Opinion from mothers of daughters.

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exercise forever

Cathlete
I never thought I would be considering this, but my 13 year old daughter wants to get her belly button pierced for her B-day in Nov.
I don't see anything wrong with it considering there are worst things that she would want to do.

She would ask her dad about doing it and he flat out said no! Needless to say she did not like this. So when my dh and I were alone we talked about it and I think I have him convinced. Hey said maybe she could do it for her B-day. She won't know anything about it till then. She will be so surprised!


The one thing I am worried about is whether she will take good enough care of it. I heard they can get infected easily.


I guess I want to get some of you mothers opinions about this. Am I doing the wrong thing?



kim
 
My daughter wanted to get her belly botton pierced when she was 16. We told her absolutely not. It's not that I have anything against pierced belly bottons, or anything else for that matter. I thought she was too young to decide to do something to her body that was as permanent as a piercing. I told her that was something she could do for herself when she was an adult. Well, she's 30 now and still hasn't done it. That's just my opinion. Others may have a different take on the situation.

My question to you is, why is it important to you that she have the piercing?. It was important enough to YOU that you talked your husband into it. Just wondering.
 
The rule at my house has been no piercings (other than earlobes) or tatoos as long as you are living at home, or under our financial care. My DD is 18, but just starting college. As long as we are paying for school, no extraneous holes. She can do whatever she likes when she is on her own. So far, she has accepted this. No way I would allow a 13 year old to get a belly button hole, mostly for the hygiene factor. My DD wasn't even mature enough to handle contact lenses until about 15. Just my 2 cents.
 
I just want to stress first off that it is your daughter and utimately you and your husband's decision. BUTTT my opinion is NO. I have three girls and they are currently 3,6, and 8. So I don't have an opinion on a teenager other then to base if off my neices who I currently have 4 of teen age. My reason for no would mostly be I think she is too young. And second what is her reason for wanting it other than the fact that it is in style right now to have one. I think maybe when she gets older and it's still something she wants then mabye. I know she could want worse things but the thing is she still has to have boundaries of what things she does now that will effect her when she is older. Yeah she could let it close up but still at thirteen I think she only wants it because #1 It will make her cool and you'll be the cool mom for letting her do it. #2 It's in style #3 In your statement above your worried about weather she is mature enough to take care of it. If you still want her to get it and she still wants to get it later down the road then yes. Go for it. But right now I dont' think at thirteen she wants it for the right reasons. JMO.I'm not against piercing or tatoo's or anything. My husband and I have both. I just didn't do it at 13. No hard feeling either way. What ever you decide I'm sure will be the right choice. You know your daughter best. Good Luck. Karen
 
When I was a teenager, my parents didn't allow me to get any extra piercings (besides the ones in my ears). Well, I should be more specific - the only extra piercings I ever asked for were more holes in my ears. My parents said it would project the wrong image if I was ever interviewing for a job. That's sensible enough, and I'm glad I never got those extra ear piercings, because it's not my style now. Belly button piercings weren't yet in-style back then. Not sure if my parents would have let me get a BB piercing if I had asked for it. Something tells me they would have said no, but I can't think of any good logic against it, other than risk of infection - but I was very good with hygeine as a teen, and my parents knew that. It's not like a nose-piercing or eyebrow piercing, where it's always visible to people. And no piercing is really "permanent" - you can always take the ring out and let it heal over if you get tired of it. I dunno, I'm just rambling on. I don't have any kids, so I can't speak from a parental perspective, but I guess I just don't see a big problem with it, if you and your DH agree on it, and you know she will take care to keep it disninfected and clean.

ETA: Thinking about it a little more, 13 does seem a little young for this kind of thing. Maybe this is something you could let her do when she's a little older?
 
Hey Kim: I'm with Karen, the right choice is what works for you and your family but since you asked.....;-) My eldest is 16, last spring when we were discussing what she would like for her birthday present we talked about piercings. I said she could get more in her ears if she would like then she asked about her nose. I wasn't sure right then and there how I felt about it so I told her I'd get back to her. She then asked about the belly button and I knew right away I wasn't comfortable with it and said so, I personally think it's for girls a bit more mature; there is something decidedly 'sexy' for lack of a better word,(JMHO) about the navel piercing so I told her she would have to wait until she was older, more independant and able to afford it herself. I see the young (and older) men looking at her enough thank you very much, for the time being I feel that we needent be drawing any more attention to her beautiful body;-).

In the end I agreed to the nose piercing but Elizabeth's teen whimsy had shifted and she was much more interested in an electric guitar than any piercings. I think she made a great choice!
Good Luck with whatever you decide Kim:)

Take Care
Laurie
 
I'm not a mother, but I'd say 13 is too young for this. Why does she want one? If no one will see it, what's the use? If people will see it, I think it projects a more adult image than may be appropriate for a 13 year old.

And though there are many other worse things she could ask for, that's not really a great reason for letting her do it.

I'd say wait until she's at least 16. By then, it may not be in style anymore anyway.
 
You ladies have given me something to think about. I guess I do have to give her age a second thought. Some of the things you are saying are good points. Thanks for your opinions and more to come I hope!


kim
 
My daughter is 12 and I agree that 13 is too young for a child to be responsible and also to understand the difference between style and a fad.

Is your daughter allowed to wear midriff-revealing clothing? I know that at my daughter's school they have a dress code and don't allow bare midriffs, spaghetti-straps, low necklines, or any clothing that reveals undergarments. They make the kids touch their toes and if ANYTHING shows they make the kid put on their gym clothes and their clothes are confiscated and the parents called. And the rules ARE enforced.

