss. Give yourself some time to heal and you will be back into the swing of things. If you don't bounce back just call on us and will give you a kick to get you started -LOL J/K!!

Catherine
 
Hi, Rhiannon!
What you're going through is a very normal mourning process. You lost someone you loved, someone who was with you almost EVERY DAY for a very long time, in fact, most of his life. It's going to be hard for a while, but it will get better.

I've had to go through losing 4 cats over the years, and it's hard every time. Those first few days, weeks are difficult. There's always that toy that your beloved pet used to like to play with. Feeding time with a now-empty spot. With dogs, the walks you used to take. All these reminders of an absence to deal with. (Having lost a father as well, I can tell you that the grieving process is similar, even though the object of that grief is different. In some ways, grieving a pet can be more difficult, because of the constant, daily reminders of their absence, and the number of people who don't understand or have empathy about it.)

Give yourself time to go through the grieving process. And don't feel strange about it, because some people think it's "just an animal." Just think of how some people don't ever feel this kind of love about anyone (human or animal).

It helps to talk about your dog and the fun you had together. Maybe you and your family can have some kind of memorial service, where you talk about the silly things he used to do, and the good times you had together. Maybe put some kind of memorial in the backyard (carve his name into his favorite peein' tree. Put a marker down.) There will be tears, but try to focus on the good. I'm sure your dog (what was his name?) had a wonderful life with you, and was much loved, and gave love in return.

And once the pain has lessened, think of the homeless dogs in your local shelter who could benefit from some love and a good home. I'm sure your dog would appreciate the love you had for him being passed on.
 
Rhiannon~

I lost my lab (we had him 13 years) two days after we moved into our new house in the country. He was doing just fine in the AM but at lunch time I walked down to his kennel and he looked like he was asleep (peacefully) but he was gone. My husband, daughter and I were all in shock.

Just yesterday, I was walking our other two dogs and thought about Cody and how much he would have enjoyed the walk. I got choked up and misty eyed. He's been gone 2 1/2 months.

So even with the passing of time and the distraction of the two other dogs, I still get emotional. Our pets hold such a dear place in our hearts. Time does ease the sorrow and life has a way of filling the void with other activities. Give yourself all the time you need and do your best to get back to doing the things that gave you pleasure while your beloved dog was alive. Even a little exercise will be therapeutic. (((HUGS)))

I'll pray that you'll be comforted...I'm so sorry for your loss.

~ Kim

"Welcome the challenge...Embrace it...Don't fear it." -Cathe Friedrich
 
Rhiannon -
I've lost a lot of pets over the years- our family has had them ever since I was a baby. I thought the hardest was when I had to put down my 30-year old pony and my dog on the same day. The pony was very old and also had cancer, and I dreaded coming home to find him dead in the pasture. So it was my decision to end his suffering. My dog had been misdiagnosed and so was not treated in time for ehrlikiosis, a tick-borne disease similar to Lyme. There was nothing more we could do for her. That day was rough - but I knew I was doing the best thing for both of them.

By far the worst was about two years later. I finally decided to get another dog, and I had her for less than a year. I came home from work and found her dead in my yard. As far as I can determine, she had been hit by a car and survived long enough to drag herself home. I literally cried for a solid month. I just couldn't get over it. I would sit and look at her picture and just get hysterical.

I had not planned to get another dog, because I did not want to "replace" her, but in the end, it was the only thing I could do to get control of myself. Trust me - this dog stays in a six-foot tall chain link pen while I am at work. I'm not letting her near the road.

All this to say, yes, the grieving process can be very difficult when you lose a pet. Pets become one of the family, and even though they are not human - a child, a brother, etc. - they still hold a very special place in our hearts. And for people like me (single, no kids, no hubby), they can be a very important companion.

I can't give you any advice on grieving - each has to find her own way through. I hope you have people around you who understand how much you cared for your dog, and that they show compassion for you during this time. Take care. My thoughts are with you.
 
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I have a dog as well and I can't imagine being without him. I agree with the others as to allowing yourself the time you need to mourn and maybe start with some light exercise when you are ready. Pain and loss are tremendous energy drainers and I wish you the best and a relief of your suffering. I'm sure that you will start to feel better soon and please allow yourself to cry when you need to.

Tina
 
I lost a beloved cat several years ago. I found out in the morning that she had feline AIDS, and that afternoon I had to put her down. I know with every ounce of my being that she stayed alive long enough so that I would know what was wrong with her, and so that I could give her a proper goodbye. I insisted on holding her when they put her to rest, and I felt the life leave her little body. But, as sad as that was, I was so grateful that I had that opportunity. She was so near death by the time I found out about her illness that the vet was shocked she was still alive. How devastated I would have been to come home from work to find her dead with no explanation, and no opportunity to be there to comfort her when she went. It took me several weeks to get over it, but time heals the pain. I also had two other cats to take care of...they felt their sister's absence, too...and we comforted each other.

But, be grateful that you were able to hold or be with your precious baby during that last breath. Your doggie is still with you...all around you. And in a few months or a year, get yourself another dog...at least keep your mind open about it...because that will help, as well.

