Parenthood Changes EVERYTHING

naughtoj

naughtoj

Cathlete
I don't even have kids yet and this is funny!!! :)


The following appeared in the February 1998 issue of Parenting. Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.




The Baby's Name
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice
pronouncing and writing combinations of all your
favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt
Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where
your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!




Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember
that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.




The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate
them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?



Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you
pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake
your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the
mechanical swing.



Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry
cleaner.



Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you
call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees blood.



At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the
baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your
older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
children.
 
LOL, JANICE! "You ask for an epidural in your 8th month." Love that! I went natural after my first, an emergency C. What was I thinking?

My husband joked the first one drops the pacifier. You pick up the pacifier and boil the pacifier and cooinly give it to the baby. The second, you pick it up, rinse the pacifier and stick it back in, pointing for the general vicinty of the babies mouth. The third, you pick it up, spit on it and wipe it on your shirt and throw it in the general vicinity of the baby. :D
Bobbi "Chicks rule!"http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/tiere/animal-smiley-032.gif
Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
LOL that is just so cute, I was thinking that the other day and have noticed how I have changed and things have changed since I had my first child to my fourth child, it is so funny, even the diapers change, at least it was for me, I bought the most expensive thinking that was the best for my baby and by the time baby number 4 came I just started to buy the cheap brand LOL,
 
This is my version of the pacifier story:


first baby: you sterilize it in boiling water
second baby: you wipe it in your clothes
third baby: you send the dog to pick it up

I thought it was just so true! :)
 
Janice,

That is so funny - but so true! What about taking their pictures - millions of first times with the first one, by the time the third or fourth comes along - they ask where was I in this picture - oh you were sleeping.

You cannot wait for the first words - by the time you have the third or fourth - it is like please just be quiet for just five minutes okay?

I loved the one about hiding from your kids for a few minutes everyday - how funny!

Parenting does change everything - but we learn from the changes.

Cheryl
 
coo-ing-ly
Bobbi "Chicks rule!"http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/tiere/animal-smiley-032.gif
Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
The actress Bonnie Hunt said her mom tried to pass off pics of older sibs as she. Apparently they all resembled strongly. :)
Bobbi "Chicks rule!"http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/tiere/animal-smiley-032.gif
Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
OMG...by the fourth DS I was asking, would you like katsup with that bug you're eating? And, do you need some water to wash down that dirt? To one of the older, would you spit on and wipe off the pacifier before giving it to your little brother. And when asked "Mom shouldn't you wash that bottle for the baby, he already used it once?"...I just rolled my eyes. And so what if they toddled around the yard butt naked, saved on diapers AND grass fertilizer. And so forth...


Now that they are older...And when they reach the rooftop, I just turn my head knowing they always fall off if I watch. And, look under your bed, I'm sure they're some socks there you could wear. And when hearing MOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!! constantly my reply is, "Do not come and tell me about it unless (1) there is blood and lots of it (2) someone is unconscious and not breathing (if he's breathing he's ok) (3) someone is destroying my Cathe DVDs."

And you know what, they're all ok.
:7
 
My dad swore eating dirt was good for you and I swear he was proven right. Trace minerals.

My rule is I don't want to see anyone in tears unless they are sporting a bloody stump.
Bobbi "Chicks rule!"http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/tiere/animal-smiley-032.gif
Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
You have a admirably well-trained dog!
Bobbi "Chicks rule!"http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/tiere/animal-smiley-032.gif
Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
This is hysterical, but so true. I only have one. But my girlfriend has three -

Her first - she used to boil the water to warm the bottle, because it wasn't safe to warm the bottle in the microwave.

Her second - she warmed the bottle in the microwave and just made sure to shake it really well.

Her third - the bottle went straight from the fridge to the baby.

She said by the third she realized that 90% of what she was so careful about with the first didn't really matter.
 
We tell our first we are sorry she is so neurotic but the first are our experiments and we are more likely to screw up due to lack of experience, right?
 
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