Panhandlers...

I use my Dad's motto--the best way I can help a panhandler is by not becoming one myself.

The sad part is these cases are no longer only in the streets, some are brave enough to solicit places of employment.

One day while I was checking my mail in the office at work, a woman was talking loudly to the secretary. The woman then included me in on her conversation. She told us how her boyfriend was just sent to jail and her diabetic child need insulin. She said that she had no one to go to for help--she claimed that her sister would not help her because she was a total "b****". Her son's insulin cost $20 and she didn't have any money. She then asked if we would give her the money.

I simply said, I'm sorry I don't have any change and I left, the secretary gave her a dollar. The woman's response according to the secretary was, "great, now all I need is 19 more dollars."
 
I actually don't give money to panhandlers very often, but when I do I'm in the camp of "they can use it to buy what they like". I'm sitting here at work with my Starbucks, a little later I will have my favorite chocolate muffin (pretty much nutrionally void), after I work out tonight I will sit down with a glass of wine and my favorite trashy magazine. All of these little non-necessaries relax me, and if I were poor and/or homeless I would need the little splurges and luxuries even more, each little non-essential thing would be that much more pleasurable.
 
I do sometimes, sometimes not. Once a lady approached my family at Costco with a sad story about needing a place to stay overnight before some surgery...(don't remember all the details). So instead of giving her money (which may be what she really wanted?) and leaving it at that, we gave her a ride to a nearby motel and paid the money to the clerk for one night. I would not have done that if I were alone with my DDs, but with DH it felt safe enough.

She might not have really wanted this (a room and not cash), but we felt that since were were able to help in that way, we should. Sometimes I think if I needed help I hope someone would have compassion on me too. It was a good lesson for our DDs as well, to help if you are able.

My DH has given people rides to the Homeless shelter or Union Gospel Missions for food, showers and a place to stay as well.

You just never really know if the need is real. Sometimes they may be angels in disguise ;) It is a hard call.

Mary
 
I'm more careful about whom I give to. Some years ago, when I worked for the legislator, one of his constituents called about help during the holidays. In retrospect, I'm sure she called up every agency she could find and worked the system. Anyway, my co-worker and I -- dumb saps -- bought her story and felt sorry that she couldn't afford anything for her kids for Christmas. So, we pooled our money together and each chipped in over $100. (We weren't making much at the time, either.) We hand-delivered them to her door and never heard another word from her again. We thought the gifts weren't appreciated because they were board games, books, and less expensive toys, not the handheld video games or pricey sneakers she mentioned on the phone. A simple "thank you" would have been nice. We were played.

As far as panhandlers go, I don't see them often, but I tend to give to street performers (sometimes, not always) but not usually the folks who sit, stand, or just come up to you.

[font face="bradley hand itc" size=+2]~Cathy[/font]

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>Something to consider....
>
>
>
>Why say no to panhandling?
>According to studies, giving money to panhandlers does not
>help those in need because:
># Cash given to panhandlers will most likely be used to buy
>alcohol or drugs.
># Most panhandlers are NOT homeless.
># For some, panhandling is a profession and at times, studies
>show, a lucrative one.
># Homelessness is not the problem for truly needy panhandlers,
>but rather a symptom of underlying problems. They need help,
>not handouts.

i used to live in point pleasant beach,NJ and during the summer we had this issue alot. even as a young teen i saw my fellow peers trying to play on the tourist sympathies just to make a spare dime meanwhile i was stuck with 3 500 degree pizza ovens making an honest living(minimum wage with tips and abuse,abuse was free LOL). its not that i don't care but i choose to go directly to the sources in my area like goodwill,DAV(veterans thrift stores that also help), and the salvation army. IF they are really down on their luck these organizations in my city will help them find work or schooling and help them get any help they need.

honestly no excuse in MY city b/c the help is there meanwhile myself and my single grandparent neighbor can't get assistance to cover therapy costs for our autistic kids b/c the city doesn't deem these kids need more help as long as we are around. maybe i should panhandle for therapy cost!!!who is willing to give a few pennies LOL


kassia

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YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING,WHERE WOULD YOU PUT IT??

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I NEVER give money to panhandlers, and would urge anyone that does to please stop. A huge reason so many of those people are homeless is because they are fugitives. If they refuse to go to a shelter or food bank and resort to begging instead, it is very likely because they are avoiding being found. I can't tell you how many of them have been picked up because their picture was on America's Most Wanted, and somebody called in "oh that's the homeless guy that lives under the bridge." I also know a lot of police officers. They'll tell you the same thing.

Of course, not all fugitives look like tough guys. They can be the sobbing woman with the kids who's actually running away from a drug charge, or worse, a child-abuse charge.
 
I do have a condition when I make charitable donations.
If I donate to Boxer Rescue, I want my money to go to boxers. Not some guy's hot tub. If I donate to the Oprah's network, I want the money to go to the needy.

We work hard for our money and I will not donate unless it is to a reputable charity. I want to know my hard earned money will be put to good use.
I believe whole heartedly, give a hand up- not out.
 
>Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression that a good
>majority of the panhandlers that are just asking for cash, are
>looking to use it for booze, drugs, cigarettes, etc...things
>that the above services would NOT provide.

I think that's probably the case.

One thought is to hand out cards for a food bank (or some other non-cash thing that they must trade for food).

One panhandler I was tempted to give something to was a young woman in the Paris subway with her dog. I wanted to help the dog (HE wasn't going to use it for drugs or alcohol!), but the girl really looked stoned, so I was pretty sure any money I gave her would go straight to drugs. I did consider shopping for a bag of food (human and dog) and bringing them back for her, but I didn't).

Also be cautious: while you're getting out money to give to this person, a companion of theirs may be watching to see where you keep your money, and you could end up being the victim of a pickpocket.
 
>I don't give money anymore, but a couple of times when I've
>been approached after leaving a restaurant, I have given a
>homeless person my leftover food.

I would definitely do that. That way, you're sure their donation is going to something to help them and that they need.

And if I lived in a city where there was a lot of homelessness/panhandling, I'd donate to shelters and foodbanks, so I would give indirectly.
 
I find this so interesting, so many different takes and strategies. I really like the idea of keeping some non-perishables in the car. I don't have money to give away but real, practical help would leave both the giver and recipient feeling good.

Amy, I like that your sister did this, years ago I threw a perfectly good ring off the side of a boat for the same reason, would have been nicer to give it to an unsuspecting stranger.:)

Take Care
Laurie
 
It was done by the City of Chicago.
I used the term "someone" becuase I can't remember which department did the study.

I walk by some of these folks that are wearing nicer clothes than I am (think North Face Jackets).

I'm sure there are legitimate homeless folks that really need help. Unfortuantely for them, there are too many of the other type that ruin it for them.
 
When I worked in NYC, I did give $ sometimes, but most of the time I didn't. To be honest, some of the homeless there just scared me. One time, I walked around one who was swaying slowly in front of me, and he whacked me in the back, hard, when I did. I turned around to face him, and he just gave me the coldest, most hateful stare.... I still remember that day. My friend was pushed into a building crevice by a homeless person, who then grabbed her crotch. I know there are many homeless people who are truly deserving of help.... but I don't like to feel physically threatened because of the erratic behavior of some.
 
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