Thanks for all your responses. I certainly know what I should be doing, but sticking with it thru fatigue and times of stress (which is pretty much everyday!) is tough. I know drinking more water will help and cutting back on starchy carbs. I'm glad I don't have a sweet tooth, but I know that starchy carbs are pretty much the same as sugar of their effect on the body. I'll take it day by day. I have stopped by bagels for a quick breakfast in the morning so that will help. I've got alot of paperwork to do at work and I do get a short lunch break, but I find myself getting caught up on paperwork at lunch so I'm not doing it at the end of my shift. Getting another job is not really an option right now since I'm the sole bread winner. This job has good benefits and decent pay. I'm hoping hubby can find work soon to take off some of the pressure and relieve a bit of stress! Maybe I'll take a look at some timesaver premixes. I'm definitely frustrated but have not thrown in the towel yet!
Putting your health, fitness and mental wellness has to be a main priority in your life, and that has to start by making a firm decision in your mind that you're going to focus on creating the lifestyle needed for that to flourish. Other things (paperwork, fatigue, job demands, bills, spouses, etc.) will never, ever stop eating away at that priority. It isn't that you become more important than those things or people, but if you're not functioning at your peak, all of those things and people will suffer eventually.
Without at all being critical, I would say you have to first start thinking and speaking some positive things over your life. "I may be going through peri-menopause and I have gained a little weight, but I live in a day and age of knowledge. Knowledge is power. So I'm going to take that knowledge and get some power in my life going through acting on it. It may be slower than I'd like, but I'm going to see positive changes over time. I'm going to feel better than ever, no matter what it takes!" I say this as someone who used to be incredibly negative and great at making excuses about stuff. It's still a work in progress, but I've found that if I confess positive things in my life - even in the midst of
feeling otherwise - it starts to build hope in myself and in transformation. From that hope, I find I start planting little seeds of something that I believe will grow and yield a harvest one day. It may only be a ten-minute walk here, choosing to drink a protein shake instead of eating a piece of cake there, picking up the dumbbells for five minutes instead of flopping down in a chair when I feel dead on my feet- but it's
something. The more I do, the more I'm capable of doing.
I agree wholeheartedly with lifeisgood about taking baby steps. Put a resistance band, a pair of dumbbells and/or some rubber tubing somewhere that you sit often- your desk at home or work, your sofa, your favorite recliner, your car, etc. Every time you're in one of those places, do a set of some exercise. Or march/jog in place, something like that. Even a minute is enough to start getting your circulation going. Don't underestimate the power of these short bursts to elevate those brain chemicals like serotonin to work in your favor. Also surround yourself with as much positive, active people, situations and literature in your life (like this awesome forum).
I would say that since you can't eat at your work station, then it's even
more important you take a break midday to get away from the desk and eat something healthy and take in a bit of movement. If you can get away with it, tote a protein shake in a double-insulated stainless steel water bottle and/or a protein bar in your purse or briefcase. I remember reading about carrying a little "survival kit" in a book called
Firm for Life years ago. It was great advice. I always carry a little cooler with me to prevent myself from noshing on junk, either during the day or later at night. I keep in it an ice pack, some brown rice Triscuit crackers, string cheese or yogurt, a protein bar...insert your favorite healthy options here. If you've got to step out into a hallway away from your station and grab a container of yogurt to eat mid-morning or something, do it. Tell your employer your blood sugar is running a little low (which is probably the truth after three to four hours of work anyway), and you need to grab a snack.
Be polite, but firm and proactive, about your needs. Don't let "can'ts" stop you from taking back your well-being, mentally or otherwise. I'm not saying it isn't easy and doesn't take leaps of faith. It does. Sometimes we have to speak up and have conversations with the people in our lives to get the support we need too, including our boss(es).
I really hope none of this sounds like I'm making light of your situation, because I'm definitely not. I work full-time, have a long commute to work and back each day, have a fiance that I'd much rather spend my limited free time with these days as opposed to working out, and fight with the pain and fatigue of fibromyalgia on a daily basis. I was once 440 lbs., walking with a cane (and I was barely 30 years old), and had medical issues that led to early peri-menopause. I lost over 150 lbs and am smaller than I was in high school right now, but it took putting my health and fitness at the top of my priorities to get there. It took difficult mental and lifestyle changes that have continued to evolve. I believe you'll get there, but
you have to believe that you'll get to the top of the mountain.