Now is the time for learning in school and the focus should be on that - not on fashion and naked body parts. Can you imagine anything more distracting for a hormonal teenage boy?

You might suggest that she wear a paste-on jewel insted. You may find that the forbidden fad is more important than the actual event. I know that when we let our daughter wear clip-on earrings a few years ago she stopped caring about it... then she agreed to a deal this year where if she stopped biting her nails and got A's in math she could get her ears pierced... let me tell you that was one motivated child!

Good luck,

Dawn P.
 
My opinion may not count because I don't have daughters, but I know I would not have a problem with it.

This is your decision, and you should not let the opinions of others make up your mind for you. I think everyone has a right to express their opinion, but you have to do what you think is right. If you have no problem with it, then let her do it and make sure she takes care of it. If you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't let her do it.
 
This one is easy - a big fat NO until she's 18 and self-supporting, or out of collegs (which you have paid for) and then she can pierce and tattoo to her heart's content at her own expense.
Just Do It! :)
 
My daughter is going to be 17 very soon and she doesn't even need to ask me about belly button piercing's. She knows how I feel about them for her and myself. For example: I put my foot in my mouth when speaking to another mom about how I hated them...blah, blah, blah. The mom then pulls up her shirt to reveal hers. LOL! End of story.

Charlotte~~
 
Personally I'd say no until she was 18 as well. My daughter is now 19 and is going to get hers done when she gets to her goal weight (it is something she wants to do for her). When I got mine done there was a girl 13 and her parents really wanted to get it done. The guy had MANY piercings and said no she was too young. So they were VERY angry and said they would go to a neighboring state.

Not sure if you have one but they take a LONG time to heal completely so hygiene is huge. I think you could do it as when you reach a certain age. I think it's really good for teens to learn certain things come at certain maturity levels or require certain things to get a reward.

Not sure how you feel about other piercings tattoos etc?

When I got mine done the guy was convinced once I got one piercing I'd be coming back for more. I never did. I just have ears and belly button and my daughter ears and the high ear cartillege.
 
"I thought she was too young to decide to do something to her body that was as permanent as a piercing."

Piercings are incredibly temporary. You just take 'em out, and they grow over. Simple as that.

That being said, I think 13 is too young. They take a long time to heal and can get infected easily, and they do project an image I'm sure I wouldn't want my DD projecting at that age. I didn't get mine done until I was 34;)
 
My initial thought when I read this post is that she is too young for this...but on the other hand, you are right...there's much worse things she could do/want and I guess it's really not such a big deal and if she's basically a good kid then I guess I really don't see the harm in it...

I'd rather have my daughter have her belly button pierced than to walk around in some of the slutty outfits I have seen on young teenagers today! OMG! DH and I went bowling on monday night and you should have seen the outfit this one girl had on! I don't see many ADULTS wearing outfits like this girl had on! Her pants were SO low cut that you could practically see her butt crack! EWWWWW!But I fear I am getting off the point here, lol!

Anyway, if you let her do this and it gets in infected then she will learn a valuable lesson. And if it DOES get infected and she has to let it close up, then don't allow her to get it re-pierced! In fact, tell her this from the get-go so that she has been warned! I mean, I'm sure people who have taken perfectly good care of a piercing had it get infected so that is a judgement call you would have to make but that's how I would handle it...

ETA: Regardless of the fact that I said maybe you should let her do this, I DO think kids are trying to grow up waaay too fast these days though and this is a perfect example of it. I didn't even THINK about tatoos or piercings until I was 18 and never actually took the plunge until I was 25!!!

Just my 2 cents.:)
 
Hey ladies,

Yes my daughter does have a dress code at home and school. Her shirts have to go over the top of her pants and this is at home as well. Cause I don't want to see her stomach at home either! I told her that noone would see it unless she had a bathing suit on and she said she didn't care. So I'm not sure why she wants to have this done.

I really do appreciated the opinions of you ladies. I do not let others opinions change my mind, but I will admit that I am taking the time to look at this some more.

And tattoos are way out of the question! That is something that is permanent and she should be at the right age to make a decision like that. I was 30 yrs. old before I got one, then two, then three. But I don't regret them as if I had of at a early age. I had cousins that got them when they were sixteen and wish they could remove them now.


But I guess I have some time to make my decision. Oh my dh said that we should tell her that if she would wait a few years then if she still wanted to that she could.


Being a parent is the hardest thing we will ever do!! Didn't know what my mom meant by that years ago!!
 
I think I would be a little more concerned about "why" she wants one. Is she trying to be "sexy"? Does she have a boyfriend? I have a 12 dd and 14 ds and I would make her wait, but I would do some serious investigating as to why she needed one and who she was hanging around with. Marnie

p.s. I am not against piercings - just feel that at that age she is trying to project an image of either an older girl or sexy girl.....
 
I'm sorry I have boys But They both wanted their ear pierced at like 12 or 13 ... I so about died . I gave in and crossed my fingers that they would not like it ... Both boys took the ear ring out within 3 days .. saying "MOM your right I look like a punk !!! " Oh I was soooo happy ! now almost 21 and 17 both have no desire to do it again ... .I dont know sometimes if you leave THAT door open then they will always come to you first for your opinion !!!! Thats better then hidding stuff from you .. I too though think there is a SEXY ness with a belly ring !!! Good luck
 
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