Need help with binge eating!

RE: Walking in the Light

Hi...Some more suggestions, and I'll preface by saying everyone is different. Find the truth for you. This is what has helped me:

1) Don't beat yourself up. Be gentle with yourself b/c that's what you're truly needing -- self-care, comforting. Try giving yourself some one-on-one attention without the continuous swallowing.

2) Breathe. It's hard b/c that means you have to get still. Getting still is painful b/c that brings up the uncomfortable emotions. If you can get to the point of remember that they are just emotions, and the DO pass, you will appreciate the "this too shall pass mindset" on a more regular basis.

3) If you commit to hearing the truth (sitting still, breathing, writing), you will need support. Lala suggested it above, and I highly recommend "shopping" around for a qualified therapist who *specializes* in eating disorders. You should be comfortable with him/her, and he/she should be gentle and understanding with you. You deserve spending that time and money.

4) Do not diet. Do not diet. Do not diet. Don't go buy another book re: a new eating plan. Deprivation only leads to binging -- unless your physician specifies for health reasons (like diabetes), you should enjoy a variety of foods. No foods are good or bad. But, think of food as fuel. Eat whole, fresh foods. And, eat what you truly want with limits. (i.e., Want ice cream? GO treat yourself to some with a friend, not the whole gallon alone in your home. -- You'll probably find you want the friend more than the ice cream in the end anyway!)

5) Again, do not beat yourself up. One step forward, two steps back. Think of the onion analogy -- spiritually/emotionally/mentally/and maybe physically you will be shedding thin layer after thin layer. Again, one step forward, two steps back. If anything, give back love to this "war". Let it know you are caring and open to hearing the truth b/c, ultimately, it's just a lightbulb to say "take care of this, take care of me". It's really not a "bad" thing, just you trying to get your own attention.

6) Some website/book suggestions:
http://www.whatareyouhungryfor.net/
Eating in the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnston
Sensing the Self by Sheila Reindl
Anything by Geneen Roth
Beyond Feast or Famine by Susan Ward
When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies by by Jane Hirschmann, MSW & Carol Munter
Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
www.findingbalance.com

Best of luck to you and anyone else on this journey.
Take care,
Caroline
 
RE: Walking in the Light

Caroline, I've been reading Eating in the Light of the Moon because of your recommendation in a different thread and I wanted to let you know how much I like it. Thanks for mentioning it.

Erica
 
Binge Eating

This is a great forum isn't it? As nurses,we are pretty good and committed about healthy lifestyle in our unit...until.....well, a grateful wife brought us in a satanic sticky bun cake...oozing with butter,brown sugar,sopped up white flour, sugared nuts...well you get the picture...one bite (of a million calories)led to 20 bites....but one of our nurses, who has recently lost 35 pounds with WW,said, "look, its 11 am, we blew 10-11 am, but there's lots of hours in the day...and we can redeem this"" and she proceeded to eat a light salad for lunch, and fruit/veggies the rest of the day, with an egg and some milk somewhere for protein.....so I thought that was a great insight...just because you blew one hour of a day, you still have 23 hours of healthy living..and take it one hour at a time..the compulsion is the same as alcoholism, only ya can't swear off food...but, in cases like a major trigger, like that damn sticky bun cake...I would've been better off not to even taste it....

We're all in this together!
 
RE: Walking in the Light

Okay, I've been lurking on these boards for about a year, and this thread has brought me out of hiding (and forced me to post at work!).

Beloved Heather, your words are SO encouraging.

I am a binge eater, and I'm out of control. I also suffer from depression, and I've started a low-carb diet to try to combat my binge eating on ceral and other healthy grains. Now I am so worried that this low-carb diet/restriction is going to make things worse.

I am asking God for help, but I cannot find my release.

I have also started seeing a Christian therapist. Our second meeting will be Thursday.

Perhaps I might PM you, BH, to hear more about your story.

I feel so ashamed and alone.
 
To everyone here, I have been free of this compulsion for over 15 years. Fifteen years!!! And how did I get free? Therapy and Overeaters Anonymous (OA). No it is not just for overweight people. It is for all of us with a compulsion around food. Saved my life. Really a map for life. There are specific meetings for those with bulimia, anorexia. And what you are all describing is bulimia. Let me guess for example - you compulsively exercise for the days after binging??? Diet to "get rid of" the extra calories?

Listen to me - there is a way out. There really really is. And you all have been born with the tools to overcome this. In fact, by admitting your problem and reaching out for help you have shown two fo the most important tools right there. I never thought the runaway train of this would end and it did. I just had to be willing to not do it my way and somehow taking baby steps it worked. I urge everyone to check out OA and therapy. You are not alone!!!!

Julie
 
Oh, geez - work-related stress can be just awful!! I truly feel for you!!

