Parenting 'quirks'

banslug

banslug

Cathlete
OK, Ellie's post about yearly goals made me post this.

After visiting with Ellie last weekend, I realized that I'm not the only Mom with certain 'quirks' or rules that I may have originally thought were overbearing, strange and/or different than everybody else.

Here are a few:

-we don't use the S word (stupid), H word (hate), D word (dumb), or GOD unless we're praying (this one is hard for ME) in my family.

-in my home, everything has its own place and it goes right back to that specific place as soon as we're done with it. (shoes immediately in the hall closet, book bags immediately on their hook in the laundry room once homework is done, blankets and pillows go back on the couches/chairs in the living rooms when we're done with them, and NO COATS, SWEATSHIRTS, purses or bags hanging on the back of the kitchen or dining room chairs, etc)

-I have a stand-up desk organizer on my kitchen counter that has 4 folders in it, each a different color. One is for anything coming up that is written on the family calendar (which I call my Bible). One is for menus (not sure why, since we eat out VERY little). One is for things I want to research further (websites, products, people, facts), that I've pulled out of the paper, magazine, or somewhere else. The 4th one is for anything MISCELLANEOUS just so it doesn't end up in the junk drawer (which is also organized with bins, lol)

-anytime my kids go to a friend's house to play, they take their own drink container and a small snack

-NO WRESTLING in my house.....I learned early that it's TOO HARD to stop the aggression once it starts, even if it's just in fun.

-when playing with our Nerf dart guns, NOBODY is allowed to point the gun at ANYBODY else's head/face. And we DO NOT say anything like "die, kill, you're dead", etc. This is STRICTLY ENFORCED.

-anytime my kids ask for a specific food item from a restaurant (pizza, or McD's nuggets, or something similar), I take them to the store and we MAKE it homemade first.....if they still 'crave' it, then I'll treat them.

There are many many more, but this post could get long.

Wanna share??? Please???? Make me feel better! :)

Gayle
 
Gayle,
I really don't have any family "quirks" to add. My kids are in their 20's now.
But, I will say to you, that on behalf of all of the teachers, Thank you and Bless you for your excellent parenting!! It is a tough job and unfortunately too many parents don't take it seriously.
Your boys are so blessed to have you as their mom!! :)
 
Gayle, you rock! It's hard being a tough parent at times, but it'll be worth it in the end. Let's see, some of our parenting "quirks" are the same-shoes in the garage, backpacks in the bench in the laundry/mud room, everything in its place-DH is a neat freak:) No bad words i.e stupid, dumb, shut up, etc. My 2 year old will call you on it every time and tell you, "Only Daddy say that!"

We follow through on revoking priviledges. I can't tell you how many people I know who threaten, but never follow through! Oh, treats are not snacks! And chips are a treat-a salty one. A snack must tide you over from one meal to the next. We have "weekend" cereal-the sugary stuff, during the week it's 6 grams or less. Sad to say, my DD9 got teased once for not knowing what a Pop Tart was-made me so proud:)

I'm sure I have more, I just can't think of them right now. I'm glad to know I'm not the only mom out there with "quirks":)
 
Gayle -
I can't believe how many of your "quirks" are mine also. I raised three grown sons with
the same ones.

- I have to add the R word (retard) NEVER allowed in my home.
- The Nerf guns crack me up - NEVER above the neck here either.
- Whenever we were at the park/playground, if the boys fussed at all when leaving
(you know the scenes some children make when they are told they are leaving) they knew
we would not be returning to that particular place. No exceptions. We never had a
problem.
- Whenever they asked for something they "needed" we discussed whether it was
a "need" or a "want". I told them I would always provide what they needed and they
could save for or ask for a want for their birthday or Christmas.

They thought I was ultra strict - I am quite happy with how they turned out.
 
Okay, let me explain!!!

Gayle and I put 4 very young boys together, who had never met, for an entire weekend. No fathers or hubby's around. It was a COLD weekend, so no outdoor play. Then we threw in a trip to the mall (in December) 2 teenage girls and a husband and wife and had them eat lunch in a restaraunt in the mall with an order for 11 people!!! And guess what????

WE HAD A BLAST!!!!

No fighting, no bad behavior, no rudeness, no time outs etc. The adults had a nice lunch and CONVERSATION at lunch. The boys played together, shared everything without being asked, and had fun.
And it turned out that way because of the parenting that went in long before the weekend was ever even an idea.

I have taken some heat over the years because I am a strict parent, but I believe my boys are happier for it. They know when dinner is, they know when bedtime is, they know what is expected of them and why. I believe that they feel secure because of it. It's hard to say no sometimes, and I'd be lying if I didn't tell you there are nights when I wonder, should I just have given him the damn cookie????? But, there are many more nights when I go to bed knowing that they will be better people for it.

Kuddos to Gayle and Phyllis (she has NICE teenage girls) and all the other parents who PARENT!!! The world is a much nicer place because of you and your efforts will be rewarded tenfold.