I firmly believe that our animals come back to us if we want them to. I am fairly certain that my little kitty is back with me in another little kitty that I saved from death's door. My kitty's name was Patty, and her problem before was her weak body. My new kitty has a strong body (it's the only reason she was able to survive after her mommy and several siblings from her litter died). This new kitty displays many same characteristics as my Patty did, and sometimes when I call her Patty (even though her name is Lucky), she responds to me. Some people don't believe in this kind of "afterlife reincarnation", but I do. If you do, too, then tell your little doggie to come back to you and to give you a sign that it's him (or her, I don't know if your doggie was male or female). Some day, you might just find a stray dog on your doorstep, and it will be your little doggie coming back to you.
 
Hi Rhiannon--I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you know that you're not alone as you deal with this. We lost a dog fairly suddenly about two and a half years ago... we knew he was sick, but the vets didn't think it was as serious as it was (advanced cancer) until they performed surgery. Our dog had already been sick, and attempting to treat his illness would have meant more suffering and probably wouldn't have helped, other than giving him a few more weeks. It's such a hard choice, and it's still such a sad thing to think about.

You may hurt for quite a while. It's okay to hurt. You know you loved your dog and did everything you could for him. I think that's the most any dog asks. Love, pats and happiness. There are so many animals left to fend for themselves... try to find comfort in knowing that you took good care of yours. It's not easy, but the sadness will ease.

Our dog lived with my mom but was a family dog, and after only a few weeks she was surprised that she felt like she needed to adopt a new pet. It was just her and our other family dog (Sage), and my mom found that Sage had been part of a family of dogs her whole life and really struggled to be by herself. It was almost as though she forgot how to be a dog without others around her. So my mom and I went to the humane society and adopted two new dogs who are crazy, but we love them.

Just take your time. If you want to adopt another dog, do it when you're ready and when you feel like it's okay. You'll know when it's time. Take care of yourself, and feel good about the good life you gave your dog.

Ellen
 
I FELT THE EXACT SAME WAY AFTER I LOST MY DOG MOLLI. SHE GOT CANCER WHEN SHE WAS 10 YEARS OLD AND WE TRIED EVERYTHING BUT IN THE END WE HAD TO PUT HER TO SLEEP.IT WAS HORRIBLE AND IT STILL IS HARD FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT. JUST GIVE YOURSELF TIME BUT TRY TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO. YOU WILL NEVER FORGET HIM AND TRY TO BE COMFORTED THAT YOU GAVE HIM A GOOD LIFE.

I ALSO AGREE WITH THE OTHER POST THAT SAYS OUR ANIMALS COME BACK TO US. A FEW MONTHS AFTER I LOST MOLLI I WENT TO THE HUMANE SOCIETY (WHERE WE HAD GOT MOLLI) AND THERE WAS A BABY HUSKY GIRL IN THE SAME KENNEL WHERE WE HAD FOUND HER. NEEDLESS TO SAY I TOOK HER HOME!! IT DOES TAKE TIME AND YOU NEVER FORGET THEM BUT IT DOES GET BETTER. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
 
Good Luck with your greiving process, you will make it through! Here is a link which has additional resources and reading material which was very helpful when my beloved dobie passed away about a month ago. We have since adopted a senior dobie from a local rescue org. Of course no other animal will replace your loss, but be certain you have plenty of room left in your heart to take in and love another family member!

www.argusinstitute.colostate.edu/grief.htm:-( :)
 
We recently lost a dear pet. GW, short for George Washington. He was a beautiful boxer, that bless his heart,was born with every defect a boxer can have. Inspite of his health problems he was the sweetest, most wonderful dog I have ever been around,or will probably ever be around. I am crying with you!!! We lost GW to a heart defect. We had him for 5 years, and had to put him down because as his heart failed his kidneys failed and he was beginning to suffer terribly. An FYI for anyone else who loves this breed, the problem GW had is very common in boxers, and is herditary. I good breeder will not continue to breed animals who throw pups with this defect. We learned this after the fact.
 
Rhiannon,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have experienced this as well and I know that while I haven't forgotten my pets, the pain does lessen over time. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Pets become such a huge part of our lives and saying goodbye is very difficult.
Many <<<hugs>>>
Cathy
 
I had to put a dog about the same age as yours to sleep several years ago. I cried on and off for days! It was tough. Grieving is grieving and I don't care if it's for an animal or for a human...it takes time...but with every day that passes it will get easier. Soon enough you will be able to think of him and smile instead of crying!
 
I am so sorry for your loss. :-( I am dreading the day I have to put my dogs down myself. I always tell people they will have to send me with them. Don't get so down on yourself for feeling sad and comforting yourself. As you said you gave him a wonderful life, be happy knowing that he was happy with you.
 
We lost our dog of 10 years just last year on November 10th. The day before my birthday. It is very hard and just hard to think or focus for that matter because you are grieving. It took me about a week before I felt like myself and even after though I could stay within my routines, I felt like my heart was ripped out as it still hurts. It is hard for me to watch family videos and see our dog in those videos. My hubby had a much harder time as he and Belle (the dog) had been closer then the rest of us.

Do what you need to do to get by for a few days. Sorry to hear though. It is hard.

Charlotte~~
 
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