A couple of things to keep in mind: when it comes to meds, you usually have to wait a week or two before you feel any change. There are so many different anti-depressants out there that you may have to try a few out to find the one that has the least amount of side-effects. For example, Prozac might zap your libido, but Wellbutrin may not.

Do you have a special friend that can help you through those tough moments? I know that it can be embarassing to admit what you percieve as a shortcoming, but if you have a truly good friend to help you through, well, that may make things a little easier. I'm so fortunate to have a girlfriend that I can talk to about anything - she's always there for me and does her best to help.

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Give yourself more credit; admitting the problem is half the battle! Work on your self-esteem: make art or something crafty, do something productive for YOU, not someone else, and congratulate yourself.

This will not last forever...

All best to you!
 
I really sympathize with you. I had also had the problem my entire life, and the only way I can solve it at all is by not having any sugary foods around the house. I tend to eat when I am very stressed out, and I was having an altercation with my daughter last night. I knew she had Italian cookies and candy in a bag on the dining room table, and it was all I had to do not to eat them.

She is 21 with a perfect body and measures 34-25-35.
 
A few weeks ago, I was having an extremely difficult day with eating, and I actually called OA to inquire about the meeting. The number was disconnected, and I got discouraged. Of course, there are other meetings all over the city I live in, but I felt defeated.

I'm usually 134.5 but since I have started work this summer I have put on 6 lbs. Most of it has to do with binging at night when my DH is at work and since I did not eat enough during the day. Part of it also has to do with not especially liking my job. I spend a lot of time trying to find stuff to do; this was not how I intended my career to be after graduate school.

I have a second appt with a therapist this Thursday and she specializes in eating disorders (bulimia). Hopefully I can start controlling my life again. Sometimes I feel so helpless, and I actually tell myself as I reach into the cabinet "you know what you are doing, don't you."

Then the next day I starve, work out for 2/3 times and set myself up for another binge.

I've also been journaling, and looking for online support. I'll try ANYTHING at this point. I tried anti-depressants, and just can't find one that works for me.

I am hopeful, however. Why are women put under all of this pressure to be a certain size? I am more messed up now than I was when I was 174 3 years ago! It's so frustrating!

(Oops, I've gotta get back to work!) Thanks for listening.

Kristi
 
I'm another one who has been helped immensely by Overeater's Anonymous. It's a 12 Step program just like AA, and treats the overeating (or undereating) compulsion like an addiction. You have just taken Step 1 "We admitted that we were powerless over food and that our lives were unmanageable"!

When it comes to this, different things work for different people. For me, the steps and the tools of OA keep me abstinent one day at a time and help me to maintain my 65 pound weight loss. But it's given me SO much more than weight loss. Because of the focus on emotional and spiritual health in addition to physical health, the program has helped me to improve all of my relationships and my self image. It is helping me let go of many character defects such as being controlling, raging, being harsh and overly critical, blaming others for all my problems, perfectionism, procrastination, being overly sensitive, etc. Today I am able to live life on life's terms - happy, joyous, and free. I no longer have wild up and down mood swings, most of the time I'm just emotionally steady, and when things get tough, it doesn't throw me for a loop anymore. I encourage anyone with food compulsions to check it out and see if it's for you. The website with a meeting directory is www.oa.org.

Heather
 
Praying for You

Kristi:

I am praying for you. Feel free to send me a PM anytime. I would be delighted to share my journey with you and encourage you. Your journey will be as unique as you are, but it will be a great adventure. It is hard work, but it is worth it. You are worth it.

Blessings,
Heather B.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV).
 
Hi all ~

Great to hear stories and hope. I agree, it is so much of a spiritual journey, an opportunity to really get connected with your spirit.

Kristi, I received your comment on the blog, and I will try to PM you. If it doesn't work, you're welcome to email me at [email protected].

Take care,
C
 
Thanks newswoman.

Last night I called again about OA. I am going to my first meeting tonight at 6:30. I'm so excited to get started on recovery!

I'm sorry I kinda hijacked the thread. I guess it really spoke to me at this low point in my life. I'm a newbie on Cathe, too (lurked for a year) but not to fitness/nutrition. It's just been a rough summer.

Thanks everyone for sharing your struggles. I have hope that I will get this under control.

Today is day one.

Kristi
 
Awesome! I hope you enjoy it.

As I'm sure you'll hear at the meeting, the general recommendation for newcomers is to try at least 6 different meetings before making a decision about whether OA is for you. Every meeting is different. Different people with different stories, different meeting formats, and sometimes, varying levels of recovery depending on the meeting.

The second thing is to find a sponsor as soon as you can - someone who has what you want who can help you get started.

It's a wonderful journey you're starting on and I wish you the best!
Heather
 
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