Forgot to mention, our rules are the same as Gayle's rules which is why they were so easily enforced. Everyone already knew the rules!!!!!!

ellie
 
Thanks, Ellie!!! I liked the comment about all 4 of our boys knowing the rules because MY rules are the same as YOUR rules. Sometimes, when I send my kids to other kids' houses, I feel like I should send my kids with the Trenberth 10 Commandments! (or at least hand them out when others come here) LOL

Gayle
 
No "bad" words

...in our house! It amazes me as to how our (society) definition of "bad words" has changed since I was a child! We do not use those words either.

Our big summer time rule - You can not go to a friends house without asking first and if you leave that house you need to tell me where you are going. We have about 3 or 4 houses that the kids bounce around to and from and I need to know where they are at all times! I can't count how many times I have to answer the phone and say things like "Sorry your kid is not here", "No, I don't know where he is", "We haven't seen him all day." My kids get reminded at the beginning of summer and after that if they brake the rule they are grounded for a day, two days the next time... (we've never had more than one day!)

Other "rules"

-put the seat and the lid down when you are done.

-flush!

I always know when someone else child has used our bathroom! I could go on, but you get the picture!

Diane
 
Oh, Diane!!! How could I forget about the bathroom thing! lol Since I have 2 boys, all their friends are boys also. And yes, you're right.......toilet lid and seat UP, hands not washed and light still on when they come out!!!!

Oh, and there's still this one boy, now 8, who asks me to wipe his behind for him when he does #2!!! Hugh? I stopped wiping my OWN kids when they were, like 4! YUCKO!

Gayle
 
banslug said:
Oh, and there's still this one boy, now 8, who asks me to wipe his behind for him when he does #2!!! Hugh? I stopped wiping my OWN kids when they were, like 4! YUCKO!

Gayle
Click to expand...

That's just wrong!!

Reminds of when I was about that age and went to a friend's b-day party at McDonalds. I had to use the bathroom. My friend's mom was an extreme germ-freak and didn't want me to. I told her I really had to go. So she said "OK I'll go with you then." I had no idea how her presence was going to prevent the germs until she came into the stall with me, lifted me up and HELD ME OVER THE TOILET!! Even at 8 I had an idea of the complete absurdity of the situation. And who can "go" when being dangled over the toilet?!!

Crazy.

Sparrow
 
I just have a question - how do you make a 1.5-year old listen and obey or is it even possible???? : )

I put him in time out over and over, hasn't seemed to make any difference. I've tried slapping his hand...that has only resulted in him screaming and slapping me back. I tell him no and remove him from the situation, he mostly just points back and me and says NO!

Help me before I throw him out of the window! he he
 
Gayle,

My list of rules, both at home and as a fifth grade teacher, are almost exactly the same as yours. I take a lot of heat for it, but I agree with you completely. We and our children are all happier when they have boundaries. Of course, this includes setting boundaries for ourselves, which seems to me to be the hitch many parents run into. They don't want to lead by example. I have a bit of a Bohemian temperament, so this was tricky for me, too, but I managed it for his sake and for the sake of my students. I only have one child, and I worried while I was raising him that I was too strict, but he is grown now, and he is a terrific kid. No regrets at all.

Shari
 
Since I have no kids, I really have no business posting in this thread, but just wanted to say it's great to know there are parents out there who still do things the right way!!

I was a part of the mall trip Gayle and Ellie spoke of, it was such a treat to watch children act the way these kids did, to say nothing of Phyllis's teenage daughters who willingly offered to take the younger kids to the arcade so the adults could converse.

Keep up the great work, parents!!
 
The kids bopping from house to house drives me nuts too! My little guy is only 3.5 but I flip out every summer when I see 7 year old boys wandering around town on their bikes. We live in a safe little podunk town but no way is my little kid going off on his own that young, or even w/ other kids!

We have the same rule about not returning somewhere if there is any fit when we leave.

We have a pop rule too. He only gets pop occasionally if we go out to eat (rare) otherwise it's milk or water. He actually will ask for milk before pop now anyways.

We have a big carseat rule that he knows and will enforce if anyone tries to put him in the car w/o one. Drives MIL nuts, but she knows better than to try it or it will be the last time she drives him anywhere!

Any tantrums result in an immediate removal to your bedroom where you can scream and stop your feet if you want to but you can't come down until you're fit to be around.

Any kind of projectile is NOT to be aimed at people or animals

Someone mentioned the "R" word, that is a big no no in our house

We also have the "promise" rule that we had in my house as a kid. Basically if you say promise to something you darn well better be telling the truth. My mom drilled it into us at a young age so even to this day I can't say promise about something and be telling a lie. Mom also never made us "promise" about anything that wasn't vitally important either.

You're not allowed to say "bored" in the house. If you're bored there are always plenty of chores to do. :cool: Got that one from my mom too!

Chores are part of being a family, even Peyton at 3.5 has his chores. You can earn an allowance by picking extra chores off of a list.

It is "yes, please" or "no, thank you" not yeah or no.

Another throw back from my childhood is when someone calls for you, you do not respond with "What", you go see what they want. Also if someone ask you to get something you run, do not walk, to go get it (provided you're outside).
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top